Review Responses- Heyoo

[Heyoo]

Hi all!

I feel kind of dumb doing this because I don’t have a ton of reviews or anything, but I just wanted to reply to the ones I have gotten thus far. If I get more I’ll add to this thread.

REVIEW OF “ONE HOT NIGHT WITH HART AND FIRE”

From MTL on June 02, 2019
 

Thanks for the shout out, and the review, much appreciated. I'm really glad you chose to post this instead of deleting it, as that would have been tragic waste, as this was tons of fun.

Obviously I enjoyed the FF more, but I also enjoy reading MF, so I'm always up for a bit of MFF fun, and I think you made good use of some of the combinations you can get with that. Obviously you could have done more, but hopefully that leaves you room for the sequel, which I really hope you get around to, as I'm a big fan of Paige.

Becky Lynch has had a funny career, hasn't she? There were moments on NXT, and when she first won the Women's Smackdown title, the company finally felt they were getting behind her, and I'd argue she could have been seen as a top during those brief times, but yeah, then she went right back to jobbing for everyone, which is definitely bottom material. If the last few years of the WWE's so-called main roster hadn't done an excellent job of crushing my enthusiasm for wrestling I would have probably already done a story where after years of bottoming Becky finally finds the confidence to be a top. Then again the more I see of her now the more I want to see her get her arse fucked, so these two fics have really hit the spot.

I do think you've rushed through a few of the sex acts. Like, maybe focused more on what each character was thinking, and stretch them out a bit more? Just a bit of constructive criticism for you. Because don't get me wrong, I love your work, especially the dirty talk, and of course the lesbian strap-on anal. Exactly my kind of thing, and I hope you keep at it, because I'd really like someone else to be doing it.

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It  is so surreal after reading your work for years to have you not only take the time to read something I wrote but then take time to write a review. A huge kudos to you!!

I’m not 100% sure how soon I’ll return to this fic, as right now I’m focusing a lot more on the Alexa one and another (probably) one shot that’s a take on the classic “model tops a superior wrestler” story. I’m glad you liked it though! Paige is one of my favs too.

Yeah, being a Becky fan over the years has been a definite rollercoaster. My three favorites on the roster have been Becky, Cesaro, and (of course he’s gone now) Ambrose, so there have been lots of ups and downs. To put it in perspective, the woman who just pinned Ronda Rousey in the main event of WrestleMania had just been rolled up by Dana Brooke in 60 seconds on a random SmackDown. How times have changed, indeed.

I definitely agree with the rushing and am working to improve that. A lot of times I want to get to the “good stuff” without remembering that build up and description makes the fic that much hotter.

REVIEWS FOR “ALEXA ON TOP”

From A_Cool on June 02, 2019
 

Good work definitely looking forward to seeing Alexa top the other 3

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Thank you so much! In these coming chapters, Alexa doesn’t get to the other three yet as Bliss is looking to get a few more subs to cement herself as a top, but I promise all three will get their chapter eventually. Although, based on the current story I have mapped out, I can’t guarantee she’ll end up topping all of them.

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From MTL on June 02, 2019
 

Of your two fics so far this is easily my favourite, for obvious reasons.

I have real mixed feelings about Alexa Bliss. She's a great talker, and obviously really hot, but I don't think she's that good in the ring so I found her mega push annoying as I felt it came at the expense of better all-round wrestlers like Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. Which is the same problem I have with Charlotte, who has exactly the opposite problem IMO, of being a great worker but dull on the mic. Although given those mega pushes it does feel like someone should write about one or both of them being the 'Alpha female' as I once refer to it, and this certainly feels like an amazing start to that with Alexa totally owning Becky, and already planning to do it to her little friends.

I particularly loved Alexa taking a picture of Becky's gaped butt hole and sending it to the other women as a message. Maybe if she did it again, it can include an actual message, like another bitch broken or something like that. Again the dirty talk was amazing, and with more focus on just Alexa topping Becky the description felt a lot more vivid. A definite improvement on the first fic. But also did a great job at capturing what the characters were feeling, be that dominant or submissive, which made it that much more erotic.

Was a little disappointed that neither fic included ass to mouth. Maybe you're not into that part, but I think it's a great explanation point for the dominance, and hope to see it included the future. In fact, I hope to see a lot more of this in the future, as it does imply that there is more, and I think it would be a tragedy if there wasn't. So allow me to speculate on what you COULD do for a few paragraphs...

Bayley a bottom-in-denial? Really? I get that Alexa was rounding up, but I would said if any of the horsewomen were natural bottoms it was Bayley, and given her laughable booking Alexa should find that conquest easy. On the other hand Sasha Banks could totally be a bottom-in-denial, although it would be hot if she put up more of a fight. And Charlotte should definitely be a top IMO, at least at first, Alexa either really struggling to overcome her, or perhaps falling to her entirely. It would be interesting if Alexa got topped and maybe even lost her ass cherry to Charlotte before winning in the end. Or at least, that's probably how I'd do it. Then again, Alexa has an amazing ass, so I'd probably write her as more of a switch.

