[Bad Author]

Concrit is good, what is bad is when people stalk you across TWO seperate websites simply to spam your stories saying they're shit. A human being can only take so much abuse before cracks begin to show. I have confidence ups and downs, some days the abuse doesn't bother me, other days it really gets to me and somedays I crack and go a little insane. It's just a perfectly natural human reaction, nothing to be ashamed of. As i've said before, concrit is something an author can use to improve, calling someone's work 'shit' and telling them to go die is as far from concrit as you can go. Recently I was also called a Homophobe on FF . Net (It's a friggin' trolls nest there! Lol) for doing a Kinky Slash one-shot that involved one of the characters dressing in womens underwear...I laughed at that, however, if I'm on a downer it would probably affect me a lot more than it should. I do accept that publishing on a public forum involves risks, it's inevitable, but I do it for the few people who do give concrit and those who genuinely enjoy reading my stories...i mean, they have to be out there somewhere, lol. Even the most well known Authors probably suffer from moments where they doubt themselves, again, it's only human to do so. No one goes through life without having some doubts, and sometimes other people's nastiness can really affect one's confidence. It's just one of those sad things.

[Troll?]

I know the one I left up as an example was a poor example of this person being trollish, if it had just been this single review then fine, i'd ignore it. Unfortunately, as I said, this same person did leave some other comments which were the same as I get everywhere else. I understand that you can't really do much from this, that's fine. Thanks for replying anyway.

[Troll?]

Now, I am not 100% sure whether people would count this as a troll but I'm reporting them just in case. They are one of those who are apparently stalking me, they commented on another of my stories but I deleted the comments as they were just rude. I kind of hoped they'd go away after that but obviously they haven't. -.-'

Here's the profile link to the person who has been (in the past) unreasonably nasty: http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296930818

Here's an example of their latest review:

Body of review from venesavv follows:		your stories only get worst with every new story!

It's pretty mild compared to other stuff I have received but it IS irritating, to me this isn't a review, this is just an opinion. Reviews should be constructive, surely? Maybe I'm wrong and this isn't one of the hoards of trolls following me, if it's not considered a troll I apologise. (Maybe i'm getting paranoid, lol)

I did delete the original review on my story...which was stupid of me. I kind of did it automatically...the Copypasta of the Review came from the e-mail sent to me when I got it. I'm an idiot. Lol. So, there may be nothing anyone can do as it's not really offensive or anything but there we go, I didn't know what else to do.

[My Immortal, Bad Fanfiction or Brilliant Parody?]

Personally I found it hilarious, but then I have read many a fanfiction that was simply terrible and laughed...I suppose it's why I like those really cheap crappy horror movies so much.

[My Immortal, Bad Fanfiction or Brilliant Parody?]

Now, I know how old the fanfiction 'My Immortal' is but I am curious as to what others think of it. I read it all the way through, after suffering horrendous headaches while attempting the feat, and have found that actually it's appears to be a very clever Parody. The spelling, structure and all the rest is awful (even worse than mine, and I'm Dyslexic! Lol) However, if it is a Trollfic it is an extremely clever one, the reactions alone are enough to show how successful it is.

My only issue is that it makes a lot of references that for an English writer is a little confusing, things such as 'Preps' I had to ask someone what that word meant. So, I'm just curious what others think...Is it a very poor attempt at fanfiction or is it a clever troll?

[Character hating in Fanfic(Harry Potter)]

Oh look, Kimmimaru's having yet another rant! Lol. Sorry, I may be getting rather boring but this is something I find very odd indeed...

Ronald Billius Weasley (That is an epic middle name isn't it? Lol) from Harry Potter...I have to ask, why do so many people hate on him? I have to say that I absolutely ADORE his character, every time I read the original books he has me in stitches. He's funny and even in the movies Rupert Grint portrays him perfectly (in my head he is now how I imagine Ron when I read the book or even fanfic). I love the way Rowling wrote him, he's a little immature at times but let's be realistic here how many teenage boys are mature?

Then you have those who write slash and end up turning the female characters into utter bitches, in Canon they're not (Apart from Bellatrix and perhaps Narcissa) I have read several fics where the girls, such as Ginny Wealsey and Hermione Granger are portrayed as bitchy, nasty and generally not very nice, which completely deviates from known canon. Ginny does stupid stuff, such as write in Tom Riddle's diary, but for gods sake people she's ELEVEN! I ask anyone to truthfully say that they weren't plagued by idiocy at that age, especially when it came to trying to sift through all the hormones racing around your pre-teen brain and confusing everything. Hermione Granger is a little hoity-toity to begin with but Ron and Harry calm her down and as the books progress she becomes a loyal and brilliant friend.

