Polinues Marines, the would be mage.

[WillowDarkling]

So, as with my previous post, I just found out that I've been breaking the rules by responding to reviews in the review section.

Feeling horribly bad about that, I decided to open this topic in the forum, and hope that some of my readers will use it.

So, here is a topic for my current story, the one that's being written as we speak... so to speak... wow, that was a bad joke.

Polinues Marines, the would be mage.

Warnings: Abuse, Anal, Angst, BDSM, Bi, B-Mod, Bond, Death, D/s, H/C, HJ, Humil, Language, M/F, M/M, Minor, N/C, OC, Oral, Preg, Rim, Spank, Violence, Voy, VS, WD, WIP.

It's basically the pre-story for two of the main characters from my novel, the way I wish I could publish it. If it ever gets published I'm going to have to cut down on all that smut... (the horror!!)

Anyway, I've got a couple of dedicated readers, and now I hope I'll get the chance to express my gratitude to them.

[WillowDarkling]

Hey, Kylee... gods, I hope you'll read this.

I got the next chapter up, and I hope you don't want to kill me for it, but there is reason to the madness, I promise you.

But I wanted to apologize in person for having taken so long, and I didn't want to put this up in an author's note.

The thing is, I had to go visit my granddad over the weekend, he's dying of cancer, and it really shook me badly, so I've hardly been able to write a word, since Thursday. I'm having a hard time dealing with him being sick.

Well, then on the drive back on Sunday, I started feeling sort of lousy, and woke up yesterday with a sore throat, a fever and achy bones. I hate that, those fever pains in your bones, I'm such a wuss that I just turn into a whiny five year old. Thank the Gods that I have a wonderful hubby who doesn't mind catering to my wussiness.

Anyways, I'm still sick, but my brain isn't as muddled as it was yesterday, so hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up by the end of this week.

Hope I'll hear from you, once you've read the chapter, and please forgive me. Both for taking so long updating, and for the chapter. And once again, thank you so much for all of your comments. You make me squee, every time, and sometimes your comments literally make my day.

Sincerely, Darkling Willow.

P.S. Just read your latest comment, Kylee, and am squeeing, despite sore throat and all!! Thank you!! That actually made being sick worth it... damn I want to give you a hug.

Edited March 24, 2010 by WillowDarkling

[kylee]

Hi DarklingWillow,

I finally figured out what my forum username and password were and then your page came up okay. I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. I've had several relatives suffer from cancer and they lose their strength so quickly. It is always a shock to watch. I hope you will feel better soon. Don't feel pressured about updating. I really admire you for turning out such well polished chapters so speedily. The story is going great although I am always afraid of what is going to happen next. Today I wished that I could pluck Leyjen out of the story and wipe his tears away. I think that you could definitely publish this prequel when you are done with it. (Maybe as an e-book) Especially with all the smut. I love the fact that you give so much detail to the sex scenes. I think the story is perfectly balanced because there are so many stormy emotions going around - all the characters are so passionate. Good luck with your cold and thanks for the hug. I can't wait to see what you have in store for poor Leyjen.

Hugs,

Kylee

[WillowDarkling]

Yay! Thanks Kylee, and I'm sorry about your relatives. Can I ask, where are you in the world? I've been trying to figure it out based on the times that you review, but I'm just not that good at math....

As for the story... yet another squee worthy comment, I'm so happy you like it. I take it Leyjen has become your favorite?

That's really sweet that you want to comfort him that much. I hope I can keep delivering like that.

And there is reason to the madness... I promise.

Ayouka 2010-03-24 id # 3000149086

Wow! I have to admit that at first I didn't want to read this story. The title just didn't draw me in and I'm very picky with what I read, but I'm so glad that I finally clicked on this story. It's so amazing! Completely worth my time. I couldn't stop reading it and managed to read through all the chapters in two days. I'm so mad at Amareen! He and Leyjen were so cute... Ah, well. I know that when Polinues finally gets over his brat attack he and Leyjen will be even more adorable. I have to say though, even though the title has Polinues' name and he's going to be a great mage of legend and all, Leyjen is my favorite character. I hope simply amazing things happen for him

Ayouka, thank you so much for your comment, and thank you so much for spending two days to catch up. Wow, I don't have words for how much that means to me.

When I read your comments I got so giddy I just kept squeeing and clapping my hands, because I couldn't articulate my thoughts. Hubby laughed for like twenty minutes.

As for the title, it is a sort of working title, and the story was supposed to center around him, but somehow it just went the other way. Maybe because Leyjen is growing up so much (as a character) through this story, but Polinues has been pretty solid for a couple of years now.

Oh, and Ayouka, you've got the coolest birthday! I only know three other people who are born on that day, plus myself, so you rock!!

