Off the Wall: Review Responses 'N Stuff

[Fire_Demon]

Hey!I just noticed something and I feel stupid for not noticing it before!Your avatar!I mean I've noticed it before but I just got the alternate meaning of it!!!It could be from Fico's point of view directed at Luke!Gooood I feel so stupid...

[Guest magicmau5]

hahahaha no one has noticed that yet! good job!

[Guest]

Tahylor 2013-10-13 id # 3000212763 I just wanted to say awesome job on the chapters. It sucks that all those things happened to Fico one after the other (getting drugged, Joaco cheating, etc) but I'm so happy for him cus Luke FINALLY came out to him!! I was beginning to think that Luke was literally going to have to dick slap Fico in the face in order for him to realize that Luke wants him lol. I can't wait to read what's next for these two although I don't think Joaco is going to just slink away...Also I had to laugh - Fico would run into probably the most kinky cop in LA (who I LOVED btw) while naked and dealing with a viagra overdose. I really enjoyed that scene lol. Anyways good job and I'm glad you're back :-)

@Tahylor:

Dick slap. lol. Now I totally have to have someone dick slap Fico. Or vice versa.

Glad you enjoyed the cop scene, it got me in trouble! (kind of). Mods made me add the tag RapeFic for that. I didn't remember to add the tags HJ and RapeFic for Ch 11 so they hid the story for a bit. They also asked for "Other" to be added, not sure what for but I'm thinking for "course language" lol. I could just ask an archive mod, but I don't really want to bug them about something so trivial.

I guess I could have separated all those ideas - viagra, kinky cop, etc into separate chapters but it didn't flow naturally that way. I kind of wanted that night to be a clusterfuck, as Fico described it, because he had been anticipating a wonderful night and it's always fun to mess with an MC's head.

[Guest]

Misakixusagi 2013-11-05 id # 3000213281

Nice chap

@Misakixusagi: Nice to see you back! Thanks

wolfluv 2013-11-06 id # 3000213313

I hope Luke doesn't turn out to be one of those sweet talking guys that everyone loves but if you're their "girlfriend/wife" they treat you like shit and beat on you?!? I know I'm just going to have to read to find out. Awesome chapter though! read ya laters

@wolfluv: Hmm no. He's just jealous.

Lisa 2013-11-06 id # 3000213328

Magic - you're back!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about the flu; it's so horrible feeling sick like that.

I quickly read over the last two chapters but didn't notice anything different. Maybe it's b/c I hadn't read them in awhile. What did you change in them?

This was a great chapter! On one hand I was happy for Fico that Joaco wants to "adopt" him as a brother. Actually, being eighteen, Fico doesn't need a guardian, right? It was nice that Joaco wanted to pay Tilde back for the hospital bill. So now their relationship will be more brotherly but w/o the sex. lol I say that b/c according to lots of stories on here, lots of bros get it on. lol In real life that's disgusting, but in the alternate universe that is AFF, it's totally acceptable! haha But no hanky-panky from these boys. The only hanky-panky going on better be from Fico and Luke ONLY!!!!

Hella awesome word: frawesome! Can I borrow it sometime? lol Loved Fico doing 'air algebra' with his name. Totally cracked me up!

Now all Fico has to do is to explain his situation with Joaco to Luke. Preferably when Luke has calmed down a bit.

Terrific chapter, Magic! Hope you're feeling better! =)

@Lisa:

I feel like I wasn't gone that long! Um, I added several elements, paragraphs mostly. They were just explanations of what Fico was feeling like, thoughts going through his head and stuff.

Yeah I felt weird just cutting Joaco off. I think he's not such a bad guy, just a little misdirected. Yeah no hanky panky for him from Fico. Poor guy!

I first heard my friend say frawesome in like 2009. Never really heard anyone else say it though. You could check the Urban Dictionary.

Yeah Luke's not going to be happy after that convo.

I wasn't very pleased with this chapter but I can't really think of a way to make it less sucky. It doesn't have much action in it, it's mostly filler between Ch12 and Ch14. I think you'll like Ch14 better. It's written from Luke's perspective (mostly) about his first impression of Fico, from his journal. I'm going to have a lot of fun writing it, I bet.

