Review topic: Girls' Night in

[knzen]

I made a similar topic for my Bleach fic. Since reviews are one way and authors can't respond to reviews someone mentioned somewhere to make a topic on the forum and link to it in your story at the end. Since you don't need to sign up with the forums to post it seems like a good idea to me.

Here are the reviews so far and responses if needed:

ForgottenOne-----2008-12-16-----id # 3000024227

"Great pairing! Hope you continue it with more Barret x any FF girl he never gets enough love"

ForgottenOne-----2008-12-18-----id # 3000024242

"Great latest addition! keep up the good work"

Thanks a bunch, you actually got me writing it again with these initial reviews (so you're not Forgotten).

Streti-----2008-12-19-----id # 3000024267

"Nice hot story, especially liked the first chapter with Red totally covering Tifa and the second chapter with Aerith and Cloud's exhibitionism in the gondola. Barret's dialogue was amusing. I'd like to see more FFXII Revenant Wings stories and your style would be great for that. Final Fantasy IV also."

Unfortunately I have never owned a PS2 or 3 so I've only played up to 9 and 13 (since it came out on 360). FF6, 7, 8, 9, 13 are freshest on my mind, meaning I can write a fic without having to play through the game again to remember what happens when. I'm glad you picked up on the dialogue thing someone else didn't which got me to make this topic.

Jack_a_dandy-----2009-04-27-----id # 3000025408

"damn hot story i like to read the bigger orgy scene with aeris fucked by other guys or cloud fuck tifa or else maybe DP or TP,

if you please"

Thank for the review, more motivation to write and reminding me what I intended to write and where I planned to go. The most recent chapter (ch7) has some DP with Aeris. There is going to be a huge scene with that coming up in a bit.

SpaceOddity-----2010-12-06-----id # 3000028991

"Nice one so far. I especially liked the Aeris and Cloud chapter and would really like to see more of just those two."

Sure thing, I was trying to think of the pairings I wanted in the next chapter which is why I haven't done any writing on it. Also I'm bouncing back and forth between this, my Bleach fic, and my FF6 one, that way I don't get burnt out on any one.

annoyed-----2012-08-28-----id # 3000030433

"you can say cock and cunt but you cant say fuck or bitch?"

Seriously thanks for this review; you got me to make these topics for my fics which in turn got me motivated to do more writing. Honestly I kept with the censoring that the game does because it is amusing. You'll notice that bitch is never used but fuck is. There is never an instance where female dogs are involved so I have no reason to ever use bitch for descriptive purposes. The characters are more often than not fucking (no love involved). But to a writer, cursing as a description serves no purpose. For a character to curse out of frustration it has to be a character trait, to me anyway. Cursing is a lack of descriptive ability, say what you really mean, if you don’t know what you really mean don’t say anything.

Words have weight. Like any weights the more you use them the more you grow complacent of their weight. Some words should never lose their weight, like love. How can you feel the same way toward a person that you do toward ice cream?

If you’ve never read the fic and want to here is the link. Remember it is an adult story, what has been read cannot be unread.

http://ff.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081654

[Guest unusualdesires]

You'll notice that bitch is never used but fuck is. There is never an instance where female dogs are involved so I have no reason to ever use bitch for descriptive purposes.

http://ff.adultfanfi...hp?no=600081654

You could use "bitch" for descriptive purposes when it comes to Red in terms of him matting with the girls. For example Red had Tifa knotted like a bitch recently filling her with all of his cum and holding it inside her like that. In the way of comparing the girls to female dogs as they mate with Red or get taken by him. Why not have Tifa get pregnant from all of that cum Red filled her with.

[Guest ooc]

What the fuck are you talking about, what happens when? You remotely following the locations and the characters are infinitely out of character!

[knzen]

What the fuck are you talking about, what happens when? You remotely following the locations and the characters are infinitely out of character!

I could have sworn I replied to this post.

I will admit that I have been basically wroting from memory as for the order of the story, so the group shouldn't have bet Cid yet. I knew to begin with that I would be deviating from the story at some point since Aeris would either have to die and stay dead, or die and be brought back as was initially planned for FF7. Although, in my defense, I never said that it wasn't AU.

Not to sound stuck up, but if you're so sure you could do better by all means go for it, this site exists because of both readers and writers.

I've been buy with school, applications for internships and grad school. Finals are coming up, I don't know how much I will get written since followers of my other fics are wanting new chapters also.

[Guest ooc]

I could have sworn I replied to this post.

I will admit that I have been basically wroting from memory as for the order of the story, so the group shouldn't have bet Cid yet. I knew to begin with that I would be deviating from the story at some point since Aeris would either have to die and stay dead, or die and be brought back as was initially planned for FF7. Although, in my defense, I never said that it wasn't AU.