So, thanks again, both of you, and hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Sincerely, Darkling Willow.

P.S. Just call me Willow... that's enough.

[LadyTamiko]

Heh, Willow, I know! May 30th is the coolest date to be born. Lol.

So happy that you liked the review!

I like just returned from the gym twenty minutes ago and noticed that you'd popped out yet another horribly teriffic chapter. I was so stoked. Don't worry, though. It was only horrible because I had such a hard time reading through it. Poor Leyjen. I was blushing and cringing with embrassment and humilation for him during the scene with Amraeen. I feel like I've just been dumped by a boyfriend.

Alas, you're too good at your craft. Making me as emotionally ill as Leyjen. Well, I am happy that Polinues is talking to Leyjen again. It's cute how he's still a kid at heart. Once they get mad they're angry for seemingly forever, but once they're over it everything's gravy.

From (never know how to end these things >.< )

Ayouka

P.S. I am such a smart person. I totally forgot that the names are different. ; But, yeah, LadyTamiko and Ayouka are both me!

Edited March 25, 2010 by LadyTamiko

[WillowDarkling]

MWUHAHAHA, MWUHAHAHA! (That's my evil genius laugh, you see!)

It was only horrible because I had such a hard time reading through it. Poor Leyjen. I was blushing and cringing with embrassment and humilation for him during the scene with Amraeen. I feel like I've just been dumped by a boyfriend.

Alas, you're too good at your craft. Making me as emotionally ill as Leyjen.

Thank you, Ayouka (is it ok, if I use that name? I like it) That was such an awesome comment!! It was BE-Awesome!! (sorry, watched "Bolt" for the first time the other day, and can't get that stupid line out of my head)

And since I'm feeling giddy, and sick and want to be a jacka$$, I'm going to quote the "Prophet Chuck":

Obviously... I'm a god!!

*Bow, Bow, Bow* Thank you thank you....

Man, I wish I could get a reaction like that out of my hubby. Seriously, Kylee's getting all upset, Ayouka is getting all upset, and I'm getting the biggest ego-boosts I've ever gotten!

You guys rock! Thank you.

Sincerely, Darkling Willow.

Don't take this the wrong way, guys, I'm just a little off because of the flu... I'm not always this giddy. I'll blame it on the cough syrup

[WillowDarkling]

Sorry, guys.

Granddad died on Friday.

Be patient with me. I'll start again, when I find my head.... Sorry.

[kylee]

Sorry, guys.

Granddad died on Friday.

Be patient with me. I'll start again, when I find my head.... Sorry.

Willow,

So sorry about your Grandfather. Best wishes to you and your family. In response to your question. I live in the US Midwest. I am a night owl so I log in at all hours.

[LadyTamiko]

Willow,

It's fine if you use Ayouka since I like that one better too!

I'm also sorry to hear that your grandfather died. Please take your time. Losing a loved relative isn't something we're just supposed to bounce right back from.

Best Wishes,

Ayouka

[WillowDarkling]

Hey, guys.

First off, thank you both, Kylee and Ayouka, for your messages. The past weekend was hard, and things got really bad for a bit.

Ok, so, the funeral is set for next Tuesday, right after Easter.

So, posting of Chapter 30. might not happen until sometime late next week, early week after that.

But here is Chapter 29. and it's quite long, (about 10 pages, in word).

I hope you'll enjoy it, and I'm looking forward to your reviews, because they usually make my day.

Not to mention all the new posters... like this one

lividfire 2010-03-23 id # 3000149048

What is Tisek plotting?

Oh, mwuhahahaha.... wouldn't you like to know, Lividfire.... you'll have to read more to find out.

Tons of hugs and gratitude,

Darkling Willow.

[LadyTamiko]

Willow,

You're welcome for the messages and I hope your grandfather's funeral is really as nice as it can be in the situation.

Thank you for Chapter 29! It's great.

[WillowDarkling]

Hey guys.

Thank you, Ayouka, for those kind words. I'll keep you guys updated about all that, but for now, just enjoy Easter, and eat a bunch of chocolate.

I'm trying to not be too sad about granddad passing, I try to remember that now he's in a better place, free of the pain of cancer and he's back with my grandmother, who died 20 years ago. Wow... it's been 20 years. Now I'm just going to concentrate on my granddad's second wife, and on getting my own life back into order.

I know this may sound a little cold and callous, but I don't really believe in mourning (for a long time) someone who has lived a full life, and raised a great family, and had his fair share of ups and downs, and everything in between. Especially not when that same someone dies from a very painful illness.

I'd much rather celebrate the life he lived, the people he left behind, and believe that he would much rather see me succeed than see me mourn him for a long time.

