Lisbet_Adair Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 Right, I'm going to get off my arse and reply to my reviews. Firstly: A review for my first story, The Standing One Review by Denim Giant Lolwut? WHY INTERNET? WHY? Gee, thanks for the snub. The irony of someone on AFF.net saying that you're a weird for writing Call of Duty slash who writes their own game slash for a different fandom I strongly suspect this person rated me a single star when they wrote this review, which, if they did, is just being a dick. My opinion is that if you don't like the fandom, or the pairing don't read! Secondly, a review for my second story Twist This review was posted when only chapters one was available and it's from someone called "Moose" who wasn't logged into AFF.net I thought Anderson was an american...maybe I am wrong but that...I wanted MORE MORE MORE!!! Nice writing STYLE keep it up! can't wait for CH 2!!!! Firstly, thank you very much for your review. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. We were never told in the canon where Gary "Roach" Sanderson was from, and it is not mentioned in the little "Soap's Diary" book that came with MW3. I assumed he was British because I am, and as such, I didn't have to learn a whole lot of new cultural tropes when I was writing. So, he's really only British out of my laziness. Thirdly, another review of Twist from BotechelliAngel which was posted when Chapter 3 was put up. I think your strongest points are the internal dialog/confusion that Ghost is experiencing in the lead up to the sex scene. The most outside description that you give is during the physically intimate moments of Ghost and Roach. Carrying more external description (sight, taist, touch, smell..) into other areas of the story will help you set the mood, and can help boost the already good internal dialog. Good luck writing! Thank you very much for taking the time to review. And also, I don't think you're into this as a fandom so thanks for looking at something that I wouldn't have expected you to. To be honest, I was just using this pairing to further practice writing erotica and that's where I've concentrated my efforts. I did intitally have a lot more information originally written in the story about who I was making Ghost into, but it slowed the pace right down and had to go, which is a shame because I had built a whole world for him! In Chapter 4 "The Morning After" I have a bit more time to tell you more about the world as Ghost tries to come to terms with his shock intimacy with Roach and I hope to expand a bit more later when I have some genuine plots for them to explore. They will go out on active duty at some point, where I can switch the focus of the action to what's happening in the world around them. Regards, L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbet_Adair Posted July 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2012 Next review is also from BotechelliAngel. Again, I'm really grateful for your time, because I know it's not your fandom. omg... yummy slash! Very good style and momentum. You gave just enough background info to make the porn meaningful. Thanks. Reading this back, I think all the pertinent information about the pairing is covered before the sex, and it might work as generic gay soldier erotica. It's the first piece of slash I ever wrote, and I'm pleased with how it turned out. botticelliangel 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbet_Adair Posted July 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) Two new reviews! The first is from someone called "Blue" who wasn't logged in at the time of leaving the review. I have to say, I really enjoyed reading this! I love how you 'designed' Gary, and I LOVE the interaction between Gary and Simon. I can't honestly think of anything I didn't like about this story! Firstly, thank you very much for taking the time to read the story and review it. There's not a big community of COD fans over here, so I sometimes feel as if I'm writing into the void. I did spend some time working on who Gary (Roach) was, because we don't know anything about him in the Modern Warfare series. I had this clear idea in my head that he was dark skinned (I have no idea why), and that he would be confident and friendly to counterbalance (Simon) Ghost's introversion. His personality really evolved to provide a challenge to Ghost and to give Ghost a locus at which he could start to become comfortable with his own sexuality. I enjoy reading about human sexuality and its expression in culture. It struck me that there's probably gay men who grew up hiding who they were and would only allow themselves an outlet in anonymous sexual encounters like cottaging and in saunas, and I wondered how they felt about gay men who are open about their sexuality and form lasting relationships. I did wonder if I had gone too far with how anxious Ghost is about what happens between him and Gary, and I still haver over his emotional wobble after their first kiss; although I stand by that the fear of being exposed as gay combined with his sexual desire for Gary would push him further than anything has before. The next review is by another user who didn't log in but who has used the name "Nikolai". This story was stunning, to say the least. I actually imagine the two with switched roles, as does my sister, but this was new and I certainly enjoyed it! I'm new to writing erotica myself and if you have any tips for writing such, I'd love to hear them, haha (: Anyways, you did an amazing job! I love the way you write-- it's brilliant! I wish it wasn't so short, but I hope to see more from you in the CoD area! More of these two or the other Modern Warfare characters!! Again, thank you very much for taking the time to stop by and I'm glad you enjoyed the story! I've already gone into my reasons for why Roach is taking the lead in seducing Ghost above, but I've seen people play the other way around with Ghost being more aggressive and leading Roach. It's not that one will top the other; although Ghost does have personal issues with what he sees as submissive positions, just that Roach's confident shines over Ghost. Writing erotica? I read a lot myself, so I know what I've enjoyed and try to emulate it (I have some recommended reading attached to my profile). I also watch a lot of gay porn to get ideas (although I know this is inaccurate as portrayal of what gay sex is truly like, in the same way that straight porn is with regard to straight sex) and as a women who has sex with men, I have an idea of what some of the experiences are like. This is not a story I'm finishing, but the the way I imagine this story to run is clearly episodic. The next segment will deal the pair a series of challenges both personally and professionally, and I will probably make a start on it in the next few weeks. Unfortunately, if you're not a user on the site (or forums) I can't let you know when the story goes up. [EDIT: I'm a massive plum. I realised I can see your email address when I read the reviews. DERP!] Regards, L Edited July 16, 2012 by Lisbet Adair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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