Passion, Proof, Power - Review Responses and Discussion

[Windrider Shiva]

From: Corbathy

I feel very conflicted about reading your story. On one hand, I'm dying to know what you have planned for this story since the plotline is so very, very interesting. But, on the other hand, writers in the past (and I mean the writers who are not Finnish) have butchered everything Finnish in their stories so now I'm kind of scared to read anything that somehow relates to Finland. Though I have a feeling that it won't be the case with this story. So I'll continue reading and enjoying it. Also, it doesn't hurt that I didn't find any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors in your writing. These days I tend to quit reading a story if it does not have impeccable language. Harsh, I know, but it is just so irritating to have all the mistakes distract me from the actual plot. So, keep up the excellent work! I'm looking forward to your next chapter.

Well first off, thank you for reviewing!

I understand the feeling of seeing things like that butchered - it's the reason I tend to avoid Japan-based stories... and I'm not even Japanese. So I'm trying hard not to make those mistakes. Same thing for the language/grammar; English isn't my first language, and I'm thankful I have a beta who is, since I also can't get into stories with an absurd amount of typos and grammar mistakes. I hope I'll get things right when it comes to Finland, I'm doing research on the sides - I've gone as far as learning basic conversational grammar and vocabulary... it's very interesting to me, but it's the sorta things I'm interested in XD. I don't plan on having an insane lot of references to it... but my Sammi's a proud Finn and it's inevitable. (And at least a chapter or two will take place in Helsinki, but I'm not gonna spoil why! XD)

[Windrider Shiva]

And some more responses. Thanks for the comments, they're very appreciated .

From: Kirjava01

You've got me hooked. Poor Sammi- why aren't the rest of his band/friends with him at the moment? Sounds like he needs a bit more support. I wonder how his interview went? I love the way you write and am definitely looking forward to more

Glad you're hooked! Right now, Sammi's just gone ahead to plan some things before, but the rest of his band is eventually gonna be involved. He does need support, poor thing feels so alone. But things should look up .

From: Wolfwitch

Hot yaoi set in my hometown? Yes please! Bookmarking this!

A Montrealer? Awesome! XD I'm not from Montreal, but I've been living here for 8 years (I'm actually from the Maritimes XD). Still happy to see a Quebecer around!

From: Lisa

What a terrific story so far! Pls excuse the typing. I'm on a bus headed for Vermont. Anyway great story! Can't wait for ch 3!

Have a safe trip to Vermont! (Or hope you made it safe, if you're reading this and are already there XD). I usually update on Saturdays, chapter 4 may be a little delayed (3 will be posted next Saturday), so keep looking .

[Windrider Shiva]

From: Lisa

Ah, great third chapter! Sammi's a funny guy!

Loved the two guys going at it in the soundproof room. That was too funny, and then their boss walks in. lol

Can't wait for the next update!

Oh, I noticed in chapter two, I think it was, that you spelled dictionary wrong. There's only one 'n', you spelled it dictionnary. Just in case you wanted to go back and change it...

Oh, and I almost forgot: I was curious about the Finnish names. Why isn't leva's name spelled with a capital 'l'? Even when it's at the beginning of a sentence it's spelled with a lower case 'l'.

Hi there! Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like Sammi, 'cause I like him too XD.

I'll go back for the "dictionary" typo... but for Ieva's name... is actually an uppercase 'i' and not a lowercase L. Her name isn't "Leva", but "ieva" (with the uppercase 'i,' of course.)

From: eimim

This is very interesting so far, but there is one thing bothering me. Ieva is not a Finnish name, and I'm not sure if it's intesional or not.

Her last name is so typically Finnish that it sounds odd with her first name, and it's difficult to pronounce Ieva 'in Finnish'.

Eeva would be a normal, common Finnish name.


Sorry for harping on this. It really is a great story, and I can't wait to read more.

Hi hi! Ieva's name is... semi-intentional; I originally took the name from a Finnish song (Korpiklaani - Ievan Polka) and I took a liking to it. After reading your comment, I actually had to check. Figures out it's Latvian/Lithuanian rather than Finnish... but I still think it fits her more than Eeva XD;. It's actually given me some ideas for a deeper background, as I'm still working on all these characters.

