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Posted

Hello and welcome to the review (and comments) reply thread for my new original fiction, "Waterlogged: Making Waves."

This will be the evolving story of my new OCs, Piper and her Uncle Jim, as they explore the intriguing world of water sports!

First, read the story here: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108043

Now go crazy with reviews, comments, potshots, brickbats, complaints or words of praise in this thread!

Thanks for reading!

Posted (edited)

The honor of the first comment goes to member Star...

Star 2016-01-03 id # 3000230179 I'm surprised he didn't try to bang her. Wish he would have!

Believe me, Jim was tempted... And you'll have to believe me because I neglected to put any mention of that in the story itself!

Regardless of whether the temptation was mentioned, it was never going to happen right there, under those circumstances. But this is an ongoing story, and the idea will DEFINITELY be addressed in a definitive way in future chapters. I hope you will stick with it.

Edited by NecroNOMNOMicon
Posted

The second review is also from a registered member -- outstanding!

Mona Thompson mona.thompson@hotmail.com 2016-01-05 id # 3000230200 Hoping this keeps going...I was really hoping he was going to bend her over or atleast get a BJ...hopefully in an update♥

Hmmm, I'm sensing a groundswell of support for Piper and Uncle Jim to get closer! I wonder if it will happen... :think:

  • 1 month later...
Posted

The next review comes from the esteemed CL.Mustafic, who writes:


Okay so I have to admit I read this out of curiosity because I have to write a scene where one of my characters witnesses an act similar to the one in the first chapter.
1. It's sorta gross and I don't get it. (This has no bearing on anything just wanted to say it because this is the second story of yours that squicked me out but I still went on to read the next chapter like an idiot.)
2. In the second chapter a couple of things threw me but the biggest one was: Why would anyone (especially someone so young) begged to be fucked in the cervix? Ask most women and they'll tell you it can actually be quite painful, so begging for it seems a bit unrealistic (I know it's porn but just had to say it.)
Anyway, that's my two cents and I'll probably read the next chapter for reasons I myself cannot explain. Keep up the soggy work!
CL

Let's see if I can adequately address these points..

1. Not to sound like a cop-out, but "Different strokes for Different Folks." Some people enjoy the idea, while some people don't -- and both opinion are merely that: opinions. Neither is right or wrong. It sounds like an exciting situation to me, so I write about it. Just as an example, I hate smoking, and cannot imagine finding smoking sexy, but plenty of people do. Oh, well. I am glad you are able to work past your discomfort and continue reading!

Perhaps your character might try to understand why someone else might be turned on by such a different kink -- and maybe even begin to question his/her own kinks as a result?

2. Bravo for noticing what I was at least trying to do with Piper's cervix line -- but I guess I didn't carry it off entirely. Piper was just saying stuff she thought her uncle might want to hear -- maybe stuff she heard in a porno but didn't understand. Yes, getting bumped in the cervix is painful (at least, that's what I've heard from women; I have no idea) so this was a case of Piper literally not knowing what she was talking about. I was trying to imply that she is sexually somewhat inexperienced but trying to sound like a sex kitten.

3. I hope you do read the next chapter -- because you're just cool like that!

-Necro :Eye:

  • 1 month later...
Posted

I have received a new comment, this one from a disappointed reader, but it's not actually about "Waterlogged." This particular Anon writes:

Anon 2016-04-01 id # 3000231233 Disappointed Quinn's story seems to be on indefinite hiatus. I don't hang around this site much anymore since all the authors I followed have either disappeared with their stories or just dropped off radar and haven't updated in over two years. Good luck with this and any other stories you write.

Well, Anon, no one is more disappointed than I am about "The Chronicles of Quinn Kane" having fallen by the wayside, believe me! But please do not think it has been abandoned! It's not on indefinite hiatus. To paraphrase Miracle Max, it's only "mostly on hiatus."

And I fully intend to do something about it! I have the outline of the new chapter in my head -- I just need time to write it down. And I have a feeling that particular time is coming soon. Don't quote me, but I feel like the next chapter of TCoQK will be updated sooner rather than later! I have no intention of letting the story log a year without an update (and we're still a few months away from that point)...

BTW, have you been reading "Waterlogged" at all?

- Necro :Eye:

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