Maiafay
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Posts posted by Maiafay
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While she sounds like a well-rounded character, I would have to see the writing. Most of the time, it's the writing that determines the sue, not the character.
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Unless you specify you want detailed feedback or concrit, someone like me won't bother leaving anything. I know that seems rude, but I've been burned by fanbrats who want nothing less than praise, and if I have nothing to say to improve the story, then I won't say anything at all. I don't like writing one-liners for the same reason I hate getting them: they are a waste of space and do nothing to help the story or author improve. There are many people who will lurk and say nothing for fear they will sound stupid; many just don't have time to leave a detailed review.
It's a hit or miss thing, really, but if you want concrit or someone to leave decent feedback, put an author's note telling so. That might help.
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Here is what I found:
Resident Evil:
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600082793
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600005481
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600005402
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=544201354
Silent Hill: (feel a little bad since one author is my friend
)http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081471
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081048
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600080899
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600080582
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600080561
http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600080041
And can I make a request? I know the games section is far off in the project, but can Resident Evil and Silent Hill be categorized better? There are 12 pages in the RE section and 7 in the SH section. Thank you
I'll be going through these two categories to see if I can find more fics that are no-no's.
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This user for one, took my avatar (though this was before I realized when I upload one, it goes to a collective pool), and has posted one, very nasty story. Blatant troll fic.
Profile: http://lotr.adult-fanfiction.org/authors.php?no=1296844603
Story: http://lotr.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600080674
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Heh, I just gave concrit and the author informed me that anything negative must be emailed. I don't agree. I told her I get suspicious if all I see is praise praise praise. Is there anything on AFF that can educate authors that reviews aren't and shouldn't be all praise? I see this attitude often on AFF.
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^Doesn't realize I'm lazy
< I like cheese
V probably likes cheese too
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^ Probably likes baking cakes
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Blondes
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I'm not new, but during the wipe out of non-active members, I got the boot.
Anyway, I write for the games section mostly: Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and Fatal Frame. I prefer horror, fantasy subjects and well-written slash (slash with a purpose and written at a decent prose level). I work retail and freelance professionally as an illustrator.
I also have a short story soon to be published in an anthology this year.
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I post on AFF, FFN and my LJ. I also have one archive for Silent Hill that I update on occasion. FFN is the only place I can post my tutorials since AFF took down the resource section
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Wow...isn't this a little elitist?
Have you not considered that smaller fandoms garner less reviews? I've seen excellent stories with 5-15+ reviews, but are in fandoms that have less traffic volume. I've also seen BNF's that have crappy stories but multitudes of fangirls/boys will squeal at them not for the writing, but for the pairing/sex.
This negates the review fallacy:
500-1000 reviews =/= great author.
No...it just doesn't.
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Hmm.
I don't see a problem with the cliches, but I'm not liking the POV switch without some sort of divider. Your POV's are middle third person, which isn't bad, but you are keeping the reader from getting too close. Are you certain you wish for that distance? Also, I see no motivation for Bunnie's feelings, nor for Rotor. They seem to be thrown into the story a little haphazardly and expected to play the scene out. You also "tell" instead of "show", like here:
Bunnie was a highly desirable woman. Most of the Knothole males would give 10 years of their lives to be in this situation with her. Rotor fancied her too, but something in him just couldn't level this. As she sighed with pleasure and lowered herself down as if to prompt him to make a move, he broke off the kiss.This isn't wrong per se, but instead of "highly desirable woman" consider:
Rotor looked at Bunnie, his gaze roaming over her large blue eyes and delicate face; what Knothole male wouldn't want her? There was something about her though, something in the earnest way she pressed against him that made him think twice about pushing this to the next level. It felt wrong.
As she sighed with pleasure and nuzzled closer, he broke the kiss. (no need for "off")
Try to stay away from telling us how they feel or what they appear as...find a way of "showing" us this information.
Oh, a nitpick over a misplaced modifier:
She took a deep breath, tossed one of her ears back over her head, winked at herself in her reflection and headed over to the tent, butterflies wheeling in her stomach, where she crawled insideAre the butterflies wheeling where she crawled inside? You should tweak and say something like this:
"She took a deep breath, tossed one of her ears back over her head and winked at herself in her reflection. Butterflies wheeled in her stomach as she neared the tent, but she steeled herself and crawled inside."
...but these come with practice. What you do have is a good flow, though some words you repeat here and there. It was clear and easy to read, however, and that's a good base to build on.
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I'd vote "no" simply because my overall opinion towards fanfiction and its authors (I haven't found a single enjoyable, well-written fanfic anywhere where there are fanfics ever) is rather negative and skeptical, but I have to agree that there are plenty of original fiction authors that are bad at writing. They can't introduce their characters subtly, or in the way one should when you have original characters and just expect their reader to love them as they love them from just reading their name.
I'm torn.
Interesting, do you feel that way about your own work?
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I'm not hurting for reviews, but I find it's the fandom you're in that makes a difference. The bigger the fandom, the higher the reviews. Then the other factor is laziness, lack of time--or as some readers have confessed, they're intimidated by me, lol. This reaction isn't only for my, uh, aggressiveness, but the fact they have no idea what to say to me. So I get the hits, but not the ratio in reviews.