I'm not saying I'm not sad he's gone... (I mean, I'm not heartless)... but I don't want to forget to live because I'm in mourning... Jeeze, I've stopped making sense again.. It's 2:40 am over here, so maybe I should just stop this and go to sleep...

Enough of this. Thank you both for your support and wonderful words, you have no idea how much it means to me. <3

As for the new chapter and your comments... oohh, you guys are so wonderfully synchronized in this, that I love it.

I'll start with Ayouka, because she was first.

Ayouka 2010-04-01 id # 3000149605

Tisek's a bastard. I was sort of wavering on the line of declaring him one or not, but I've finally decided. I wonder what he's going to do with Leygen's chain if he finds it. Or even why Leygen was suddenly looking for it himself?

I like how little Pol is trying to be Leygen's rock even when he's just as vunerable. I have to admit that I think the vunerablitiy of these characters is the best thing about this story. Pol and Ley are strong, but they also have weaknesses. It makes them more real. ^.^ Anyway, I knew right away that the teen with the garnet chain was Brigale! I thought it was funny how him and Pol meet again first with a fight. Though I have a feeling that their friendship might not be as tight as before.

Overall another great chapter!

Oh, wow, how you made me laugh with that comment about Tisék. I loved it. That's actually a brilliant definition of him.

Thank you for the point about the vulnerability of the characters, because honestly I hadn't noticed it, and often feel like everyone in the story is being an emo-whiny boy. But I'm so psyched that I've managed to write them that way. Now let's hope I don't get self-conscious about it, and eff it up.

I have to admit that I'm a little miffed that you figured Brigale out immediately, because I was trying so hard to hide his identity, even if it was only for a little bit. I wanted the reader to go a little, "hum, who is that guy?"... You're obviously too smart for me....

So, thank you for a very wonderful review.

Oh, one thing... did you notice you kept spelling Leyjen's name Leygen? Sorry to point it out, but it kind of stung me when I read your comment, you know, how misspelled words sting when you're reading something.

And now you, Kylee...

kylee 2010-04-01 id # 3000149642

Hurray. We meet Brigale again. Too bad it has to be under sad circumstances. Pol really is a brat. I love his creative way of checking Bri out. A few moments of happiness in this beautiful bittersweet story. I don't want Leyjen to cry anymore. I can't believe he has been letting that jerk Tisek push him around especially since Leyjen knows all of Tisek's secrets as well. I hope that Leyjen will find the necklace and pendant that Amraeen gave to him. My heart is still recovering from that breakup. (Amraeen please come back!) I hope everything is going well for you Willow.

Ok, I want to know... why do you think Polinues is a brat? Is it because he's become possessive of Hiram, Thelaura and Cooksie? Please tell me, because that comment made me laugh.

I'm sorry if I broke your heart with the whole thing with Amraeen. And I hope you can forgive me for that.

As for Tisék pushing Leyjen around, it's one of those things where he figured it's better to be in pain than to be empty.

Unfortunately, like Leyjen explained to Polinues, Leyjen can't do much to harm Tisék, while Leyjen has everything to lose. Tisék's father is only one rank below Wrailan in the Knighthood, and Leyjen is the (probably) illegitimate son of a maid, and a disranked lord. So, Leyjen didn't even get the short end of that stick, he only got a splinter of it!

And thank you. I sort of answered that last bit above so, I'm not going to do it again.

But now I've got a question for both of you. Since you guys seem to be the only ones who post here.

Can either one of you draw or make pictures on the computer?

I can't draw at all, I even eff up stick figures, but my imagination works in such a way that I always get pictures in my head instead of thoughts when I'm writing and creating characters and stuff.

The thing is that, ever since I started writing this story I've been wanting to see Leyjen and Polinues (and any of the other characters if you're willing), and I was wondering that if you can draw or make computer pictures, whether you'd be willing to make some for me.

I won't be able to pay for it in any way, and I'm not asking you for something that I'd take the copyright of. I'm only asking if you could make something that gives me an idea of what they look like.

I've got a picture of an actor that I can see as almost the perfect Leyjen, but like I said, I can't change the picture into Leyjen.

And before you jump up and down, yelling that you're ready to do it, I should tell you, that I'm horribly picky and want something like really perfect.

Something like this: perfect

So, if you guys can, I'd love it. If you can't... well, then thank you anyway.

And thank you so much, (again) for your support and kind words. It does mean a lot.

Sincerely, Darkling Willow.

Edited April 2, 2010 by WillowDarkling

[LadyTamiko]

Willow,

Ah! I can't believe I kept spelling Leyjen's name wrong. Honestly I'm surprised that nothing else has been horribly wrong. I'm a terible speller. >.<

I do draw well on paper, but can't do any of that nifty coloring on the computer. Sorry!