Edited November 7, 2013 by magicmau5

[Guest]

Jade 2013-11-07 id # 3000213339

Hi! I have followed this story from the beginning and overall really liked it. This chapter however had one thing that did not feel genuine with what the character has portrayed. I'm speaking about Luke's journal. It just read like him at all whereas all the other messages and written texts by Fico sounded like him. Bootylicious? Really? I really do like prettying everything else and will gladly read the next chapter.

RitsuOuO 2013-11-07 id # 3000213362

Oh my gosh, this story is such a blessing. I'm totally in love with it, thank you so much!

wolfluv 2013-11-07 id # 3000213363

"NICE!"

@Jade:

Thankyou for the feedback. I'll try to figure out how to address it.

@RitsuOuO:

Thankyou for reading it. I write it for you guys!

@wolfluv:

THANKS!

Edited November 8, 2013 by magicmau5

[Guest]

This is directed to Lisa for the recent reviews of Crave:

haha You know what happened? I accidentally added Ch 14 of OTW to Crave. So it jumped up in the fic archive. I hope the mods don't get mad! Um, I know I had a prob with prostate but I thought I'd fixed it. I guess not! thanks for noticing!

[Guest]

Hey Lisa, this is about Crave again. Um, that's frustrating that the discrepancy re: Colin is still there. I know I fixed it before, along with the prostate spelling. It's like the story has my old edition in it or something. >

[Guest]

Ok I fixed the "prostrate" problem. LMFAO. So embarrassing.

Too lazy to fix the Colin problem. No one's reading that story anymore, right? Except Lisa.

[Guest Guest]

Lol, you're too funny, Magic!

I finally had time to catch up on OTW! I LOVED reading Luke's journal - what a horntoad! lol Has to go to the bathroom every day at school! lol

I've been meaning to finish Crave. I'm only on chapter ten and totally loving the story! I have no idea why I hadn't seen it before when you first started posting it! I must have been hiding under a rock or something! lol

Today was so busy I didn't get a chance to do anything. I took my kid to a sleepover b-day party (he's fifteen, so it's kinda weird saying sleepover birthday party), and the boy's mom invited me in for a glass of wine. Who am I to refuse wine? So I brought my dog in (she was in the car), and I hung out with the mom and her two friends for like three hours! My kid was probably mortified b/c I was there! lol But damn, it was good wine!

I'm gonna try to finish Crave tomorrow, well, later tomorrow - it's already almost one in the morning.

[Guest Guest]

Oh shit! I forgot to sign in! It's Lisa...duh!

[Guest]

Lisa 2013-11-10 id # 3000213463

Ah, totally loved this chapter, Magic!

Omg, I don't know when the last time I heard "Gott im Himmel"! My mom used to say it all the time! Not the German, but Yiddish version. Believe it or not, Yiddish and German are sorta close together. lol Yeah, miss those Yiddish words...

Loved the "an alternate porno universe"! That was hysterical!

So Luke has been lusting after Fico all this time. But all I got from his journal was the writings of a lust-filled, sex-crazed boy wanting to "be" with Fico...it's not like he was writing about how much he liked Fico's brain and spending time talking to him, you know? I just wouldn't want Fico thinking Luke is only after him so he can get into his pants. Fico needs someone better than that.

Can't wait for the next update, Magic!

I gotta get back to "Crave"!

@Lisa:

lol. You're so funny. I probably wrote the journal parts too fast, but I'm also too lazy to change them. I was trying to portray Luke as sex-crazed here because I want his character to have a tendency to mask his sexuality in public, but release it in private. No pun intended. His journal serves as a way to exercise his sexuality in a "safe" manner. I'm glad you gave me that feedback, I think it's really useful. I'll have Fico address that in the next chapter, if you don't mind? I think it's a good observation.

