Lights Feedback

[CloverReef]

Welcome! This thread is to answer questions and respond to reviews on my M/M original story:

*Update* This story is on hiatus. (More details on the review replies post for chapter 6.)

Lights

Here's a quick summary:

Harley's used to complications. For starters, his best friend is his ex's mother and that ex is in prison. But then frightening, unnatural things start to happen that take his complicated life to a whole new level. AFFO, M/M, Oral, SH, Violence, WIP

Thank you guys for your reviews:

Anon, Rukia Isaioi, Wolfluv, Anise, Reeciez, KC, Sasa, Fran Rie, Kew,

Okay, let's get started!

Chapter 2: Like Floating - Review Responses:

Finding this story awesome so far!!! Can't wait 4 a duo 2 be revealed, alien creature or man. Teeheehee. So excited 4 nxt update. Keep up the awesome work!!! Would like mor backgrounds of the trailer park/art collecter/bible thumper family. Lots of potential ther

Rukia Isaioi: Thank you Rukia! I love your enthusiasm. More background on the Taylor family is a good idea. I'll see what I can do about that - thanks

WOW intense and creepy YOU'RE OFF TO A GREAT START! Thank YOU for sharing! read ya laters!!

Wolfluv: Creepy? Aw, you shouldn't have. You're making me blush, you ol' charmer, you. Thank you wolfluv!

(2) I knew I was drawn to your name for a reason, as soon as I started reading I remembered exactly who you were^^ It's nice to see you again I'm a little unsure since I know your penchant for supernatural but my curiosity usually always wins out and now that I've started I won't be able to stop reading

I already like your characters, Jasmine and Harley are really great. Having to deal with the fallout of Dante being in jail and for such a horrible crime makes for an interesting story but add to that the whole 'aliens in the forest' and that's just a whole other level of craziness to deal with^^ I wasn't expecting aliens but then I did come into this expecting trolls in the basement or banshees in the attic so I'm willing to just go with it for now until we find out more

As I said the it's the characters that have me anticipating more and I'm looking forward to watching this all play out, as for the ghosts or other assorted paranormal creatures I'll just consider them a bonus I can't wait to see more of you^^

Anise: OMG Anise! It's been too long - I'm ecstatic to see(read) you again. How've you been, hun? Yes, my penchant for supernatural is still going strong. I think every story I started pretty much since Heirloom has had supernatural elements in one form or another... and there are a lot of them.

I'm relieved you like Jazzy and Harley. I adore the characters, but I was worried that since this story doesn't have quite the amount of levity that my previous posted stories had, that they wouldn't shine the way I intended. I'm not much of a sci-fi writer though, so with the aliens, I promise to try not to make it toooo, you know, outrageous. I've been dying to write a story like this for years, but never could quite wrap my head around the potential plot until recently. It would be a shame if it was so weird that it dispelled the scary factor.

Thank you for dropping by, Anise. It made me insanely happy to hear from you again.

Take care everyone!

Edited March 13, 2015 by CloverReef

[CloverReef]

Chapter 4 will be up in 2 seconds.

Chapter 3 - Ain't Never Been Camping - Review Responses

(3) I'm glad you're as happy to see(read) me as I was to see a story by you, sometimes I wonder if it's a little weird for me to get so excited by people online that I've never met I had to check and I can't believe that it's been four years since Heirloom and here we are still around (starting to feel rather old)

I love how much Jazzy cares about Harley, sometimes family isn't about blood but connections that we make. Also Lekan's reaction shows just what kind of a man he really is, despite his anger management issues As for Dante he's a very tormented guy and certainly has his share of issues, hopefully Harley doesn't just go running back to him as soon as he's out.

Something I'm wondering is are we actually going to see little green men or is it more the suggestion of what happened and Harley's going to try and make sense of things. I actually find it creepier when it isn't said outright what happened, certainly adds a little mystery.

I really need to stop rambling, seriously I just can't seem to stop I'm looking forward to the next chapter^^

Anise: I hope it's not weird to get excited about people you've never met, because I do too. Though I tend towards the internet cliché of celebrating weirdness... So... Yay if it is? And yeah, before I posted this story, I had to check how long it had been since Heirloom too. I was thinking it was two years, and that was a lot as it was! But four? Good grief! And here I was still calling Heirloom my 'latest'.

Lekan, I hope, will show a few redeeming qualities. He's a difficult character to balance. He hasn't got the tormented ugliness that Dante's meant to have, but he has his own brand of ugly to contend with that's hopefully more redeemable. I wanted to make Dante 100% bad, because of what he did. I wanted to make him a full blown monster. Instead I tried to make him more human, ideally without trivialising the horrible thing he did.

I promise: No little green men (these ones are big and definitely not green!). I'm aiming for creepy, honestly, but it might be a bit of a... middle ground, I guess. Hopefully a little further away from the inane alien invader stereotypes side.

Chapter Four - The Stars, They Weep - Review Responses

I'm with the art dude. Take what you can get where you can get it free of charge and drama. Well, not much of them at least.

Thank goodness for people like Caleb otherwise people who are really in need would meet their untimely deaths at the wierdest means. Poor Harley, I wonder what really happened on that metal table. Things could always go wrong further down the road after medical procedures, if that's even what happened.

Reeciez: You mean you don't think Liz would've been very good-samaritan-ish if she came across an unconscious body without good ol' Caleb? Ehhh probably not. Nope, definitely not.

The things that could go wrong after the 'medical procedures': that, I think, is going to be one of the fun parts to write. But now I'm curious. What do you suppose happened on that metal table?