Easter Candy for the Writer,

Ayouka

[kylee]

Hi Willow,

Unfortunately, I have no drawing skills whatsoever. It is too bad because I have such a strong image of all your characters in my head. Especially Leyjen. Maybe if you put your request into one of your chapters you might get a response from one of your more artistically talented readers. I would love to seem some fan art eventually.

[kylee]

I justrealized that I forgot to answer the Polinues question. I thought he was a brat because he was coming up with so many ways to play tricks on Bri - even before he was introduced to the poor guy. Quite hilarious. Pol can be a sweetiepie but he also has a naughty streak in him too.

Hi Willow,

Unfortunately, I have no drawing skills whatsoever. It is too bad because I have such a strong image of all your characters in my head. Especially Leyjen. Maybe if you put your request into one of your chapters you might get a response from one of your more artistically talented readers. I would love to seem some fan art eventually.

[WillowDarkling]

Hey guys... Yay!! Chapter 30 is finally up.

I just wanted to tell you all, thanks so much for your patience and your kind words in these past few weeks.

I'm on the mend now, and I'll even start working on Monday.

So, I know this chapter is a little weird, and quite long, but it actually turned out longer than I intended.

I hope you don't completely hate it, because it contains a few important bits for the story.

And the next chapter should be up by next weekend, and I'm hoping I'll be able to update weekly from now on.

So, thanks again guys, and hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story.

[WillowDarkling]

Chapter 31.

Hey, guys, I know I'm late in posting, but it was a little harder starting work than I anticipated.

I guess a year and a half of unemployment does change a thing or two...

So, Now chapter 31 is up, and I've already got a couple of reviews. It's so great to hear from you guys again.

I'll answer in order....

lividfire 2010-04-28 id # 3000151586

I think authors who end their chapters with a cliffhanger should be spanked.Very often.

Don't you agree;)?You do realize that you have succeded to turn a cliche vampire story into something original and different. Yeah, I know, it's amazing.

But I must ask you already have a clear storyline form beginning to end or are you the Lost-ing your way through it(you realize the screenwriters for that series have no clue have to end it)

Where did you get an inspiration for Polineus(from th emovie El orfanato perhaps?)

I thought this will be shota because Polineus is a kid and Lenyen is not(I mean I know some ppl claim 10 years isn't a big age gap but it really is.Time is something a human being can't bypass.When someon eis 10 years older it means thhe is always ten years ahead of you no matter you're 21,31,41 he's always 31,41,51.I just don't get it th how will story evolve with Lenyen and Polinesu

Tihihi, Sorry? The chapter just would have become way too long if I had kept going, but don't worry, the next chapter will be up soon.

I have to admit I'm not quite sure how to take your comment about the "Cliché vampire story", so I'm just going to say thank you very much.

As for the story line, I'm most definitely not Lost-ing my way through it.

Although the story line isn't like set in concrete, I have a very solid idea where we're headed.

I'm sorry, but I've never heard of that movie. Polinues has been growing up in my head for the past thirteen years, so he's 100% home-made original.

But now I'm going to have to look that movie up. (edit: I looked it up. I saw that movie on TV earlier this year for the first time.)

As for the age gap, I know. There's nine years between my parents, and honestly it doesn't seem to affect them that much.

I guess you'll just have read on to find out how it ends.

Ayouka 2010-04-28 id # 3000151587

Hey! Jeez, it feels like forever since I've reviewed... Anyway, I loved chapter 31! I felt so much better finally knowing why Amraeen broke it of with Leyjen. Pretty crappy of Leyjen's father to order Amraeen to do so. What's the need to be jealous of his son's relationship with Amraeen if he has Leyjen's mom?! That pissed me off... I also wonder what the premonition he showed to Amraeen was if it was bad enough to make him shudder. The fact that Amraeen's blood tear, which Leyjen couldn't accept before, is what brought Leyjen back to life was really cute. I'm also glad that Tisek is dead. The bastard! I totally wanted to jump into the story when he was whupping Leyjen's behind. Talk about tough to read... Oh! And Polinues was so adorable with his jealousy of Amraeen and his rage with the realization that Tisek wanted Leyjen to be his slave. Ah, this seems a little much, so I'll end it here. ^.^

Ayouka!!

Oh, baby, you make me squee every time!! I love the fact that I could make you pissed off... sorry, that doesn't sound good... but I still love the fact that you get so emotionally involved in the story.

I was really excited to see your reaction to Tisék's demise, and you didn't disappoint. I can actually feel how much you hated him.

I'm sorry if I make it hard for you to read, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that you like it...

Please, feel free to rant away. I love it.

Oh, and the Blood Drop bit... don't forget how important it is for the plot. Remember what it means. *dun, dun, dun,*

So, thanks to both of you for your reviews, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest.

You rock.