There are benefits to focusing on the four horsewomen, and that's potentially a long series as it is, but I'd love you to include some others. Especially Mickie James, who is still probably my all-time favourite. Following the timeline she returned to help Alexa put Becky in her place once and for all, but Becky seems pretty broken at this point, so maybe Alexa makes Mickie her bitch instead? Mickie used to lose a lot, so theoretically she could be an easy conquest for Alexa. Just practice for a real challenge. Then again, Mickie could start out Alexa's partner in crime, double teaming Becky in convincing her to quit wrestling so she can permanently be Alexa's valet/full-time bitch. A position both Mickie and Becky, or at least Becky, could have once Alexa goes to RAW. You could possibly have her fuck Naomi's big black booty on the way out, but I'm not so big on her.

After Alexa deals with Bayley, and also maybe after Sasha, there is Women's Evolution, where she feuded with two of my other favourites Trish and Lita. In this continuity she doesn't have to get injured, meaning that she can defeat both Trish and Lita, and dominate them with the help of her loyal pet Mickie (who is perhaps Trish's former girlfriend). Then at Survivor Series she could unify the women's titles, and make Charlotte her bitch. And... yes, I spend too much time on this, lol. You may have already thought of, even wrote, something like this, but if not I hope you'll consider it.

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Hello again! Glad you like this one even more.

I actually really like Alexa and so I didn’t really mind her push...for the most part (that Bayley “feud”...yikes!), but I totally understand where you’re coming from (I think I have the unpopular opinion here haha). 

There’s definitely more of this story to come, I promise! I originally had a bit of a different plan, but you mentioning Mickie James switched things up a bit haha, although I kind of put my own twist on your suggestions here.

Per not including ass-to-mouth, it’s a combo of two things: 1) I’m trying to figure out how to write it so it doesn’t just feel too much like repeating the initial lubing of the cock. 2) My initial plan was to not immediately go to ass-to-mouth so when it happened for the first time it would be a big moment. Again, however, I think the next chapter is shifting this plan because...c’mon, it’s Mickie James. You gotta have a little ATM.

Re: Bayley, to kind of explain the rationale behind this, in this story, she is ranked as more dominant than Becky due to their booking at the time. This is a time period where Becky had lost her title without having any clean defenses, and was not too far removed from tapping clean to Natalya and the aforementioned 60 second Dana loss. At this time, Bayley was actually one of Raw’s top stars and in a few months would win the title and also go on to end Charlotte’s PPV streak so I kind of viewed Becky as the more natural bottom because of this. So the ranking in this universe is Becky<Bayley<Sasha<Charlotte.

I actually had considered the idea of Alexa getting Becky to quit wrestling, because that level of brokenness is beyond hot, but even a fictional world in which Becky doesn’t wrestle anymore just depresses me haha. In all seriousness, I’m still definitely considering that plot point although it may not come about immediately next chapter.

Hadn’t considered Evolution in this, although it would bend the timeline I had planned a little bit (December 2016-November 2017).

Finally, without giving too much away, I will say one of the scenarios you’ve listed regarding Alexa & Charlotte is the currently planned ending to the story (kind of..)

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Overall, thanks to both of you for the feedback. Love seeing what other people have to say about these!

-Heyoo

 

 

 

 

 

[MTL]

You're welcome.

Looking forward to your model tops a superior wrestler story, because as you may have noticed, I really enjoy that kind of thing.

Dean Ambrose maybe gone, but everyone's talking about John Moxley. Hopefully AEW does a better job of capitalising on it then say, WCW did with Bret Hart. Or Vince does with anyone from NXT these days. I also hope that the Becky Lynch push continues, as I think she's evolved into the best female all-rounder in the WWE, and I always did like her. As for poor Cesaro, well... at least he gets a chance to shine on UP UP DOWN DOWN once in awhile.

I like Alexa a lot better now she's not beating everyone, and ironically I think she and Bayley are a good fit, but booking made that feud horrendous last time, so hopefully it's better this time. I kind of feel bad about dissing her now, so to make it clear, it's her booking I don't like. But I can't deny she's hot as hell, and can totally fit the role of a Dom.

Did you come up with this new chapter right after I posted my review, or did you just add some things. Because I'd appreciate the latter, but the former is really, really impressive to me, as it takes me ages to write a story. Well, that's partly because I write for multiple genres at a time, but still.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that the new chapter features Mickie, and I'll give it a proper review soon, I just wanted to respond to this.

You make a good point about Bayley. She's just lost so much it's easy to forget she ever won anything prior to this year's MitB.

You could bring Evolution forward, as people 'adjust' canon to their liking all the time in fanfic, but then again you wouldn't need it to include Trish and/or Lita as they can always make a guest appearance. Then again, there are plenty of stories with them already, and they're not who I'm most looking forward too, that being the other horsewomen.

[Heyoo]

10 hours ago, MTL said:

You're welcome.

Looking forward to your model tops a superior wrestler story, because as you may have noticed, I really enjoy that kind of thing.

Dean Ambrose maybe gone, but everyone's talking about John Moxley. Hopefully AEW does a better job of capitalising on it then say, WCW did with Bret Hart. Or Vince does with anyone from NXT these days. I also hope that the Becky Lynch push continues, as I think she's evolved into the best female all-rounder in the WWE, and I always did like her. As for poor Cesaro, well... at least he gets a chance to shine on UP UP DOWN DOWN once in awhile.

