Gay Men: Does Size Matter?

[Palantean Writer]

My question is about gender politics.

Quick version:

Do gay men worry less than straight men about getting beaten up by another man based purely on respective physical build?

tl;dr version:

I realise I've generalised about quite a few points in the following post, so I'll just say now that I recognise the limitations of generalisations and do not mean to offend. I use them simply so I can get to the point before you die of old age. Or decide 'bollocks to this' and click away, whichever comes first.

Something that strikes me about homophobic bigotry is that straight men seem to be less comfortable with having homosexuals around than straight women. I presume this is (at least in part) because men tend to worry more about who is bigger/stronger than whom and therefore who would need to worry more about being in a fight and sustaining injury. This seems to happen whether social politics suggest the two are likely to fight or not.

Another thing that seems to bother these straight men is the prospect of being the 'hunted' rather than the 'hunter'. As a woman it still surprises me that a fair proportion of straight males out there would rather think they're clever enough to trick women into bed than actually be attractive enough that we would genuinely want to, fully-appraised of the facts. But have a gay male make a point of lusting over a straight, homophobic male and the homophobe tends to get a mite twitchy. Have anyone flirt with a gay man and it seems to me that he'll be able to cope with being the object of attraction better than a straight man will.

Women are generally smaller than men, so if a woman was to get in a fight with a man she would quite possibly lose, however I think we tend to worry very little about this. Perhaps this is because we deal with so many other people who are bigger than us and just have to get used to the idea, perhaps because social politics (in the West, at any rate) say that it's wrong for a man to hit a woman. But we don't seem to worry about it as much as men do, is my point.

So my question is, as gay men are generally more comfortable with others being attracted to them, are they also less obsessed with other men being physically bigger or smaller than them and therefore with the threat of impending violence? I'm aiming in this question to completely avoid the issue of homophobic attack, I'm asking only about this general male obsession with size.

I think that's reasonably comprehensible, but if not then feel free to tear me down.

[Ryder]

I'm Bi, but size of another male doesn't worry, bother, or matter to me in the slightest.

[cygnavamp]

Well, I'm a straight woman, but I'll put in my 2 cents anyway.

I think it would vary from one individual to another. Someone who was beat up a lot when they were younger might worry about it later in life, for instance.

[ShadowsPale]

I am not claiming to be an expert by any means but I do have a mixture of gay and straight friends whom I have watched interact. From what I have seen (and understand) its not that size matters so much as being comfortable in your own skin.

I have a friend named Mark who is built like a mountain. We're talking six foot three whose muscles have muscles who will start to sweat if my neighbor, Ben, a guy who is five foot six, winks at him. Mark is very self conscious of what others think about him. His reaction is partial based on having a father who insists that "a real man would never lie with another man".

Then there is Scott who is five eight and as straight as it comes. He laughs when Ben's much larger partner flirts with him, telling him he can't bat for the other team as it would leave them nothing to wish for.

Arron is the husband of my best friend, he is fine as long as no one flirts with him. He get really angry when it happens. He says that he fears being labeled as being gay if he reacts otherwise.

Phebe, who lives behind me has no problem with straight men flirting with her despite being lesbian. Let a gay guy start talking shit and she totally freaks. Go figure that one out because I sure haven't.

FYI all names have been changed.