EDIT:

I've got a couple of more reviews, so I'm just going to edit this post, instead of making a new reply.

kylee 2010-04-28 id # 3000151599

Wow. What an emotional and revealing episode. As always, this story has such a strong impact on me. I am so sorry for sweet Leyjen. He still cared about Tisek after all the abusive treatment. Tisek must have been drinking himself into insanity. I understand his desire for revenge but he was planning to betray Leyjen and Pol in such a horrible way. Just terrible. Like Pol, I question the motives of Leyjen's parents in separating Amraeen and Leyjen. I feel like there maybe some jealousy involved. I want Leyjen and Amraeen and Pol to be together. I want Amraeen to stay. I love him so much and I see how hard it is for him to be away from Leyjen. It hurts when I think of how happy Leyjen would be to see him. To just get an explanation of why he left like that. After all these three characters have suffered and will suffer through. I think they deserve to have a happy ending at some point. (I need to get over my Amraeen crush but I was very happy to see him again.) Good job Darkling Willow. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Yay, Kylee!!

? I feel kind of bad making you and Ayouka so upset, but at the same time I get such an egoboost reading your reviews. So, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ow, it's kind of cute that you have a crush on Amraeen... I do too... a little bit. He's a sweetie. But so broken.

You're awesome!

And now, a new reader. Class, say hi to Womo. HI, Womo.

womo 2010-04-29 id # 3000151648

i love this story.

i've been a naughty reader and have been reading through it without reviewing(currently on chapter 26), but i will get to that after classes end for me this month when i have the time to review each chapter. i love this story!!!

i'm surprised not many people have read this. it probably has something to do with the format of your first chapter (spacing between paragraphs, or lack thereof), which some people take as a sign of a novice (aka bad) writer. but you are an EXCELLENT storyteller and i love the characters and what plot we are given. the setting and world is also pretty interesting!!

i almost skipped over this story too because of the inital lack of spacing between paragraphs, but i'm glad i gave it a go because i would have missed this jewel.

awesome awesome story! i'll be following it!

womo 2010-04-29 id # 3000151651

ch 27: awww..........this chapter made me cry (literally; almost had to grab the tissues but i settle for wiping them off on my shirt). poor leyjen. i wonder what happened with amraeen. i mean, it probably has to do with being bribed or cohered into cutting ties with leyjen, but that's just harsh.

Oh, wow, thank you so much, Womo.

I'm cool with you reading through before you review, just as long as I get to hear from you eventually. Just focus on school, and r&r when you've got the time.

I honestly didn't realize that the format was so bad, because I thought I used too much paragraphing.

Sorry I made you cry. But it makes me a little giddy to know that I don't totally suck at this.

Thank you so much.

Edited April 29, 2010 by WillowDarkling

[WillowDarkling]

Hey, guys.

Once again I grovel and beg your forgiveness for being so late in posting. But *ta-ra-tata* I have an excuse!!!

I'm really sorry, this chapter just didn't want to come out, and much less to be posted. I had no motivation to write in the past week and a half, and for that I truly am sorry.

I guess planning a wedding in ten weeks is a little crazy, and draining, especially when both parties have jobs.

But, hey, Chapter 34 is up now, and I've got some reviews to thank for.

So thank you very much, Kylee, Ayouka and Womo. I really enjoyed reading your reviews and hope you forgive me.

It's like 2 a.m. over here now, so I'm going to go to sleep, but I can't wait to hear from you guys.

Love you, and good night.

Darkling Willow.

[Guest livid fire]

Sorry, just noticed you moved the replys here.Yeah, it was a compliment.I meant your story was not cliche(there are a lot of subplots,and mystery..anyway it is really special).

I hope I'll read your novel one day(when you ublish it) yu have me hooked now.I'm so curious what is it about, which characters are the main stars and so on and on.as for this chapeter..I'm wondering who is this clove-cinnamon person whose scent is better then Lenyen's to Polineus.

I'm guessing Lenyen was crying and kicked Polinesus out cause he was reminded of the situation with Amraen.

Btw.Amraen is such a cool character.

[WillowDarkling]

Chapter 35.

Oh, wow.

It's time to beg forgiveness once again. I'm so sorry for being so late with the new chapter, guys, but like I said in the AN I've been suffering from horrible writer's block. Or I've got Old Timer's disease now that I've turned 30!

And on top of it, I'm still getting used to work, and I'm planning a wedding that's supposed to happen in SIX weeks. I can't believe it's so close. And the days go by far too quickly.

Anyway. This particular chapter (#35) felt like it just didn't want to be written, and it was a complete pain to write. Literally felt like pulling teeth.

I personally think it's utter crap, and should be buried in a shallow grave, covered in lime and forgotten about. But it's a plot point so it had to be written.

