Guest Posted April 11, 2013 Report Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Bienvenidos and Welcome to Off the Wall: Review Responses 'N Stuff Off the Wall (OTW) is my latest and maybe-not-so-greatest addition to the magical wonderland of AFF. It's about a cubano skater boy, Fico, who tries to negotiate the trials of growing up Latino and gay while having an unrequited crush on the school's golden boy, Luke. It is set in present-day L.A., California, and begins in mid-August 2012 as Bishop Mora Salesian High School starts fall term. The story is peppered with words in regional Spanish dialects and a small amount of English skater slang. I've tried to reply to reviews at the bottom of each chapter, but I also want to publish my Spotify playlist. So I moved the responses here, where I can add links and stuff... The Spotify playlist containing the OTW soundtrack is available online here. Songs are added with each successive chapter. You can generally find the local files (files only available in my Spotify music library) at The Hype Machine. The reviews for OTW are available for viewing here. ***** Okay ladies and gents! I've compiled a few slang dictionaries and I'm adding them here in case you're interested or have trouble with reading the story. You may find the dictionary at http://www.netlingo.com/index.php or http://transl8it.com useful with the SMS lingo. [Terms updated for Ch 4 on 30-4-13] Off the Wall Slang (Modismos) Dictionaries Skater – English and Spanish airfeet = feet coming off the board when ollying ass knife = mess up trick and the board sticks in your butt B.E.V. = bird’s eye view for taking vids barrel = fat chick bro = friend, dude Chill sesh = hanging with friends chode = derogatory term, dried poop on your butt Cruising = travelling on the skateboard dag = interjection diamondz = perfectly executed trick Ditch = leave donut shop = the cops down = I’m down with that el ollie, etc. = all tricks are masc. el truco = Spanish for a skateboard trick, plural los trucos estilo libre = freestyle fetus = “X is such a hamster fetus” gnarly = sketchy, trick that needs work hammer gloves = protective skater gloves that pansies wear hamster = replace “fuck” around parents/cops, etc ill = sick, cool. the same as sweet, tight, rad kinked = rail with bumps on it la tabla = Spanish slang word for skateboard locals = kids who frequent a skate spot los skatos = skater kids Meh = whatever mellow = calm mobbed = bad trick monopatín = official Spanish word for skateboard noggles = lightly tap nuts with board nups = someone outperforming your tricks off the hook = cool old school = old style of skateboarding on the hook = lame props = respect to someone pusher = boastful skater schralped = taken skin off session, sesh = time you go and skate set = set of stairs sk8er boi = poser sketchy = trick that needs work sick = awesome, really cool smooth = not quite as good as diamondz suspect = a pic that looks like a trick wasn’t landed technical = new skateboarding techniques that’s sick = that is cool, awesome trasera = tail of board tricktionary = a bag of tricks so sick they need to be catalogued trippy = messes with your head trucos de piso = flat ground, flip tricks Cuban Spanish al retortero = abandoned, neglected, in chaos ajustador = bra aragán = lazy person asere or socio = friend, mate, buddy atrabancado = caught, arrested bailar con los quince latinos = to masturbate bajar al pozo = to eat pussy bemba = lips berreado = person that angers easily bicho = penis bodega = grocery store also -> resabioso bollo = pussy bollo = vulgar word for vagina bonche = joke bróder = friend (male) bruja = broke also -> joda, trajín, vacilada buscar flete = to hunt for pussy cafre = stupid person calientapigna = cockteaser carro = car chancletas = flipflops (also in Mex Span) chao = bye chavos = money cherna = gay man (derogatory) chicharrón = servile, fawning person chivato = police informant chola = head also -> jalaleva, sulatrán chor = shorts chupar = to suck cinga = fucker (female) cingao = fucker (male) cojones = balls or ‘shit!’ come pinga = dick eater comemierda = eat shit, bastard, stupid comepinga = dick sucker coño – shit!, or bastard, stupid cuidate = take care culilloso = impatient person (male) curda = alchoholic curralar = to work dale = go for it, it’s ok delgado =slim person ecobio = close male friend el chulo = pimp en carne = without money, broke eschar un palo = to fuck ese huevo quiere sal = He wants sex estas comiendo mierda = You’re eating shit este de pinga = it’s shit fiestear = partying, having a good time filtro = smart person flaquito = thin person, term of endearment fosforera = lighter frigi = fridge fuki-fuki = having sex gallego = bad lover or bad sex gandición = greed gandido = ambitious, greedy person ganso = less perjorative term for gay man, maricon is like faggot guagua = bus guatacón = sycophant guataquería = flattery güiro = head huevon = lazy irse en pira = go away jama = food jamaliche = glutton jediondo/a = stinky, smelly jodete y aprieta el culo = go fuck yourself jodido = fucked up jodienda = nuisance, annoyance jugar a los dos bandos = to swing both ways, to be bisexual lague = beer loco pinga = crazy dick maceta = rich person mamalon = male dick sucker mamar = to suck mami = mom manganzón = lazy mangon = guapo maní = marijuana maricon cingao = fucking faggot mate = intense kiss w/ tongue mi cariño = my dear one mi vida = my love, my life monado = police moni or baro = money mono = cute/pretty morranga = big cock naiclú = nightclub, bar no es fácil = life is hard, a dicho no me jodes = don’t fuck