What These Eyes See: Review Reply

[Aysha c.c.]

I have gotten some reviews with some good feedback, so I thought it would be a good idea to create this reply thread, so you can come here to read my responses to your reviews.

The first review is from: Akuma-Heika.

Akuma-Heika. So just like this evening I increased the flow of chocolate to my eyes and peered through the wall,

Normals use chakra hyuuga use chocolate! lol

WHen Hanabi says Onii chan who is she referring too?

I really hope for a NaruHinaHanabi or NaruHanabiMoegi!

Thank you Akuma-Heika for your review! Thank you also for pointing out that increase in the flow of chocolate. LOL.

I use Dragon naturally speaking, the amazingly inaccurate voice recognition software from a nuisance, that was supposed to be nuance, to write my stories. Dragon has the amazing ability to (file) that is supposed tho be (fuck) up what you're saying at exactly the worst time, every time!

When Hanabi says Oniichan she is referring to her big sister, Oniichan is the Japanese word meaning big sister.

I do think it will be possible to accommodate your pairing requests.

The next review comes from: KRP

KRP. Well, I think that 'Older Sister' is supposed to be 'Oneechan' and 'Older Brother', 'Oniichan', although I think those meanings deviate slightly based on the suffix/honorific (-san, -chan, -sama, usually (in this case)) added on. There's also 'Aniki' for 'Older Brother', 'otouto' for 'younger brother' and 'imouto' for 'younger sister'.....

...And, that's starting to get a little off topic. Still, like the premise. For whatever reason, I've always kinda liked Hanabi, even if her character never really got fleshed out any. Maybe it's just because she's usually portrayed like a more serious Hinata?

Looking forward to more

ttyl

Thank you KRP for your review. Ever since I saw Hanabi in the second stage of the chunin exams I have wanted to see her character developed. In the few glimpses that we've had of her throughout the show it's been obvious that she's better at concealing her feelings than Henata, so I've always wondered what she's really thinking. That's why I've decided to write this storyline.

I am studying Japanese using Rosetta Stone software. It is a very effective method for learning a new language and I would recommend Rosetta Stone to anyone.

Because of this I know for certain that Oniichan is the Japanese word meaning big sister. Oneechan is the Japanese word meaning big brother. Both can be made more formal by changing chan to "sona" (Note the (n) pronounced as (m) in this case) and less formal by dropping the O and saying Niichan or Neechan.

I hope you enjoy what's coming up next TTYL.

Edited January 21, 2014 by Aysha c.c.

[Guest ssvidel3]

hi! im not one who sends a lot of feedbacks or reviews. but I have to say that I really enjoyed this story and wanted to comment on it being very well done. I believe you stayed true to their characters as much as possible. (seeing how they have sex with each other its a given their personalities will be a little different than in canon. LOL) I cant really say im a fan of hanabi simply because you don't see enough of her to get a feel of what shes like. I guess the best way to describe her is like another reviewer said: shes like a more serious, focused hinata without the shyness attached. I loved how sakura and ino were added to the mix later on. hot! haha now before I go any further, should I post a review on the main site for this story. I also have a couple of questions to ask which is why im posting in this forum. anyways I look forward to you continuing this story, and hope to talk to you soon!

[Aysha c.c.]

Thank you for your review ssvidel3! I am happy to know you enjoyed my story and that I was able to inspire you to break your silence. The enjoyment you get from reading the stories posted by the authors of adultfanfiction.org Is the same enjoyment we get reading your reviews.

ssvidel3

I believe you stayed true to their characters as much as possible.

Thank you for letting me know, I tried very hard to bring the personalities of the characters we all love into my work as accurately as possible.

ssvidel3

I cant really say im a fan of hanabi simply because you don't see enough of her to get a feel of what shes like. I guess the best way to describe her is like another reviewer said: shes like a more serious, focused hinata without the shyness attached.

Who can really say that they are a fan of Hanabi? The writers of the show and artists created a very beautiful character but left her a blank slate as far as personality and story. The fact that she is a blank slate is one of the reasons why I chose the character to write about it's almost like writing an OC that's already part of the canon, the fact that she lacks the shyness of her sister give me the freedom to create the pervy fist evolution of the gentle fist, and her seriousness gives her the ability to play off of the goofballs that already exist in the Naruto universe.

ssvidel3

I loved how sakura and ino were added to the mix later on. hot!