Not to sound stuck up, but if you're so sure you could do better by all means go for it, this site exists because of both readers and writers.

I've been buy with school, applications for internships and grad school. Finals are coming up, I don't know how much I will get written since followers of my other fics are wanting new chapters also.

First, thats: "I have been basically writing" not "wroting"! That word doesn`t even exist. I`m skipping the other errors. There are probably typing errors.

Aerith (yes it`s officially Aerith) was never planned to be brought back, there is officially deep meaning behind it and it would make her death meaningless. Though I´m guessing were this misinformation comes from.

Anyway, I think you didn`t get what I said or meant. Try and read this all:

It`s not just deviating from the story. The characters in your story have NOTHING to do with the original characters of the FF VII story, hence out of character. I`m not even Talking about details. NONE of them is promiscuous (people who fuck randomly with other people). They would NOT fuck friends, random people or engage in an orgy. Especially not Tifa, she IS demure and modest times infinity. (Confirmed by the official sources like FFVII Ultimanias) It took the (seemingly) end of the world and the love of her life (Cloud) to not just confirm his love to her, but make serious effort to prove it (High affection points, if you don`t now), until she gave up her virginity. (If even that happened at all, not 100% confirmed) Followed by serious blushing and embarrassment in front of her other friends, the next morning, because she thought they might have been “watching”. (If that tells you something, and it is confirmed too)

This is just to give you an example of how far away you are from the original characters. And then talking about minor details like when/how you use “fuck” or “cunt” while your fan depiction of the characters are infinitely out of character is practically unintentional satire. (Look it up if you don`t now)

“I never said that it wasn't AU” Is not a good argument. Imagine I would say “You can`t prove, I didn`t save your life while you were sleeping”. That wouldn`t be very convincing would it?

If it`s an AU (and it is a fan AU, a very different one, character wise) you should tell it as a writer. To be honest it bothered me that you talk about your story as if it were true to the characters, which it is not.

As a genuine FFVII fan who is fond of the Original FFVII story and who respects the characters, I would appreciate it, if you would at least put a disclaimer “This is an ooc AU story written for fun. The characters are out of character”.

(Maybe followed by “This is just a kinky Fan Fantasy, written for fap purposes only and it`s not intended to make any sense beside that” yes, I`m straight forward like that XD)

Jokes aside, ignorant people might and can get confused by what you wrote and believe it because you`re talking about it as if it was genuine, which it is not. Then go elsewhere and talk utter nonsense bullshit annoying other people. A fanfiction tries either to be true to the story or is AU and out of character for fun. In any case; This one is just a naughty kinky FAN FANTASY that`s all! It is NOT genuine to the characters. There is no point in pretending as if it were. The characters are infinitely out of character in your story, minor details do not change that.

I wasn`t suggesting that, but while we are talking about it; I cannot just write a better story, I actually can write an authentic story which is faithful to the story and the characters. I can novelize the story while adding a genuine storyline. Though if I do that, it would not fit this site probably. There would not be sex, except between Cloud and Tifa maybe. And Maybe later Cid/Shera and Red XIII/Deneh (Red XIII`s girlfriend and most probably the mother of the puppies from the end of FFVIII) Which again can be written naughty.

Harsh as it may be what I write, see it as a constructive criticism from a genuine FFVII fan who knows a bit of something. And if you look closely at the FFVII story, you too would come to that conclusion.

I would probably wouldn`t mind your story if you actually put a disclaimer that the characters are NOT like in your story which is just a fan fantasy for fun. Otherwise it reads like a bunch of lies and insults. And that is not fun.

Nonetheless, I wish you luck with your school/studies and internship applications.

tl:dr, but it`s worth it.

[knzen]

Thanks for the criticism, as you probably noticed from my error filled last post I don't really have a ton of free time, not even to proof read simple stuff like my own post, especially not enough time to do the kind of writing you're suggesting.

That being said lets make it official, I don't have time to keep this fic going so it's next chapter is shelved indevinately. If anyone wants to pick up and keep writing feel free.

Edit: Since I won't be making any mor FF7 fics and OOC seems to think s/he can do better--no wait, he says he can do better-- go for it. When it's written send me a link so I can read it, not out of spite or anything just a push to get a writer in my place for this FF7 community. This may sound a bit odd but if you can write and put your work out in the public but you choose not to, then you cannot write. For every ten people who say or think that they can write be it a novel, story, poem, or fanfic few of them actually write and post their work on websites like this. I've known of a lot of people who say they can write in the same way people say they should work out, it's only ever going to be an intention to them. Will that be the case for you?