Hopefully with this out of the way, I'll be able to produce the following chapters a little faster.

Now for the reviews.

There's been so many of them since I last posted that I'm only going to answer a couple of them, but those I don't mention for the reviews, they are the greatest, just like you all are, and I you for it.

Now for the ones I wanted to mention specifically:

womo 2010-05-04 id # 3000151992

ch 32: awww. polinues' first taste of murder. and the aftermath. i think it's sort of cool that he's not so squeamish about it. it gives his character some depth.

anyway letting you know that in order to review i had to be signed in (so you can't get any anonymous reviews). you might want to change that option if you want to let people review this story anonymously.

i enjoyed the chapter! polinues' personal touch to that necklace was so cute.

I only quoted the last one of your reviews, womo, but thank you immensely for the many reviews. They were funny and insightful, and yes, Polinues had no qualms about kicking Tisék's corpse because deep inside he wished that it had been him that had killed Tisék.

I'm so happy to see that you read the story so diligently, and can't wait to hear more from you.

lividfire 2010-05-23 id # 3000153158

Who is this cinamon-clove person?

*dun, dun, dun* I love how you're always fishing for spoilers, lividfire. It makes me laugh every time.

And in response to your post here on the forum, thank you very much for clearing up that confusion about your "Cliché" comment. You obviously meant it in the way that I chose to understand it.

Let's just hope that my novel will be published, and that you will get the chance to read it. I can give you one spoiler for the big novel... Polinues and Brigale are the heroes in that one.

kylee 2010-05-26 id # 3000153465

WAAH! More unhappiness for Leyjen. He is probably remembering how he felt when he realized that Amraeen was not his soulmate. I can't believe that Pol will ever love anyone else more than he does Leyjen. He has been in love with Leyjen for so many years already. Maybe there is more to love than just the perfect smell. It is not fair! Now Leyjen will be living in fear of the day that Pol meets the person with the perfect cinnamon/clove smell. How will this problem ever be solved? I want Pol and Leyjen to love each forever! This is too tragic.

Sorry, Kylee... man, I always get the feeling you'd kick my ass if you could, when I read your reviews.... but I love them for it too. It means that I'm accomplishing my goal, and writing a decent story.

Keep up the fantastic reviews, and I'll do my best to keep writing more.

And now there's a new reviewer. Class, say hi to Teaques: Teaques!

Teaques wrote a review for ch. 23, but I'm putting it up here so everyone can say hi to him.

Teaques 2010-05-27 id # 3000153524

I'm new in these revisions but I am at chapter 23 and so far I really like this story

I love the relationship Leyjen has with both Amraeen and Polinues. In regard to polinues I feel like leyjen is the big brother Pol never had (let's face it, Belnsair isn't much of a brother to Pol)

In this chapter I really liked how we see that Pol knows he is causing Leyjen a lot of grief and is trying to behave better so Ley doesn't have to worry as much. And the Journal part was soo cute

Keep up the good work, I will keep reading

Thank you, Teaques, and welcome to the group. I like the point you made about Belnsair not really being much of a brother, I never actually realized it myself.

And that's it, at least for now.

I promise there will be more in the following chapters, but there is supposed to be a story in there as well, so I hope you enjoy it.

I'll be a better writer, and update more regularly, but bare with me at least until I'm married. Once the wedding is over with I'll be able to concentrate more on my writing.

I'm sorry once again.

Has anyone seen Ayouka (Lady Tamiko) around here lately? I seem to have lost her. And, yes, I looked behind the couch, she's not there.

Anyway, Ayouka, if you see this, I wish you a very happy, very belated birthday, and I hope yours was as awesome as mine was.

Love you all, and can't wait to hear from you again.

Sincerely, Willow.

[WillowDarkling]

Yay, Kylee.

Kylee 2010-06-09 id # 3000154521

Great chapter Darkling Willow! How could these boys think they could get away with attacking Polinues? How terrible for poor Pol. This chapter made me so sad. I feel as if Leyjen heart has been demolished and he has given up all hope. Even though Pol is in love with Leyjen right now, it feels like Leyjen has already given up on having a loving relationship with Pol. leyjen should recall that even though Pol is his soul mate, he was also capable of loving Amraeen completely. The same can be true for Pol. Such angst! Good luck with everything you have going on. It must be hard to write such sadness when you are feeling happiness in your own life.

I had to quote this because there is one point I really want to ask you about, but lets start with...

Thank you for the review. It really made my day (was having a lousy one) and once again, I'm sorry for making you sad.

I'll promise you some delicious in up coming chapters instead... how's that?

Ok, what I wanted to ask about is this comment: I feel as if Leyjen heart has been demolished and he has given up all hope. Even though Pol is in love with Leyjen right now, it feels like Leyjen has already given up on having a loving relationship with Pol.

