Proper Terminology

[Keith Inc.]

So, I spent two years in Scotland on a Tender that serviced the Strategic Weapons System on ballistic missile submarines.

An important part of that was the missile alignment system that helped target the weapons. It shone a beam of light into the missile, hit a mirror, and compared the light coming back with the light that went down to determine missile misalignment in the deck plane. The return image was of a long, long rectangle with two small triangles on either side. The triangles were what was used to measure the alignment of the image.

One boat we worked on, the return image was blurry. Very blurry. So blurry, i put in the trouble and failure report, that we 'could not distinguish the tits to either side.' Filed the report.

Got a huge ration of in-rate technical training from my division officer. We couldn't say 'tits' in a TFR. But we insisted that the technical guys back at Pittsfield needed this information to evaluate the fault.

So, we had to find the proper term for that trait of the return image.

Three days.

Finally, in a secondary technical manual, we locate the description that indicates they were 'the triangular pips.' We edited the TFR and sent it off.

A month later, I get called into the shop, where a phone call is waiting for me. It's the 'technical guy' that answers TFRs. He wants to know what in the name of God a Triangular Pip is.

"It's the tits on either side of the return image."

"Oh, sure. Those. Man, we've been looking in the books for four days, trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about! Why didn't you just say 'tits?' Oh, wait, don't answer that."

I felt bad about the confusion, but i felt REAL good we found the answer in three days and they didn't....

[foeofthelance]

FUBAR- Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

SNAFU- Situation Normal, All Fucked Up

SOL- Shit Out of Luck

Militaries of the world- Creatively coming up with fun and exciting ways to communicate everyday! Stop by your local base and learn the lingo soon, for who knows when it will change next!