It's so funny you like Crave so much. I think it's pretty rough, as far as drafts go. It's also heavily concentrated on sex, which I think is a drawback. Crave draws a ton from my own experience with bulimia and college. I think maybe that's why some readers get into it, because it has little details that stem from real memories and feelings.

Oh and Lisa, thanks so much for the Crave reviews. I'm a reviewophile, just like all the other authors on this site!

[LisaT2525]

Oh man, I wrote this whole response to your post and it didn't post. I don't know why.

Ok, Reader's Digest version: My best friend was bulimic throughout high school and part of college. I had no idea that every time we went out to eat and she was running to the bathroom, that she was throwing up! We would buy chocolate bars and I'd eat mine and she'd give me pieces of hers so I can "share" with her. Little did I realize she wasn't eating any of it! She was also an exercise fanatic. Her parents were very controlling and critical of her. I guess she felt this was the only thing in her life she could control. Luckily she started seeing a therapist and that helped a lot. She's fne now, although she still doesn't eat as much as she should. And she was always slim, never heavy.

And yes! Of course you can use whatever you like in my reviews! lol I'd be honored, Magic! It's so funny - on another site I was interviewed as being a prolific reviewer. The interviewer asked me if I try to influence the author's writing by what I write in my reviews and I said of course not! I have read chapters where I've said, "Omg, that's exactly what I wrote in my last review!", lol, but I don't purposely do that. But yes, Magic, please feel free to write whatever you want from my review. =)

When I was reading Luke's journal, that's all I thought about: how he seems just so 'physical' towards Fico and he sees him more like a sex toy than a real person with feelings, dreams, goals, etc. But then the way you explained it does explain everything - how writing in his journal is Luke's 'safe' place to put down whatever he feels like. Things he knows he can't verbalize with anyone, he can write it all down in the journal and no one is there reading it who is going to judge him.

I hope this post goes through! I even did that stupid, asinine (ok, same as stupid, lol), Captcha thingy. That thing is so stupid!!!! I just want the post to go through and the reviews to go through and I have to spend so much time figuring out those stupid Captcha words! I HATE those!!!!

[Guest]

Oh man, I wrote this whole response to your post and it didn't post. I don't know why.

Ok, Reader's Digest version: My best friend was bulimic throughout high school and part of college. I had no idea that every time we went out to eat and she was running to the bathroom, that she was throwing up! We would buy chocolate bars and I'd eat mine and she'd give me pieces of hers so I can "share" with her. Little did I realize she wasn't eating any of it! She was also an exercise fanatic. Her parents were very controlling and critical of her. I guess she felt this was the only thing in her life she could control. Luckily she started seeing a therapist and that helped a lot. She's fne now, although she still doesn't eat as much as she should. And she was always slim, never heavy.

And yes! Of course you can use whatever you like in my reviews! lol I'd be honored, Magic! It's so funny - on another site I was interviewed as being a prolific reviewer. The interviewer asked me if I try to influence the author's writing by what I write in my reviews and I said of course not! I have read chapters where I've said, "Omg, that's exactly what I wrote in my last review!", lol, but I don't purposely do that. But yes, Magic, please feel free to write whatever you want from my review. =)

When I was reading Luke's journal, that's all I thought about: how he seems just so 'physical' towards Fico and he sees him more like a sex toy than a real person with feelings, dreams, goals, etc. But then the way you explained it does explain everything - how writing in his journal is Luke's 'safe' place to put down whatever he feels like. Things he knows he can't verbalize with anyone, he can write it all down in the journal and no one is there reading it who is going to judge him.

I hope this post goes through! I even did that stupid, asinine (ok, same as stupid, lol), Captcha thingy. That thing is so stupid!!!! I just want the post to go through and the reviews to go through and I have to spend so much time figuring out those stupid Captcha words! I HATE those!!!!

I think you can listen to the captcha instead of trying to figure it out via looking at it. Try it out and see!

Thanks for letting me use your idea. I'm pretty careful with intellectual property stuff.

I'm curious, what website is it that interviewed you?

I'm going to try and write today while I babysit. My nephews are asleep for a couple hours (hopefully, fingers crossed) while my sister and the rest of her brood are at a birthday party.