with me no sé = I don’t know Oye = hey, what’s up? pachanga = party, celebration, fiesta paja = male masturbation paja mental = masturbate also -> rumba pájaro = gay man papi = dad parejero = disrespectful pargo = gay man peste a culo = smelly ass pioloto = disreputable bar pincha = work, job pinchar = to work pincho = boss at work pinga = fuck! pinguero = male prostitute pitirre = (male) an insistent, annoying person por sí las moscas = as a precaution pulover = t-shirt Qué bola or Qué volá = what’s up?, reply is nada Qué es la que hay? = What's up? quimbar = to have sex Radio Bemba = gossip rascabuchador = peeping tom, voyeur rebambaramba = a riot, or dispute between several different ppl, or groups of ppl resiñate = fuck you (v rude) reventado = lucky person sambumbia = nasty drink or soup ser un punto = being stupid, wierd singa tu madre = fuck your mother singao = motherfucker singar = to have sex singarte un caballo = go fuck a horse suerte = good luck tacho = hair ¿Te gustas? = you like it? (the taste of food, drink) temba = over the hill tenis = sneakers titingó = a fight toto = pussy trago = a glass of an alcoholic drink trajinado/a = derision/mockery disguised ¡Tumba! = get lost! tortillera = a dyke, lesbian tu tienes cojones = You’ve got balls/guts vaciladera = lustful gaze vandalaje = vandalism vapor = anger vejentud = old age verdura = truth verraco/a = naïve or an idiot vete a cagar = go take a shit vete a cingar = go fuck yourself vete a tu pigna = fuck off viejuco/a = term of endearment for a parent viruta = coins vistilla = perfect vision, or vanity/pride vivir = to look at lustfully also -> virulilla viyaya = naughty boy/child vuele = "flying" - altered state due to drugs yaya = small skin wound, or small imperfection (of anything) yegua = gay man yeguada = stupidity, nonsense yin = jeans yira = money yuma = gringo, foreigner yunta = close male friend zangandongo = large zanguango = silly, stupid zanguanguería = silly, stupid (derogatory) zicote = foot odor zicotudo = person with smelly feet zocotroco = stupid person zoquetada = arrogance, pride zoquete = haughty, presumptuous, arrogant zunzún = zipper zurdo = inept, clumsy zusnar = to sleep Mexican Spanish More at: http://www.mexicoguru.com/mexican-slang-english.php al aparto = penis/cock ¡Aguas! = look out! Watch out! Alíviate = chill out Alucinante = amazing, mind-bending ándale = come on, faster Antro = dance club apapachar = to cuddle a todo dar = far out, fabulous, great Ay Dios altísimo = oh god almighty baboso = idiot besa mi culo = kiss my ass bicho = cock bolillo = racial slur for white person bolo = gig, concert Bueno pues = Whatever Cabron/a = bastard caca pasa = shit happens ¡Cállate! = shut up! carnal = close friend carnalita = little sister chale! = No way, give me a break chamaco = vulgar word for young boy chaqueta = male masturbation Chécalo = check it out chela = beer chevre = beerchido = cool Chilito = little dick chilpayate = young boy ¡Chin! = bummer! Chingado/a = fucker chingao = fuck! Chingate = fuck you chingón = awesome, cool guy, badass chirula = cock Chocho = cunt Chupa mi pito = suck my cock/dick Comprendes, mendes? = cute way of saying ‘understand me?’ cosito/a lindo/a = pretty little thing (masc. cosito, fem. cosita) Example: Mi cosito lindo means "my pretty little thing", and it refers to a man or boy.cruda = hangover culero = asshole ¡Dale a la madre! = fuck him up! (in a fight) De nada, limonada = Cute way of saying ‘you’re welcome’ Dios mío = my god Dios te bendiga = God bless you Don Perfecto = Mr. Right el mayate = faggot el morrongo = penis/cock el quebracho = faggot el quebrachon = faggot el retazo macizo = penis/cock el rul = asshole el rulacho = asshole el zorrero = jerk, fool, dumbass está de pelos! = that's hot! That's cool! Estar flechado = to be love struck este… = ummm…. Face = Facebook gallito = tough guy güero/a = blond, light colored person, a white person Hablamos más tarde = talk to you later Harto/harta = a lot, tons hijo jesu = oh my god híjole = Christ! Idiota (only fem.) = idiot, stupid jeta = face jota = gay man la reata = penis/cock la riata = penis/cock loco de remate = out of his/her mind maleton = SOB mande = what did you say? Pardon me? maricon = faggot (also same in Cuban slang)Menso/a = idiot Me vale mierda = I don't give a shit mi bien = my darling, my love Mirón = an oggler, a person that stares mocoso = a brat ¡Moles! = Oops! mohadas = faggot?? muerdeal = faggot Oiga = Listen ¡Órale! = right on! Cool! Oye = hey! listen up! naco = hick nel = "no" Niño Fresa/niña Fresa = rich kid, spoiled brat, preppie ¡No manches! = no way! N'ombre = No way No mames! = get outta here, no way! - same as 'no manches' palo = sex panzon = fatso papi chulo =hot guy, hunk para chuparse los dedos = finger-lickin good parchar = to fuck Pelón melón = bald guy Pendejadas = nonsense, ridiculous actions Pendejo/a = bastard picaflor = faggot pichi = baby pinche = fucking ____ pinche cabron = fucking asshole príncipe azul = Prince Charming puñatero = masturbator puta = fucking ____ , or whore Puta barata = cheap whore (fem.) Puta madre = motherfucker puto = faggot rata = thief ratero = thief sale = alright - used at the end of a thought ¡Salud! = cheers! sancho = fuck buddy sangrón = stuck up person sepa = I don't know sepa la sopa = I don't know (funny way of saying it) simón, de la Rosa = yes, right on (you can also just say simón by itself to mean the same thing) sueño erotico = erotic dream, wet dream tarugo = stupid person tatema = head ¿Qué chingados quierer? = WTF do you want? Qué huele? = What's up? Qué onda? = What's up? Qué