Less is more?

[Guest electrostatic]

I'm writing this fanfiction and when I'm writing my hands just type. I often ask my beta to help me if something gets too much or not done properly. She claims that she loves it, and that doesn't tell me much.

When I re-read what I've just written I realise that there's not a lot of details, as "he had black hair that shone in the sun" or "his blue shirt stood out in the crowd and made his eyes shine brighter". Do you think that this is a negative writing style and should I pay more attention to the lack of details, or should I keep on?

I also noticed that I don't have much dialogues and interactions, mostly thoughts where I explain the situation. I want to know how to break from my patterns and evolve as a writer, but I don't know how. Everywhere I've turned to I haven't gotten that good advise, if any. I read some of the threads in here and saw that those most active are kind and therefore I'm posting this.

Hopefully waiting for help,

Ageha.

[Keith Inc.]

Gene Wolfe says there are two things to consider in a story.

SOmeone is telling it. And when they do, someone is hearing/reading it.

Your story could be written to random posterity on a cave wall, told to a confessor, fed to a computer, written as advice to an unborn child...

Could be first person, told by the participant, by the sidekick, by an observer, by a prosecutor...

Written, dictated, built, or whatever.

Form the tale in your mind, at least the setting, tale teller and listener(s).

Figure out what the teller wants to convey, then convey it.

A first person speaker may get deep into his own motivations. Especially someone like Spenser explaining how he solved the case or why he shot the bad guy, or someone trying to explain to their kid why they picked this woman.

A third person speaker probably would quote a lot, maybe guess at motivation.

And so on...

Oh, and if you're thinking you need more dialogue, consider drafting the story as a script. Block it out:

Speaker: I think that you need to say this.

Listener: um, hmmm.

Speaker: Then later, go back and block out the actions and location.

[greenwizard]

I hate it when a beta just reads it and say they liked it without doing any actual beta'ing. I'm good, but I know I'm not perfect. For instance, I'm a master at dialogue, but I stink at description.

Keith's advice was good. You see it inside your head, but readers can't. Try to look at your writing and pretend to be a reader who is seeing it for the first time and think about whether or not you'd understand what's going on.