I like Alexa a lot better now she's not beating everyone, and ironically I think she and Bayley are a good fit, but booking made that feud horrendous last time, so hopefully it's better this time. I kind of feel bad about dissing her now, so to make it clear, it's her booking I don't like. But I can't deny she's hot as hell, and can totally fit the role of a Dom.

Did you come up with this new chapter right after I posted my review, or did you just add some things. Because I'd appreciate the latter, but the former is really, really impressive to me, as it takes me ages to write a story. Well, that's partly because I write for multiple genres at a time, but still.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that the new chapter features Mickie, and I'll give it a proper review soon, I just wanted to respond to this.

You make a good point about Bayley. She's just lost so much it's easy to forget she ever won anything prior to this year's MitB.

You could bring Evolution forward, as people 'adjust' canon to their liking all the time in fanfic, but then again you wouldn't need it to include Trish and/or Lita as they can always make a guest appearance. Then again, there are plenty of stories with them already, and they're not who I'm most looking forward too, that being the other horsewomen.

Hey,

Glad you’re looking forward to it! Hopefully it pays off, taking kind of a gamble with it because as far as I can tell, there haven’t really been many fics on this site involving at least two of the women in it. 

As of now, AEW actually looks promising. I think the PPV model might turn some people off from that end of it, since it isn’t quite as convenient as only paying $9.99, but I think as far as competition or an alternative is concerned, they’re the biggest threat to come along in a while.

Totally agreed with Becky. Have always found her to be the “total package” of the fourse horsewomen, as she has the in-ring skills, the mic skills (IMO the best mic skills of the four), and just the overall charisma to be a top star as we’re seeing now. (Pray that she holds onto the belt for a while, let her main event more than ‘Mania!)

Trust me, I completely get the annoyance with Alexa’s booking, and I think truth be told, since her push isn’t as egregious now, I may be wearing the rose tinted glasses a bit as there were for sure some entertaining moments, but also a fair share of completely baffling ones (beating Mickie with a KO punch?) I am interested to see what becomes of Bliss/Bayley 2.0, but also a bit nervous, as I fear that they might have Alexa win the title again (which I think would officially be too far) because 1. it would help to deemphasize the brand split even further, which seems to be the direction they wanna go, and 2. it would work to deliver a middle finger to Sasha for sitting on the sidelines, something the ‘E is probably keen to do.

As far as this chapter is concerned, it’s kind of a mix of both. Going in my plan was Alexa going to NXT and topping Liv, and maybe Ember, but after you threw out the Mickie suggestion, I discovered a scenario which I found both hotter and more narratively satisfying. Essentially, everything up to Liv asking to be Alexa’s bitch is from draft one, and everything onward is where I deviated from the original.

Main roster Bayley has been a mess, but it seems like they’re actually rebuilding her now, which would make it even more upsetting if she lost to Alexa.

I honestly really do like the Trish and Lita idea, but am thinking it might work better as a seperate oneshot. 

-Heyoo

 

 

 

 

[MTL]

Any idea when you might post your model tops a superior wrestler story? And you said it was probably going to be a one-shot, but I hope you leave room for more, as I'm big fan of this kind of story.

I've liked most of what I've seen of AEW so far, and I hope they're able to compete with the WWE, because that kind of competition could be good for everyone, including the WWE. Of course, there is a lot that can go wrong on both sides, but like Becky Lynch it's a glimmer of hope.

Logically Bliss/Bayley 2.0 should be about redeeming Bayley by finally letting her beat her former, and maybe current, bully clean in a competitive match which makes both women look good, but when did logic ever matter to WWE booking, lol.

I don't think it matters how they book Bayley as far as Sasha Banks goes though, as I think she is so tired of all the fall starts she's just done with WWE, or more accurately Vince, much like John Moxley is. That's a shame, because in NXT Sasha was by far the best horsewomen IMO, to the point they should have been called the four bosswomen, as her character work and promos were second to none, and people are still talking about that match she had with Bayley, best ever women's match IMO. And they also had a great sequel to that, and there was a horsewomen four-way and a Becky vs Sasha match which I feel have become forgotten gems. But someone, probably Vince, decided they will always have later with Sasha because she's so young, and the second-generation star is the only one that mattered.

On second thoughts, if Bayley wins Sasha will shrug and think it's any matter of time, and if she loses it will just confirm she is in the right to ignore any promises.

Anyway, sorry my attempt to give you feedback has turned into complaining about wrestling on the Internet, but hey, I've been doing that for over 15 years, why stop now?

I'd love you to use my Trish/Lita idea in a one-shot, but I'm looking forward to the model tops a superior wrestler story and especially more from Alexa On Top. BTW, I'm kind of surprised you didn't opt for a pun, like Blissfully On Top, or A Moment Of Anal Bliss.

[Heyoo]

7 hours ago, MTL said:

Any idea when you might post your model tops a superior wrestler story? And you said it was probably going to be a one-shot, but I hope you leave room for more, as I'm big fan of this kind of story.

I've liked most of what I've seen of AEW so far, and I hope they're able to compete with the WWE, because that kind of competition could be good for everyone, including the WWE. Of course, there is a lot that can go wrong on both sides, but like Becky Lynch it's a glimmer of hope.

Logically Bliss/Bayley 2.0 should be about redeeming Bayley by finally letting her beat her former, and maybe current, bully clean in a competitive match which makes both women look good, but when did logic ever matter to WWE booking, lol.