[LisaT2525]

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you can listen to those stupid Captcha things. Thanks for reminding me!

The other site that I'm on and do 99% of my editing is on GA (GayAuthors.org). I joined them about three years ago. In fact, there have been one or two authors from GA that I convinced to join AFF and post here. They don't still do it though. Well, they don't post there anymore either.

But if you're interested in reading the article, I'll send you a link.

How was babysitting? lol

[Guest]

Hmm maybe I'll check out that site. Babysitting was fine. I got like two sentences and then they woke up. I had to sit through an episode of Veggietales. I wish my sister weren't so Catholic and they watched Spongebob Iike normal kids. I love Spongebob! But I think she's afraid that Patrick is gay.

But now I'm home and I've gotten some real work done. I actually put together an outline this time. I usually use the songs as a mental outline but this time I actually typed "outline" like I was back in high school or something.

Edited November 11, 2013 by magicmau5

[LisaT2525]

Wait, Patrick from Spongebob? Or Patrick her son? Is there a Patrick in Spongebo? I used to watch that with my kids, but I don't remember the names of the characters. lol

I guess your sister would be against watching Teletubbies also then. lol Why is she so homophobic? Does she know her sister writes gay porn? lol

Omg, this reminds me: I told you yesterday I was invited in for wine by my son's friend's mom, right? Well, one of the moms there was asking me what I do and I told her I don't have a full-time paying job yet, (will need to get one since the ex killed me in the divorce, the douchebag), but I do editing for an online publishing company. So she asked about the books b/c she reads a lot on her Kindle. I told her they're like Harleqin romances, sort of. And she said what do you mean and then I explained about the m/m as opposed to the traditional m//f. I told her that this publishing company doesn't even accept m/f stories anymore and she asked why and I said b/c no one is reading them; they're all reading m/m stories. She looked at me with this face and asked why and I said, I don't know, maybe because m/f stories are boring, we live them every day, been there, done that, you know? Then she conceded and said I guess...lol So now my kid's friends' moms know I edit gay porn! lol I told her that if she Googles m/m or slash fiction, tons of sites will come up about it. I told her this one site, meaning AFF, the majority of the authors are female and they write gay erotica for a female readership, not a male one. She was amazed! Her mouth just hung open! I wonder if she actually Googled it when she went home! lol

It was funny. Hey, I'm just trying to educate the women of today about reading gay porn!

[Guest]

LOL because she's Catholic! Most are pretty homophobic, if they're the conservative kind. Hell, I used to be, before I became an atheist. I thought it was "unnatural" and didn't think my point of view was in any way offensive or illogical.

No, she will never know I write this stuff! Man, I can imagine the reaction. She probably would never let me see her kids again!

I'm wondering if I should respond to your Crave reviews here. I don't see much of a point of making a new thread for Crave, since you're like the last reader. The lone ranger, lol.

I hadn't really thought about the kids knowing Hugh from school. He was supposed to be there a year and then follow Jamie to Boston. At least I think that was the story. But I've totally forgot the plot. Pretty sad, huh?

[LisaT2525]

There was this guy I was seeing (read: shacked up), for seven years. Well, we shacked up 18 mos. after we met only b/c he lost his construction job and couldn't pay his rent. He's from Brazil, is illegal, no documentation, nada, so I let him live with the kids and I. About eight months ago he married someone with a green card so he could get his. Yeah, good luck with that. Anyway, he always claimed there weren't any gay people in Brazil. He's very homophobic, don't know why, although many years ago he did admit to getting a bj from a gay dude. Go figure. lol Anyway, so yeah, no gay boys in Brazil, riiiigghhhtttt. lol

So he HATED the fact that I'd be reading gay porn! He couldn't understand it and TOOK OFFENSE that I was reading this smut! Like he was insulted! lol Well, it's not like he ever took me anywhere, he'd go off with his friends and drink in someone's house and I stayed home and read gay porn. What's wrong with that? =) He just HATED it. lol

Then my real ex (the divorced one), found out I'm editing for an online publisher and he asked the name of the company and I'm like, oh shit. So I gave it to him and he hangs up. Two minutes later he calls back and goes, this is like soft porn and under my breath I'm saying there's nothing 'soft' about it. lol It's porn all right. haha He goes it says here they just stopped accepting m/f stories, they only take m/m stories now. I hope you're story is an m/m story. (meaning b/c I'll be getting paid for it). I was just surprised he even KNEW what m/m was! I never knew until I found AFF! lol Hmmm, what's HE been up to in his spare time! lol Oh yeah, shacked up with his ho and raising his illegitimate twin girls. How could I forget?