Lastly, I have read at least one fanfic where the writer has demonised Dumbledore...once again refusing to take into account that he is only human. He admits it himself in canon and says to Harry that he made a mistake where he was concerned. Everything he does is for a definate reason and yes, it does cause more harm than good in certain cases (Ootp being a prime example) but ultimately if it wasn't for good ol' Dumble's Harry would have been murdered on the spot as soon as he first encountered Voldemort.

Ultimately, the main issues I have with demonising these characters is because people seem to prefer to turn Canon characters into some kind of Canon-esque Mary-sue type creatures...which is so, so wrong! It defeats one of Rowlings main theme's in the original books; THE CHARACTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FLAWED! THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS!

Damnit people! No one is perfect, get OVER it.

I have had many, many reviews calling my versions of Sirius Black weak...because in my stories I exaggerate his home-life into an extremely abusive one, because in my opinoin no one who hates their family THAT much had a happy home life. He is a very disturbed individule in Canon and this COULD be due to having suffered some form of abuse at home...it is blatent from the reaction of his mother's portrait that at least a part of it was mental abuse. But anyway, back to the reviews, I have written some from the perspective of Sirius as a child, someone has decided to try and tell me that by making Sirius cry I am making him a 'Pussy' (Their words.) Let me just say that as far as I am concerned a six/seven/eight year old being punched in the face is hardly going to have the emotionally control to stop tears...get a grip you idiots. I have researched the mental/physical affects of abuse victims (I am writing and original story that has some abuse in it) and I can deduce that children who are abused will carry the scarring into their own lives. Even Harry Potter is not immune to mental scars, he is tortured by Voldemort in GoF and he is pretty messed up for a while...Alice and Frank Longbottom end up with horrific mental and physical damage from constant torture...and yet obviously I'm STILL wrong to have children cry when they're tortured and abused... No. Just...no.

(Lastly, of course, It's MY fucking story thank you, so unless you have some reasons why I should make Sirius ignore the fact that his own father is beating the shit out of him then STFU and get out)

Back to my OP, I am still utterly confuzzled as to why people turn the female characters and certain male ones into demons when in Canon they're really not...Perhaps someone could shed some light on this as I have no idea, lol.

[Bad Author]

Askew is never a bad thing, in fact, as words go it's actually quite a good one...Askew...yes, I like it. It will now officially be my word of the day!

[Random Stuff]

Hmm...I'm just getting the hang of this forum thing. Its so big it's a little overwhelming! Lol. I have posted a few topics, mostly bitching about trolls. But this topic is going to be a ramble, probably about bugger all.

So, first off I was taking a beak (look) at the Hall of Shame, I was quite interested to see what people do as far as plagiarising work went...well, some of it made me chuckle but then I remembered that I myself have actually used direct quotes/sections of JK Rowling's work...and I had a brief panic where I had to go through it all and double check it was all properley cited, lol. (I hope it is...) I got to thinking about why I used sections of JK Rowling's books in my fanfiction as, let's be honest, it's not really very creative is it? I chose to do it because I try to write as close to canon as possible, I used sections from the original story to bulk out my own story and squeeze it in nice and neatly. I suppose I do that because in the story in question I was writing for 'background' characters, I wanted to write in the bits she hadn't written. I am not sure if that can be considered creative or not, it's certainly not very original!

Next random babble: Obsession! I have a thing in my fanfic writing where I insist on researching every tiny possible detail, this goes from Author's interviews to the Wiki pages...I look at it ALL! I do it so that I can get the best possible understanding of my chosen fandom, I also go to extreme's as far as other research goes. I look into phsycology, sexual kinks and basically anything that I do not have personal experience of. I want to make my stories as close to realistic as possible, I hope this shows through in my writing but I have had many people give me the impression that they don't actually like the realism...hmm. Oh I also must note that as I am writing some Original stuff I do tend to rehash over the same issues, as in, many of my stories are going to have similarities in plot, this is simply because I testing the various ways I can write about certain issues, notably child abuse. Once again, this is a sore point for many of my trolls...but I need to explore as many avenues as possible and find the best to put in my original fiction...so there we go. Basically, I get so into my fanfiction that I become obsessed! It's debatable as to how healthy that is, lol.

And another one: Personal issues: a few weeks ago my father walked out my mum...yeah, I know, that's shit. Turns out he has been having an affair, even worse! This is a man I trusted, a man I love and he has trashed everything I thought I knew about him. But on TOP of that I am also at home looking after my mother, she has been having serious heart issues which have had her in and out of hospital...then of course, we have no money so we are having to rely on friends and family just to eat. :/ Then on top of it ALL, the real icing on the shit pile that is my life at the moment, I have to be referred to a specialist to be tested for Adult Autism. Woopdy doo. So yeah, it's all fun and games in the mysterious world of Kimmimaru!

