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wickedeve

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Posts posted by wickedeve

  2. The Sons

    in Yaoi-Male/Male

    Posted

    Vee: More! YAY! thank you for the e-mail about he update. And hee :D

    this story is always worth waiting for, and I loved this. Not only did we get Videl/goku but bonus Chi-Chi and Goku/Vegeta.

    I loved Goku getting a bit miffed about the pins and giving Chi-Chi the same treatment. BTW pins, ouch! And you have no idea how much I love to see that man be so DOMINANT! Or you probably do, since you wrote him that way:) Very worth it, and thank you so much for keeping at it with the Goku/Videl scene. It may have taken a few drafts, but it came out really well done!

    And GLUH. The Goku/Vegeta. The way Goku responds to him, and listens to him, worships him. It's very hot. And I cannot wait to have a chapter with Vegeta dominating the hell out of Goku! And what is this promise Vegeta has made to him??? We shall see!

    And oooh. A villain... make or break, huh? I am curious to see where this is going...

    Thanks for the chapter!

    Firstly, thank you for another kind review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and your veg/goku is definitely in the works. Yes, I really do love a dominant Goku. He's the embodiment of power, and I don't like when he's portrayed as a fluffy character.

    I stuck with the fic ultimately because I'm committed to it. I needed the scene to be perfect, and I'm happy that you feel it came together nicely. I appreciate it.

    YES! A villain. And a very unusual one at that. It came to me suddenly one day, and it's really going to transform this fic into something with an actual storyline, that will have a conclusion (but not for a very long time). Again, you'll have to wait and find out.

    The promise will also be revealed, but not until the end.

    (I will give a hint at the promise tho': It was made when Vegeta first came to earth and fought Goku.)

    Thanks again.

    Goatisme: Does Bulma have no idea what is going on? She seems the only one uninvolved.

    Great Question!

    And luckily one I'm willing to answer, as I don't think it'll ruin any storyline.

    Yes, Bulma is quite aware of Vegeta's little empire he's building for himself. She is his queen after all. :P

    If you remember at the end chapter 3, When Goten and Trunks ran through the kitchen, the remark that Dr. Briefs makes "Those Saiyans love to play", yeah... Bulma's parents know too. And um... I have some plans for them as well.

    *muahahahaha*

  4. A Real Pain in the Ass

    in Yaoi-Male/Male

    Posted · Edited by wickedeve

    The characters in this fandom are martial artists, and are amazingly flexible. They also posses super-human strength, as they are aliens. That's why Goten was able to maintain the position. Vegeta happens to be one of the strongest beings in the universe, that's why Goten was extremely reluctant to flee and/or fight Vegeta, and instead chose to submit to him.

    As for the scene itself, I never actually worked out the mechanics of getting spanked bent over. I've seen pictures of others in that position, so I assumed it was a basic spank position. now i have to do spank research

    :P

  5. A Real Pain in the Ass

    in Yaoi-Male/Male

    Posted · Edited by wickedeve

    A Real Pain in the Ass

    Discuss here! :P

    lisbetadair wrote: I'm not entirely familiar with the fandom here, but seeing as you promoted it, I thought I would read it. I'm not going to commented on the dynamics of the pairing, or references to the fandom, because that's beyong my understanding.

    Concentrating on purely the scene itself, I would maybe spend a little more time in establishing it. I take it from the dialogue, that corporal punishment is not a normal part of this relationship, and the concept seems quite alien to Goten. I think some dialogue establishing why Goten has and should submit to Vatenga would be of benefit. If his grades are bad enough to get him expelled, he might accept punishment from Vatenga in order to keep his place there and agree to work harder as a result. At the moment, I can't convince myself that there's reason for him not to just run away from Vatenga.

