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Posted (edited)

Snape is deliciously nasty in this one, he is not some tormented soul that seeks redemption.

Hermione is not some little milkish miss that lets him do whatever he wants, either.

I've got some raggedy edges that I like, and some that I don't. I like how this fic just kind of runs rough-shod over morality without being another BDSM/torture-smut venture. I need someone to do a quick read over and give me some good honest feed back on what feels lacking or what might be rushed. You can get into mechanics, but I can easily take care of that in a print out.

When I first wrote this, it was over two weeks and I was in and out of the hospital with a respiratory problem, so I know there are mechanical flaws, but I also know there are pacing flaws and I'd like to focus on the pacing flaws.

I'm working on learning to handle my pace, switching POV, scene usage, etc, so that's the kind of crit I need for this. I really don't care if you're a listed or published beta, but I do care if you know what you're talking about. Prove that to me any which way you can.

Thank you for taking the time to read! Dena

Edited by dena.gray
  • 4 months later...
Posted

yeah...so, I've updated the info above to more accurately reflect what I'm looking for...

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