I appreciate the input though! Thank you! ^.^

Edited February 3, 2013 by Windrider Shiva

[Windrider Shiva]

Sorry for the insane delay in replies; real life kicked in and affected my productivity. But I'm back now! So here are more review replies!

From: Lisa

Awww, I liked the conversation Sammii had with his mom. They seem pretty close.

Was surprised about the fuck buddy not boyfriend lady. lol Good to know Sammi can still 'get busy' with Kevin w/o feeling guilty.

I wonder if Darren's ever going to show up. Isn't Sammi curious to find out why Darren broke up with him?

Indeed, Sammi and his mom are close, and I'll definitely include more bits like this. He's a bit of a mama's boy, so he's bound to call her every now and then. No worries, won't turn into incest XD. I kept the girl - Xue, she has a name now XD - about for the same reason. Sammi needs a positive female influence by his side, and she just fits the role more than Ieva. I couldn't have that if she wound up to be romantically involved with Kevin, so they're roommates/friends with benifits. As for Darren... will have to give it some time, but eventually, we'll learn what happened between both.

~

From: MagicMau5 (and the following 3 replies!)

Wow I love this story!!!!! I've only had time to read the first chapter, but it is FRAWESOME. I like the 1st person perspective, and the fact that he's European...does he have a hot accent? I also LOVE the colloquialisms and cursing, it makes it seem more realistic and edgy. Edgy is the best way to describe this - edgy and fresh. Keep on rockin' the pen! xoxoxo -magicmau5

Thanks for reviewing ^^. He has an accent, but it's not extremely pronounced. Personally, if I could, I would play a little with accents... but it's pretty hard to do so in writing within a serious context and keeping it understandable at the same time. Also, finding some sounds and pronunciations in modern English would be a little rough (ref. German 'ü' / French 'u' / Finnish 'y').

I'm happy the 1st person perspective is well-received. I've done it before, I usually prefer 3rd person because I can easily hop from one char's mind to another and add more depth this way. But I'm liking 1st person because I can actually be colloquial. This is what he's thinking, what he sees as he does things around, what he's going through, and it's fun to play with.

~

Ok loved ch 2 as well...and I managed to calculate his height been a long time since I used metric. I love Sammi because I felt exactly like he did when I first moved abroad. I was so EFFING LONELY and there were huge crowds of people full of stupid happy couples cuddling. I wanted to hit them with a club. Although, I was the one having the loud sex, not the other way around. But it was because I was lonely, and it never filled the emptiness inside.

This is something I went through, though at a much lesser extent than what Sammi's experiencing (I felt lonely, I still sleep with the TV on, but I don't break down... and I'm not the fuck-buddy type). Sammi's not much of a loner and doesn't handle this sudden lack of presence very well. Sure he had his own apartment in Helsinki, but he was still close to his friends and family.

~

So will Sammi and Rick Stevens hook up?

Can't answer that one, sorry! Would be giving away plot XD.

[Windrider Shiva]

From: Lisa

Yep, Sammi was riding Kevin the Cowboy, no need for horses. Firemen, cowboys, same thing. lol

It's nice that Kevin seemed like he actually cared about Sammi. He even stayed over. Even Shu-ei (forgot how it's spelled, sorry) seemed nice.

Sammi needs someone nice to get over that Darren bastard. But I'm not sure Ryan is the right one. He's a world-renowned producer and his new boss, so to speak. I still think Sammi should be professional with him and not come across as the man-whore he is. lol

Sammi isn't really a manwhore XD. He just has issues and he feels lonely, because he's the kinda guy who would normally commit to a relationship. "Normally" being the keyword, he's definitely not in the most stable environment right now. As what's coming up with Ryan, I can't say anything!

~

From: monnz

To be honest, I wasn't expecting very much when I began reading (I'm a dick...sorry) but I was definitely surprised! I'm so excited to continue reading and seeing how Sammi develops as a character. I also would like to commend you on your grammar/punctuation! Very nice! That's usually the first thing that turns me off from a story, but you're doing a great job!