Edited December 11, 2012 by kanzen

[knzen]

Still waiting to see your chapter since you seem to think you can do better with a fic. Do you not understand that saying that you can do better without actually posting something is the same as an alchaholic saying that they can quit drinking if they want to but continuin to drink?

[Guest Guest]

Still waiting to see your chapter since you seem to think you can do better with a fic. Do you not understand that saying that you can do better without actually posting something is the same as an alchaholic saying that they can quit drinking if they want to but continuin to drink?

I ask you kindly to continue your story.

It`s refreshing, arousing and "inspiring". It`s a story for fun, so don`t let yourself spoiled by critics.

You`re awesome in writing erotic fanfiction.

[Guest gigglebuts gigglyboo]

Ultima Final Fantasy Podcast does an awesome reading of this fic.

[Guest Tifalover]

Is there a chance, that this story will continue?

[Guest kanzen]

I was actually thinking recently about this.  I messed up the timeline a bit with Cid and the buggie, at the same time i don’t want Aeries to die so I guess messing up the time line alittle more is ok.  I will likely try to pick a point in the story and continue on as if the whole Aeris death thing doesn’t/didn’t happen.  I know where I intended to go next so it should just take writing.

[Guest Tifalover]

Wow, thats great to hear!   

You can alter the story all you want. It`s a fanfic after all^^

Will there be more Barret and Tifa action? or with Red XII, maybe just a gangbang with her?

I`d love to read Tifa fucked by her friends thouroughly during the ffvii story. you write exciting stories kanzen^^

Can you give us a sneak peak how it will continue / what you are planning next?

Excited to hear from you

[knzen]

Well, they're going to clean up so they're heading to the beach but there are some interesting enemies along the way.  This beach trip isn't the same as a Coast del sol beach trip which will happen later.

I was thinking someone was overdue to be 5wayed.  I did a FF6 fiction where Terra was.

Edited August 6, 2017 by knzen

[Guest Tifalover]

Hey Kanzen^^

Nice to hear. Someone is about to be gangbanged?  Who might it be?

Hope it`s Tifa. Girl needs some comforting haha.

 

Excited for your story! Have good time^^

[knzen]

I haven’t decided yet.

[Guest Tifalover]

Hey^^

How is it going? Did you make up your mind and could find time for this : )

have a nice time till next^^

[knzen]

I may have a more interesting idea where i don’t have to choose.  Still that won’t happen for a chapter or two.  This chapter i had in mind what I wanted to do, i got started writing it this morning.

[Guest Tifalover]

Hey kanzen^^

Excited to hear that! Can you tell some specifics? How far could you get? Any updates?  

[knzen]

I’m working on it, I should get more done this weekend, maybe get it done.  You have to realize that writing a lemon is basically typing with a painful boner for 5 hours.  Can’t do anything to relieve it since one handed typing is much much slower than 2 handed typing.  Also since Aeris snapped sexually think there should be some Aeris dominating Tifa or Yuffie?  Strap-on action?  I had some interesting ideas.  You won’t be dissapointed with the big group thing *hint hint*

[Guest Tifalover]

Hey kanzen^^

So, there is an orgy? yay  Have them some love^^

Though I Lesbian actions is always enjoyable. I must admit I like the action Barret or Red has with Tifa and the other girls. Especially Red seemed like wanting to actually impregnate her haha. Maybe Cid should have his turn too. 

In any case I`m excited to hear and read from your story. So keep up the good work and let us have some arousing experiences and painful boners^^

[Guest Rana]

Hey will your story continue? Would be cool

[Guest Tifalover]

On 18.8.2017 at 2:11 AM, knzen said:

I’m working on it, I should get more done this weekend, maybe get it done.  You have to realize that writing a lemon is basically typing with a painful boner for 5 hours.  Can’t do anything to relieve it since one handed typing is much much slower than 2 handed typing.  Also since Aeris snapped sexually think there should be some Aeris dominating Tifa or Yuffie?  Strap-on action?  I had some interesting ideas.  You won’t be dissapointed with the big group thing *hint hint*

Hi knzen^^
Were you able to work on the story by any chance?^^ Excited to hear from you. 

[knzen]

Sadly school started up and got busy.  I was hoping this would be a lighter semester with graduation coming in December but I have that and moving for work right after (a few days after).  I do know what I want to write for the curent chapter and some of the upcoming ones though.  This is why I don’t like making promises about when things wil lget done then just get it out when I can.

[Guest tifalover]

Ok thanks for replying.

Good Luck with your studies!

Hope you get around to continue the story someday^^

[Guest Tifalover]

HELlo there^^
Wanted ask how you are and how the studies go?^^
Any plans to do something with the story? D