padre = That's tight Qué pedo? = What's up? Una Paliza = a thrashing, a beating un chingo = a fuckload un favorzote = a big favor vale = yeah, alright, okay ¡Vamos de pinta! = let's ditch class vete al carajo! = Go fuck yourself! vete al infierno! = go to hell! yesca = marijuana ¡zócalo! = OMG! zurramato = dumbass Colombian Spanish ala = jeez a la verga = fuck or dammit almacén = shop (store) andén = pavement, sidewalk arepera = lesbian arrecho = turned on avión = clever person ¡Ay güevón! = refer pitifly between guys, "Oh man!" bacán, bacano/a = someone or something cool, kind, friendly bareta = joint, blunt of weed baúl = trunk of a car berraco/a = someone awesome, hardcore, worthy of admiration, "the man" birra = beer bochinchero = rumormongerer, gossiper, makes up stories behind someone's back bolqueta = drunk bomba = balloon, or a fuel pump buzo = turtleneck sweater cabeciduro = stubborn person cacorro = gay man caliente = dangerous camello = job, or heavy work cana = jail caneca = trash basket cantaleta = repetitive scolding caña = bluff, bragging, or rum capar = to play truant caspa/calilla = badly behaved person catorce = a favor chichipato = cheapskate chito = prick chino = child chupa = police officer cojo = someone weak or with lack of sense colorete = rouge comelon = glutton, pig como fue que? = what up? what's going on? cotejo = soccer match culear = to have anal sex culebra = debt dormilon = sleepyhead, ppl that love to sleep duro = skillful embarrarla = to make a grave mistake Eschemos un polvo = let’s have sex esfero = pen filo = hunger flaquito = my little skinny one (? not sure if Cuban or Col.) fresco = "be cool!" gallina = coward gonorrea = vile/disgusting person/thing guayabo = hangover güevón = dude, bro, lazy, or idiot depending on circumstances hacerse el gringo = to feign ignorance hembro = female or gay slang for handsome guy hijueputa = SOB hueco = pothole, or jail, or faggot irrespeto = disrespect jopo = ass jincho or chapeto = drunk jurgo = plethora, a lot Le quiebro el culo = I'll kick his ass levantar = to seduce, or to beat/thrash listo = all right, something cool or okay llave = friend lobo = bad taste lo pille = I caught you maluco = bad mamola = no way mamón = boring, annoying marica = dude, bro, or faggot marimba = marijuana maricondas = joking around Me voy a echar un motoso = I am going to have a nap mijo/mija = buddy, pal mono = like güero - blond, fair-haired no joda! = nuh- uh!, get outta here!, get lost! no me joda! = Don't bother me! nonas, nonos = no No se haga el pendejo = don’t play stupid ñero or mañé = ghetto, street, nasty ni por el berraco = no way no le pare bolas = don't pay attention to him/her Ojo! = Be careful! Watch out! paja = lie, falsehood, or masturbation paila = bad luck, not good pa las que sea! =I'm up for anything! parar bolas = to pay attention parche = band pedo = a big problem pichar or tirar = to have sex piedra = anger pilas! = be carful, wake up, watch out pille eso = look at that pilo = smart pinga or verga = dick pirovo or gorzovia = dumb pochola = beer pola = beer Pollo/polla = boyfriend/gf Poner los cachos = To cheat in a relationship porfa = please prendido = tipsy Qué boleta = How embarrassing Qué caspa = how bad Qué hubo? = What's up? Qué mamera = That's boring Qué maricada = dammit/fuck Qué mas? = What's up? Qué soda = how cool also - > Qué chimba, Qué verraquera, Qué putería rascando = drunk remalparido/a = a big bastard (very rude) rola/rolo = someone from the capital Bogotá ruñidera or ruñiendo= to talk about people behind their backs sapo = meddler sisas = yes storbar = to disturb tinto = black coffee tetra hijueputa = huge SOB tomba = the police tombo = police officer tractocamión = truck tragado = having a crush on someone vallase al carajo = fuck off vallase a la mierda = fuck off venirse = to come, I’m going to come = voy a venirse viejo = dude, friend, dad ¿vientos o maletas? = How are things? Guatemalan Spanishhueco = gay man huevón = lazy coche = pig chancuaco = cigarette chito = kiss waquear = to vomit General Latin Amer. Spanish a ver = let's see aguafiesta = party pooper almas gemelas = soulmates atún = idiot Ave María Purísima = for heaven's sake ¡Ay qué rico! = Wow that's delicious! bárbaro = fantastic or hot man bepi = little kid (boy) bobo/a = fool boite = nightclub bombón = hot, sexy man bromista = joker cada hijo de vecino = everyone calentar = to arouse cañon = hot, sexy caramba = you know, come on… caray = jeez, damn chévere = great, fantastic chiquero = pig sty, dirty room chupamedia = teacher's pet cielos = gosh cien por cien = precisely, 100% ¡Claro que sí! = Yes, of course! cole = school cuidado = be carefulculo = ass, butt desa = breakfast di que sí = go for it Don Nadie = loser el último grito = the latest thing en cuerpo y alma = body and soul en serio = seriously, really? enamoradizo/a = someone that easily falls in love epa = wow! estar al palo = to have an erection estar pedo = to be drunk felices sueños = sweet dreams finde = the weekend gilí = silly, stupid girafa = very tall person hacer el amor con… = make love w/ someone hacer toros = skip class hacer un papelón = embarrass oneself hijo de puta = SOB hoy mismo = today joraca = damn, shit justo a tiempo = just in time juerga = blast, good time largate = go away leche = cum llevar juntos = to be together as a couple lo antes possible = ASAP lompas = pants Loteria! = Bingo! Got it! mamada = blow job no mames = don't kid with me mamonceta = bastard, little fuck mas o menos = more or less mate = mathematics me la trae floja = I don't give a fuck me vale verga = I don't give