Lastly: This sounds minor but it pisses me off; E-mail spam! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Hate it. :/ They get your hopes up by telling you you have mail then dash them all with some crappy dating site...

Anyways, thanks for reading...I hope to see you around.

[Bad Author]

I can't write Vincent in any kind of relationship...God knows why...although I suspect it has a lot to do with the fact that he is eternally obsessed with Lucretia. But Sephi is my One Winged Angel. I wuv him. Lol. He's just the perfect bad guy, and I can totally understand why he wants to destroy the planet, who wouldn't after what they'd done to him? (I have the feeling this thread has derailed...lol)

[Bad Author]

I've written quite a few fics in FF7 but I tend to concentrate on Cloud and Sephiroth, mainly because Cloud is the main character and Sephiroth is just fucking cool. (I have an obsession with Sephi, a fan-crush if you will, lol) I wrote a whole trilogy based around the original game, Crisis Core and Advent Children and even added my own 'afetrwards' bit...But I wrote them so long ago that when I read back I can't help but think; Wtf? That's horrible! Lol. Almost no punctuation, just full stops every five seconds. However, I got quite a few really lovely reviews from it so the story-line must have been ok. I also began writing about Sephi as a kid...after lots and lots of research into characters and storylines etc I managed to come up with a couple of chapters then stopped for some reason. Gravitation was what got me into Fanfiction, I wrote a couple of pretty terrible fanfics on FF.Net then stopped, then went back to it and came up with a couple ok ones...I have written two fics (Well one and a half as I can't seem to finish the rest.) which is a very excellent idea but I may have to re-write it as the structure isn't too good.

[Bad Author]

I'm reading the manga and so far I'm up to date, by that I mean I've just finished reading 'A piggy Party' chapter. (Don't know far along the anime is or even if you mean the anime or Manga...I forget most of the chapter names, lol.) I love Bleach but I couldn't write Fanfic on it, not without doing serious research, also my chosen fandoms tend to go around in circles. At the moment my main obsession is Harry Potter, concentrating on Marauder era...maybe one day I shall grow bored of that and move on. It's the same with Naruto. I have written Fanfic for Black Butler and Gravitation however, even if it was a while ago I wrote it. Oh and FF7, I have a tonne of FF7 fanfic on my Fanfiction . Net profile. That's another thing I am obsessed with. Love it. I'd die without it. lol. I'll have a read of one of your fanfics when I have time, I am currently concentrating on writing atm tho.

[Bad Author]

As to the top/bottom, Dom/sub thing...well, yes. People are unfortunately pig-headed about that and perhaps always will be. (I hope not.) But I'm with you on that, though I will say that sometimes, for the sub, it's about giving up that constant control they keep in the rest of their lives, letting someone else do as they will and just following.

^Oh yes, that is definately a huge part of it...I was just trying to explain it from the point of view of my Trolls. Trying to show that Sirius being a Bottom/Sub or whatever doesn't mean he's totally giving up his power.

Lol! I just read through your whole response, its random. I am reading Bleach but I admit to never having read any fanfic on it, perhaps I should start? It must be so easy to write Urahara as humorous I mean in canon he has me in stitches.

Perhaps we should gather all immature preteen trolls (I truly believe that these are the types who are trolling me, I mean just their outlook on life shows they have little to no experience) and set fire to them, we could have a party. Lol. I am so glad you enjoy my writing, it makes me feel a million times better that at least one person does.

[Bad Author]

I rode the short bus to high school, there’s no way around it. I have both verbal and non-verbal language based learning disabilities as well as ADHD. It may come as a shock, but I have a very hard time writing. I mean very hard time writing, and I..am..a bad writer…there I said it. I have no qualms about it and it does not shame me to admit it. I, however, write well enough for myself. I enjoy getting my ideas out to share and I’m always improving.

Think about why you started writing. If you believe your writing helped you achieve that goal, then you did well as a writer. With every piece of art, there will be critics and trolls. Stephen King gets trolled by family guy almost constantly.

I started creative writing as a hobby about 13 years ago my senior year of high school. The work I have posted on this site has been reworked by my wife (her online alias is botticelliangel). She’s offered to be my beta (it’s part of how she convinced me to sign up for this website) so I assure you, when I write on my own, it’s not nearly as good as what I post on this website. She does a great job at polishing up my work to make it much better.