Yeah, Crave is such an awesome story, Magic! I really love it. Although much of it makes me cry. It hurts to read about how Jamie sees himself and what low self-esteem he has. I just hope he can get the help he needs to stay alive.

Speaking of which, I'm on chapter fourteen now, so I'm almost all caught up!

[Guest]

There was this guy I was seeing (read: shacked up), for seven years. Well, we shacked up 18 mos. after we met only b/c he lost his construction job and couldn't pay his rent. He's from Brazil, is illegal, no documentation, nada, so I let him live with the kids and I. About eight months ago he married someone with a green card so he could get his. Yeah, good luck with that. Anyway, he always claimed there weren't any gay people in Brazil. He's very homophobic, don't know why, although many years ago he did admit to getting a bj from a gay dude. Go figure. lol Anyway, so yeah, no gay boys in Brazil, riiiigghhhtttt. lol

So he HATED the fact that I'd be reading gay porn! He couldn't understand it and TOOK OFFENSE that I was reading this smut! Like he was insulted! lol Well, it's not like he ever took me anywhere, he'd go off with his friends and drink in someone's house and I stayed home and read gay porn. What's wrong with that? =) He just HATED it. lol

Then my real ex (the divorced one), found out I'm editing for an online publisher and he asked the name of the company and I'm like, oh shit. So I gave it to him and he hangs up. Two minutes later he calls back and goes, this is like soft porn and under my breath I'm saying there's nothing 'soft' about it. lol It's porn all right. haha He goes it says here they just stopped accepting m/f stories, they only take m/m stories now. I hope you're story is an m/m story. (meaning b/c I'll be getting paid for it). I was just surprised he even KNEW what m/m was! I never knew until I found AFF! lol Hmmm, what's HE been up to in his spare time! lol Oh yeah, shacked up with his ho and raising his illegitimate twin girls. How could I forget?

Yeah, Crave is such an awesome story, Magic! I really love it. Although much of it makes me cry. It hurts to read about how Jamie sees himself and what low self-esteem he has. I just hope he can get the help he needs to stay alive.

Speaking of which, I'm on chapter fourteen now, so I'm almost all caught up!

lmfao "his ho and his illegitimate twin girls". Yet another cheating bastard? Guys are assholes. That's what I've learned over the years. The only good guys I know are in my family.

I dated an Indian (southeast asian) and a guy from Bahrain, and both were so homophobic. My Indian bf thought that in like a hundred years, everybody would be gay. Like, a gaypocalypse. LOL. I tried to convince him that was physically impossible but he insisted it was bound to happen. We're all doomed!

Jamie's character is heavily based on my personality and life. Pretty sad, huh? In the end, my "Hugh" left me b/c my ED became more important to me than him.

Man, your job sounds fun!

[Fire_Demon]

Heya chica!

Just wanted to tell you that I'm slowly but surely reading the latest chapters but I've been soooo busy lately that I'm reading it agonizingly slow!

I've already finished ch 12(I think...the chapter title is something about Medusa and the green eyed monster!)and I've noticed the changes and they're pretty good!God I feel soooo honored that you took my opinion into consideration!

Maaan...I just found The Worst disadvantage of living in my country!I mean I love my country despite all its downsides but this is just annoying!

I have this MONUMENTAL crush on one of my female classmates (I like to consider myself bisexual ).Well...not technically 'classmates' as we have no classes in common.And I'm like, 79.6% sure she has a crush on me,too!But neither of us can nor are willing to do anything about it 'cause we can't just straight walk and ask and it's sooooo frustrating!I don't suppose you have any suggestions on what to do now do you?

