Bitching about doctors and the government

[greenwizard]

Something's been going on lately that's been scaring the crap out of me. You know that headrush you get when you hang upside down? I've noticed that I get that when I lay on my back, and I feel pressure on my chest and it's hard to breathe. Is this me having a panic attack....? It's happened every night this week, and I haven't really given it much thought until last night. I've also blacked out twice while masturbating. The headaches haven't stopped. My appetite has been randomly switching back and forth from me being starving, or geting sick at the sight of food and having the shakes.

Ok, to the topic at hand... There may be something seriously wrong with me, but I can't go to the dr. I have no insurance. I just went two weeks ago for a throat infection, and I haven't paid that bill yet. I'm not sure they'd bill me again, and I have no money at the moment.

The state has medical assistance... but I can't get it. I get disability for my anxiety craziness (the official diagnosis is schizophrenic effective disorder but I don't think that quite covers it), and so my income is too high. For those of you who don't get government checks, and don't know anyone who does, my boyfriend works about 30 hrs a week at Mc Donald's, and we're just barely scraping by. And you wanna know the really fucked up part....

According to the welfare department, since we are not legally married our income is supposed to be considered seperate. Well when they reviewed my income they kept it seperate because $900 a month from the government is over their income guidelines; just barely, but enough they denied me. My boyfriend's measly Mc D's check is under their income guidelines, but he got denied too. Why you ask... Oh, they counted my income with his.

And even if I did go to the dr. it wouldn't do me any good. For one, I know just enough about the human body to be dangerous. Add my anxiety and the fact that I ask a lot of questions, I got labled early on as a hypochondriac. I know I am one to an extent. My anxiety makes me freak out over small stuff. So doctors don't generally listen to me when I know something is wrong. If I presented all my symptoms I'll get told it's all in my head. I didn't start freaking until last night when I started thinking about all the weird stuff together. So why, if it's my anxiety, would all the symptoms continue to be consistent over a week or so when I wasn't panicing. Panic attacks don't last for more than a few hours.

And even if by some chance the dr believes me, he won't do anything. Doctors won't do tests on people with no health insurance. I know they think they're doing me a favor by not puting me in debt, but not puting me in debt isn't going to do me any good if I'm dead... The whole damn situation is so frustrating and scary I could scream. I don't cry much, but I cried last night.

[Guest Monsterking]

well there's doctors for you sometimes thier awesome and sometimes they suck

Peace out brothers and sisters of adult-fanfiction.org and may the furs be with you! "WOOOOOO!!"

[shinigamiinochi]

well, it sounds more like general anxiety disorder than schizoaffective disorder, which basically means you're bipolar and schizo at the same time but that doesn't sound right from what you've said unless you've left out some stuff. There's meds like Zoloft that you can take, but you do need a prescription for them, unfortunately. Though, what you've described can also be attributed to physiological problems and my best advice would be to get a CAT scan just to be safe, but you're right, medical insurance sucks. I'm not in school anymore, but I don't have a job yet so I don't have medical insurance anymore so I'm scared that I might do something stupid and get sick or hurt. I have hypothyroid, am anemic, and have social anxiety disorder, so a lot could go wrong, not to mention I'm a bit clumsy. So, I'm sorry that you are feeling that way and I hope that something helps you out.

[greenwizard]

The schizophrenia comes in because I sometimes hear weird noises like music or machine sounds late at night when everything is quiet. I have to sleep with a TV on every night just loud enough to drown out the Mario Bros. theme song. Apparently that is considered schizophrenia too so I'm told.

[Guest Monsterking]

Sounds an lot like an certain someone in the whitehouse! no offence to you greenwizard

[Raphaella]

I recommend some meditation and that you look into lucid dreaming. Also I advise you listen to appropriately soothing music in lieu of sleeping with the T.V. droning on in the background. This may lead to unsettling sounds and even more unpleasant imagery being lodged in your subconscious mind. It simply won't help this schizophrenia you seem to be suffering if your subconscious is constantly dredging up infomercials for appliance direct, and then abruptly switching to the fashion network.

Also be advised that you should drink plenty of water, as it is well known that water is full of wondrous properties. A hydrated mind is a healthy mind after all. You may also want to consult your crystal healing techniques, I recommend that you balance your chakras and then work on some serious grounding. If you can, try to find some university test groups as well. They may be studying symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other such things. While you may not qualify for the study, they may do some preliminary tests and that way you could find out the root of these symptoms.

Oh and I almost forgot, Iron. You may be in need of Iron. Do not, however, exceed the recommended dose of Iron supplements as the result is most unpleasant.

[greenwizard]

I know that my chakra needs cleansed, I just don't know how. I have my stone. I have no idea what it is, but I was drawn to it and when I rub my feet with it I feel more calm and balanced.

I keep the TV on, but I keep it pretty low so that I hear background noise, but I can't really hear what's going on. I can't listen to music. It stimulates my mind and keeps me awake. I used to spend the night with a friend who listened to music to sleep. He kept it low, but I still never got any sleep.

[Raphaella]

Well in order to balance your chakras all you need is colored paper really. I prefer to use crystals though. You first will want to read up on the seven major chakras http://www.aurastation.biz/about_chakras.html and their corresponding vibrations, colors, and attributes. You can enlist the help of a friend, or simply do this your self. Once you find suitable stones, or you could use a pendulum too I guess if you are doing this with a friend.

What you do from there is lie on your back and place the stones over your major chakras starting at the root and ending with the crown. You'll want to leave the stones in place for as long as you feel necessary and visualize the energy pathways of your body being aligned and balanced. Feel the vortex of each energy point start to stabilize and then imagine the energy flow… up from the root and as it reaches the other chakras each of them in turn will bloom, and so on until you reach the crown.

Next visualize the energy flow coming out the crown, around your body and back into the root, like a cycle. Keep this up until you feel a harmony being reached and feel free to meditate and do use a suitable breathing technique. Once you feel a balance has been achieved, you then must remove the stones, starting with the crown and then down to the root. Next, take your time in getting up, hold on to a grounding stone for as long as you feel you must. A grounding stone is one which is usually brown or black, some are even magnetic.

Be sure to take your time and become suitably grounded. This could take quite some time, but once you are firmly back in the here and now, you should feel if not 100% better, at least somewhat better.

This is just my take on this whole thing I am by no means a crystal healing guru, but it's worth a shot...