I don't think it matters how they book Bayley as far as Sasha Banks goes though, as I think she is so tired of all the fall starts she's just done with WWE, or more accurately Vince, much like John Moxley is. That's a shame, because in NXT Sasha was by far the best horsewomen IMO, to the point they should have been called the four bosswomen, as her character work and promos were second to none, and people are still talking about that match she had with Bayley, best ever women's match IMO. And they also had a great sequel to that, and there was a horsewomen four-way and a Becky vs Sasha match which I feel have become forgotten gems. But someone, probably Vince, decided they will always have later with Sasha because she's so young, and the second-generation star is the only one that mattered.

On second thoughts, if Bayley wins Sasha will shrug and think it's any matter of time, and if she loses it will just confirm she is in the right to ignore any promises.

Anyway, sorry my attempt to give you feedback has turned into complaining about wrestling on the Internet, but hey, I've been doing that for over 15 years, why stop now?

I'd love you to use my Trish/Lita idea in a one-shot, but I'm looking forward to the model tops a superior wrestler story and especially more from Alexa On Top. BTW, I'm kind of surprised you didn't opt for a pun, like Blissfully On Top, or A Moment Of Anal Bliss.

Hey! Not 100% sure when I’m posting the model topping superior wrestlers story, as right now, I’m struggling a bit with it. I know what I want to have happen in it, but I’m  having issues getting it to translate in writing. I mainly labelled it a one shot just because unlike the Alexa story (or even the other one which I may get back to someday), I have no concrete ideas on where to go with it after this, but I definitely wouldn’t rule out a return if people had requests and suggestions. Either way, I’ll hope you like it when you red...er, um, read it.

It will be interesting to see how AEW fares for sure. It’s smart that they won’t be directly competing at first, I think.

Yeah, hopefully that’s what occurs with this Bayley/Alexa feud. And then maybe Bliss can go to the women’s tag title picture, as it seemed they were building to that anyway, and I like the Nikki Cross pairing (I’m a sucker for out of left field partnerships).

To me, the problem w/ Sasha is that she hasn’t been a heel on the main roster really ever (there was Team B.A.D, but that came and went real fast). Not to get into my controversial opinions here, I guess, but I just really think, like how Becky and Bayley work way better as faces, Charlotte and Sasha work way better as heels, and some of Sasha’s babyface stuff has been...rough. Let her be The Boss! (The actual Boss, not just a name that Michael Cole can shout on commentary)

No worries, I think it’s in our wrestling fan DNA to complain about wrestling.

Now I wish I would’ve used one of those titles haha. It’s mainly called “Alexa On Top” because I couldn’t think of anything, and there’s supposed to be a sorta double meaning in that she’s both on top of SDL, as well as topping the other women, but yeah, it’s kinda...weak.

-Heyoo

[Heyoo]

REVIEW OF “ALEXA ON TOP”

From MTL on June 07, 2019
 

Wow, I'm really impressed with the amount of back story and world building within this chapter. I'm glad you're taking a page out of my book, and to be fair so many others, dipping into other characters thoughts and allowing some of them to be in conflict, and not as confident as they seen, making them seem like three-dimensional characters with a rich history.

And I'm so, so happy you bought Becky back. Honestly how broken she was and all her thoughts might have been my favourite part in a story whcih featured Mickie James getting ass fucked, which is really something. Although this was kind of a double-edged sword of the chapter, as particularly the triple ass fucking was an amazing concept, which seemed to be over with one thrust. Granted, not even an anal veteran like Mickie could realistically be fucked long and hard that way, but there's definitely a happy middle there somewhere. Just a little constructive criticism, as I felt the sex itself was better in the first chapter, even though this is my favourite thing you've written so far, because everything around the sex, was just so amazingly erotic to me.

I'm thrilled that Alexa seem to have made two of my all-time favourites, Becky and Mickie, her permanent bitches, and I love the thought of them getting lead around on collars and leads, but it's going to be tough just walking around if Alexa does that to every woman in the division. Don't get me wrong, it would be incredibly hot, but also kind of silly. Maybe this 'honour' could be saved for her favourite bitches? Or maybe she takes no more than two out at a time like that, just in case they get any ideas about turn the tables on her? Oh, and how you feel about branding? I've read fics, where actual branding irons are used, which I admit I would find hot, but tattooing would work just as well, if not better. Either way, imagine the likes of Becky getting 'Bliss Bitch' tattooed on her arse, or her forehead, or as a tramp stamp.

As much is this fic, and admittedly the last few years of booking, have convinced me Alexa would make a great top I love the fact you revealed she was a bottom before in NXT, and is desperately trying to repress that side of herself in order to be the Alpha female of the WWE. A term I'd be honoured if you used, BTW, even if it wasn't an official title. Anyway, this makes me hope for at least one chapter, or ideally several, where she is getting her perfect little ass reamed, especially if she can then turn the tables on at least some of them.

Oh, and I also hope Paige is included at some point. I think she was injured and taking time off at this point, and while she started out strong in the main roster, particularly NXT (where honestly she peaked) she also lost a lot, so by the logic of this fic surely she must have been AJ Lee's arse whore, and then even worse, Nikki Bella's, making her an easy conquest for Alexa. BTW, I know AJ Lee was gone at this point, but I'm a huge fan of her, so what if in the story she was the Bella Twins's Bitch and Alexa tried to steal her away? I mean, I hated the Bella Twins with a passion, and they were booked strong so infuriatingly consistently that I couldn't bring myself to write about them topping anyone, but I have to admit, I would find that incredibly hot as it totally fits my fetish for models topping wrestlers.

