momof3dogs

I'm trying to find an incredibly funny HG/SS story. A relative of Snape's - his aunt or grandmother - hires Gilderoy Lockhart to redecorator his home for him, I think as a wedding gift. I vaguely remember something about house-elves in love and a lost cat, but that's about all I remember. I also keep thinking about Lockhart being hired to plan a wedding and having a Martha Stewart book that he's plagiarizing ideas from, but this may be from another story entirely. Can anyone help me?

I read this story over a year ago and have never been able to find it again. The story opens with pureblood wizard Severus getting advanced knowledge of the impending marriage law from Albus. Severus has grown to love Hermione, who is still a student, but refuses to let her know. He asks her to have dinner with him and ends up proposing marriage to her. Hermione is shocked by his proposal and refuses, as Severus pretty much was expecting. Severus still wants Hermione so he wastes no time and is the first to petition for her through the marriage law. Hermione receives many offers of marriage, but in a form of protest refuses to choose anyone and thus ends up with the first wizard to petition for her - Severus. Severus marries Hermione and immediately sets out to restore his family's lost social standing. Hermione becomes little more than a trophy wife and is totally isolated from all her friends. After having an argument one night, Hermione runs off to Harry's room to spend the night away from him. Severus follows, watches her embracing Harry and assumes they are lovers, so he uses this as an excuse to seek out a prostitute and cheat on her in retaliation. Eventually Severus finally realizes how miserable Hermione is and they finally begin to talk. He discovers that she never cheated on him with Harry. They begin to open up to each other and by the end of the story they start to fall in love with each other. Does anybody have any idea of the name of this story and where I can find it?