a fuck metete un pelo en un culo = stick it up your ass mira = look momento = wait, wait a sec morirse de rise = die laughing nada del otro mundo = nothing special nena = girl, chick ni a palos = no way ni en broma = no way ni modo = no way ni torta = no clue ni verga = no fucking way, you've gotta be kidding no pasa nada = no prob, no big deal no tiene caso = it's a waste of time otra vez = again, once more painte = pain in the neck, nuisance partirese en alma = make someone's heart bleed peli = film, flick perder la cabeza = fall madly in love with someone picar = nibble on mi pichón = my dear pirado/a = crazy pobrecito/a = poor baby, poor kid por cierto = by the way pura sabrosura = That's really tasty/yummy/juicyqué lastima = what a shame qué onda = what's up? qué yo so = whatever regla = period (menstruation) resaca = hangover sabelotodo = knowitall sacar a algn de quicio = drive someone crazy sangrón/sangrona = annoying, irritating (adj.) ser al mando = be at someone's command ser la monda = be a blast, be really funny siete nueve = 69 (sexual position) sin duda = w/o a doubt subte = subway (train) tacote = marijuana tal vez = probably tanque = fat person tarde o temprano = sooner or later tele = TV venir = to come (sexually) ya es hora = it's about time yo que se = how would I know? Edited May 22, 2013 by magicmau5 Quote
Guest Posted April 11, 2013 Report Posted April 11, 2013 Faust 2013-03-20 id # 3000204862 I knew a guy in HS that was a lot like Fico. I loved him to bits. One question though, what the bloody hell kinda class is Christian Lifestyles? @Faust: Christian Lifestyles is an actual class at Salesian High. It's about the New Testament and other Godly things. You can check out the school website for yourself. Lisa 2013-03-20 id # 3000204887 Love, love, love this story so far! Love Fico's friends, but don't quiz me on their names, I'd fail! Poor Fico, but just b/c Luke said something stupid, doesn't mean he's a homophobe. I also love your username. I really like the group DeadMau5 also and immediately thought of them when I saw your name. =)I'm looking forward to the next chapter! @Lisa: Thank you so much for the compliment! Fico is a little hot headed, I know. Quote
Guest Posted April 11, 2013 Report Posted April 11, 2013 Anon 2013-03-23 id # 3000204983 I absolutely love this story! Your style of writing is unique and it draws me in like a fly to a lamppost. I can't wait for more! @Anon: Thank you so much! I like this story too. I was having trouble writing the 27th chapter of The Invasion of Ian, which is really gloom-and-doom, and I thought, it'd be nice to write an upbeat story. So Fico and Luke were born! ger 2013-03-23 id # 3000205004 ok here is the hting i am half cuban and half of the slang you are using is mexican not cuben like cabron, singno, pendejo, and alot of the way that cubens act the first is that a cuben by them self my be quit but in a group they can get verey loud and thou they may care if you are gay on a whole they well just take it in yell and ether send you to a family membere or just excepet and the guy would just make a lot of gay jokes. Now if you need to use slang go for vete al carajo, hijueputa, come mierda, yanky, and serie when taking to a frind manly other cubens but you did use que bola correctly. I did not edit it so some thing are misspeled. @ger: Thanks for the review, I really appreciate a cubano's input. First of all, this is a fictional world, where Fico's friends are accepting of him being gay (which is really unlikely IRL). I'm using a lot of literary license in that respect. Second of all, most of Fico's friends are mexicanos (and the majority of Hispanics in Cali are mexicanos), so they share a lot of slang. I haven't given a lot of details about his friends yet, but I will in later chapters. Lastly, I am a mexicana, and we don't use the verb singar. Yes, we use carnalita (little sister), menso/a (idiot), jodar (to fuck), pendejo/a (bastard), cabron/a (bastard, or between friends, dude), guapo (hot, cute), chulo/a (pretty; in Cuban slang it means pimp), chisme (gossip), Dios mio (my God), etc., but definitely not singar, asere, yuma, or chao. We prefer the verb chingar over singar. Like, fuck you is chingate, and fucker is chingado/a. Jade 2013-04-04 id # 3000205460 Oooooooh-want more! I am very much enjoying this story-can't wait fot the next update (: @Jade - Thanks It takes a while for me to write this because I'm doing a shitload of research for it. I keep trying to write, but I have a ton of RW distractions. Blast that real world! Quote
Guest Posted April 11, 2013 Report Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Lisa 2013-04-04 id # 3000205471 I don't know what rock I was hiding under that I missed this update! I went back to the first chapter to reread it to re-familiarize myself with the story and saw your reviewer responses and got confused b/c it was the first chapter. I kept going back to see if there was a prologue and I missed something. Then I realized that you just put the responses there instead of at the bottom of chapter two.Anyway...terrific chapter! I laughed about the Ivies, b/c Stanford is considered "Ivy Plus", along with Duke, U of Chicago, and some others. And the eight Ivies are all on the east coast, so if he gets in, he'll have to travel. I loved the line: 100% Grade-A-gay; that was hysterical! Loved that thing about having an owner's manual for straight people, gay, etc. Great idea, right? But I was confused: if he has a blog and he talks about other guys, and people read his blog, wouldn't they already know about him?How does Luke