Could you elaborate a little on what gives you this feeling, how you think Leyjen shows this?

Because Hubby said something very similar about what follows chapter 35, and I'm curious because I don't see it.

Thanks again,

Sincerely, Willow.

[kylee]

I had quote this because there is one point I really want to ask you about, but lets start with...

Thank you for the review. It really made my day (was having a lousy one) and once again, I'm sorry for making you sad.

I'll promise you some delicious in up coming chapters instead... how's that?

Ok, what I wanted to ask about is this comment: I feel as if Leyjen heart has been demolished and he has given up all hope. Even though Pol is in love with Leyjen right now, it feels like Leyjen has already given up on having a loving relationship with Pol.

Could you elaborate a little on what gives you this feeling, how you think Leyjen shows this?

Because Hubby said something very similar about what follows chapter 35, and I'm curious because I don't see it.

Thanks again,

Sincerely, Willow.

Hi Willow,

I love the icon. So cute. It also tickles me to know that your hubby and I were thinking the same thing about Leyjen. I had to go back and examine the chapter.

Throughout the story, taking care of Polinues has always been a huge emotional task for Leyjen. Taking care of Pol after the fire and dealing with Pol and Arlathi has always been a huge challenge. Leyjen is a very gentle character and his emotions have always taken such a huge toll on him. I think Leyjen's character is tragic because he is sensitive and needs love to be happy. I feel that Leyjen has been dealt a serious blow by finding out that he is not Pol's true soulmate. Perhaps he feels that this fact means that their relationship is doomed to end whenever Pol's true soulmate shows up. If Pol is as attracted to his soulmate's scent as Leyjen is attracted to Pol's scent, Leyjen probably feels that he would not stand a chance of keeping Pol by his side. Learning this must be heartrending for Leyjen since he loves Pol so desperately. He has dedicated his entire life to taking care of Pol. Plus I feel that having Pol's love was the one thing that kept Leyjen going after being abandoned by Amraeen. So now that Leyjen knows that Pol might one day find someone more perfect for him, he is living in fear of the day that he will no longer be the love of Pol's life. That must be very stressful to Leyjen and he is probably thinking that he is devoting himself to taking care of someone who will abandon him as heartlessly as Amraeen did. But he still loves Pol. Leyjen's reaction to Pol at the end of chapter 34 makes me think that he does not want to get more deeply involved with Pol - not just because of his age, but because he has to hold himself back from sharing all of himself with Pol and from taking everything that Pol wants to offer him. If they were a committed couple, it would be easier to share his demon side with Pol and to do the more intimate things that soulmates would do.

The start of chapter 35 gives the impression that Leyjen might be feeling unappreciated and like Pol is taking him for granted by running off and leaving Leyjen to do all the chores - maybe unknowingly pushing Leyjen back into his position as just a servant. I think these lines give the impression that Leyjen is feeling angry and frustrated:

“What the Hell do you want? Where’s Polinues?” Leyjen hissed at the teen, Brigale’s black eyes sparkling with an emotion Leyjen hardly ever saw in the tall, broad teen.

“Not here.”

“Well, I can see that. Where the fuck is he? Go and drag his ass out of bed, and tell him I’ll drag him behind the fucking carriage if he doesn’t get a move on.”

Leyjen growled as he threw his towel on the bed, dark auburn hair flying in all directions, spraying Brigale with drops of water.

Brigale gasped silently as the smell of opium assaulted his senses with almost a physical blow, and without any rational though he knew that even though Leyjen was furious with Polinues, he was also full of fear for the youngster. And for no reason he thought that something in their relationship had changed.

I think Leyjen's frustration is definitely showing at this point. My impression of chapter 35 is that Leyjen is feeling frustrated with Pol and with his role as Pol's caretaker, and just as that frustration reaches the boiling point, Pol is attacked. Leyjen realizes he cannot slack off on his responsibility for even a moment no matter how heartsore he is. These lines really stand out in my mind:

“Here, I’ll carry him back.” Brigale offered, as he reached out for the teen, but Leyjen took a jerking step back and hissed,

“No. He’s my responsibility, he’s my burden to carry.”

Brigale stared after the slim cleric as Leyjen took off down the path, carrying Polinues with such gentleness that it was almost troubling. The trackers followed Leyjen at a respectful distance, but Brigale shadowed the cleric close enough to hear the whispered words that Leyjen kept breathing into Polinues hair and face.

“I’m sorry, Ilithil, I’m sorry. I should have protected you better. I should have been there for you. This is all my fault.”

