Made me want to die

[Guest Zyx]

So when I was 10 I was in love with this girl... Finally worked up the courage to get rejected by the time I was 16. Now one of my best friends, with whom I've been talking about in which freaky amounts were alike, first fell in love just a couple of weeks ago... Yeah, pretty late >_> He didn't understand romance before, I'm thinking he will soon. So turns out, WTF, that the girl he's in love with has the same name as the girl I was/am (you know you never really get over it) in love with. So she's been hanging out with me and my friends. We slept on the couch at one of my other friends' house tonight. It was a good day/night yesterday and stuff.

But this guy and me, we think alike, we do alike. And this night he slept on a couch with the girl... And I'm happy for him. And my other best friend (whose house it was) already had a girlfriend and I was fine with that. But because we're so much alike, I'm wondering "why him and not me?".

I wouldn't trade it for "me and not him" but I would've wanted this for both of us...

[Shinju]

Wait, I don't get what you just said, are you jealous of your friend because he slept on the couch with a girl you like or is your pride just injured because she chose him and not you? Is this girl the same girl you fell in love with when you were 10???

[Guest Zyx]

not the same girl, just the same name, which is freaky.

and I don't even like the girl that much.

It's just that he got what he wanted and I didn't. Which hurts more because I can see virtually no differance between the two of us.

[Shinju]

not the same girl, just the same name, which is freaky.

First AND last name or just first?

It's just that he got what he wanted and I didn't. Which hurts more because I can see virtually no differance between the two of us.

Did you want this girl to sleep on the couch with you? What did you want?

[Guest Zyx]

First AND last name or just first?

Just first, but it's not that common a name, and seeing as to how we only recently started seeing endless things the samen between us.

Did you want this girl to sleep on the couch with you? What did you want?

No, I wanted the girl that I like to sleep on the couch with me.

[shinigamiinochi]

I understood what you were saying and while I have never been in love, I've been told it's a terrible thing. Just don't let your emotions get the best of you. you can't forsee the future. My cousin Louisa was in love with this guy in high school and pined for him well after college. In her eyes no one was good enough. Then she met her husband and now no one else is good enough besides him. She looks at that guy from high school with disdain now. I know this doesn't seem like a huge comfort, but human emotions are fickle and you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Feeling jealous that someone has gotten what they wanted when you have not is very painful, but also very normal, but don't resent your friend too much. It's very big of you to say that you wouldn't wish for him to not get the girl he wants.

[Shinju]

No, I wanted the girl that I like to sleep on the couch with me.

So it was a different girl? The other guy and you might not have that many differences, but maybe this other girl and the girl that slept on the couch with that guy just had different morals. I mean, it's just common sense for a girl who does not want to be molested in her sleep, not to say that you are a molester or anything. It's just that I don't think I've ever been to a male/female sleepover where some guy hasn't tried to feel me up whilst I'm unconscious, so I can understand being wary of something like that.

Perhaps she is shy?

[Shinju]

I have never been in love

You're my hero, shinigamiinochi. I aspire to be just like you. NEVER LET THEM TRICK YOU WITH THEIR CLEVER LIES!!!

[Shinju]

If it is the same girl and she likes your friend instead, and you guys are like, the same person, maybe she played inie meenie minie moe? Or perhaps he's spent more time with her, or when your back was turned he suavely put the moves on her.

[shinigamiinochi]

my friends say I'm nihilistic (or at the very least incredibly pessimistic) because I say that I am not looking for love because I currently have no use for it. They say that I am obviously bitter and lonely. >.> If I was lonely, I'd probably go on a dating site or something. I just don't think that everyone needs to be with 'that special someone', I'm totally happy with my computer, my cousin, and my friends. This is especially true after listening to friends and people online talk about their relationship woes. No offense to those that believe in love, but it just seems like a lot work and I really don't need the stress right now. Being a lesbian just gives me even more issues. To anyone who has made love work for them, congratulations, you rock!

[Shinju]

my friends say I'm nihilistic (or at the very least incredibly pessimistic) because I say that I am not looking for love because I currently have no use for it. They say that I am obviously bitter and lonely. >.> If I was lonely, I'd probably go on a dating site or something. I just don't think that everyone needs to be with 'that special someone', I'm totally happy with my computer, my cousin, and my friends. This is especially true after listening to friends and people online talk about their relationship woes. No offense to those that believe in love, but it just seems like a lot work and I really don't need the stress right now. Being a lesbian just gives me even more issues. To anyone who has made love work for them, congratulations, you rock!

Dude, those people who say you are bitter and lonely are obviously caught up in some Sleeping Beauty myth that their prince will come charging up on a white steed to them to kiss them and finally make them "awake," when really the only person that can do that is themselves. They are the deluded ones, not you. Take it from me, it is awful to want somebody to make you whole when the truth is that you are the only one who can do that. The fact that you are happy and satisfied with yourself and your life at the age of 21 is a HUGE achievement and anyone else who says differently is lost and confused.

[Shinju]

Zyx, I'm drunk at the moment (hey, it is a Saturday night) and I will say something I would not have said otherwise. I know what it is like to have someone choose someone who is them same (or even less good) than you over you and it totally sucks. You keep on thinking "Why not me???" and it drives you insane. I have no answer except to say that you are not alone, but I hate saying that because I know it doesn't help any.

Vodka anyone???

[Guest Zyx]

you still don't get it

I was in love with girl1

He was in love with girl2

now I didn't get girl1

but he DID get girl2

and because "him=me" I feel it's unfair he got something I didn't...

[greenwizard]

My only thought in this is girl 1 and girl 2 are not the same person, so how much you and you're friend are alike has nothing to do with anything. Different people are attracted to different things.

[shinigamiinochi]

the point here is that he is jealous that his friend has gotten the girl that he liked, but Zyx did not, so he's feeling jealous that his friend is happy when he never had a chance. The girls were different, but he still feels bad about it.

[Shinju]

Oh, I see now. . .

Jealousy is so bothersome and usually can't be helped . . . sometimes I dislike being human.

[Guest Zyx]

thanks shinigamiinochi, shinju

I was kinda getting scared people were gonna bash me for feeling bad over nothing >_>

I had a good retort ready though: "as soon as someone experiences a rational emotion, I'm apolagizing to everyone who read this. "

[foeofthelance]

Take it from an old battered gray knight, there's nothing to it. It isn't a case of why did he get lucky when you didn't, it is more a case of why couldn't girl A see what she was giving up? Is there some mystical soulmate running around out there whom you are destined to meet and fall in love with? Um, I don't know the answer to that actually. My own particular brand of life has led to a headache in that department. But from my own experiences I can tell you this: she isn't the only one of her out there. And one of them will recognize you for what you are, and will perhaps be looking for it herself. Then you'll realize whether that's what you want or not. Maybe. I'm still working that out for myself, and willingly admit it would be much more useful if I could just indulge in polywhatever. But that's a seperate rant, for another time...

Hopefully the advice (sort of) helped.

*Never trust a Knight in Shining Armor. Their either a coward or a noob. Either way, not someone to count on in a fight. It's the quiet ones who bear their scars without boasting who are good men to stand with.

[Guest Zyx]

what made me want to die even more was going to the dentist

I would totally join a cult just because they claimed dentists were from another planet, sent to collect our tears and break our wills. I was going to write tonight, but I ended up once again watching porn instead, though this time because it distracted me from the pain in my teeth, which wasn't there BEFORE I went to the dentist >_>

dentists automatically equal assholes

[greenwizard]

I don't go to dentists if I can help it. I actually had a dentist once decide to drill a cavity with no novacaine because it wasn't that bad. What did I ever do to him?