The only thing I find odd about Sammi is that he's the frontman of a metal band, but he doesn't seem to have the right persona, ya know? I feel as though you're going for a "I put on a tough front but I'm so vulnerable underneath it all" personality for Sammi, but I feel like he's just coming off as kind of a pansy. The fact that he's tiny seems to add to that even more. That's probably just my own interpretation...

Anyway, your sex scenes are pretty fucking hot. Good job!

Well, thanks for being honest, I appreciate that XD. My beta catches my mistakes as well as my awkward French-to-English sentences and sayings, else chapters would look even more awkward XD.

Sammi's a bit odd, I agree. As I was mentioning earlier, he has issues and he is vulnerable. I just haven't come around to the issues in depth yet. Sammi's impulsive, but in a constant stance of vigilance; if he gets the feeling to fight, he will fight back. Blindly. If he's scared, he'll just cower and hope for things to end quickly. Think of him as cornered wild animal, or rather, an animal that realizes he's bound to get cornered.

He tends to see the world in black and white; he tries to see all the shades, but somewhere, something keeps bringing him back to the whole "black or white, it can't be both" thing. That's why he's so... "dualistic." One moment he's paranoid, the other he doesn't care anymore. He's a tiny little (somewhat) submissive thing in a stereotypical "brute" environment... but he doesn't feel at ease in the LGBT community because he loves metal music and everything around it. So he's stuck in the middle and he does not like it. (And then, he stops caring, because he hates being in that middle area.) That's one example. He's complex, and we'll get to see a lot more of him.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Windrider Shiva

[Windrider Shiva]

From: Lisa

I think Sammi's getting too wound up in the whole date thing. Ryan is his boss now & that should come 1st.

I am curious as to why Ryan wants to meet a/Sammi though. Hope he's not leading Sammi on. Lol

Sammi's getting wound up alright XD. But he gets wound up in about just anything~. As for Ryan... I don't wanna spoil anything! ^^

[Windrider Shiva]

From: LockedBox

This is a very compelling story, and it has a lot more to offer than the summary suggests. It’s instantly unique for it’s use of the metal genre, Canadian setting and Finnish main character, which is a very far cry from the usual rock star fic fair. While the metal genre is a major plot point your flowing writing style and relatable characters stop people unfamiliar with metal, Finnish or Canadian cultures from feeling isolated by it.

Sammi is a very well written main character, his frank attitude, open and honest personality, unfussed appearance and full gamut of emotions make him very relatable. I particularly loved his emotions during and after his one night stands, the way that for a little while he’s on the top of the world, but after only a few minuted the weight of his loneliness and sense of isolation comes crashing down on is head. It’s incredibly human really tugs the heartstrings. Not to mention that it made me want to punch his exboyfriend somewhere very painful.

The supporting characters are very strong too, at first I really disliked Ieva and Kevin due to their overly clinical business sense and arrogance respectively but you do such a good job of fleshing them out and reminding us that beyond what Sammi is allowed to perceive, they are just as human and capable of empathy as he.

The plot is very interesting as well, it’s open and full of potential, and you wonder which of the many avenues it will wander down. The twist at the end of chapter 7 was not expected at all and I really look forwards to seeing how it will be handled and where it will take us. Thankyou for writing and posting this here, it’s a great breath of fresh air for the genre and I’m eagerly looking forward to more!

Wow, thank you! I huh... really don't know what to say XD.

I'm really glad people relate to Sammi, because with his personality and at times, his metal music background, I was more or less sure it would happen. Especially since the metal scene deal isn't over yet XD. I still haven't brought the whole band in on top of it all. Ieva definitely needs more fleshing out, but she's a hard one - I've worked some things out... but there's a side to her I haven't dabbled in yet. Will be dealt with in due time ^^. Same with his ex-boyfriend, and Ryan as well.

But the thing I really love, is that people can't see it coming *cackles evilly*. I have to admit that I am not a fan of predictable stories. I like the unexpected... as long as it makes sense. And that's a feeling I hope I convey well. It also helps that this is from Sammi's POV - it's what he sees and feels, and what he understands and not. (And his personality plays a lot on that, of course XD).

