Guest NiRo Posted February 25, 2010 Report Posted February 25, 2010 So much it hurts is about a naive girl who falls in love with a very dark man. She doesnt know his darkness until further on in the relationship. As the relationship grows the abuse increases in intensity and his twisted desires come out to show. I need help writing the progression from when Josh the boyfriend is luring her into thinking hes an okay guy to when he becomes a monster and demands things from her. I can write Leila's (the girlfriend) part mostly on my own but I nbeed help making it beefier and less of a dialogue exchange. The first chapter is up and set later in the relationship...But i need help writing the before and after chapters....I have a few written with a friend of mine but she is unable to help me write anymore. I would greatly appreciate someone who could be the cold manipulative Joshua. Quote
canterro Posted February 25, 2010 Report Posted February 25, 2010 I went through your prologue and I don't really know: you want Josh to really love her? or ,aybe he wants to posess only? does he really think he does awful things? is he really fond of Leila as a person, or maybe he should despise HER as week? is Josh a real monster, or you want him to be human inside? Quote
Guest NiRo Posted February 25, 2010 Report Posted February 25, 2010 (edited) I went through your prologue and I don't really know:you want Josh to really love her? or ,aybe he wants to posess only? does he really think he does awful things? is he really fond of Leila as a person, or maybe he should despise HER as week? is Josh a real monster, or you want him to be human inside? He doesnt think hes in love....Not right now....I dont know if he ever reallyl oved her or not. Im still deciding on that. Right now and in the begining its mostly about posession and sex....And he knows that OTHER people would call the things he does awful but he doesnt always believe they are. He tends to have very few regrets. And to a certain point he does dislike her when she succumbs and acts weak because in the begining she was a bit of a firecracker but then she just wilted, and that took some of the fun out of the situation. BUT he has no qualms with having full reign over her actions. Hes perfectly fine with that. If you want to discuss the story further you can message me back opr cantact me through one of the im addresses i gave you Edited February 25, 2010 by NiRo Quote
PumpkinHat Posted March 4, 2010 Report Posted March 4, 2010 I was unsure if you were still looking for a co-writer or not, but I had a few questions in case you were. What exactly are you looking for in a writer to work with? Would I be writing just the actions of one character? Or would I be contributing to the story in other ways as well. Not that I mind either way, just wondering what all you would be looking for. Would you be opposed to advice on character development? I find the idea of this story intriguing because I'm just a nut for delving into character psyche. Josh sounds like he's got some inner issues, just by looking at how his thoughts work in that short prologue. Elaborating on that could be fun. Anyhow, I don't have much work up for my own writing. Only one story in the progress and it needs some serious editing lol. But, I've co-written another story with a friend of mine and I'll be happy to send a link to you. If you are still looking for a co-writer, feel free to message me. Quote
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