I think Liv Morgan is underrated, both as a wrestler and as a hottie with an incredible ass, so I'd welcome a chapter with her, although not quite as much as the possible inclusion of some of the other women mentioned above.

Anyway, back to the review. Love Alexa bossing the NXT 'rookies' around, and they're various reactions to her, the extreme of posting kind of stuff online and the reaction to it, and that cryptic message to Alexa at the end. God, I'm so looking forward to finding out who sent it.

And kudos on making the first ass to mouth really mean something. I hadn't thought of that, and that's a great twist on the norm.

Finally, thanks again for including Mickie in this. Again, she's one of my favourites, and the thought of having her not only be a wrestling veteran, but a submissive veteran who has bottomed to pretty much every woman that crossed paths with her is just perfect to me. Especially that her first top was Trish, as I shipped them so hard it got me into writing fan fiction in the first place. So it figures she has a thing for blondes. I wonder if she'll get to meet Charlotte in this fic? Because again, while her being booked over everyone else at all times frustrates me, the idea of Charlotte being the greatest Dom in the history of the WWE without a hint of submission in her is hella hot.

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Thank you so much! I always find it hotter when the characters have depth, although that’s not to say PWP has no merits (hell, my “Hart & Fire” Story IS PWP). 

Glad you like the Becky stuff. It’s really a lot of fun to write, as I really like her as a sub.

Yeah, I really wanted to get this posted, and I think in retrospect, I should have taken a couple more days to ensure the sex descriptions were up to snuff. I also think a pitfall is I’m still learning how to write sex acts w/multiple ppl, as one on one is way easier for me to write.

As far as Becky and Mickie are concerned, I realize now it came across this way since I had them both sleeping at the foot of the bed, but I don’t necessarily plan for Mickie to be on a leash in this fic. I think that’ll mainly be reserved for the horsewomen.

I’m kind of...indifferent to branding I guess? It’s an area I haven’t really explored a lot. I’ll have to check it out more.

Thanks for the permission to use alpha female! It was getting hard figuring out what to refer to Alexa as, and I wanted to use it, but I didn’t want to steal it.

It’s funny you mention PaiJ Lee, as there are plans for both of them to be in this fic (a little closer to the end, however). I suppose logic should dictate at least Paige as a bottom, although, and not trying to completely copy or anything, the Paige/AJ relationship I envisioned for this fic is closer to how you wrote it in “The Harder They Fall” than “This Is My Ass Now”. However, I didn’t consider the Bellas connection until now...interesting :-)

Liv is def underrated, hope they use her sometime on SDL.

I’m afraid I might have built the mystery of the sender up too much haha. It’s not exactly a big twist.

Yeah, my goal is for each chapter to build on each other, we’ll see how I do with that. I kind of retroactively regret doing a moresome so early in this story. As you saw, I cheated a little with some brief ATM in this chapter, but I still wanted to try to preserve some of it, so that it’s kind of a “wow” moment.

Of course! Mickie is awesome and I think that suggestion helped my story! Didn’t consider the Charlotte angle either. That’s most likely an inevitability now.

 

 

 

[MTL]

The problem with Sasha was that match with Bayley was so good it accidentally turned her face, which wasn't the plan. Especially with hindsight I'm 100% convinced Charlotte was always supposed to be the star of the show, roll into WM the face and win the new women's championship. Maybe by beating Sasha and Becky, but those two were just good hands, never meant to outshine Ric Flair's daughter. But the reaction to Sasha was so consistent they turned her face, but it was a half measure. They should have gone all in with her as a baby face champion by letting her beat Charlotte, but that year Vince wasn't going to change his plans for anyone.

Sasha kind of worked as a face because she had earned so much respect, but much like Charlotte she was born to be heel. At WM32 Sasha was the best candidate to be the face, but the plan should have always been to turn her heel as that's what she excels at, but it's crystal clear the WWE, or probably just Vince, didn't have a solid plan for that. Vince doesn't watch NXT, so I kind of get it, she was getting good reactions as a face, so why turn her? Because as a result he just wasn't getting the best out of her, meaning we weren't getting the best out of her, and she wasn't getting the best out of herself, which she definitely knows.

Anyway, come to think of it I actually hope you consider a tramp stamp, because then Becky could be wrestling with visible proof that she belongs to Alexa. I mean, even though there's video footage you know a lot of people would be on the Internet screaming that it's fake, but if live on TV there was further evidence it would really hammer the point home, and humiliate Becky.

As far as AJ/Paige goes, fair enough, but I'm just really invested in the idea of Paige being a super top in NXT then a total bottom on the main roster. Like a reverse Alexa, if you will. But whatever you do with them, I look forward to it, as they're two of my favourites. And yes, I have a lot of favourites, lol.

