Need Beta {charlie And The Chocolate Factory}

[Birddi]

Greetings,

I'm doing a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory story. Involves the following:

• 
  
• Minor
  
• Possible Toys
  
• Bondage
  
• Slash
  
• Spank
  
• Mild MC/Mind-Game
  
• Anal
  

It had been a handful of years since then, and Charlie had grown quiet accustomed to the odd bouts of tongue lapping or the other quirks that seemed to plague the ever enigmatic candy man. For instance, Mr. Wonka liked purple bubble baths on Tuesdays, because in the factory, unlike the rest of the world, the week ended on Tuesday and therefore Wonka would insist on them relaxing together in a large bath of purple bubbled on Tuesdays.

Charlie liked Tuesdays for this reason.

I would like someone who is going to tell me where it's bad and where it can be fixed. I want someone who will tell me how and where I can improve it. If you can't tell me anything but 'It's good and you like it,' I thank you for your time, but I'd rather find a more critical beta.

I'd love to hear from you!

Thank you.

Cheers,

-B.