know Fico's Twitter name if moved there so recently? I'm sorry if it's a stupid question. I can't figure out Twitter for the life of me, tried to tweet something and then never saw it again. lol So I don't know...Ok, on to chapter three! Oh, and I love the slang and the Spanish words you put in there. A couple of years ago there was this terrific story on here and it centered around a high school kid in LA and he was Latino and she peppered every chapter with these great Spanish words and I just think they add so much to the story. =) Lisa 2013-04-04 id # 3000205480 What an awesome chapter Magic! My mouth fell open when Jose was making out with that other dude. Man, was that rude! lol I have a feeling that Fico is going to claim Joaco (is that the way it's spelled?) heart the same way Luke claimed his. And Luke was flirting with him earlier. Fico may just get what he wished for. lolIs there really such a site as taxifare.com? That's a pretty convenient thing to know. I know exactly how Fico feels when people screw up his name. Happens to me all the time, which is why I take the first letter off.Oh, I had a question: you mention all these songs at the beginning of the chapter, but they're nowhere in the chapter. I was looking forward to "hearing" MCR's Teenagers. Awesome song. All the others, never heard of before. lol Oh! Are they just suggested songs to listen to while reading? You know, I can never concentrate on the story if there's music that I'm singing to. @Lisa: a) Ficos's blog is under a pseudonym and written in Spanish - which you would have found out later but who cares right? b) Tweets spread like wildfire, and if anyone in a gossip-prone school finds out juicy info on someone, they share it with everyone they know. Twitter and Facebook are really just gossip (chisme in Mexican Spanish or Radio Bemba in Cuban Spanish) machines. c) Oooh I want to read that story! If you remember it, tell me please! d) Yeah that website is real. How do you think I know it takes $19.14 to get to Rage from the office? lol e) Fico is like me in that respect too. I hate my name! f) The songs are suggestions to listen to while you are reading, before, after, or while you're wishing I'd update ASAP. Anon 2013-04-05 id # 3000205502 well god luck to him. he's gonna need it. luke is a bit 2d, you should make him more 3d carachter. and fico should use a condom. for his own good. other then that I'm enjoying this story very much:D @Anon: More about Luke in the next chapter . Don't worry about Fico, he's got a good head on his shoulders. Edited April 11, 2013 by magicmau5 Quote
Guest Posted April 29, 2013 Report Posted April 29, 2013 Lisa 2013-04-28 id # 3000206482I kept thinking about this story every day wondering when it would be updated. I'm so glad you're continuing with it. I think Joaco (damn, I probably spelled that wrong. Sorry), is such a nice guy. He would be good for Fico, despite the six year age difference.But then again, on the other hand there's Luke...and we don't know much about him.Anxiously awaiting the next chapter. @Lisa: Thanks for the review! I keep thinking about it every day too, I just don't always get the chance to write. I've done maybe too much research for it, and not enough writing. Sometimes I just have no creativity in me . I had more for this chapter, but I felt bad that I hadn't updated it in a while, so I split it up in two parts. I promise the next chapter has lots of Luke in it. Quote
Guest Posted April 30, 2013 Report Posted April 30, 2013 Angela 2013-04-30 id # 3000206526Hi !! I am currently reading your story and i really like it !! It really nice seeing fanfiction with spanish some of the things are not correct but still is really amusing i wanted to tell you that if you need any help you can ask me if you want to !!!:Dkeep it going !! @Angela: Oh thanks I would LOVE some help! I'll take you up on that! Quote
Guest Posted May 1, 2013 Report Posted May 1, 2013 Raven 2013-04-30 id # 3000206542HELLO I just wanted to let you know that I adored your story and the way you put your words onto paper. (or the internet)lol @Raven: :D That's really sweet of you to say! I'm trying to get better, I know I have a long ways to go. Quote
Guest Posted May 15, 2013 Report Posted May 15, 2013 (edited) Jade 2013-05-15 id # 3000207020Aww-I didn't want to like Joaco and now I do-darn it I'm invested. Please update sooooooon! @Jade: I know, neither did I. I was going to make this chapter pretty long, but I broke down and thought of you poor readers who need regular updates. I took a while this time because I was away from home for a week visiting my sister and then I got sick . Edited May 15, 2013 by magicmau5 Quote
Guest Posted May 15, 2013 Report Posted May 15, 2013 lividfire 2013-05-15 id # 3000207023this was a well balanced chapter. very funny and slice of life. And fyi in my country we only get to drive cars wih sticks ahahaha;) @lividfire: Thanks for the compliment! I was aiming for funny but I was afraid it would just be really lame. I just learned how to drive stick and it's so much more fun. It's makes you feel a lot more confident on the road - and I wanted Luke to be a cool drink of water that can take command of any situation with ease. Please tell me if the jokes become lame! Quote
Guest Posted May 18, 2013 Report Posted May 18, 2013 Misakixusagi 2013-05-16 id # 3000207082Oooo i love this story, its sometimes frustrating not knowing the translations, but i thinki can work it lol cant wait for more, i like fico hehe @Misakixusagi: I'm sorry it's frustrating for you! If you have a Mac, use Command F to find the word here on this page in the dictionaries section. I'm glad you like Fico, he's probably my fave MC that I've written so far. Quote