From the way you set it up, and considering she was the RAW champion at the time, Charlotte would almost definitely be the Alpha female. Although you could make it Nikki Bella as a plot twist. Either way, the Alpha could remind Mickie, Becky, and any other conquest of Alexa that they technically still belong to her, something which particularly easy with the first two, given Mickie's love for blondes, and it seems Becky is still at least a little bit in love with Charlotte. Hell, all Charlotte would have to do is tell Becky she wants her back, or just smile at her, and this Becky would probably bend over.

 

[Heyoo]

3 hours ago, MTL said:

The problem with Sasha was that match with Bayley was so good it accidentally turned her face, which wasn't the plan. Especially with hindsight I'm 100% convinced Charlotte was always supposed to be the star of the show, roll into WM the face and win the new women's championship. Maybe by beating Sasha and Becky, but those two were just good hands, never meant to outshine Ric Flair's daughter. But the reaction to Sasha was so consistent they turned her face, but it was a half measure. They should have gone all in with her as a baby face champion by letting her beat Charlotte, but that year Vince wasn't going to change his plans for anyone.

Sasha kind of worked as a face because she had earned so much respect, but much like Charlotte she was born to be heel. At WM32 Sasha was the best candidate to be the face, but the plan should have always been to turn her heel as that's what she excels at, but it's crystal clear the WWE, or probably just Vince, didn't have a solid plan for that. Vince doesn't watch NXT, so I kind of get it, she was getting good reactions as a face, so why turn her? Because as a result he just wasn't getting the best out of her, meaning we weren't getting the best out of her, and she wasn't getting the best out of herself, which she definitely knows.

Anyway, come to think of it I actually hope you consider a tramp stamp, because then Becky could be wrestling with visible proof that she belongs to Alexa. I mean, even though there's video footage you know a lot of people would be on the Internet screaming that it's fake, but if live on TV there was further evidence it would really hammer the point home, and humiliate Becky.

As far as AJ/Paige goes, fair enough, but I'm just really invested in the idea of Paige being a super top in NXT then a total bottom on the main roster. Like a reverse Alexa, if you will. But whatever you do with them, I look forward to it, as they're two of my favourites. And yes, I have a lot of favourites, lol.

From the way you set it up, and considering she was the RAW champion at the time, Charlotte would almost definitely be the Alpha female. Although you could make it Nikki Bella as a plot twist. Either way, the Alpha could remind Mickie, Becky, and any other conquest of Alexa that they technically still belong to her, something which particularly easy with the first two, given Mickie's love for blondes, and it seems Becky is still at least a little bit in love with Charlotte. Hell, all Charlotte would have to do is tell Becky she wants her back, or just smile at her, and this Becky would probably bend over.

 

Yeah, it would be really hard I suppose not to turn face after that Bayley match. I think maybe some of my Sasha babyface resentment stems from my Becky bias, because I felt, based on the story they were telling with her and Charlotte at the time, it would’ve been awesome if Becky would’ve won the Mania Triple Threat and got her revenge (although she obviously wasn’t going to, and she probably shouldn’t have, since Sasha WAS the hotter act at the time, and if Becky won, the crowd might have turned on her. Charlotte def. shouldn’t have won that match though, especially by making Becky tap. But my Becky booking rants could fill an entire post. At least they’re doing right by her now. Also sorry that this has devolved into me talking all about Becky haha that’s kind of what happens when I get into conversations about the horsewomen.)

I do like the tramp stamp idea a lot. If I can work it into the next chapter somehow I definitely will. 

I definitely love bottom Paige too! I’m not 100% married to my current PaiJ idea so we’ll see.

Charlotte is def the RAW alpha, while Alexa is the SDL one (and obviously the roles will switch once they switch brands). While I haven’t completely decided how/if I’ll integrate Charlotte/Mickie in this, there will def be some Charlotte/Becky soon. Let’s just say your assertion that there’s some love still there is an accurate one.

 

[MTL]

Admittedly, the second brand split was new at this stage, but was there a Smackdown Alpha before Alexa? Was Becky trying to convince everyone she was the new Alpha female Smackdown, even if she didn't butt fuck anyone? Or did Nikki Bella assume that was her position, and she just didn't make a fuss about it, leading to a confrontation? Just a thought, which admittedly might be too late in the game to add in.

Any idea when you're next story will be done?

[MTL]

This part will probably be deleted, and if this is against the rules I'm sorry but in the name of helping out a new writer, other places you can post are literotica.com, celebritystorysite.com and archiveofourown.org.

[Heyoo]

35 minutes ago, MTL said:

Admittedly, the second brand split was new at this stage, but was there a Smackdown Alpha before Alexa? Was Becky trying to convince everyone she was the new Alpha female Smackdown, even if she didn't butt fuck anyone? Or did Nikki Bella assume that was her position, and she just didn't make a fuss about it, leading to a confrontation? Just a thought, which admittedly might be too late in the game to add in.

Any idea when you're next story will be done?

Actually, it’s kind of a combo of both of those ideas. After Becky won the title, she tried to assume the role, but everyone (including her) knew Nikki was the true alpha. But neither one of them really made as much of a show of it as Alexa. Idk though if this will really be mentioned a ton in the story, it’s just kinda the back story I created in my head.

Idk when the Eva/Toni fic will be done. I’ve fallen into the trap of concurrently working on that and ch. 3 of “Alexa”, so I’m gonna work to just stick to only one for now and then go back to the other.

Also, thank you for the site suggestions!