[Guest]

Let me give you a pm. Not sure if that kind of advice should be public .

[Guest]

Jade 2013-11-17 id # 3000213703

So the journal was explained in an a believable way this was really good chp and smexy too-can't wait for the next one! Also I thought Elliot was 10 or 11?

@Jade: so you got my message. I feel like a stalker or something. I just took an hour and a half (during SNL - Lady Gaga was hosting and she was actually pretty good) to look at the ch over my phone, which always seems to help me see mistakes better than on my laptop. And I found, let me count them...13 grammatical mistakes and 2 issues with too frequent use of adjectives. "Little", "massive", and "embarrassment" among them. I have problems with the word massive in relation to penis size. Because I've had my fair share of men, and the average penis size is 7 inches. I find it very hard to believe my male love interest could have a 10 in cock. But, it's a story so what the hey?

This is funny b/c I have yet to address you review!

Hey I'm glad you liked this chapter. I spent a week on it, I think. I thought about it all through the day and well into the night. I thought about it when I woke up, and when I was walking the dog, you get the point! I had to reconcile a lot of little bits of the plot that are easy to mess up - like the age of Elliot, when Luke's grandpa died, how old Tony Hawk was when Fico was 11, etc. Now, if you go back and look in the earlier chapters, you'll see that Elliot is initially described by Fico as appearing around 6-7 yrs. Tilde just confirms his judgement in this chapter.

Next chapter: a scary/sexy dream of Fico and Luke together. Gotta love dream sequences!

[Guest]

I just realized that I said I only had 2 overly used adjectives, then listed 3. this is what I get for posting stuff when I'm manic. But it's my own fault for drinking coffee (which tends to tip me over into mania).

Edited November 18, 2013 by magicmau5

[Guest]

Okay, I think the next story I write is going to have a MC w/ a mental illness (not bulimia, that's too easy and I already did that) b/c man, the lives of people like me are pretty strange. It's like being on LSD all the time.

Edited November 18, 2013 by magicmau5

[Guest]

Lisa 2013-11-17 id # 3000213737

Omg, I LOVED this chapter, Magic!!!!! It was colossal! Just like Luke's dick! lol

I love their banter back and forth - especially the turd banter before Fico discussed Luke's journal. Which brings me to the seriousness of Luke's confession on how much he loves things about Fico. That was one beautiful, heartfelt paragraph. I'm surprised Fico wasn't bawling his eyes out - it got me all choked up and Luke wasn't even talking about me! lol

I'm glad he explained himself to Fico. Fico shouldn't think that all Luke wants him for is his body.

I just hope the confession of love on both their parts wasn't too soon.

Fico was so cute when he got so excited about wearing Luke's ring. Funny, we use Josten's too. I guess I didn't realize they're all over the country.

I thought Tilde's talk with Fico went really well. She is such a sweet mom. And hey, now at least Fico knows that if Luke ever confessed to his mom about how he feels about Fico, she would be totally understanding about it. Fico should tell Luke what his mom said about that.

This was such a terrific chapter, Magic! I was so sorry to see it end!

I'm looking foward to the next one and hoping that Fico's dick is going to be alright. =)

@Lisa:

Colossal is such a better word than massive, don't you think? Did you really get choked up? lol you're so funny. I think Fico was kind of too angry/confused to be teary. Plus I was tired of him crying like a girl every couple of seconds. But he did almost get choked up when talking to Tilde because he has mommy issues.

Yeah actually I used the MDCHS online Jostens tool to make a fake ring. Except they don't have semi-precious stone options like when I was in HS. So the opal part means it had to be custom. Pretty funny, right? Sometimes it helps for me to have a visual. I used Jostens when I was in HS. Then, I promptly lost it while washing my hands. I can't stand that wet under the ring feeling.

Yeah, about the love confessions. Of course it's way too soon. That's part of the future plot...

Hey thanks for the review and feel free to tell me the things that are wrong!