Guest Posted May 18, 2013 Report Posted May 18, 2013 Fire_Demon 2013-05-17 id # 3000207096Oh wow!This is one fluffy romantic story here!Me likie! I love how you use texts and twits to move the story on and involve minor characters more! Lol!In the bar scene I was all but nagging out loud :'Really Fico?You go home with a perfect stranger whose ride (which supposedly is a taxi) is a creepy black car with tinted windows?Seriously has your mom thought you nothing?You don't go with strangers even if they say they'll give you candy and sex in the car!' And the whole car ride I was like:'This is really suspicious.But the guy is cute...It's really suspicious and creepy...but it's soooo cute...this is probably how Jack the Ripper lured his victims...but it's so goddamn CUTE!'Glad nothing happened.Though I still have a little suspicion.I mean the guy appears to be a hot,gorgeous,kin,gentleman MODEL but he is insecure enough to 'spy' on his crush instead of just charming his way and confronting him directly.But!he's still very cute!Fico is one lucky bastard!This Joaquín fellow seems to really like nicknames!First it's going to be Sugar Pumpkin and Fico-kins then it'll be Fico-poo and honey muffin and Fico-boo-bear... Fico...dear...you go out with your crush and you probably have to sit next to him for maybe hours and you go commando???Really?With skinny jeans no less....You said you had an accident right?One starts to wonder... So I guess Fico is really really hot and gorgeous?Judging by how everyone seem to have a crush on him… I'd say Luke is one closeted hotie if not actually out.I mean he could've wanted to say:'You seem so normal.Finally!A normal gay guy!let's go out!' but they interrupted him and the Fico went and sent that twit,leading everyone to believe he's gay. I don't get it...Is Quique gay?He appears to be but there's no mention... Come on!Update soon! @Fire_Demon: I'm glad you like the use of texts and tweets, I wasn't sure if people would think it's stupid or juvenile. I'm not sure about the formatting of the texts, but I haven't read that many stories that involve them so I wasn't sure how to format it. I don't think Joaco will say "Fico-poo" or the like, but he is fond of nicknames, isn't he? I was even going to have Fico comment on that, but I think I forgot about it. I like to think of Fico as really hot, but he thinks he's more on the average side. I won't say anything about Luke's sexual orientation here because you'll find out later . Quique isn't gay, but he does like to talk about sex a lot and tease Fico. I'm working on the next chapter right now, I have about 2 pages, and I try to publish at least 5 in each chapter. I'll try to get this one out faster than last time. Quote
Guest Posted May 20, 2013 Report Posted May 20, 2013 Fire_Demon 2013-05-18 id # 3000207113When everything is solved and stuff can you please write the first chapter from Luke's point of view?Pleeeaaasseee?*batting eyelashes**puppy dog eyes*It'd be legen-wait for it...wait for it...-DARY! *In the last review I meant to say "...and leading everyone to believe he's straight."But it came out wrong!I guess even in my subconscious I believe Luke is gay! @Fire_Demon: Haha that's an interesting idea. I'll think about it. Quote
Guest Posted May 21, 2013 Report Posted May 21, 2013 Jade 2013-05-20 id # 3000207198Aaaaah! The build up's slow-but good! Def. keep reading. @Jade: For some reason I feel like the build up is too fast, but glad to hear you think it's slow. Quote
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Lisa 2013-05-21 id # 3000207211I was cracking up at the Twitter conversation. It took me awhile to get thru every line. I can't imagine how long it took YOU to write it. lol Although if you are proficient in it, then it didn't take you any time at all. I thought Joaco was so cute in this chapter. Awwww, he's had a crush on Fico for awhile now, huh? He's so sweet. Now I don't want Fico to upset him and break his heart. lolOk, on to the next chapter. @Lisa: I've been biting my nails hoping you'd post a review again. Thanks! Yeah, I'm not exactly proficient at SMS/textese, so it did take me like a day or two to piece it all together. I had to read it over and over again to make sure it made sense. FYI, sometimes I use transl8it.com for help with that. It actually takes me quite a while to write the whole thing, because I go through it several times to make sure I don't reuse adjectives and phrases. I honestly don't know how some AFF writers churn out a chapter every few days, and still manage to create a great story. Quote
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Lisa 2013-05-21 id # 3000207212Mio Dios! Hahah, ok, maybe it's Dios Mio? Ok, I admit, I don't know Spanish, but I want to say OMFG Fico!!!!! You idiot!!!!! I want to smack him upside his head!!!! He's crushing on Luke, he'd LOVE to get with Luke, but he's flaunting Joaco in front of Luke's face. He noticed when Luke started driving fast right after he mentioned Joaco, he noticed Luke tensing up after Fico mentioned Joaco AGAIN, and he even answered JOACO'S call, what the hell's up with that???? You NEVER do that if you're interesting in someone, especially someone who's giving off all sorts of 'not-so-straight' vibes. lol And then to top it all off HE MENTIONS RIPPING CLOTHES OFF AND TALKING TO JOACO EARLY THAT MORNING AND HOW HE CAN'T SLEEP OVER, OMFG FICO!!!! Stop!!!!!! lol Luke's gonna have an aneurysm!This is such an awesome story Magic! I just wish I heard of 1/4 of the songs mentioned. haha @Lisa: It's Dios mio - Spanish does it backwards. Yeah Fico is so effing clueless. He's totally convinced that Luke is straight, and naive enough to believe Luke's word, so he doesn't understand the signals Luke is sending. I'm so happy you like the story, it's really hard to produce, and I get down comparing myself to other, better writers here. If you have some concrit too that'd be wonderful to hear. Last.fm, Spotify, and YouTube are great sources to hear the music for free. Quote
