DrunkenScotsman

Nothing to apologize for. You're usually review so quickly; the break from the pattern just caused me to wonder. You enjoy your holiday, and read whenever you get back!

Well, I was hoping to reply to all the regulars at once, but Daye's usual review is conspicuously absent. Here's hoping that he's just busy on vacation or something. As I confirmed for Aysha in a PM, yeah, that's Risty. I was gonna have her make the reveal at the end of the story, to set up for the reactions in the next chapter. But, it occurred to me, why would Wanda withhold that information for the entire story, referring to her one-afternoon stand as "the other girl," " the punk girl," etc.? So I decided, at the last moment, that Wanda never got the other girl's name; there's a particular sex-comic out there that uses such a "mystery girl" as the basis of its entire premise. In my own mind, Risty's anonymity (to Wanda anyway) also makes the chapter a bit of a send-up of PWP stories, esp. of the "deliveryman" variety. Some of Risty's specific word choices aren't even British slang, but rather the idiosyncratic way of putting things used by the main character of the series, The Confessions of Georgia Nicholson. I've not read the series myself (as it was aimed at tween/teen girls and published while I was in college/at university), but my wife did and gave me some guidance on the character's usage. The rationale for using that character's idioms will be explored a bit in the next chapter, since I figure someone at the party (Kitty, probably; or maybe Rahne) will have read the series. Tigro: I really appreciate what you said in your review. That's exactly what I was aiming to accomplish. MM616: To answer your question, I have only a little bit more still to write for this story: one more interlude chapter, Rogue's chapter (yes, she's getting a chapter), a reaction-to-Rogue's-story chapter (it'd be an interlude if she wasn't the last girl to go). There will be an epilogue of some kind, touching on what happens to each of the girls as a result of their slumber party; I don't know if it'll be tacked onto the reaction-to-Rogue's-story chapter, or a chapter in its own right. RogueBHS: Welcome to the party! Thanks for your support and your review. You'll just have to wait and see what happens with Rogue. 0:) I hope it won't disappoint!

Thanks for the support, and for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I also hope you can find the fun of your story again. - Brief aside about the Rosario story: I disagree with what you said, but I usually prefer consistency - past or present, just don't switch w/o a good reason. I did have a lot of trouble as I was writing to NOT write it in past tense; we see so much other narrative prose written that way that past seems "natural" to us.

Author: DrunkenScotsman Title: Died in Your Arms Tonight Summary: It must've been something Tsukune said; Kurumu should've walked away. Tsukune finds out what it's like to dance with a devil in the pale moonlight. Feedback: Rate and/or review. Fandom: Rosario+Vampire Pairing: Tsukune/Kurumu Warnings: Angst, M/F, MCD, Minor2 Solo story URL: http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600054141

Okay, so I've been working on Wanda's chapter for a few weeks now. It's about a third of the way finished (I guess). I'd hoped to keep at it to finish this week and give y'all a "bonus update" this summer. However, FTaBH was starting to feel too much like a chore, and I got bitten by the writing bug of another fandom. So the "bonus update" came in the form of a short story in a whole other domain of this site. I feel like I cheated on you guys! (bawls) More seriously, I do apologize for the whims of my muse. If any of you are fans of Rosario+Vampire, I encourage you to check out the story I posted.

Thanks, Aysha. I tried to give some subtle clues throughout the story that Wanda was gay, so it wouldn't come totally out of left field when she made the reveal. I'm glad you picked up on them! As for your guess, you'll just have to wait and see. Review replies: MarvelFan98: Thanks for the review and your continued support. It's much appreciated. Daye - Rogue will definitely be getting a story. I'd initially had her higher up in the batting order, but decided after Kitty's chapter to push Rogue back till last. Regarding "smeghead": I did a little digging, and you're right about the term coming from Red Dwarf, which I didn't know. I'd heard it was tied to smegma from whoever introduced me to the term a long time ago; and it seems like a logical thing to make into an insult. I guess Rahne will just have to have also heard incorrectly where it came from and what it means - a fictional-Aberdeen urban legend, I guess. MM616 - You make a hilarious point, that Evo Wanda being gay is less weird than her sexual preferences in mainstream and Ultimate continuities. Her dialogue in the chapter was even intended to take a subtle jab at Ultimate Wanda's penchant for incest. After all, while she rated her brother as less repulsive than Toad, she also rated him as more repulsive than BLOB. Regarding Kitty, the gist of where I was going w/ her dialogue in the chapter was that she still holds a candle for Lance and for Kurt, even if both those ships sailed. She's happy where she is, but a small part of her heart will always belong to those two. Do you think I should revise the chapter a bit to clarify that point?

Thanks, Aysha. I really appreciate the support. I'm still debating how to do Rogue's chapter, when I get there. I totally agree about the acting-writing connection, as does my wife (who has a theatre degree ).