~

From: Lisa

Oh poor Sammi. I'm surprised his mom was able to keep it together the way she had.

I enjoyed reading about the dinner with Ryan, but even after he found out Ryan's age, he's STILL going after him? lol

I kinda relate from experience with Sammi's mom. My own father passed away back in 2004, and my mom was way calmer than I was - I'm the one who ran out of the room when the artificial heart was unplugged (at our request, but one is never, ever fully prepared for that moment where it's all over) while she was the one who took everything in charge. For Sammi's mom, there's going to be more than that, but, as usual, all explained in due time ^^.

And yep, Sammi's still going after Ryan. XD

[Windrider Shiva]

From: SillySilenia

Dare I say that Sammi is a little bit obsessed with Ryan? Well, more than a bit, really. Not that Ryan helps it going away so far, mind you. You write the characters very realistically - I can imagine real people acting and reacting like your characters do. They all clearly have personalities and differ from each other in some ways (while still allowing them to connect) rather than then all seemingly being cut out of the same cardboard box. Good job.

Unexpected twist at the end of chapter seven, but pulled off very well, with just enough warning that something bad happened so as to not completely break the pace and flow, while on the other hand not giving so much warning that one could guess exactly what would happen beforehand.

Great choice of point in the story for adding in drama/angst to keep it from becoming too sweet, fluffy and mushy, and a good/believable method for doing so - it's realistic, something that can and will happen to many people each day.

I do feel sorry for Sammi, though. Just as things were looking up...

I enjoyed reading the story so far, and will certainly keep an eye on it for future updates. Great job.

Thank you, thank you!

Sammi is a tad obsessed with Ryan *cough*. I'm happy they don't sound fake - I spend quite some time each chapter just figuring out the dialogue XD. Same thing with flow really; after discussing with my beta, we thought it was the best spot that last scene. I'm not too into fluff myself, except Sammi's a bit more of a romantic than I pictured him to be.

And a lot more fanboyish. XD

[Windrider Shiva]

I'm sorry for not responding faster! D: But I'm back at it now. My apologies.

~

From: MagicMau5

Ahhh you went and updated while I was off writing OTW! No fairz! Now I have to catchiez up! Well I sort of peeked ahead... ok I will defo read the 3 chs I missed whilst being productive-ish.

Aw! Well, yay for being productive, share some of that please? XD

~

From: Lisa

Oh poor Sammi. He's having such a rough time of it. He'll feel so much better when he's home, with people that love him. It's just too bad he had to go home under those circumstances.

Xue and Kevin are lifesavers.

They are; they're Sammi's closest friends in Montreal. He's pretty lucky to have them, and I know he appreciates it.

~

From: Lisa

Wow, what a heartbreaking chapter.

What a bastard Sammi's father was. How did his mom even put up with him? If he was never home for Sammi, then he was never home for her.

And as Sammi said - money can't buy everything. Well, not exactly his words, but means the same thing.

Great chapter. =)

Thanks! I still haven't fully gotten through the dynamics between his mom and his dad, but I promise I'll figure something out. (Eventually. XD) Something that makes sense too!

~

From: SillySilenia

Very sad, but again, well-written. Like last time, realistic approach and realistic characters. Hoping things will start to look up for him again soon. Hopefully I'll notice a bit quicker that you've updated next time. I'm so bad in checking up on stories...

I'm happy that Sammi comes across as realistic, because I'm so afraid he doesn't at times. I wanted him to be realistic. I think it comes from watching some heavy metal artists on social medias and seeing how average their lives are, at times. It's not always about the glamour. It is at a certain point, because Sammi likes to be in the spotlight... but outside that, I wanted him to be someone who was, well realistic, yeah. I think. Don't really know how to put it XD. But thank you for your comment!

[Windrider Shiva]

And back with more review replies. Again XD. Updates have been a bit slower, but I managed to break some more of the writer's block that's plaguing me.

Also: holy fuck, I finally found the HR BB code tag. *headdesk*

From: Lisa

You're back!

This was a happy, yet sad chapter. Everyone is reminded of the funeral the next day, but they're trying their best to not think about it.

