Arian-Sinclair Posted January 25, 2018 Report Posted January 25, 2018 (edited) Just Under the Surface takes place in the Undertale AU called Horrortale. It is mainly in first person narrative and each chapter is divided into scenes that allow smoother switches between time frames and POV. This is where I shall respond to reviews to Just Under the Surface as well as keep a neat list of chapters(links to chapters provided) up to date. This post shall be updated with each new chapter as well as keep record of the date each chapter was originally posted. Chapter List: Chapter 1 - 18 January, 2018 Chapter 2 - 19 January, 2018 Chapter 3 - 23 January, 2018 Chapter 4 - WIP, on hiatus Edited May 28, 2018 by Arian-Sinclair Quote
Arian-Sinclair Posted January 27, 2018 Author Report Posted January 27, 2018 Quote From MkSlave on January 27, 2018 Wow. I have so many positive things to say about your protagonist! She's so unique and a refreshing change from the typical females we see on here. I love her masochistic and, at times, sociopathic personality. I love how she reacts to situations in a way that is so unlikely, yet you MAKE it work perfectly. She's super entertaining. Is it weird that the skeleton is strangely attractive, by the way? Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I find it a nice change to have a female character who is not of the typical variety written into fanfiction, even if it's my own writing. I'm glad you like it so much. I never contemplated whether to write it in first or third person POV. I normally write in third, yet this one ended up coming out in first person perspective. She's intentionally sociopathic and is a bit of a yandere(I'll provide a link to the wiki explaining it if you do not know the word) for Kaori, who is actually my favourite character created for this. For Kenmal and Darren, I intend to write a separate story that plays a a prequel focusing on them and how they got together, so when I have that one up, I hope you like it as well if you decide to read it. No, not at all. I find the skelly attractive as well. Heh~ Again, thank you for the review! Feel free to reply here in this thread if you wish to continue conversation, or shoot me a PM. If you're unable to do that, you can find me on Messenger or Skype. Quote
Arian-Sinclair Posted February 1, 2018 Author Report Posted February 1, 2018 Quote From Wilde_Guess on January 31, 2018 The story is very well written. While I am not familiar with the game this story is inspired by, the story explains itself as it goes, at least somewhat. Having the group walk over half a mile into a cave is counterintuitive at first, but "group mentality'" can do this. Your character in Chapter 3 doesn't seem the type physically. Thanks for the review. I'm glad you seem to like it so far. And the story explaining itself somewhat as it goes is a good thing in my opinion because info dumps are boring to read to most and things being explained gradually throughout keeps a tinge of mystery to it. And yes, I attribute that hiking into a cave as herd mentality (as I call it) because people will do things like that. Would you mind explaining what it is that you find she wouldn't be the type physically? Wilde_Guess 1 Quote
Wilde_Guess Posted February 1, 2018 Report Posted February 1, 2018 10 hours ago, Arian-Sinclair said: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you seem to like it so far. And the story explaining itself somewhat as it goes is a good thing in my opinion because info dumps are boring to read to most and things being explained gradually throughout keeps a tinge of mystery to it. And yes, I attribute that hiking into a cave as herd mentality (as I call it) because people will do things like that. Would you mind explaining what it is that you find she wouldn't be the type physically? Not the protagonist, the “character” the protagonist encounters. However, if the “character” wasn’t a murderous thug among other things, he will never get “soft” for the protagonist, and she did say she thought the character attractive before the actual nature of their encounter became clear.. Quote
Arian-Sinclair Posted February 2, 2018 Author Report Posted February 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Wilde_Guess said: Not the protagonist, the “character” the protagonist encounters. However, if the “character” wasn’t a murderous thug among other things, he will never get “soft” for the protagonist, and she did say she thought the character attractive before the actual nature of their encounter became clear.. Ah! Now I see what you meant. It's kind of a fanon thing. Just Google "Sans NSFW" and you'll see some pretty interesting images. He didn't exactly go soft on her, more along the lines of "Oh, look! This little thing is really amusing! Let's keep it around so I'm not bored until I finally get bored with it!" On top of that, the fact that she has a tail caught his interest, so that gave him a bit of pause on killing her. Plus, y'know, plot armour is going to protect the main protagonist until it's time to end things, so yeah. There's that. Now keeping her around for too long might result in him eventually, gradually growing a little soft on her and actually begin to see her as an actual person, but that depends on how things turn out as the story progresses because I have yet to decide whether I'll have him grow bored of her. As for my protagonist, the attraction never faded, it's just circumstantial and her mind is just "Let's see how much shit I can get away with before that shit hits the fan!" on the daily. She's attracted to him, but she's also still just straight up obsessed with Kaori. Well, her mind is just a weird place to begin with. I'm not sure how else to explain that, really. Maybe one of the next chapters will help with that, maybe not. I'm still working on things. Let's just say a whole bunch of weirdness factors into a lot of this. I hope you're able to get something out of my word soup of an explanation. I appreciate the input. Wilde_Guess 1 Quote
Wilde_Guess Posted February 2, 2018 Report Posted February 2, 2018 I meant “soft’ in a purely “biomechanical” manner, not emotionally. The exact nature of their encounter would tend to turn most people off, no matter the physical attraction. Besides, he’d be a horrible date for her. She could never take him to a bar, because beer goes right through him! Okay, ducking and running now... Quote
Arian-Sinclair Posted February 2, 2018 Author Report Posted February 2, 2018 2 hours ago, Wilde_Guess said: I meant “soft’ in a purely “biomechanical” manner, not emotionally. The exact nature of their encounter would tend to turn most people off, no matter the physical attraction. Besides, he’d be a horrible date for her. She could never take him to a bar, because beer goes right through him! Okay, ducking and running now... I see. She's definitely not like most people. XD Wait! Don't run! That was just punderful! I would say more of a horrorble date. She isn't much the "go on a date" type, anyhow. She's more "skip the date and whatever happens just happens". She's aromantic pansexual, so going on a date and any little romantic gesture stuff goes over her head. Do not ask her for dating advice. XD Wilde_Guess 1 Quote
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