They stand out because Leyjen views Polinues as "his burden to carry" but then he also starts calling him Ilithil again -showing that he has surrendered to his love for Pol. After the attack, Leyjen seems as if he has given up his anger but he is not any happier. I feel like he has given up on his hope of finding his own happiness and has surrendered to his duty to protect Pol. He is trapped in a hopeless love.

So sorry for the long paragraph. It is interesting to go back and see exactly why certain words leave a certain impression. I hope my comments are helpful and good luck with your writing. I am looking forward to the delicious !

Kylee

[WillowDarkling]

Kylee.

*runs around the room, waving arms and screaming at the top of my lungs*

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! I needed a smiley with an exploding head, because this comment was so amazing, my brain melted.

THIS was exactly what I'm always trying to squeeze out of poor unimaginative hubby, and only get "It was gooooood."

You actually saw more depth in Leyjen's character than I did, but everything you say is so perfectly true that it's like you're inside his head... in my head... wow, that came out worse than it was supposed to.

I guess I'm too close to the characters, and I feel their emotions much deeper than I sense their motives, so reading this was just brilliant.

You didn't just make my day, you made my whole week, and now I want to write. My motivation is SO back!! hahaha... crap, I've got to go to work, but I'll write when I'm done. Oh, boy will I write.

Thank you so much for the in-depth answer, Kylee, it was so great to read that. It's impossible to describe how much it means to me to read an "outside" view of Leyjen's emotions and thought process. But believe me when I say, it's worth the world...

So, thank you, Kylee, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sincerely, Willow.

[kylee]

Hi Willow,

I am glad that I could help. This is my favorite story.

Kylee

[WillowDarkling]

ok, wow, it's been more than a month since I last posted something here, but like I've said so many times, I got a bad case of writer's block, started working again after a year and a half long break, and was planning a wedding....

But now, I'm married, got three more days of my honeymoon (which is fantastic) and have gotten my motivation to write back....

that is almost...

I posted a couple of new chapters a few days before my wedding day, even though I knew they weren't perfect, just so I wouldn't feel so bad about leaving you guys hanging like that. The hit count went up pretty fast, but I've only gotten one review....

So, here goes:

lividfire 2010-07-16 id # 3000157449

I am confused.Polineus likes cloves.Len smells like poppy. Len loves Amraen. But suddenly POl and Len are confessing their undying love and are at it like rabits.

Not to mention that sentence that goes like this: I love you, I hate you, I'd die for you,I'd lkill for you, you commandme, till the rest of your life...blabla that is called cliche and stupid.

I really do like zhis story I was looking forward to mpreg, this is indeed a new take on magic&vampire genre.For some reason even though there aren't many descriptions about housing, nature,landscape through interaction of th echaracters you get enough info about all these things.The story i snever boring but..I did not like his chapter.

I am confused where is it leading to.I don't feel that the Pol And Len's love or whaever you call it advanced with this sexual act.I think it was uneccessary .. and If I would be cruel I would even call it tacky.

I'm very uncertain how to take this review, because you're previous ones have been rather nice, while this one made me feel bad.

So, I'm going to start by answering a few points:

Yes, Polinues likes the scent of cinnamon and cloves, but he does not understand the importance of this fact (yet).

Leyjen and Polinues have always loved each other deeply, and there is nothing sudden about this turn of events. And please take into account that Polinues is a hormonal teenaged boy... they tend to lead with their crotch.

I thought I had explained the depth of Leyjen's and Polinues' relationship well enough, but if something is unclear please feel free to ask. And I'll answer to the best of my abilities.

Unfortunately there is no line that goes like that in the story, but on the other hand, yes, I admit the line where Leyjen explains that he would never commit murder if asked to, but that he would commit murder if Polinues commanded him to, but only at the risk of losing his humanity, it is a little cliché-ish, but stupid is not a word I agree with. I'm sorry.

There will never, ever, ever, be Male Pregnancy in my story. I'm sorry, I find that cliché and stupid, not to mention physically impossible. Even though I write fantasy, I try to keep at least the minimal amount of reality.

The point that you make about getting info about the housing and scenery, etc., I believe that is what the experts call "showing, not telling", and I'm happy to hear that I've gotten the hang of that.

As for the sexual act in chapter 37. No, it was not meant to advance Leyjen's and Polinues' love. It was meant to show the darkness that lives inside Polinues, and his need to exert his power through physical actions. He has learned that power is best shown through physical force.

And it was not unnecessary, it was one more barrier that Leyjen has fought to maintain, but then gives in far too easily.

I'm very happy to hear that you like this story, and I'm sorry for disappointing with the last two chapters.

Although it isn't much of an excuse for bad writing, I clearly stated in the Author Notes that I was suffering from writer's block, had just started a new job and was stressed out with planning my wedding. But I tried to keep writing. Obviously I shouldn't have.

And finally I would like to point out that you did, nevertheless, call it "tacky".