I love the dynamic between these two characters, friends that became rivals in love from an early age, and rivals as kunoichi. It seemed natural that they might develop a friends with benefits kind of relationship, and I felt I needed more established characters and characters with greater knowledge of chakra in order for Hobby to develop the pervy fist. Plus it helps that these two are really hot!

Lastly I'd be happy to field any questions you have, so ask away.

Thanks once again for such a detailed review!

[Aysha c.c.]

123rodx

Read both chapter, love your story, great work

Thank you very much 123rodx I appreciate you letting me know that you feel I did a good job. That is what's important to me as an author.

mad bob

holy crap... that was awesome. i dont think ive ever seen a fic with hanabi as a main character. i cant wait to see where this goes

Think you mad bob for such an enthusiastic review! I myself have never seen a fanfic with Hanabi is the main character and that is the main reason why I decided to write this story.

I hope that you and everyone continues to enjoy this story as it develops.

I look forward to hearing from everyone that wishes to make a comment. Thank you all once again!

[Guest ssvidel3]

you are welcome for the review. one question I have is this: if you have the time, would you ever consider taking story requests?

[Aysha c.c.]

I'm currently writing three active and extremely involved stories, if it is a one shot I would consider it but I couldn't make any guarantees.

[Guest ssvidel3]

it would be just a one-shot story.

[Aysha c.c.]

go ahead and leave a description of the story and the things you'd like to see in it and I'll see what I can do. be advised that I don't do M/M or sexual violence.

[Guest ssvidel3]

ok before I do that, this is the pairing I was thinking about:

sakuraxmebuki haruno mother/daughter incest. sakura would be older than in your other naruto story. 17 or 18 years old. I saw in a couple of your stories you wrote about incest. but it was sibling or cousin incest. im not sure about a parent child one. so if this is not to your liking, I can always change the pairing.

[Aysha c.c.]

I don't have anything against the pairing itself or mother daughter incest but I don't know anything about Sakura's mother. And Sakuris about 16 in my story. So not that far off.

[Guest ssvidel3]

well not much is known about mebuki,sakuras mother. I think she appears in two episodes as well as the naruto movie road to ninja over a year ago. that's about it. I think she has a similar temper to sakura LOL as well as being fiercly loyal. if you will give this one a shot, you can even have her as an OC if you wish, because she is seen less than hanabi. but I don't think her background/personality is too important in this story since it will be mostly lemon. what do you think?

[Aysha c.c.]

I have an idea forming in my head I think I will add Ino's mother to the mix and extending the rivalry of their girls to include the mothers how do you like the idea of the mothers having a drunken contest to see who can make their daughter cum first

Edited January 29, 2014 by Aysha c.c.

[Guest ssvidel3]

that sounds good. and have sakura cum first. the winner then gets to have her way with her mother and do whatever she wants to her. how is that?

[Guest ssvidel3]

and if that doesn't work, ive got another story for the sakuraxmebuki pairing I just thought of.

[Guest ssvidel3]

and ive got some other kinky ideas for that other sakura mebuki story idea if you wish to hear them.

[Guest Guest]

I get that you use Dragon. It's not good, I know. Punctuation is a mess, homonyms are always wrong, etc.

You *need* a technical editor to go through with a red pen and make corrections for you.

[Aysha c.c.]

I get that you use Dragon. It's not good, I know. Punctuation is a mess, homonyms are always wrong, etc.

You *need* a technical editor to go through with a red pen and make corrections for you.

Yes you are absolutely right, do you know where I can find someone who meets that description?

[Aysha c.c.]

Akuma-Heika

I can assure you that nii is older brother and nee is older sister. Other terms for older brother and sister is aniki and aneki respectively. The extremely Honorable terms I mix up though so sorry I cannot add those. The reason I asked about the onii-chan is because I can confirm it is older brother. No idea why your RS has them mixed up.

You are absolutely right! I was the one who got them mixed up. Thank you for your persistence! However I have had to remove this form the review page of the story because it is not a review.

[Guest nixsouddress]

Was this story the one with fu and naruto?

[Aysha c.c.]

I've never written a story with fu in it, one of the chapters will include Naruto, Hinata, and Hanabi.