 

Edited June 8, 2019 by Heyoo

[MTL]

Cool. Hope this means a bigger confrontation with Nikki Bella is on the horizon for Alexa, because as I said, I hate the Bellas, but the idea of getting some of Nikki's POV in which she remembers butt fucking women with actual talent would be hot.

[Heyoo]

26 minutes ago, MTL said:

Cool. Hope this means a bigger confrontation with Nikki Bella is on the horizon for Alexa, because as I said, I hate the Bellas, but the idea of getting some of Nikki's POV in which she remembers butt fucking women with actual talent would be hot.

Tbh, I hadn’t planned on a HUGE Nikki confrontation but there will definitely be something in the coming chapters.

 

[MTL]

Cool. As I think I already broke a rule might as well go all in and promote my patreon, patreon.com/MTL17, just in case you'd like to consider getting a commission from me. Also if you want talk directly my email is mtl_17.feedback@yahoo.co.uk

[Heyoo]

42 minutes ago, MTL said:

Cool. As I think I already broke a rule might as well go all in and promote my patreon, patreon.com/MTL17, just in case you'd like to consider getting a commission from me. Also if you want talk directly my email is mtl_17.feedback@yahoo.co.uk

Ok, awesome!!

[Heyoo]

REVIEW OF “ALL RED RETURNS”

From MTL on June 11, 2019
 

Again loved the dirty talk and everything surrounding the sex. And to be fair, some of the sex acts were fine here, like the spanking. I thought that was a decent length. But then there was the cowgirl, which was only a couple of lines. I would have really liked to hear about how Tori's entire body was aching, especially her gaping butt hole, and it was painful to move, but she did so out of pure adrenaline and need to cum. Then re-stuffing her ass and building up a rhythm. And her thoughts during it. Just little things which would extend the sex, and make your stories perfect IMO. But they're pretty close to perfection anyway IMO, and I really hope you keep it up.

Maybe part of the problem is basically by the end you were just rushing to get it over with? Because I know the feeling, and I definitely relate to not being happy with a story. But just remember, we're easily our own worst critics, and give yourself a break. After all, this is just meant to be a bit of fun, right?

As mentioned I'm a big fan of models topping wrestlers, and I felt this was a great example of why, as the humiliation Toni Storm felt submitting to Eva Marie was soooooo hot! Even though I'm not that familiar with Toni. I mean, I saw NXT Blackpool and was impressed with what I saw from her, and she certainly is hot with a great ass, but for some reason I just can't find the time to watch NXT UK. It's on my to-do list, but I never seem to get around to it. I don't know, maybe I'm just burnt out with wrestling at this point. I've seen way too much of Eva Marie, both on NXT and the main roster, and I would love to see more of her topping wrestlers. Admittedly, between the two would like to see the Alexa story continued more, but you can continue this and make it different from that.

My favourite part of the story was Eva showing Toni that footage on her phone, and you could easily do a couple of chapters of Eva staring at them and flashing back to how she conquered those women. Or she could tell Toni all about it as her new pet kisses her feet. It could even be all from Eva's perspective. I would hate to lose the perspective of her victim, but it would make it different from the Alexa story. Alternatively, to make it really different, you could have chapters of Eva playing with her already broken bitches in turn, may be introducing Toni to them and making them tell the story of how they got here while Eva ass fucks them.

Also, if Eva is returning, does that mean she was the Alpha female, and in her absence some of her former bitches have rediscovered their dominance and need to be broken again? Easy to do with all that blackmail material she has, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be fun. Especially if she brings along some of her bitches who stayed loyal to help, like AJ, Paige and Emma. Then of course, what about the possibility of Charlotte being the one that got away? Or maybe it was someone were not expecting to be able to survive? Either way, Eva hatches a plan to finally get them, and if it is Charlotte, it can involve the other horsewomen.

*******************************************

Thanks for the review!

I think you’re right on the money as far as rushing to the end. I know that I’m super close to posting it so I just want it to be done, but obviously that hurts the story as a result. I’ll hopefully be more patient going forward. And yeah, sometimes I beat myself up a bit when a story isn’t going how I want it to. I really wanna get these posted but I think I’m gonna slow things down a bit for now.

Not a huge NXT UK follower myself, although every once in a while I’ll see what’s going on since I’m semi familiar w/ some of the talent due to their indies work.  Mainly discovered Toni through the MYC and have tried to follow whatever she’s up to WWE or otherwise. It’s definitely really easy to get burnt out on wrestling—there’s just so much! Glad you like the Alexa fic more, because that’s probably the fic I’m gonna focus on the most. I really like your suggestions for future chapters of this though!

I don’t know if Eva was the overall “Alpha” per say but she was a top, and if this story continue, she is definitely going to try to become the Alpha. Not 100% sure if I’ll incorporate the Charlotte angle or not, mainly since kind of the whole crux of the Alexa story is her journey to Charlotte. However, if I wrote more of this, I’d definitely want to incorporate some horsewomen. (An Eva/Sasha chapter seems really hot in particular.)