You might be asking yourself, why is he telling me all this (then again you might not be asking yourself that) I want you to know that I’m someone who does struggle with writing, but I still enjoy writing. I admire anyone who has the courage to post their work and stand on that podium. Waiting for responses, and even risk having tomato thrown at them. I want to leave you with one bit of advice. I implore you to think about it...I mean really think about it...don't just read it at it's initial face value. I apply this philosophy to all of my hobbies, and it allows me to enjoy said hobbies regardless of how good I am at them.

“if you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.”

I came across this in a de-motivational poster, and it was a picture of a guy in the middle of crashing on skis. I thought to myself “this guy sucks at skiing, why does he keep doing it?” Then I thought to myself. “wow…that guy, loves to ski so much, that he does not let the fact that he’s not very good at skiing stop him from doing what he loves to do.” I decided to apply this to all of my hobbies. Since then; it’s not about how good I am at something, it’s about how much I enjoy doing it.

I’m sharing this with you because I know that once you start thinking that you are a bad writer; the thought will make you second guess everything you write, and everything you have ever written. DON’T LET IT! Don’t give up. You can either torment yourself by trying to convince yourself that you are a “good”writer (trust me…this will involve a lot of angst and self doubt) or just keep doing what you love to do.

(Just realised, I am SHIT at working this forum! Lol. I keep getting lost!) Thank you for the advice, I shall take it to heart. I won't give up, as I have said earlier, my rants tend to be 'heat of the moment' things and I tend to be dramatic and stroppy with them but afterwards, once I have calmed down, I find it much easier to deal with and think about it rationally. Your comments have really cheered me up however, thanks.

[Bad Author]

I understand your frustration, and reaction to the trolling remarks. Reading your original rant made me cry, because I have felt the same way. But feelings are feelings, you do not have to act on feelings because they are temporary. And I just wanted to remind you to look at the source: these are people who you don't know, who could just be doing it because they do get a reaction out of you. You don't know their motivation and you cannot control what other people say, do, think, or feel. What you can control is yourself. You do have the power to get better at whatever you put your mind to, regardless of disabilities. I didn't learn how to read until I was in the fourth grade, and I have consistently scored terribly in spelling throughout all of my educational experience. And I know I can change those things. I know I can work and work until I get better, because I refuse to just allow other people to tell me that I will fail. Its hard work, and it does hurt when people point out my mistakes and shortcomings. I choose to take those and make myself stronger.

I hope that you can do that too, because I want to have hope for you. I read this right after getting an incredibly harsh and hurtful review on an original project that I have been working on for about sixteen years. The review came from my best friend, who spurred me into writing in the first place. She means well, and she has zero tact. So while I sit down and read her review I cry, because she doesn't understand that she tolls everything, and then I read the review again. I look for the concrete remarks in it the things that I can take away and work on. Truth is no matter what I say she will still call one of my characters evily mcevil pants (grrr...), and I can still choose to look at that and say 'what about this character makes her think that way?'

I'm trying to be motivational to you, and give you the sense that you do have control over this because writing is one of the only things that is completely from you!

Good luck, and I really hope you can use these experiences and make yourself stronger.

I'm sorry it upset you. I just feel that sometimes I need to rant and it helps me relax (weirdly enough), I also find it is a good way to review my feelings as if I was reviewing a story, I can look at it objectively once I have written it down if you understand what I mean? I realise now, after writing all that, that it's stupid to give up just because of one or two haters, I think this is just something I needed to air, like dirty laundry. If the reviews had been genuine concrit I could have handled it, because it's cold and impersonal, I find that much easier to deal with than outright abuse. I have been called a C**t (I hate that word, won't even type it), been told that I should kill myself and that I am a terrible person, I think I have enough emotional baggage to deal with without having people be that personal.

I appreciate the support, honestly I do. Even if it does come from strangers, it's strangers who will more than likely have gone through the same thing and will have a much better understanding of the situation than my own friends and family. Thank you.

[Bad Author]

Alright, first and foremost, I’m going to say I’m a blunt being. That’s why I don’t chime in on many of these threads as people take what I say, and how it’s said, wrong. With that being said, I’m going to jump into this.

Starting off, I’m going to stay one thing very clearly. Dyslexia is not an excuse to put out anything that is poor in quality. Period. End of story. I’m dyslexic and I don’t do such a thing. I’m also published. Yes, it’s a struggle to work with it but it’s not an excuse to do so. It just takes you slowing down and going about things differently. Help from a beta would also assist in cleaning up mistakes you make on such things because of it. There are ways around it; all you need do is look for them.

