Claim your Disclaimer

[Keith Inc.]

What must ACME's disclaimer be like, that Wile E. hasn't sued them yet? What's in the small print? My impression:

ACME products are provided on a by-use basis for the desperate, OCD suffering, limited cash flow customer. Their use is contraindicated for government projects, people under the influence of Schedule Three medication, or anywhere in the vicinity of children. The purchaser of an ACME product assumes all credit for the successful use of the product, as well as all blame for improper assembly, improper use, or disregard for the basic laws of physics as understood by mainstream physicists and inertia-familiar professionals. There are no refunds for ACME products, although we would like to remind the customer that we have a working relationship with ACME Salvage, a wholly-owned subsidiary of ACME Products, who will purchase left over parts and piles of gravel following the successful or partially successful discharge of an ACME product. ACME has no responsibility for any death, maiming, free-fall, impact or other trauma incurred with relation to the actual assembly of an ACME product. ACME products are sold solely for entertainment purposes, which effort includes the assembly of the product.

[Ginevra]

Love that...Sounds about right.