If Squall Ruled the World

[Squall-sama]

THIS IS ONLY MEANT AS A LAUGH--BUT AS I'M SURE MANY OF YOU WILL FEEL AFFENDED OR WHATEVER, I AM PROVIDING A WARNING AND DISCLAIMER. THIS DEALS WITH RACISM, RELIGION, SEXISM AND ANY OTHER '-ISM' I CAN'T THINK OF. THESE ARE MY OWN OPINIONS AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM THEN OK, I'M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE ANYONES OPINIONS. SO DON'T TRY AND CHANGE MINE OR FREAK OUT AT ME. THANKS.

If Squall Ruled the World...

*Signals would all be timed evenly--no more waiting at a damn signal for 10 minutes when no one is coming in the other direction.

*Religion would no longer be the excuse for everything.

*Asians would no longer be allowed to drive unless they were in their home country where there is nothing but more asians. (I say this even when my boyfriend is Japanese--he was one of the worst effing drivers on the road) Or unless they could learn to drive like everyone else.

*Anybody moving into another country MUST learn the language (read, speak and write) within a month of moving to that country or they get deported.

*Pizza would be the international dish and eggplant would be incinerated. <--compliments of Shinju

*All pregnant women parking would be removed.

*All druggies would be given an insain amount of their preferred drug then pumped full of said drug until dead.

*Same with alcoholics.

*Vans would no longer be made. Anybody who drives one automatically drops 20 pts of their IQ.

*Criminals would recieve punishment in the same form of turture they inflicted on their victims. You don't wanna kill 'em right away, let them suffer a bit first.

*Leaders of all the countries that "don't" possess weapons of mass destruction that "don't" have them pointed at any other country would be strapped to said weapon, shot into the atmosphere and straight at each other.

*The single child law (like in China, only there really would be only one kid, birthing a boy or girl or whatever--Unless you have twins or something to that effect. Artificial insemination with the intent to have 80 kids is not allowed.) would be effective world-wide.

*Anyone who inflicts harm on an animal would be punished in the same way... You know, it would be interesting to see the human version of a cock-fight..... hah, I pun.

*Gas prices wouldn't cost as much as the fucking car itself does. Who the hell said we weren't in a depression anyway? Dumb ass.

*Children running around in a department store, mall, grocery store, etc., alone, will be "kidnapped" for the day to teach the idiot parents a lesson that they should never leave their kids unattended.

*Children running through a store like it's a goddamn playground would be put in a cage specially reserved for such incidents until their parents were through shopping. Point in fact: if you have kids--DON'T BRING THEM INTO A GODDAMN STORE!

Boy, it would suck to live in my world wouldn't it? *snorts* I'm not a very forgiving person obviously--but a lot of this stuff I say because most of it is from some form of experience or another--so I'm biased. But like I said--it's my opinion--don't freak out. Think of that song from Ave Q, Everyone's a Little Bit Racist.

If I think of more, I'll add it...

[Shinju]

Could you make pizza the international dish?

[Squall-sama]

Could you make pizza the international dish?

*dies laughing* Sure I think I could manage.