-Heyoo

 

[MTL]

Make sense not to use Charlotte again as the main rival, but does Eva need one? What if Nikki Bella had been the Alpha the whole time while Eva had been there originally, and they were cool with each other, because they were both models, and they were constantly sub swapping or double teaming the wrestlers? But now the Bellas are gone there is now no one to keep the wrestlers in line, so Eva decides it's finally time for her to become the Alpha. Also just because she had all those pictures on her phone doesn't mean she owned any of those women, except AJ Lee obviously. But Paige, Nattie and the horsewomen could have all belong to The Bellas. Maybe AJ was even a hand me down, a way to humiliate her even further by trading her, or just giving her away.

That would be very different.

Or maybe Sasha was the one that got away?

Either way with the success she's had lately maybe Becky is trying to be a top now, and is even the Alpha. Partly because Sasha is gone, and the rest of the roster is filled with previously broken bitches, making them easy to conquer.

[Heyoo]

5 hours ago, MTL said:

Make sense not to use Charlotte again as the main rival, but does Eva need one? What if Nikki Bella had been the Alpha the whole time while Eva had been there originally, and they were cool with each other, because they were both models, and they were constantly sub swapping or double teaming the wrestlers? But now the Bellas are gone there is now no one to keep the wrestlers in line, so Eva decides it's finally time for her to become the Alpha. Also just because she had all those pictures on her phone doesn't mean she owned any of those women, except AJ Lee obviously. But Paige, Nattie and the horsewomen could have all belong to The Bellas. Maybe AJ was even a hand me down, a way to humiliate her even further by trading her, or just giving her away.

That would be very different.

Or maybe Sasha was the one that got away?

Either way with the success she's had lately maybe Becky is trying to be a top now, and is even the Alpha. Partly because Sasha is gone, and the rest of the roster is filled with previously broken bitches, making them easy to conquer.

Yeah the Bellas/Eva understanding is kind of what I had in the back of my head. This also kinda works since (as of now), Nikki’s last match would be at Evolution, which lines up with the timeline, and means her role would need to be filled.

Can’t decide if Sasha’s the one who got away or someone who had been with Eva previously. Which would be hotter?

At this point in time, Becky is a switch who prefers to top (and she’s definitely trying to become the Alpha), while Charlotte is still the true SDL Alpha. Meanwhile, Rousey’s the Alpha on the RAW side of things.

 

 

[MTL]

It hasn't been that long, but I can't resist asking, do you have any idea when you might post something again?

[Heyoo]

31 minutes ago, MTL said:

It hasn't been that long, but I can't resist asking, do you have any idea when you might post something again?

Hey, thanks for checking in!

I’m not 100% sure. Currently I’ve started both Chapter 3 of the Alexa fic and a non WWE fic and I just don’t have a ton of motivation to work on either one for whatever reason. 

Per the Alexa fic, it probably doesn’t help that my interest in the ‘E is waning a but. The fact that they have one of the best male wrestlers today and one of the best female wrestlers today and their grand plan is to put them in countless matches with Baron Corbin and Lacey Evans isn’t really sitting right with me, nor is the fact that their current “final boss” is a 50 year old non-wrestler who can’t heel properly.

All that complaining aside, I do hope to return soon!

[MTL]

I know what you mean. I quit watching the main roster for about two years because the booking was so bad, and now I'm right back to just watching NXT.

I'm curious what your non WWE fic is, but I understand if you'd rather not say.

[Heyoo]

1 hour ago, MTL said:

I know what you mean. I quit watching the main roster for about two years because the booking was so bad, and now I'm right back to just watching NXT.

I'm curious what your non WWE fic is, but I understand if you'd rather not say.

I really need to get back to NXT soon! It’s embarassing to admit but I think the last time I watched regularly Asuka was champ, and the last Takeover I watched was Gargano-Ciampa III. Wednesdays are just a busy night and I always wanna go back and watch but I have way too much on my watchlist haha. Anything cool happening right now? Cole is champ, right? 

Funnily enough, my non WWE fic is also a show that has turned a lot of people away due to its illogical storylines and mishandling of characters—Riverdale.

[MTL]

Yeah, but you don't have to watch it on Wednesdays, lol. Yeah, Cole is the champ, and NXT continues to be the most consistently good wrestling show IMO.

I know what you mean. I enjoyed the first season of Riverdale, especially the first half, when it almost like they would put Betty and Veronica together, but after that it's been tough to watch. Hope you find the inspiration to finish a story for that, or something. Any hints of what the Riverdale story would be?

[Heyoo]

57 minutes ago, MTL said:

Yeah, but you don't have to watch it on Wednesdays, lol. Yeah, Cole is the champ, and NXT continues to be the most consistently good wrestling show IMO.

I know what you mean. I enjoyed the first season of Riverdale, especially the first half, when it almost like they would put Betty and Veronica together, but after that it's been tough to watch. Hope you find the inspiration to finish a story for that, or something. Any hints of what the Riverdale story would be?

I know, I know haha. I always want to go back and check it out but just haven’t. I think I will tonight, especially after reading the Io vs. Shayna spoilers. 

Season 1 was cool because it seemed like they had everything mapped out from the get go. In season 2, the showrunner himself has admitted that they had like 3 different options for the Black Hood in mind, which already means certain clues and details and stuff are meaningless. I actually kind of liked season 3 just because it was so batshit insane it went back around to being entertaining IMO.

It’s a Beronica fic. If it evolves beyond a one-shot, there might be some Cheronica thrown in as well. 

[MTL]

Cool, love me some Beronica.