Ereidivh

Shadowknight, I just wanted to say that I really loved this lastinterlude: I thought that it was done really interestingly, what with the wholedifferent perspective on familiar events thing. One thing that kind of broke itup for me was the Call to Arms lyrics interspersed. I thought it was a reallyneat idea, but that it would work better, maybe, if the interjections were lessfrequent, and maybe if what the words actually meant lined up more with thestory. So that you have a better idea of what the song actuallymeans (if you’ve done your research, skip this and this suggestion), I herepresent an approximate translation, courtesy of about 3 different onlinetranslators I worked through. Gloria! Honorifice! Praelium Facio! Animus! Gradior quo prodo! In excelsis precedo! Adversa Incurro! Bellator Decerte! INVADORIA! Desideratus Fatum Desideratus Bellum. Glory! Honor! Join the battle! Courage! Act with [pride]!Exceed all elevations! Contest of warriors! Enemies are attacking! INVADE!Welcome to Fate. Welcome to War. A less literal, but more prosaic translation might run morelike… Glory! Honor! Join the Battle! Have the Courage to live with pride.Exceed all limits in this contest of warriors: the enemies are attacking!INVADE! Welcome to Fate; Welcome to the War. My suggestions for the lyrics are thus: Put Gloria quoProdo! Where “Gloria Quo!” is now. Where Prodo is now, don’t put anything. Do the same with In Excelsis andPrecedo, and then again with Bellator and Decerte. Put “Adversa Incurro” whereDecerte is now, and then Invadoria where Adversa is. Put Desideratus Fatumwhere Invadoria is now, and leave Desideratus Bellum where it is. I feel like the words in those placeswould much better reflect what is going on in the story. Now that that’s done with, I have a few more questions,because I’m confused. This far,you have been sticking very closely to WoW as it appears to us in the game(adding in all your wonderful storylines of course), but here Therenil isintroduced as a High Elf. I’m presumingthat that’s a precursor to an unquenched, if not unrequited love between the–enil’s, as it were, with Aera having that as a means of relating to Ther. It was only slightly confusing to me,and I got over it, I was just wondering if you intend to cleave as closely tothe experienceable (that is not a word, but English lacks one I know of forit), aspects of the game (gay sex patch 4.04 Pl0x). Next thing that I was curious about, is that I had beenreading the whole story so far with the impression that the four (now five,soon to be six) companions had perished in the attack on the Verdant Glade. Iunderstand now that that may not be the case, and I know that you purposelyleft the description of the post-attack Glade open to interpretation so as notto reveal if the characters were alive or not, but I feel that having thisInterlude now removes that “Take this as you will” aspect of the journalentries. Of course, if you’vealready planned a long series of chapters in which all six of them survive,YAY! I hate it when main characters die. Not really, but it makes me sad. Alternatively, is this an alternatereality, as it were, an expostulation on the hypothetical case of them beingpresent at the Wrathgate, which they may or may not ever have been? Now I’mconfusing myself. I’ll stop, because this paragraph needs to end. Is Ceristrasz Aeranil’s lover? I thought he had claimedVaren. Guess I’ll find out. Anyways, sorry for the weird, ranting-ish nature of this. Imainly wrote it to distract myself from studying for my physics test, which Iam going to fail anyways. Oh well. Ereidivh

Wow! I've been away, and unable to read the story, but I just finished catching up on my reading (last time I left off around Aeranil's first entry). It was, if I may say, fantastic! I'm absolutely captivated by this new, dramatic juncture in the narrative, and can't wait for the next chapter! The writing quality is, I think, superb. I admire your broad vocabulary, but feel like in some places you're using it in a way that distracts from the story, rather than giving it more realism. For example, in that last chapter; would Daeron really write like that? "He had to be careful when turning around, lest he fall to the ground." I feel like it's just bogging down the story. I love the new Dragon story-line that's emerging. Have I been missing the hints to it along the way, or is just entirely new? Whichever, I think that it adds a definitely needed lightness to the last few chapters, and also gave the chance for the first sex scenes not involving Aeranil! Yay! I'll admit that, after having read only Varen's view of it, I thought that Daeron might have been visiting him in his sleep, and then had a horrified moment when I thought it might have been Aeranil. Poor Varen though, everything seems to happen to him. I'm sorry that this is turning into a bit of an undirected rant; I'll wrap it up. Can't wait for the next chapter, excited to see how Daeron and Varen work things out, if they'll find a Shaman, if the Aeranil situation will improve, how many more of Elune's body parts Daeron can exclaim with, etc. etc. Props, Ereidivh