Would You Like to Date My Friend?

[foeofthelance]

Please Add Contact Information:

Phone Number

E-mail address

1) Do you have track marks and/or scars?

2) Are you currently taking illegal drugs of one form or another?

3) If so, please list them here:

4) Do you listen to ska, heavy metal, or punk?

5) Do you even know what ska is?

6) Is your liver capable of processing more than three liters of alchohol/hour?

7) Do you have a problem with homosexuals or bisexuals?

`

8) Are you comfortable with blatant racism?

9) Do you recognize any of the following names: Emile Zola, Tom Robbins, or Edward Rutherford?

10) Are you lying to us?

11) Are you comfortable with sadomasochistic acts?

12) Are you comfortable with watching other people commit sadomasochistic acts on your girlfriend?

13) Do you have a small penis? (Ignore this if female.)

14) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend committing random acts of nudity in public?

15) What nationalities have contributed to your heritage?

16) Are you comfortable with tattoos and piercings?

17) Are you comfortable with being called Master?

18) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend referring to other people as her Master?

19) Are you comfortable with sharing your girlfriend with several dead people?

[DarkInuLord]

I have a feeling like this is a gag and you're wanting us to say "Yes" to the ones we should say "No" to. :|

But then again, that last question makes me really think you're serious here.

Hope the search goes well!

[Psychostorm]

Please Add Contact Information:

Phone Number

E-mail address

1) Do you have track marks and/or scars?

2) Are you currently taking illegal drugs of one form or another?

3) If so, please list them here:

4) Do you listen to ska, heavy metal, or punk?

5) Do you even know what ska is?

6) Is your liver capable of processing more than three liters of alchohol/hour?

7) Do you have a problem with homosexuals or bisexuals?

`

8) Are you comfortable with blatant racism?

9) Do you recognize any of the following names: Emile Zola, Tom Robbins, or Edward Rutherford?

10) Are you lying to us?

11) Are you comfortable with sadomasochistic acts?

12) Are you comfortable with watching other people commit sadomasochistic acts on your girlfriend?

13) Do you have a small penis? (Ignore this if female.)

14) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend committing random acts of nudity in public?

15) What nationalities have contributed to your heritage?

16) Are you comfortable with tattoos and piercings?

17) Are you comfortable with being called Master?

18) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend referring to other people as her Master?

19) Are you comfortable with sharing your girlfriend with several dead people?

I'll play I don't give a fuck, i'm drunk and board

Email: turtlehead68w@yahoo.com

Phone number: I haven't paid my phone bill since October, I'll have to get back to you on that....

1. Not that I know of

2. Not at the moment

3. ALCOHOL!! O WAIT THATS LEGAL

4. I listen to metal, typically "melodic death metal", "power metal", and "thrash metal" DARK TRANQUILLITY IS THE SHIT 4 EVAR!

5. Yeah, but only because a friend of mine played a CD of it when I was riding in his car.

6. Liver fuck yeah. Brain.......... I'll get back to you on that......

7. No way, I lived in an apartment with two homosexual guys in San Diego for a while.

8. Yeah, blantent racism is fucking fine if its a joke but if the person is being serious then fuck them, how stupid can you be. Race doesn't matter, what matters is a person's underlying genetic code. Too bad we can't analize that on an individual level yet. Or I guess we could but it would be time consuming.

9. I belived that Edward guy gave me a cock massage a while back but other than that no.

10. No. But, if I'm a liar, maybe this response is a lie....

11. I am a masochist an a sadist so I guess I would be. Mwhahahahahahahaha.

12. Oh fuck yeah, abuse the girl till the break of dawn, that would rock.

13. I have 6 inches of glory, which is 1 inch more than average for those of you keeping score.

14. Sure, I don't give a fuck what she does, she can rape chickens for all I care.

15. I am half German and half Swedish. (and Dark Tranquillity is from Sweden, isn't that the shit!?)

16. Sure, just not on me. Having identifying marks dosen't thrill me cause I may need to do some illegal things at some point, you never know....

17. I am your Master, never forget that.

18. Sure, fuck it, I don't give a shit.

19. Necrophilia is fine, however if its in a state that its illegal, I didn't know about it and didn't participate in it.

[Calanthee]

Please Add Contact Information:

Phone Number HAR-tell- thede

E-mail address Gelaming@ Pelki.cum

1) Do you have track marks and/or scars? Just about everywhere!

2) Are you currently taking illegal drugs of one form or another? All of them and some new ones

3) If so, please list them here: Sorry too many to mention, plus the inhuman ones I make myself!

4) Do you listen to ska, heavy metal, or punk? Metal Rules and Punk groves! No I don't ska, I could fall down and break something important.

5) Do you even know what ska is? U put boards on your feel and slide down a snowy hill, until the fresh powder goes up you nose and then you inhale.

6) Is your liver capable of processing more than three liters of alchohol/hour? Actually I am up to 5 liters and 1/2 a hour.

7) Do you have a problem with homosexuals or bisexuals? No I just love.m to death 2 or 3 at a time, maybe 5 or more in my bed all at once especial if they are hotties`

8) Are you comfortable with blatant racism? Absolutely especially if its directed to a particular group of our society... those dumb as a stick and refered to as stupid Assholes.

9) Do you recognize any of the following names: Emile Zola, Tom Robbins, or Edward Rutherford? No! What did they invent, or who did they kill???

10) Are you lying to us? Me lie? Why would I want to do a thing like that???

11) Are you comfortable with sadomasochistic acts? Absolutely, its the only way to play and have fun!

12) Are you comfortable with watching other people commit sadomasochistic acts on your girlfriend? No why should she have all the fun... I wanta play too!