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 (edited) Lisa 2013-05-21 id # 3000207213Oh, and I meant to mention in my last review: about the wrestlers: my middle son is captain of the varsity team and NONE of them, as far as I know, wear jock straps under their singlets. And come to think of it, on the cover of the USA Wrestler magazine, they always show a college wrestler and none of them have jocks on either. I don't know, would a jock even FIT under those tight singlets comfortably anyway? Hmmm Anyway, thought I'd mention it. @Lisa: Good to know! I'll try to fix it, maybe just cut the jock strap bit out entirely. Update: I took out the bit, no mention of j straps at all. Thanks so much! Edited May 22, 2013 by magicmau5 Quote
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 ds 2013-05-21 id # 3000207215I just wanted to say I love your story! I can't wait for Luke to fall for Fico...they're so cute. @ds: Wow here I was feeling sorry for myself that I wasn't getting reviews for this chapter, and then like four fall in my lap all at once! Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad that some people enjoy the story. I'll keep trying my best to make it worth your while. Quote
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Fire_Demon 2013-05-22 id # 3000207229Great chapter! Ohdear god…now I know some people are really modest and some others don't want to have false hope for it to only be crushed and take them with them but not to this degree!!! I mean even if you were one of Oggy's cockroaches you would realize when someone clearly had a thing for you!And Fico is definitely not a cockroach!(he isn't...right?) Luke is so obviously taken by him he can't even walk right!!(every pun intended!)He's singing him songs and stares at him and is getting jealous over him!...Come to think of it....I wonder if he goes out with Fico and the others next week,is he going to get into a fight with Joaco over something ridiculous?He seems like the type…I need some!Give me some! @Fire_Demon: I'm so glad you liked the chapter, I was thinking it was kind of lackluster. I mean, there wasn't a lot of action in it. I tried to flesh out Luke's character, and wasn't sure I was successful or not. I know, Fico is kind of an idiot, isn't he? He's really stuck on the idea that Luke is straight, and can't see past that. Quote
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Tahylor 2013-05-22 id # 3000207242I really love this story and I'm looking forward to seeing Luke and Fico's relationship develop. I hope Fico doesn't remain a blind idiot for too much longer because Fico and Luke seem like they will be seriously hot together and I want a Fico/Luke sexplosion!!! I also hope that Luke goes to Rage with Fico and his friends. I would love to see Luke and Fico dance and/or some drama between Luke and Joaco! Still not sure how I feel about Joaco though. For some reason he strikes me as being really weird/shady but I'm not exactly sure why...oh well. Waiting patiently for the next chapter :-) @Tahylor: Wow yet another review! I feel like dancing and eating lots of chocolate all at once. Yeah I'm not sure what's going to happen b/w Luke & Joaco. I'm just on the first page of Ch7 now and I've moved the weekend shindig to a different location, they still may or may not go to Rage. Sexplosion - good word! You may be feeling off about Joaco b/c he took Fico home in a shady car. I think Joaco may have some secrets he hasn't shared with his friend! Quote
Guest Posted May 23, 2013 Report Posted May 23, 2013 Tes 2013-05-23 id # 3000207268Thank you for writing this story..I really like it. I am guessing Fico's lover is going to turn into psyco when he finds out that Fico is in love with Luke . I dont understand how can a mom be so stupid and cold hearted! I am a mother of a girl and a boy.. i cannot imagine kicking them out of the home becausee of their sexuallity preference...Love should be unconditional! Stupid woman! @Tes: You're welcome and thank you for writing a review. I'm kind of a review junkie. I know, his mom seems pretty cold-hearted but in her mind, she is doing what's best for him. A lot of Catholics think that homosexuality is a choice, and therefore something that can be overcome with prayer and/or willpower. She thinks that given enough "tough love", Fico will see the error of his ways and "repent". Obviously, she's pretty misguided and living in an alternate reality... Quote
Guest Posted May 23, 2013 Report Posted May 23, 2013 Fire_Demon 2013-05-23 id # 3000207269Oh wow...Really?Wow...wow....WOW! How could his mother possibly do that?I mean Fico was the perfect son!How could she possibly reach to the decision that she should kick him out?!That's just...so...cruel! Thank god then that he had Joaco!And that he's 18 and working so he can like rent a place or something... I think she deserved what Fico said.What she did was down right cruel that shouldn't be done to anyone much less her only son and the only man of the house... Can't wait for more! @Fire_Demon: Sadly, it's actually a pretty common phenomenon for parents to kick out their gay teens. He's really lucky he had somewhere to go. Quote
