Omg this thread is fucking WIN. I've been laughing non-stop for the last half hour. Also, reading through the archives I found this one:
http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600103058
I rofl'd thoroughly. I don't even know why. It wasn't hot at all and I ended up getting too pissed at the guy anyway. Also, for those who claim cum is sweet, they've obviously been living in their own dreamworld and never tasted it.