So I had this epiphany while writing this latest chapter (13): The three girls in X-Men: Evolution who are at different points part of the Brotherhood, what's the thing they have in common? They all have parental figures who try to control them for their own ends - Mystique deceives Rogue at various points, Tabby's dad wants her to use her powers to help him steal, and Wanda is used by Mystique as a weapon against Magneto, who in turn rewrites her memories so she won't get in his way anymore. All three of them are just pawns in their parents' games. This occurred to me in the middle of the chapter. I stopped writing and cried, "Whoa! Mind = blown!"

I don't have any plans to include X-23 in this story, for several reasons. Time's the biggest one - my schedule for the next few months is pretty hectic, and I'll be doing well to put up more than one more chapter before May. Second, I dislike Wolverine, and she's his clone; "blech" doesn't begin to describe my feelings about that. Third, to include X-23, I'd have to work her in from the beginning, and that would require a major revision of all the preceding chapters (see the first reason). Fourth, it'd be a lot more work to integrate her into the group dynamic, since she only made 2 appearances, and even then she had little to no interaction with the other girls. Certainly not as anything other than a threat. Honestly, I feel like I'm having enough problems working out the group dynamic with wild-child Tabby, former villainess Wanda, and pure-background-fluff Jubilee and Rahne into the mix... or at least maintaining a positive enough atmosphere at the party where they're all willing to tell their stories. That last also puts a bit of a kibosh on the story turning into an orgy, though the idea made me chuckle. The way I planned these girls, only a couple of them would even be open to the idea anyways. I'm not sure I'm ready to write an all-girl orgy like that; even if I were, that story isn't this one. I'm glad to get your feedback and ideas. I hope you'll read my other stories on here (you can find them on my profile) and, more importantly, enjoy them.

Just swamped with school is all, classes taken and classes teaching. I appreciate the concern.

Announcement: FTaBH is on hiatus until further notice. Sorry, everyone.

Thanks for the clarification, man; I appreciate it. It's really good to hear A) that it had such a strong effect, and the effect I was going for; and B) that someone else in this segment of the site has a hard time w/ the darker stuff.

Thanks again, gents, for your feedback on the latest installment. I appreciate the support, and the knowledge that my writing has affected you enough for you to comment. I almost couldn't go through with writing this chapter. Though I planned the girls' stories from the start, I almost, at the last moment, decided to make Danielle's story happy and fluffy (and I would've gone back and changed the previous chapter appropriately). Even though she's a fictional character, I hated having to do that to her... though it was good practice, I guess, for stories of a more-ambiguous nature. The ambiguity was mostly intentional, since I wanted to reflect Danielle's mixed feelings about the kinda-sorta-maybe-rape. She's hurt, confused, and worried about the future, just when things were starting to look up for her. I will admit that the whole 'first shower together' part drew from my own experience; it was quite magical, actually. We almost did it, but stopped ourselves. So this chapter is a darker take on that, but it let me express in writing how I felt at the time. Anywho, I'd definitely be glad to revise it a bit (or the previous chapter, for that matter) if either of you have specific suggestions.

Just saw your reviews of the most recent chapter, gents. Thanks so much for your continued and vocal interest in the story. I wish more readers would leave at least one review (like marvelfan98), but oh well. Daye: I don't wanna give away too much, but Danielle's story will mark a shift in tone/mood. It might last the rest of the fic; it might just be her story. And I f---ing LOVE Order of the Stick. MM: Your points are well-taken. I think maybe the piecemeal delivery of each of Jean's tidbits might not have helped. I also remember thinking as I wrote it all, as I wrote Jean being this big bundle of seeming contradictions, "this might be a bit more complicated than necessary." I'm gonna try to break it down below, so you can see where Jean's coming from, and you can maybe suggest ways I might clean up ch. 9. 1. Jean had a ton of guilt about cheating, though that doesn't take away from the fact that it was really good sex. 2. Duncan apologized for his behavior and mended his ways temporarily. Jean rewarded him with sex - classic positive reinforcement, though not that intentional on Jean's part because... 3. Jean also had sex with Duncan to soothe her conscience, especially by letting him think she was a virgin. Though dishonest, she saw letting Duncan have bragging-about-defloration rights as a form of atonement for her infidelity. 4. Jean also also had sex with Duncan because, at the time, she was still attracted to him and she wanted to experience sex again. (This part is probably the least clear in the chapter.) 5. After "Mainstream" and "Blind Alley," she's dumped Duncan and started a relationship with Scott. They decide to abstain from further intercourse until they're married. 6. Jean comments that it was "Scott's idea" as a form of penance. To me, at least, the idea itself, and the idea coming from Scott, are pretty consistent w/ how I've written them thus far, and w/ how they're portrayed in many continuities. 6a. Scott brought up the idea to soothe his own guilty conscience. Also, it's a form of training for their willpower, so that neither of them does anything like that again. (This is Scott we're talking about - train all the things! ) 6b. I imagined Jean's tone when telling the other girl's it was "Scott's idea" as implying that she wasn't thrilled about it, but was willing to deal for his sake. (This might also be a good spot for revision suggestions.) 7. Jean also commented that she and Scott "make do" without intercourse. She left it vague, not wanting to discuss it w/ the other girls; fortunately, the conversation moved on and none of them asked. Plenty of real-life couples, of course, "make do" without intercourse at various times for various reasons, so it didn't seem all that far-fetched to me when I wrote it. I was aiming to explore how one bad decision might lead to a series of other questionable ones - all to make up for the first one - especially for someone like Jean (and Scott - let's not forget it takes two to tango). Does that address most of your questions? How might I incorporate more of that into the chapter (without Jean going on a long spiel - I'd prefer a more organic information flow)? Daye, feel free to weigh in on all the above as well.