    With regard to the strapping he receives, I think Goten's position is actually a little awkward. Most people can't, even when young, actually stretch to reach their ankles. I would have him bending over something. Even despite this, his genetalia is entirely exposed. You've commented that he's embaressed, but I would spend a little more time on the fear and humiliation of him exposing himself and submitted to Vatenga. Also, think about how pain is actually felt. We have two types of pain conducting nerves: fast and slow. If you stub your toe, you feel immediate pain which is sharp and then a duller but stronger pain a second or so later. If you want to cause someone pain in the way that Vatenga is doing to Goten, think about how you would exploit this.

    Finally, I would keep this scence from a single point of view, because otherwise it gets confusing. I would stick either with Vantega or Goten but not to move between the two.

    First let me thank you for reading my fiction, and taking the time to write a review.

    I really appreciate it :P

    I agree with you that the switching of POV was a little confusing in some places. After reading (and re-reading) i thought the end really fell apart, and since you left your review I have edited those parts to be more specific as to who's POV you are reading from, however I do want to make clear that I intended for the story itself to be told from a third person perspective.

    As far as the relationship of this couple, it is a somewhat taboo pairing, and having a knowledge of the fandom is really crucial in order to understand many of the references in the fiction. This is also a spin-off from an earlier fic I wrote called Steam Bath, which was inspired by fanart from an artist on Tumblr, this fic also references many of the "Bad Goten" themes that artist depicts, which is where the need for corporal punishment (especially by Vegeta) comes from.

    I have to respectfully disagree with the confusion of Gotens position in this fiction. I alluded to the fact that Goten would be bent at the waist, two separate times in the fic. Once when Vegeta gave the order, and again when Goten actually did bend over.

    Thank you again for reviewing, it helped a lot :P

    also: lol@Vatenga

  11. The Sons

    in Yaoi-Male/Male

    Posted

    Discuss The Sons here.

    I wanted to use this thread to reply to some of the reviews I've gotten:

    I-Will-Change-the-World : What a unique perspective of the Sons. I do not typically like these types of stories, but it seemed so different that I had to satisfy my curiosity with a glance. :)

    Thank you for checking out my fic! :P

    I've never come across a fic like this myself, and I'm glad you were curious enough to take a peek.

    Kanashana: oh man i love it!!!!! i normally don't leave reviews but i guess you could say im perverted lol i hope you post soon i like the idea you have kinda scary but i like the scenarios!!!

    LOL, thank you very much. Don't worry, I'm just as perverted!

    This fic will become extremely dark and scary in the future.... grab a blankie. :P

    Zofo: What a deliciously dark story. Can't wait for more :)

    And more is on the way! As of the date this response, I have three future chapters drafted.

    Vee: I have really been enjoying this story. It's dark and hot, well written. I love the edits and the changes that were made, and I am so looking forward to the next chapter. I hope you still plan on continuing. This will be one story I follow no matter how long it takes for the next chapters. I can't wait for the Gk/Gt and I am really curious if we're also going to get some Goku/Videl.

    Thank you for the compliments :worship:

    Like I mentioned before, there are more chapters in the works.

    Goku/Videl will be in Chapter 5, it will be......INTENSE!

    Vee: Okay this...this devastatingly dominant version of Goku? I really can't describe hot INSANELY HOT it is. His anger at what Goten did behind his back is just palpable and oozes out of the screen. And Vegeta just seems a little put upon by having to deal with everyone's issues. He's quite lucky he's got his Prince title as I think without it, Goku would run them all straight into the ground and do whatever he wanted. Particularly with Trunks for interfering!

    I'm not a big Truten fan but I can still read it. Videl's situation was definitely the big draw to this story for me, and I really hope you go into her session with Goku next chapter!

    Thanks for the update!

    Yeah, Goku is EXTREMELY pissed at Goten, and not because he doesn't want Goten to be in love with Trunks, it's that Goku wants to be "the first". In this A/U Goku has a very Saiyan personality, and his outlet is purely sexual. The reason for that will be revealed soon.

    Again, thank you for the kind review.

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