The other thing I’m going to say is this; though I know you’ve had problems with trolls, especially on The Pit, the realism is that if you can’t handle such things, writing isn’t for you. Trolls are like ants at a picnic. They happen. And, the thing is, the more they know they’ve gotten to you, the more they are going to do it and push harder. If there is a site that doesn’t rein in such beings, get off it and go to other ones. If they follow, report their ass. It’s that simple. They might not be able to do much but they can help. Beyond that, you ignore them. Trust me, I’ve had my share of the beasts. When you don’t respond or let them get to you, they get bored and move on.

Now, I’m going to say something that you might not think is supportive or what you’re looking for but it’s factual… If you can’t handle the concrit reviews or someone telling you that you’re doing something wrong, writing isn’t for you. You are going to get them. Though you might not like what they say, the realism is that you probably need to listen. Especially if it’s been said by several people. Writing, and how you do it, is an ever evolving thing that you should nurture and make grow. It changes a great deal over time. You can’t change if you don’t realize you are doing something wrong and just stick to what you are over and over.

Now, you said you had one you wanted to publish. I’m here to tell you from experience that if you can’t take the reviews, don’t submit it. First, there are something most authors will get at least once over their life; rejection letters. Then, if it is picked up for publication, the edit process you have to go through to get it ready will about kill you. I’ve been through it five times now. Some of the editors are very nice about it and some make the overly harsh concrit in the archive for stories look nice. It’s bad, even if they are nice. It’s horrific if they aren’t. You do it and go through it, though, to put out the best product you can. Dealing with some in the archive is nothing compared to that process, trust me. If you can’t deal with the concrit or other things, you won’t survive this and will be in tears over the whole thing.

I’m not trying to be mean here, just lay out the facts of how it goes. Please try to take it that way.

First off, thank you for being honest, I like honesty and appreciate it. Secondly, I don't think you're being harsh, nor will I take it the wrong way.

I can handle concrit, if someone says; 'You can make it work better if you do so and so' or 'I didn't like this bit because...' that's fine. In fact that's what I WANT. It's why I like reviews. However, the kinds of reviews I have been getting are more along the lines of; 'Your stories shit.' with no reasons why, and 'You suck go die' (That's a popular one). I also have had people critising my characterisation based on the fact that I have one character bottoming, and this seems to offend their childish sensibilities.

I am NOT using Dyslexia as an excuse for posting bad work, I am simply saying that If i make a mistake then more than likely I have not realised it is there because I am dyslexic. If anything having Dyslexia makes me more careful, if more nervous, about my mistakes. People tend not to sympathise with you unless you point out your problem, I have been called thick for not being able to spell things...which is far from the truth, I suppose I have just set up an automatic defense system where I feel the need to warn people so that I can avoid that situation.

Then of course you have my personal problems to take into account, I think (after some retrospect after posting this) that it has made me emotionally vulnerable and things are getting to me more than usual. Like I said, normally it wouldn't bother me and I would ignore anything that is meant to be offensive, it never used to bother me, it's only recently that it's been affecting me.

Mostly this post was simply to allow me to let off steam, to get rid of my frustrations and try to order my thoughts, re-evaluate my feelings on the matter and generally have a good bitch and whine, lol. As I said previously, now i have had a chance to think and have cleared my head, I doubt I will give up...I can't stop myself from writing as it's an obsession. Call it a 'heat of the moment' thing...

Thank you for the advice, support etc.

[Bad Author]

Just had a thought...it's odd how the vast majority of my fics have the father figure as the instigator of abuse. Hmm...

[Bad Author]

I'm very sorry to read this, and sorrier still that people have been putting you down and degrading your ability. I, personally, think it has potential. Do you still need work in some areas? Yes. Everyone does. And professional writers tend to have editors who are paid to fine-tune their grammar, spelling and punctuation, so I've never seen the sense in being rude about that issue--to anyone.

I will also note that I have not read all of your works, but I can say this for sure: you do have a sense of humor. It's sly, it can be rather dry at times, and a portion of it is situational irony--but it's humor and it's there, regardless of what these other people have been telling you. (I should know; I am very picky about humor fitting the characters and situations, and nothing I write has no humor. This has to do with one of my two philosophies on life, which is, "If you can't laugh, you aren't living." Perhaps I take it overboard at times, but in my case usually helps others cheer up, even if I'm morbid.) If they don't see humor in your stories, that's not your shortcoming, it's theirs. Maybe they just haven't suffered enough to learn to laugh when they have the chance, but I have, and I think you have as well.

