Shinju Posted May 26, 2008 Report Posted May 26, 2008 This game is simple. Pretend you are giving a toddler a completely fake talk about "the birds and the bees" For example: Mommy said I was born under a cabbage leaf and the stork picked me out and brought me to their door step in a bassinet. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted May 26, 2008 Report Posted May 26, 2008 My mom made up this weird story about boys sticking their penises into girls private parts and babies falling out... Quote
FairyNiamh Posted May 26, 2008 Report Posted May 26, 2008 *Child* #Father# ~Mother~ 'Thoughts' "Speaking" *"Dada where do babies come from?"* #'Oh shit, fuck, and damnation... how the hell do I amswer THAT'# *"Dada... did you hear me?"* #"Yes dear, I was just thinking... I don't know where they come from.... but I bet mommy knows!"# *"OK"* #Happily watches toddler run off to unsuspecting wife# (Can we say dog house? Yes we can!) *"Mama, Dada said you knew where babies come from."* ~'Note to self, kill husband... or maybe trade him in for a cat.'~ *"Mama..."* ~"Well dear... you see...ummm"~ *'I wonder why Mama is muttering about cats and Dada.'* ~"Yes that's it, there is a special seed that only Mommies can buy at the store."~ *"A seed? Can I get one?"* ~"Not until you are much much older dear."~ *"Nessa has 2 daddies... is there a Daddy seed as well?"* ~'Oh how I wish there was!' "I don't know dear."~ *"Why don't you know?"* ~"Because only daddies know about that. You should go ask Dada" 'Ha take that you evil husband!'~ (And now I am running away) Quote
Guest Monsterking Posted May 26, 2008 Report Posted May 26, 2008 Remember The Calvin And Hobbes Strip Where Calvins Dad told Calvin That He Was From Sears? That Was An Classic Quote
Guest Zyx Posted May 26, 2008 Report Posted May 26, 2008 Remember how you never post on topic??? that wasn't that awesome... Babies come from the microwaved remains of liposuction Quote
Shinju Posted May 27, 2008 Author Report Posted May 27, 2008 Babies are brought by the milkman. That's why they always say you look like him. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted May 27, 2008 Report Posted May 27, 2008 Babies come forth from the shadows when the screams of dying days are to be heard. Quote
maidenhair Posted May 28, 2008 Report Posted May 28, 2008 Babies come forth from the shadows when the screams of dying days are to be heard. Interesting! I'm inclined to agree! lol Babies come from the used baby lot. New ones are impossible to come by but exchanges are common, especially with the unruly toddler types! Quote
Shinju Posted May 28, 2008 Author Report Posted May 28, 2008 Babies are ordered online, and come to life when you sprinkle them with water. Quote
maidenhair Posted May 28, 2008 Report Posted May 28, 2008 Babies drag themselves out from the depths of darkness and despair to wreck havoc upon the world! Quote
Shinju Posted May 28, 2008 Author Report Posted May 28, 2008 Babies come from baby trees. You grow a baby tree by planting a baby. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted May 28, 2008 Report Posted May 28, 2008 when two babies love each other very much they can make an adult together, the adult will then grow up to be a baby and have it's own adults Quote
maidenhair Posted May 28, 2008 Report Posted May 28, 2008 Babies are the end result of the magic created when the sound of pure, joyful laughter is released out into the universe. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted May 28, 2008 Report Posted May 28, 2008 when two potatoes hate eachother very much, they round up some other potatoes and go to war. they build babies as weapons. Quote
Shinju Posted May 29, 2008 Author Report Posted May 29, 2008 The diaper companies invented babies in order to sell their product. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted May 29, 2008 Report Posted May 29, 2008 I should do that with my nailhair-razors.... Babies come from the forests of nailhair Quote
maidenhair Posted June 1, 2008 Report Posted June 1, 2008 When a woman swallows a watermelon seed, it grows inside her and *POOF*....it's a baby! Quote
Shinju Posted June 1, 2008 Author Report Posted June 1, 2008 ^^ Heh heh, watermelon seed, that's a good one. Babies are made when two adults get very, very drunk. Quote
maidenhair Posted June 1, 2008 Report Posted June 1, 2008 Babies are made when said adults above get very stupid and horny as well as drunk! Quote
Shinju Posted June 2, 2008 Author Report Posted June 2, 2008 Babies are made from paper-maché. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted June 2, 2008 Report Posted June 2, 2008 God creates babies when he doesn't want to see two people do it any more Quote
Shinju Posted June 3, 2008 Author Report Posted June 3, 2008 It's all about the birds and the bees. The bees take the pollen from the flower, the bird eats the bee and then poops out a baby. That didn't make much sense . . . Quote
maidenhair Posted June 3, 2008 Report Posted June 3, 2008 It's all about the birds and bees...the sweet sounding, brightly colored bird distracts women while the bee flies up and BAM! Stings them! They swell up and pop out a baby! (I know it's weak! LOL) Quote
Shinju Posted June 4, 2008 Author Report Posted June 4, 2008 Babies are bought at the grocer-mart. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted June 4, 2008 Report Posted June 4, 2008 babies come from rifts in spacetime creating deformed copies of people same thing for michael jackson Quote
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