Guest Posted May 23, 2013 Report Posted May 23, 2013 Tahylor 2013-05-23 id # 3000207293Well...didn't expect that lol. I feel terrible for Fico. I just don't understand how his mother (or any parent!) could do that to her child. Just awful and I'm glad he at least has somewhere to go. Interested to see how living with Joaco goes. Hopefully he doesn't suck Fico's nipples straight off his body in his sleep... @Tahylor: I didn't really plan on this turn of events - my brain hijacked my fingers and typed it out for me. There's a little explanation above re: his mom's motivations. Fico's going to wear some pajamas to bed lol. Quote
Guest Posted May 24, 2013 Report Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) kellankyle 2013-05-24 id # 3000207310The positive is...I really like this story and I hope you continue. I love Luke and cannot wait for him and Fico to get together. It will happen eventually, right? Now this is my opinion: The text language is annoying and distracting. I find myself skipping over it because I cannot decipher what the characters are saying. I text, my kids text, their friends text, my friends text and we ALWAYS use proper grammar and punctuation. Do people really text like this anymore?Also, the flipping into Spanish is also very distracting. I AM Cuban (American) and we never flip like that, not to mention that Cuban, Mexican and Columbian are completely unique conversationally.I just wish you would just plainly tell the story. We know their nationalities. That should really be enough. I really want to get to the hearts of these people. It's a great story with wonderful characters. It doesn't need all of the embellishments.Please know that this is JMO. @kellankyle: Thanks for the review, I appreciate the honesty. I'm sorry you think the texts and Spanish are distracting. The problem is, even if I were to change my writing style in the way you suggest, I have already set a precedent for that style and other readers have come to expect it. Some other readers have said they liked the addition of Spanish and the use of texts and tweets, and I think it's just different for each person. I personally can easily read the texts, and they seem fairly obvious to me, but that's because I tend to text that way. I would like to text with proper grammar, etc but I get impatient. Maybe it's different with you and your friends/family, but we do flip back and forth into Spanish, especially when we just can't remember the word in English!. There are also some things that sound better in Spanish, or have a meaning that isn't easily translated. I will continue to write the same way, so I suggest that if you don't like reading the story, maybe move onto a different one that you feel more comfortable with. That said, thank you so much for the concrit, and I wish you happy reading! Edited May 24, 2013 by magicmau5 Quote
Guest Posted May 26, 2013 Report Posted May 26, 2013 Fire_Demon 2013-05-26 id # 3000207404The title is nice.I mean it's far better than 'chapter one' right? God I sure hope Fico doesn't cheat on Joaco.The guy's too nice for something like that to happen ro him.But oddly enough I'm still suspicious of him…I dunno…Cutting his mother of completely doesn't sound like a really good ideq.I mean he could have a mother complex for ever.js.Duuude!Can't wait for the weekend to roll around!Luke and Joaquín's introduction to each other is bound to be amusing! @Fire_Demon: Thanks. I don't like stories without chapter names - it bugs me. That is, unless the author is super awesome amazing. I don't think Fico will cheat on Joaco, but we'll see . Fico is so hot headed, he makes decisions without a clear head. At this point, he's steaming angry at his mother, and can't think beyond that feeling of betrayal, which is why he misses Joaco so much. Joaco at this point is turning into a father-figure. Yeah I'm going to take a wee break before starting in on The Troubadour chapter, but I think it'll be fun! Quote
Guest Posted May 26, 2013 Report Posted May 26, 2013 Lisa 2013-05-26 id # 3000207405That whole scene with Fico and his mother was really sad. It's so obvious she loves him and wants him to be safe. But she should never have "chosen" her religious beliefs (ridiculous as they are in today's day and time), over her son, her own flesh and blood. I just hope that their relationship is salvagable. Joaco is such a doll. I'm really wary though b/c he already made Fico promise he'd never cheat on him or shut him out of his life like he did his mother. I'm wary b/c Fico is still infatuated with Luke and who knows where that will go.Awesome chapter, as always Magic. And thanks for the quick updates! Have a great Memorial Day. @Lisa: My whole family are very strict Roman Catholics, and although none are homosexual (at least none are out) I know that if they did come out to our parents, they would be in effect excommunicated. My parents are too soft-hearted to throw their kids out, but I know for a fact that many Catholic parents aren't so kind. Either that, or they make their child's life such a living hell that they are forced to flee. It's pretty sad, I know. I hope that some Catholic parents today aren't as hardline as Rosalia. Yeah I hope you picked up on the "I tend to be a jealous lover" clue. I've had some extra time lately and motivation to write, which is why the past two chapters have been published relatively fast. I might be slower in future but this is your Memorial Day gift. Thanks and I hope your weekend is fantastico! Quote
Recommended Posts