The people who think your works are bad should, in my opinion, be lined up and shot. (Of course, I think a lot of people should be lined up and shot. A number of government officials, for example. Still haven't done anything about it, but I wouldn't be upset if someone else did.) There is no such thing as a bad story, the same as there is no such thing as bad art. The only differences are the practice done and the feelings associated with it. One of my grandfathers is a professional artist/muralist, and he will openly tell people that when he started out, his artwork often ended up in the trash. He practiced and practiced, and now he gets a lot of people who really enjoy his work. I'll PM you the website if you'd like, though it doesn't have photos of everything he's done even in recent years on it.

I probably wouldn't make a great beta right now, but if you'd like I am more than willing to be your sounding board for ideas, particularly for this original story you mentioned. (Haven't read it, but you do write well from what I've read, and besides, I enjoy being a sounding board. It lets me help others and be creative at the same time, which is a fun combination.)

I agree with the lining up and shooting idea! Lol. I accept that I'm far from perfect, having read through everything I have ever written I have come across many mistakes, from spelling to grammar to plot inconsistencies but I usually just say; What the hell, i'm only human! I simply try harder to remove such mistakes in future. I probably should have a Beta as I do find it hard to tell if I have made a mistake but I tend to be very particular about how I want my story and if someone tries to change it I'll get pissy, lol.

As for my Original Story well, it's a Trilogy and it's already written. I am just going back through it, fleshing it out with description (My first drafts always tend to be the very skeleton of the story) and stuff like that. I also have a friend of mine who went to University to study Creative Writing and wants to become an Editor, she's said she is willing to act as Editor on it and she will get it up to publishing standards. But the offer is much appreciated, thank you.

I'm glad you can find the humour in my fics, I don't consciously write it in so it's nice to know it's there. I doubt I'm going to be able to stay away from writing, I haven't written anything for a few hours and can already feel my fingers itching and I'm being bombarded with a ridiculous amount of plot ideas... -.-' It actually does my head in a little, lol. I am kept up at night by my brain going; Oh! You could do this! This would be good! Why don't you try this! Arrrrg! Shut up!

I still think that perhaps my fanfiction is a bit...Same-y. But I can't write anything without angst in it and with fanfiction I always like to stick as close to Canon as possible, even in an AU. I just can't get my head around WHY people troll my stories. What is their REAL issue with them? Why can't they explain to me where they think i'm going wrong? And saying; 'Your Sirius is a wimp' does NOT count. In my stories the majority of the time he's a CHILD, children won't have the same control over their emotions that adults have, they cry when they skin their knees ffs. Then of course there's the whole 'Sirius isn't a bottom' thing...it's the one constant in the trolls' reviews. I have spoken to gay men, I have researched it, I have watched porn and I have had plenty of personal experience in the bedroom myself, as far as I am concerned Gay couples don't always have set roles. Being human beings they don't fit into typical yaoi stereotypes, REAL gay couples can be versitile too if they wish. Then you have the whole Sub/Dom relationships, I definitely have experience in mild BDSM and the Sub has ALL the power. People seem to assume that the Dom does but that's not true, the Sub is the one who can make the Dom have a good or bad time. I mean think about it, if they just lay there and did nothing the Dom the would also not enjoy himself, then you have the whole 'Safeword' thing, the Sub says 'Stop' and the game stops. It's the same in Bottom/Top relationships, the bottom can just lie there like a wet fish and the top will be left doing all the work and probably feeling really terrible about himself and his performence, so, I will stand by my convictions that it doesn't MATTER who is top and who is bottom. In my personal view Sirius makes a rather excellent Bottom because I reckon he'd be able to seduce the pants off of anyone, I see him as someone who breaks all the rules, he is the dominant one even though he is the bottom as he would be able to dictate to his top what feels good and what doesn't...if you get me? I have always seen him as a bit of a playboy, finding seduction as easy as breathing, and what is more of a power trip than knowing you can make people chase you? I find the stereotypes to be almost sexist because it makes me wonder what these silly little children think about women...Women have no choice BUT to 'bottom' so to speak. Women don't have cocks, and yes, there's strap on's etc but i'm talking about normal, everyday sex. And yet you get some very Dominant women, even without toys...no one ever thinks about that do they?

[Bad Author]

Honestly I have no idea what is wrong with me at the moment, it's not just bad reviews because to be honest I expect haters in any creative field but I am really struggling with self confidence and having my stories spammed and hated on to the point where I have to actually delete the story and repost it is just wearing on me. I love creating, I believed it was what I was born to do, whether it is stories or art (I'm an artist too). Hell, it's the ONLY thing I'm good at. I suppose that if I wasn't feeling so emotionally vulnerable at the moment I'd just brush it off, but my dad walked out on my mother recently and I am the only one who is with her twenty four seven, she also has heart trouble and so I'm looking after her. The reviews are just a tipping point I suppose. I do write a LOT of angst but writing has always served as a form of stress relief, I literally pour my emotions into my stories and in some ways this could make me more vulnerable. I don't know, perhaps it's just a temporary thing, I might just be going through a phase and will return to writing when I'm feeling stronger...who knows?