13) Do you have a small penis? (Ignore this if female.) No I have a great big one, its shape like a huge flower and when the flower opens... it has great big teeth that hang on for dear life. Try it dude you'll like it.

14) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend committing random acts of nudity in public? Swell let her go for it, if makes her happy. Nudity is better than Random act of poor taste in fashion.

15) What nationalities have contributed to your heritage? Varr, Uigenna, Kakkahaar, and Irish

16) Are you comfortable with tattoos and piercings? If they are on pretty people, not for me they hurt!

17) Are you comfortable with being called Master? Just call me master ask me to spank you Whoopee! Yeah baby!

18) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend referring to other people as her Master? She only calls me master, or she ain't my girlfriend!

19) Are you comfortable with sharing your girlfriend with several dead people? Possibly with several various states of undead, Yeah, but not when they are stinky and decomposing and fall apart before my eyes! It's just so messy!

[Psychostorm]

I'm calling BS on your #6, I'm pretty sure you'd be dead if you drank 5 liters in a half an hour.

[Calanthee]

I'm calling BS on your #6, I'm pretty sure you'd be dead if you drank 5 liters in a half an hour.

Psycho Darling, metrics... smetrics it confuses old Americans, beside what I drank was weak rosy- sweet wine coolers and if you think #6 was BS, you didn't read the other numbers they're totally full of #2 as well Respectfully, Cal

[foeofthelance]

Actually, six and ten are really the only trick/test questions. The rest are all actual requirements to one degree or another. Though why every assumes we mean corpses with the last one, I just don't know...

[Calanthee]

Actually, six and ten are really the only trick/test questions. The rest are all actual requirements to one degree or another. Though why every assumes we mean corpses with the last one, I just don't know...

Ok Mr Foe, how can one be dead and not a corpse? Unless you mean they can't get it up or make Willy salute, to do the Nasty? So come on already, what does dead mean to you???

I am curious, Cal the Har

[foeofthelance]

Um, Ghosts? Last count there were four of them she deals with on a regular basis, one of them romantically.

[DarkInuLord]

No offense. But your friend's probably on drugs. :3 I know somebody like that.

She does cocaine and heroine.

[foeofthelance]

Opium, actually. Of the bits I've actually managed to confirm? She met the guy of her life in a bookstore, procceeded to get trained as a bondage slave by him, only for him to die of a heroine overdose, which his parents blamed her for, so she didn't get to attend the funeral. Then met another guy, got engaged to him, got raped by him, broke it off and then proceeded to miscarry the child from the rape. Shortly after this, she managed to graduate highschool. She then proceeded to get engaged again, broke it off because the guy was an ass (this was about the time I met her) and has since gone through a series of "gentlemen" which have so far included: an army recruit who proposed to her in a cleaning solution induced haze, a guy who used her to cheat on his girlfriend, two of her friends whom almost immediately decided they were then going on to a "spirit quest" or somesuch, another guy who was so small she couldn't tell he was in until he started moving only for him to fall out and blame it on her for being "too wet". Next was the guy who blew her off four times and then asked her to wait for him while he got his career off the ground. Then the next guy also asked for time to "find himself." Now she's chasing a guy who goes to school with her best friend, and is supposedly a virgin, which would make him the third of the lot. (Tiny and the second fiancee were also virgins.)

Her interests include literature, poetry, writing, punk, ska, metal (all varities), tatoos, track marks, knives, being tied up, opium, and brandy, though shots are perfectly fine as well. Anyone willing to date her must first pass the Popeye's test. The test involves attending a show at Popeyes, a local bar which is really more like a small house party, most famous for the holes in the wall where people were forcibly ejected.

There is a reason we all decided we'd be more active in helping her pick out the next guy.

[Psychostorm]

Psycho Darling, metrics... smetrics it confuses old Americans, beside what I drank was weak rosy- sweet wine coolers and if you think #6 was BS, you didn't read the other numbers they're totally full of #2 as well Respectfully, Cal

Yeah I'm not too keen on liters but I know what a 40oz bottle of malt liquore is like. Wait, ounces aren't metric either are they, eh fuck it.

Opium, actually. Of the bits I've actually managed to confirm? She met the guy of her life in a bookstore, procceeded to get trained as a bondage slave by him, only for him to die of a heroine overdose, which his parents blamed her for, so she didn't get to attend the funeral. Then met another guy, got engaged to him, got raped by him, broke it off and then proceeded to miscarry the child from the rape. Shortly after this, she managed to graduate highschool. She then proceeded to get engaged again, broke it off because the guy was an ass (this was about the time I met her) and has since gone through a series of "gentlemen" which have so far included: an army recruit who proposed to her in a cleaning solution induced haze, a guy who used her to cheat on his girlfriend, two of her friends whom almost immediately decided they were then going on to a "spirit quest" or somesuch, another guy who was so small she couldn't tell he was in until he started moving only for him to fall out and blame it on her for being "too wet". Next was the guy who blew her off four times and then asked her to wait for him while he got his career off the ground. Then the next guy also asked for time to "find himself." Now she's chasing a guy who goes to school with her best friend, and is supposedly a virgin, which would make him the third of the lot. (Tiny and the second fiancee were also virgins.)

Her interests include literature, poetry, writing, punk, ska, metal (all varities), tatoos, track marks, knives, being tied up, opium, and brandy, though shots are perfectly fine as well. Anyone willing to date her must first pass the Popeye's test. The test involves attending a show at Popeyes, a local bar which is really more like a small house party, most famous for the holes in the wall where people were forcibly ejected.

There is a reason we all decided we'd be more active in helping her pick out the next guy.

You know, I'm not even interested any more, the girl's a fucking train wreck. I want no part of that mess. Next thing you know she'll be pricking holes in my condoms with a needle or some shit.