You never know...

It's funny you put it that way - I was toying with the idea of having her cheat on Duncan intentionally, instead of it happening organically. I decided w/ the "it just sorta happened" approach because it feels a bit more "innocent" - second-degree adultery, if you will.

Thanks for the reviews, guys. One thing I really wanted your thoughts on: when some of you thought that the Kitty/Kurt chapter would involve Kurt cheating on Amanda, there was some concern expressed; what about with Jean/Scott involving Jean cheating on Duncan? Do you, the reader, give her a pass on judgment, since Duncan's a jerk and everyone, in and out-of-universe, knows it; where Amanda's a sweetheart, well-liked by the residents of the Institute and by many (maybe not most) fans? Did the chapter's flow and ambiance make you forget, if only for a moment, the context of what was happening?

I've never deleted reviews, though I was tempted to on a few occasions. I kept getting really negative reviews from a particular reader who sometimes seemed to be missing the point of what I was trying to do within one story, reviews that built up to what I felt were accusations of 'writing - ur doin it rong'. This person removed the reviews himself, having decided he didn't "want to be associated with that story in any way." I decided to leave the reviews up to prove that I was a big boy who can handle critique and who wasn't going to be petty, despite the overall insulting tone of the review. The same reviewer then gave me some really... shall we say, blunt... feedback on a different story; what was bothersome about the negativity of it was that it was built on certain misreadings and/or assumptions he was making about the story (including mixing continuities from a multi-continuity fandom). He also jumped to some conclusions about where I was going with the story, declared that they were no good and that he was "done with this one too," and promptly removed his reviews again. Ultimately, I chalked the incident up to severe artistic differences and left it at that.

You're wrestling with one of the classic debates faced by any writer. There's a real art to dealing w/ back-story. All I can recommend is to keep experimenting with different amounts of information up-front. Basic vs. detailed doesn't have to be a dichotomy; it can be a continuous spectrum, on which you must find a spot where you're comfortable for a given story, or a given character even. The amount of information you give up-front will probably vary depending on A) the character's importance to the story, B) the information's relevance, in terms of understanding the character, and C) the overall tone and pace of the story.

It happens to everyone. You're usually so on-point, though, that when your response doesn't match what I meant, I start to wonder if I ought not revise. MarvelMaster: Sorry I haven't replied to your review yet. Busy, busy. You're right about the quick emergence/tabling of what happened to Wanda. When I'm in the writing zone, sometimes, the story can get away from me a little bit, bring in elements I hadn't planned to touch on. What Magneto had done to Wanda is, to me at least, pretty appalling; exploring all the ramifications of her discovering it in the timeframe of my story, after they've built more good memories together, would be another fic entirely. I don't know how much more I'll get into it during FTaBH, since that plotline is tangential to what I'm doing here. In season 2, the episode "Hex Factor" introduced Wanda. It also was the episode where Mystique started posing as Professor X, remaining undiscovered through the end of that season or the beginning of the next - the event I'm calling "M-Day" in Evo continuity. From the "Hex Factor" episode (which I'll admit I haven't watched in a while), I didn't get the impression that Prof. X's visits were common knowledge, and/or that anyone else besides maybe Logan or Storm knew who he was visiting. At any rate, all the other possible misdirections the others mention in-chapter were just my thoughts on how someone like Mystique might execute such a deep-cover infiltration and leave lasting "damage," in that even long after the impostor's been ousted they don't know how much she might have erased or altered. Thanks to both of you for sticking with this story. I plan to update soon, and I look forward to your thoughts on Jean and her infidelity.

Daye, my man, I just read your review. I hate to say this, but you read the last line exactly backwards. Maybe I should rephrase it for clarity?

Thanks. Slim pickings, I see. Oh well.

I'm not looking for anything specific, really. I just can't find any Rosario+Vampire stories on this site. Am I just missing them? If so, please answer w/ link, kthx.

Hm. Looks like someone's pulled AgentG's reviews off the story. I'm gonna guess that it was AgentG himself giving up on the story entirely (based on previous post about similar action on different story). AgentG, I'm sorry you don't like my work. No hard feelings - artistic differences happen, and at least we can have open dialogue here or in other forums.

I've had the story planned out since I finished Amara's chapter. But yes, you're just gonna have to wait and see. I apologize in advance for the lengthy layover, though - April's gonna be brutal. I've got 5 major projects due.