[Bad Author]

Ok, so, thanks to the help of many abusive reviews and people saying that my writing is boring I have decided to give up writing. Sounds overly dramatic doesn't it? Well, ordinarily a bunch of disgusting, childish trolls wouldn't bother me but the abuse has been nearly constant and that, on top of numerous other personal issues, has made me reconsider my abilities. I thought I had talent, I have, in fact, written an original fantasy story that I was going to get published after much needed editing but now I am even reconsidering that.

I suffer from Dyslexia, I wrote fanfiction with the intent to improve my writing abilities on the advice of a well-known, published author who told me; 'Never stop writing'...except now I just can't do it anymore. I read a lot of fanfic and there are is some wonderful work out there, work that I can never even hope to compare to. I put a lot of my heart and soul into my writing, I even got over 100 reviews telling me that I made them cry. I draw heavily on personal experience to give the story depth and dimension but aparently that's not what people want, people seem to want one dimensional characters who have little to no emotion, characters who are unrealistic and OOC. Because god forbid if a male character cries after his best mate is murdered! God forbid if they suffer emotional damage after being consistently abused! No one wants stories that stick close to the original books of my chosen fandom, I don't know WHAT they want but its not my stories. I have been told, not just by trolls, that my stories are all the same...well, I can't write humour. No one gets my sense of humour and I tend to get a load of blank looks from something that I find hilarious, so I tend to stick to angst. What is the point in continuing something that will, inevitably, end in disaster? I wanted to publish my own books. It's been my dream since I was a kid to have my own work in book-format, I used Fanfiction as a way to test the waters so to speak, to see how people reacted to my style...but aparently that's boring. Many times I have received concrit telling me that my 'style' is boring, well, my style has been developed over ten years of almost consistent writing so really I don't see how I can change that. I have stories ranging from third person to second! I have experimented with different ways to write, I even reduced one story to almost entirely speech. I am dyslexic so my grammar/spelling is not going to be up to scratch but even THAT has improved exponentially, and yes, I DO have a tendency to stick to simple sentence structures and words but what else can I do? I don't want to spend hours attempting to find the correct spelling for a long word that will only be in there to make me look intelligent. No, I won't do that.

For years I suffered from horrendous confidence issues and for a while Fanfiction actually helped me, I found that with support I had the confidence to overcome a condition that would ultimately hold me back in Writing. Now I have come to the conclusion that I will never improve, if my very style is boring and my plots repetitive, how can I ever hope of publishing my own Original Fiction? I loved writing, but now I just can't do it anymore! It's driving me nuts going over everything I have written like some kind of OCD turtle and evaluating my own talent...or lack thereof.

So there we have it, Kimmimaru is bowing gracefully(Or not, depending on your outlook) out of writing...for good? Who knows. I refuse to put up with consistent abuse telling me what a terrible author I am, ok, I get it. I'm a bad writer. I hope to god that no one else ever has to feel like this, giving up on dreams is agony.

Fanfiction was never a game for me, it's not even really a hobby, it was a means to an end. But now Dyslexia has conquered and this bad author is going to stick to reading, because no one can go wrong with that...oh wait! I can because I even read shit backwards.

(Update: 11/01/13 or, if you're American: 01/11/13...I think that's how it goes...) JUST AN FYI: I wrote this in the heat of the moment, I have decided, after extracting all my frustrations and taking them out in this rant that I will not give up. I apologise for any confusion but I like to rant about things, it gives me an objective stand point when i re-read my feelings...like punching a punch bag I suppose. I needed to vent to people who understood the situation, having probably been there themselves. Also, I have some personal issues IRL at the moment which do not help my state of mind, but slowly I am sorting through them and will come out stronger for it. Thanks for the support and advice, it's always much appreciated.

[Rude and offensive reviews by someone who is stalking me...]

Thank you very much, I appreciate that. I just wanted people to be made aware of the names being used in case they were to appear with those names.

[Rude and offensive reviews by someone who is stalking me...]

Recently I have been literally stalked across the internet by a Troll who insists upon flaming every single one of my Remus/Sirius stories, it began back on FF.net and I ignored it, unfortunately it reached the point where I was unable to delete the comments and subsequently ended up deleting the whole story simply to get rid of the offensive, threatening reviews. I was sent stuff like: 'You suck go die' all because this person does not like the way I write. Now it seems they have followed me here, unfortunately the reviews are Anonymous and I have no idea how to go about finding them or even if there is a way to prevent such things from happening. I'm posting here just to see if anyone else is having this problem, I am almost certain it is the same person/people using many different accounts.