The other thing I do to garner some feedback is to post on LJ communities and advertise my story. That brings in new readers and hence, more reviews.
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Heh, sometimes I prefer editing to actually writing the story sometimes. It allows me to polish and tweak to perfection (or not
) . I enjoy editing others as well, but that can be time consuming depending on the level of their craft. I did beta for a while, but then it seemed that I was rewriting the story. When it gets to that point, there's no point and I think betas then are better off cutting the author loose. Anyway, I edit as the books Self Editing for fiction Writer's by Browne and King and Novelist's Bootcamp by Todd A. Stone suggest. The trick is to do it in stages. First you look at your spelling, then dialogue, then logic/plot, then characterization, then repetitiveness, etc. That way, you can focus on one thing at a time and editing won't be such a chore. Good books, both of them.
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Where did the resources go? Gah, I had three tips on there.
Category name: Writing Tips
Section category to be in: Resources?
Is it coming back?
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No idea what this place was for... but um... who all has managaed to gain access to the room?
I have; bought a mystery box...do they always have passwords?
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This may be a little late, but here is a snippet of my tutorial I'll be posting in the resource section when I get it finished. POV's are my specialty
◊ Limitations of Perception
The most important aspect of first-person is what you can write. Dialogue, action, thoughts are all colored through the rose-colored glasses of the character. If he or she sees the world as a happy joyful place, he or she will convey that through observation and voice. As I said before, first person won’t say:
“I’m six foot, one hundred and ten pounds with blue eyes and pale skin”. People don’t think like that!
Then there is action. Actions are done by reaction, not observation. Take this third-person view for example (taken from Kress’s book):
Grunting, Jerry lifted the bag from the car. Halfway to the house, he dropped it. Eggs and milk crashed onto the sidewalk, and grapes rolled into the azaleas. Jerry stomped inside and slammed the door.Now, first-person, concentrating on reactions:
As I lifted the bag from the car, I felt it slip. Shit! Eggs and milk smashed on the sidewalk, grapes rolling into Linda’s azaleas...Some days there’s no point in even trying. I left the mess and stomped inside.◊ Voice
The biggest advantage is not what you say, but how you say it. First-person is told through the character’s words, allowing us to “hear” his or her natural voice. Words characterize by their diction, cadence, complexity and attitude. Is your character melancholy? Then they will have vocabulary to match that voice. Are they simple minded? Then their thoughts will be short and simple. Words reveal how the character thinks and the way he or she thinks. Voice can reveal ethnicity, religionm, historical era as well as character. Joe Bob from down south will have different thoughts than Susan Manner from New York. Their vocabulary will be different, as well as tone and attitude. Keep this in mind for your characters!
◊ Distance
In first person, we are in their heads at all times. No exceptions. Do not say: “I’m wondering if Joe will come over”. This is distancing your reader from the character. Instead say these:
- Will Joe come over today?
- Maybe Joe will come over.
- Joe should come over later, he said he would.
- Damn it, Joe said he would come over, but he’s not here yet.
- Hope fluttered in my stomach. Joe was coming over later. I couldn’t wait!
Each plants the reader inside the character’s head, and also gives hints of attitude and voice.
◊ Advantages of first person:
Immediacy: We are inside the character’s head, so we’re experiencing sensations as the character receives them. When something happens to the fictional “I”, it feels real to the reader’s “I”.
Language: We can understand a great deal about a character just by the way they talk. In the example above, the character thinks in rather formal tones. This says something to us about his character. If he were to say, talk like a hippy, the scene and character would have an entirely different tone.
Range: Memories, impressions and opinions are easily expressed in first person since the reader is already inside the character’s head. The transition between flashback or thought is less artificial than it would be in any other POV (except for close third person, but we’ll get to that later).
◊ Disadvantages:
There are many more than advantages, believe it or not.
- You cannot include any scene where your POV is not present.
- You cannot include any information your character would not naturally have.
- You must include all the information your character does have; to not would make the reader feel duped, cheated. Their trust of your character and the plausibility of your story would suffer.
- You are limited to your POV character’s interpretation of the world; i.e., if they are suspicious of everyone, then everyone must be described as that character would see them. Even if the other character is honorable, this must be shown in a dramatic way to get through to your POV character.
- Biggest danger: you already have “I” in your head. Beginning writers fall into the trap of infusing too much of themselves into their character and they lose objectivity. A writer must be neutral and careful their characters don’t begin to sound like themselves. This is what makes the first person POV harder than it looks. Not many writers can be objective and chances are, if their character feels strongly about a subject, the reader will assume the author does as well unless that author can define where they end and the character begins.
LOL, there is actually more...but I'll post it when I'm finished with all the POVs (third, novelty, and omniscient)
Why Mary Sue Litmus Tests Suck
in Original Character Development
Posted · Edited by Maiafay
Litmus tests are for those with either little or no skill in creating OC's, too insecure in their writing and character creation, or for those who want a laugh on how high or low their character will score. All anyone has to do when creating characters is read one of the numerous creating-character books out there, or learn from their mistakes.
Maybe the litmus test can be a guideline on what to avoid with OCs, but I never bother with them. I did one or two for fun and got a low score, but even if my score was high, that wouldn't change how I had the character. The Sue is in the writing, not the traits.
Took three years to be where I'm at now, and none of those skills I gleaned from the litmus test.