(4) This has a sick backwoods experiment/cult/horror movie feel to it, so definitely going with creepy. It'll be interesting to see where Harley ended up in relation to where he went missing, was it down the road or across the state. The upside is that he got rescued by a cute university graduate, at least there's something nice to look at

As for Lekan, he really does seem to be aching for a fight, I'd hate to work for him but I suppose there could be some perks I can't wait for more of him, I'm looking forward to seeing how he fits into everything that's going on.

I just noticed when I read the review responses that your in Ontario, I'm in BC, not super close obviously but it's all Canada Just another silly little thing that made me smile^^ As for the chapter it's got me looking forward to the next one to find out just what everyone's reaction is

Anise: Oh cool, BC! I was raised in Sask, so that's closer! Yay Canadians!

Well, if you're going to get rescued, might as well do it in style, right? A good looking princely hero - this would be a crappy m/m fic if there wasn't a little eye candy to go around. I'm glad you're looking forward to more Lekan. Though he gets a little naughty soon so, I guess the jury's still out on him. I like your description. Backwoods experiment/cult/horror sounds like a great ambiance to aim for. I have so much more to say in response, but I'm afraid I'll spoil things, and nobody wants that! Ty for your review hun. Always love hearing from you.

Edited September 13, 2014 by CloverReef

[CloverReef]

I've been struggling with chapter seven. Had to rewrite a scene half a dozen times - just wasn't happy with it. For some baffling reason, it's difficult to make a scene in a police station interesting when the three featuring characters barely know each other. Oh well... I've got the scene worked out now, but it's put me behind (I like to stay 3 chapters ahead). I'm going to delay posting chapter six in case I need to alter it. If this news upsets you, then I love you for caring about Harley's story.

Chapter Five - Review Responses:

Somehow I get the feeling Harley will end up with Lekan... not sure how it will happen, but I just have a feeling it will happen in some strange way. I really like poor little Harley ... he brings out the "hug him to death" vibe in me. Lekan seems like he is a real ass, but I think it suites him at the moment. I have a feeling he is a better man than Dante is from everything you have portrayed so far.

Don't take my thoughts as a push or request to make them (Harley & Lekan)become a couple or anything. I like reading stories which authors are willing to post and ALWAYS believe they should be free to take their stories anywhere they want. If the drifts into areas which make me uncomfortable or takes a direction which no longer interests me, I stop reading the story. There is no reason for me to complain the story is not turning out the way I want it too. If I really felt I should have so much control on the outcome of a story, I should have the inspiration and the guts to be an author and post my own stories.

KC: I like to think I'm influenced and motivated by reviews, but I tend to write what I'd like to read, so my stories aren't so easily redirected. It's good that the ass-ness suits Lekan. I kinda expected the beginning of chapter five to turn readers against him. It wasn't what I intended, but it's where the story took him. I kinda hope his bad decisions are a little more reconcilable than Dante's, though. I like your philosophy. I agree that authors should always be free to take their stories where they want - though coming from me, it may sound a little self-serving. Thanks KC... (I swear your name seems familiar)

I'm following nthis story because I really like Harley and his ex's mom and the UFO stuff. I have to say though that the number of second-tier characters and their subplots is overwhelming and I do get lost a lot. I don't know who someof the side characters are or why they're in the story.

Your voice is really engaging, though, and I hope those remarks are helpful and not discouraging because I want to read the whole story.

Anon: I was worried about that, but I understand. It's a weakness of mine - making things more convoluted than they have to be. But I'm glad you said something, so I'll try to streamline it a little more. I don't plan on introducing any more recurring characters for a while though, at least. Your remarks were helpful. I appreciate your honesty - hopefully now I can do something about it. I'm glad you like Harley and Jazzy! Thanks for the review.

Ok, I'm very interested in where this is going. I would...kinda term that blow job as assault/rape considering the kid was trying to alert Lekan that he wanted to slow down. Sooo I'm not sure where you're headed with Lekan, but IMO right now he's a creep.

Harley, of course, is adorable.

Sasa: Oh dear, yeah. You're right. What Lekan did was bordering on rape. It was definitely a creep move. Lekan is a very flawed character, and I don't intend for his bad decisions to be easily forgiven. I always hate reading stories where characters do some awful act and then live happily ever after like it never even happened or win over their victims without having to work for it. I'm thrilled you like Harley! Thanks for the review and take care!

[CloverReef]

Chapter 6 Review Replies:

I am not officially pronouncing this story dead. It is not dead. I, however, have decided to put it on hiatus for two reasons. 1: I was stuck on chapter... 8, I believe. And 2: No beta. My beta is pretty busy and I'm forcing enough on her with another story. It makes me sad, though, even with just a hiatus. I really love writing to this.

Anise:

I thought Lekan needed a lil non-pissed-off moment or two before his head exploded. Hanging out with a baby seemed like the right choice. She doesn't talk, after all (not well enough to say something that annoys him anyway!) It made me laugh, though, that after all that happened, Lekan with a baby is what shocked you

Fran Rie:

Don't worry, I don't think anyone likes Lekan so far, but me I like a good love/hate situation. I'm glad you like Harley. He's the whole reason I keep going back to this story after many, many bouts of writer's block and self-doubt, because he's fun to write. The aliens, though... Of all the alien movies I've watched (and I've watched a lot) I always found myself rolling my eyes when the aliens appeared. They're always cruddy makeup or cheap CGI. Always tears me out of the story. It's the ones you don't see that scare me, so I'm trying to keep that feel.

Kew:

I miss it too. I miss writing to it.