These are the offending accounts that I have blocked on FF.Net, just to warn you:

Little-pixie-19 2286642 11/21/2012 remove silvermistoo 2295572 11/21/2012 remove starsdust10 3497890 11/21/2012 remove sunshinelovebrian 4139978 11/21/2012

The types of reviews I have been getting HERE are:

fuck off 2012-12-28 id # 3001396532

this is still the worst piece of shit in this fandom and you are still the worst writer in fandom so go die and don't spam this fandom with your shit you dumb slut!

ani 2012-12-28 id # 3001396533 you stupid cunt shove this horrible abomination and your unmanly nelly bitch Sirius up you gross ugly ass because you suck!!!

Neither of these are constructive criticism, I am so, so BORED of receiving this kind of hatred. I know there MUST be people out there who read and enjoy my stories, but many will be put off of reading if they read the review section first. There will also be some people who are upset by this kind of horrid abuse, people who would otherwise be very talented authors (I myself used to have serious confidence issues with my writing, in fact it was Fanfiction that returned that confidence.)

Here's the story URL for reference, I will not remove them so people can see for themselves what kind of vile things they are saying: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600096830

Anyways, hope this helps some people, and if you DO happen to suffer this kind of relentless abuse, I assure you you're not alone.

[Harry Potter Slash: What is the big problem with Remus Topping?]

I'm glad I got to unburden myself, lol. Feeling much better. I don't visibly get riled up, in fact I ensure I stay super passive agressive...admittedly I think it may be partly my fault for attempting to dissuade the troll by PM'ing them...I was really calm, I kept my head but I was really patronising and condescending, I told her that she's obviously far too young to be reading my stories and she obviously has some issues she needs to work through... :/ I'm probably paying for that, lol. I was good though, I didn't swear or rant or do anything much except send smilies and hugs...like the hippy i am. Ah well, I'm sure she will get bored and if worse comes to worse I can just re-upload the story then all the nasty comments are gone.

[Harry Potter Slash: What is the big problem with Remus Topping?]

Lol, thanks. Glad someone else agrees. I also can't see Remus topping Greyback, I mean seriously he's a Psychopathic monster, and I couldn't ever see them in any kind of relationship other than a forced one. But I write Sirius/Remus with Sirius bottoming, I DO sometimes let them switch if it's a multi-chap fic but for some reason I prefer writing Sirius as a bottom to be perfectly honest, dunno why but like I said I go through phases. I'm just bored of getting my stories spammed because now no one's reviewing them on FF.Net. Which is irritating as I need the Constructive crit to develop as a writer...ah well, I will see what happens and if they continue to spam my story I will take it down and re-upload it again just to get rid of the annoying reviews.

[Harry Potter Slash: What is the big problem with Remus Topping?]

To me constructive crit is where someone makes suggestions where you could possibly improve your writing, I accept this. It helps people grow and it is usually done in a friendly manner. Then you have people actually telling the author that they should die, their characters are 'shit' without giving a decent reason. I have to say I prefer posting here because there is a lack of trolls, if people don't like a story they tend to just move on rather than spamming the reviews section, which is good. An example of the kinds of hate I have been receiving from this troll is: 'You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!You suck go die!' Repeated about 100 times. To me, this is not constructive and yet I am unable to delete these comments...So there's now twenty comments about how 'shit' my story is, without giving me any decent crit.

[Harry Potter Slash: What is the big problem with Remus Topping?]

Yet another rant about Bottoms and tops in Slash fiction, this time fandom specific. Ok, so I'm casually writing away and posting chapters of my fics on FF.net as you do (Because I cheat on Aff...I'm so sorry...I...I just can't help myself!) And I get someone actually threatening to KILL me because I dare to write Slash with Remus as Top...I am actually getting a little sick of it tbh but I enjoy writing that way, I mean, I do sometimes allow them to swap roles occasionally but for now my thing is Remus Top...that will change at some point i'm sure, I go through phases. Anyways, I am sick and tired of it because there is no way to actually get rid of the spam they post in the review sections so people will read the reviews and see all these bad reviews made by the same person but with different accounts. I know I am ranting about it in the wrong place but I need to get this off my chest...*Sigh* So, now those stories have nothing but horrible, violent and non-constructive reviews because no one else is actually reading them anymore. Or perhaps I am genuinely a crappy writer...I don't like to think that though...