sennheiser

As I understand it, the suggestion is that Willow and Buffy should swap places from the beginning of the story. If you're taking suggestions, I would also substitute Tara for Kennedy. She's more of a sub, and would fit well with Willow in that role. I enthusiastically agree that the story would be hotter if Willow (henceforward I'm assuming that Willow is Puppy) was closer to her old personality. Possibilities: 1. Get rid of some of the AU elements, and set the story in a specific season instead. 2. Have the narrator call her Willow, although her owners still call her Puppy. 3. Have her interact normally with Xander most of the time (she does not call him "Master"), EXCEPT during sex scenes. 4. Expand Xander's role, having Willow go back and forth between normal friendship and subservience in the space of a single scene. Example: she's helping him with his homework as usual at the Bronze, when he needs to piss and does so in her mouth (or, more mundanely, gets horny and has her blow him under the table). Then they revert to their previous conversation. 5. Bring in former lovers and friends, emphasizing that they're "making" her do things she never would have done before. (No actual noncon, of course - it's all roleplay). 6. Have her owners make her do things relevant to her previous skills as a hacker and a witch. Examples: programming her porn website, hacking into Twitter to reverse her lifetime ban, wearing a pointy hat (and nothing else) around the house, levitating a pencil up her bum, building a mechanical frog (she's scared of frogs) to fuck her, etc. 7. Bring in former enemies such as Cordelia and Anya to play with her (within limits set by her loving owners, of course). As for the challenge - since Willow and Tara are witches, how about broomstick play? 1.Willow, while standing, has her pussy or ass impaled on a broomstick handle of such a length that she can juuuuust keep her whole weight from being supported by it by standing on tiptoes 2. Willow uses a broomstick as a stripper's pole 3. Naked broomstick flying. If anyone waves, they have to stop and let the stranger grope them. (No penetration or Faith gets nasty). 4. They get fucked with the broom's bristles (Willow can do a spell so that they aren't actually damaged by this, but still feel it) Miscellaneous: 5. Willow and Tara piss in each other's pointy hats, then wear them for the rest of the evening 6. They stand next to each other in front of the webcam, clad in bra and panties, and fondle each other's twats while they urinate. 7. They don't eat for a reasonable period - say a day - and are then made to wrestle each other for a bowl of dog food. (The loser still gets fed, but after the camera is turned off, and is told to feel appropriately ashamed of herself.) 8. After casting spells against pregnancy and STDs, they spend the night as cheap whores, dressed appropriately. A magical camera in the form of an insect follows them (and their owners monitor it to make sure the johns don't get rough).

I wasn't arguing that Faith was irredeemable. I was arguing that, at that point in the series, she wasn't the best person to be sitting in judgment on the Scoobies. As for the Mayor, he transformed at the graduation ceremony specifically so that he could eat the graduating class. He deliberately built Sunnydale on a hellmouth as part of a power play. His henchmen, aside from Faith herself, are unreformed vampires. He is not a nice guy, even if he did give Faith a Playstation. This isn't Willow having therapy sessions with Giles; this is Willow having therapy sessions with the First Evil while sexually enslaving the rest of the cast for not taking good enough care of her during magic rehab. I like Faith. I think that the Scoobies neglected her during the first half of Season 3 and that it is perfectly in character for her to seek revenge. But there is a difference between "in character" and "morally justified." When you show Faith as a sad little girl who just wants a friend in one scene, and then show her torturing Buffy or Willow in the next, it gives the impression that you think that the second scene is ethical. I know that's not what you really believe, but that's the impression you give. It's a question of tone, really.

Oh, and one last thing. The whole antisemitism aspect of tormenting Willow? Very much not a turn-on, especially when all the Judaic terms are misspelled.

O...kay. I'm commenting here rather than on the fic itself. First, the good: I really like your use of synonyms. Adds a lot to the story. You're definitely one of the better writers in this genre we've seen in a while, which is why I'm commenting. The bad: First, while I like the whole anal aspect, I don't really see what limiting yourself to one hole out of three adds to the story. Most sex stories of this kind have a rising action wherein the victim is gradually introduced, pleasurably or otherwise, to different varieties of sex, with anal coming near the end. (I count three different double entendres in that sentence...) Jumping in at the end seems a waste of potential. You could easily have stretched Willow's section over half a dozen chapters, each focusing on a different taboo (exhibitionism, defloration, degradation, cum play and so on) before reaching the final humiliation of being gang-banged up the ass in public. Speaking of which, I hope this isn't the last we'll see of Willow. She's hot and she's shy, which makes her perfect for this kind of story. Now, some thematic points: I like the Scooby-gang-is-made-to-suffer genre of dark sexfic as much as anyone. But I'm increasingly getting the impression that the Scoobies are being portrayed as cartoon villains in this story and that we're actually supposed to sympathize with their tormentor. That might make a certain amount of sense late in the series, when they've all done things they're not proud of. Season 3? Not so much. The murderess Faith having therapy sessions with the child-eating Mayor is especially incongruous. Also, I don't know about the whole "They will suffer FOR EVER!" thing. I don't know about you, but I like these characters. That's why I watch the series. It's always fun to see your favorite hot TV babes being treated as naughty girls for a little while, but it's hard to see Willow in particular being consigned to hell for eternity. While the permanent aspect might be hot at the time, it leaves me at least with a bitter aftertaste. There are a few ways around this which wouldn't change the concept much. You could make this Faith's coma hallucination, for example (which would also explain why the Scoobies are so evil). You could have her eventually realize the Scoobs aren't so bad after all and draw a picture of herself in prison (restoring the late Season 4 status quo). And so on. I'm not suggesting that you pussy out and make the Scoobs like their degradation - I hate stories which do that - but throw us a bone here. Also, diapers. That's just ... weird. Finally, Xander. He knows the Scoobs better than anyone, and would make a perfect henchman for bringing them down. Look at what he did to Willow in the hyena episode. Faith, for example, is unlikely to know about Willow's public performance phobia - but Xander most certainly would. Best of all, Faith wouldn't have to use her pencils much if at all - she could simply get the various Scoobies to tell him themselves that humiliation turns them on, and that they want his help in devising scenarios to do so. And as long as he gets to take advantage of his friends, it would also fulfill her criterion of rewarding Xander. Imagine a scene in which a bewildered and horrified Xander sees Willow performing, and tries to stop her. Faith forces her to tell him that being a slut turns her on, and, in fact, she'll let her best friend join the other guys in snaking her drain in exchange for a shiny nickel. I think that Faith would get a real kick out of that! Plus associating with Xander might convince her that the Scoobies weren't so bad after all. See above.

I like the partner in crime idea, but perhaps it would be better for Xander (since Faith was planning to reward him anyway) than Angel, whom she doesn't like. It would hurt Buffy nearly as much to be abused by her close friend, and it would hurt Willow more. Maybe she could turn Angel into Angelus, but with a special chip, meaning that he could do all sorts of Angelus-y things to whomever Faith wanted, but wouldn't be able to harm anyone without her consent. Also: you're planning a happy ending for this, yes? I mean, it can be fun to see our favorite characters go to hell for a while, but I assume you don't want to leave them there.