I like Sammi's band members. Paavo is cute too; it's cute that he has a crush.

As far as emailing pictures of his new friends to his mom, Sammi doesn't have to tell her everything about them. Especially Kevin. lol He can just email her a picture with Kevin and his roommate together (sorry, I forgot her name). Sammi's mom will never know that her son and Kevin did anything.

Oh, I wanted to point out one typo: remunrated is remunerated. =)

And I gotta tell you something, Shiva, for a non-native English speaker and writer, you are doing a phenomenal job. I would never know that you weren't born and bred in the states. I understood everything except the eighteen o'clock and sixteen o'clock. lol

Yes, I am back! XD. Thanks for the typo notice, I'm 99% sure I haven't gone back to correct it yet *gulp*, but I will! XD

Of course Sammi can always send a pic without too much information, but he's still a little reluctant XD.

I love Paavo, I had him in mind early in the plot, but it took quite a while to introduce him, considering his situation and Sammi's as well. Originaly he was maybe a little more present, but it's sometimes a little harder to work on paper. I have some sort of a plot to go in depth about the whole thing with Paavo, but that'll have to wait a while XD. I'll work something to give updates on his crush in the meantime .

For my English... commend my beta on her native English skills XD. I can sound quite awkward at times, especially written English, but that's why I have a beta for! She knows my strengths... and my weaknesses XD.

Also: Finland, and Quebec at an extent (where I am from), use the 24-hour clock (18:00 = 6pm). Honestly, in my daily life, I barely use it; it's used a lot more in the medias, even more in bilingual media, where you can clearly see the difference. I'm more likely to say "eight o'clock at night" than "twenty o'clock." So even that is a little awkward for me XD.

Another also: There's 2 Lisas? Funny, always thought it was the same one XD.

---

From: makosira

I don't know why I always skipped over this story before, buuuut I just read through all of what's up so far and I'm really liking it~

Kinda wish I could give poor Sammi a hug sometimes, because he definitely seems like he needs it. (Obviously, considering the breakdowns from being alone/lonely.)

And I absolutely LOVE Xue and Kevin. They're so nice, and despite not really /knowing/ Sammi that well, they're so helpful and patient and whatnot, considering Sammi's initial fear of what Xue's intentions were, his breakdown after having sex with Kevin for the second time and Kevin leaving, and then after finding out about Sammi's father...

And Ryan seems like a pretty cool guy, though I think he might need more screentime before I really have much to say about him~

Over all, favorite characters (apart from Sammi of course; have I mentioned he's adorable?) are definitely Kevin and Xue~

Thanks for giving this story a shot - and thank you for your kind comments .

I like torturing my MCs, it's almost a given in my mind. I love making his life horrible... and my muses haven't told me to stop yet. He could use more hugs, but he's with his band for the moment - I can guarantee you he's getting hugs off-screen XD.

I haven't forgotten about Xue and Kevin either, they'll be back soon, once Sammi's back in Montreal anyways. I like them as well (my personal favs are Sammi and another character who hasn't been introduced yet) so they'll definitely come back. Let's face it, Sammi needs a distraction, and I have some more planned for them too. Same with Ryan; he'll be back in the picture soon enough.

[Windrider Shiva]

From: Lisa

I'm actually surprised Sammi didn't bring anything appropriate to wear to his dad's funeral.

I can't believe the papparazzi (I know I spelled that wrong, but I'm too lazy to Google it, lol). They have to invade a private funeral? That is so low, can't they let the grieving family grieve in peace?

Oh, I'm not surprised at the fact Sammi didn't bring anything fancier - it's not something automatic for him, even less in his state of mind. The fact he has more clothes in his own apartment in Helsinki completely eluded him too. And in some ways, he's kinda resentful.

I had talked about the paparazzi thing with my beta, because I wasn't sure either if it was a good idea to include or not. Since his father's a prominent guy in the pharmaceutical industry and he's some sorta rock star, maybe they could have pulled something like that. I needed something, so I went with that XD. The funeral wasn't private (in my mind, it wasn't...) but the reception after was.

But it's giving me some sub-plot ideas now, hmmm... guess I'll see how it pans out with my beta later on ^^.