Unlikely Antichrist: A Post-American Romance

[Ariana_Pearce]

This is not so much a plug for my fiction as a pretext for saying hello.

So, hello!


Unlikely Antichrist is original fiction. A big trilogy. All three books are finished, and I will post them here, scene by scene, for as long as the thread has readers.^*


Author: Ariana_Pearce (my AFF profile)
Link: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107902

Length: Four chapters posted. More to come.

Summary: From the ashes of America's long slow decline arise child prodigies and young industrialists who form the world's first trillion dollar corporation and shake the foundations of the earth. Love, war, nanotechnology, and sprawling drama in three books.

Feedback: I crave it. Positive or negative. I also welcome any and all constructive discussion on the books!

Fandom: Original contemporary romance.

Warnings: M/F, Minor2. There is some sexually explicit backstory, involving characters as young as fifteen, but these novels are not erotica.

The plot and characters develop slowly. This trilogy is not for everyone, but if you enjoy being hooked by long, sprawling novels with romance, near-future high tech, and political intrigue, you'll love being hooked by this.

______________
^*I'm not looking for attention, ratings, reviews, or any of that (though they are welcome). The hit count is all that I'll be looking at. If people are reading, I'll feed their addiction.

Edited September 20, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Ariana_Pearce]

Fifth chapter posted. This novel is big and slow, but now it begins to heat up.

In recognition of advice from member and writer Joe Long, I have modified the posted Story Summary by adding the words, big and slow. These are novels, not short stories. Yes, there is hotness; yes, there is action, but the story takes time to develop. It is not intended for one sitting.

I would also like to acknowledge the many contributors to a lively and robust debate on writing style and craft, which recently took place on this forum's Suggestions subforum: Joe Long, Perv Otaku, Deseridious, Dirty Angel, George Glass, and others.

Regrettably that debate was cut short by a moderator, who split it up and essentially killed the thread.

The remnants of that debate have been moved to a thread in the Writer's Corner subforum. Since I don't own that thread, I won't be checking it.

Anyone who so desires can feel free to revive the debate here. If that happens, I will participate.

Edited September 24, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Joe Long]

Yeah, the thread moving, that was like the parents finding you making out on the couch and suggesting you move it to the bedroom. It should still work, but kind of kills the mood.

I have some reading to do, I'm only through two chapters!

My comment on Unlikely Antichrist was that after I had read the blurb and then started in on the story, I realized that the first two chapters didn't seem to have anything to do with the story description. However, I had an 'uh-huh' moment when I realized what I had read was the backstory, the long slow buildup to the action that comes later.

Edited September 24, 2015 by Joe Long

[Ariana_Pearce]

Yeah, the thread moving, that was like the parents finding you making out on the couch and suggesting you move it to the bedroom. It should still work, but kind of kills the mood.

Last we talked, I had remarked that your rewrite (samples given, before and after) had been much more effective-- not only by dint of the enhanced attention to setting, but also in terms of syntactical structure and diction (word choice), verbs especially. We can continue that discussion here if you would like, though I am still a bit hesitant about giving critique since I am so new here.

And no, the red text in the other thread did not mean I was offended. I merely wanted to emphasize that critique was coming, to warn off readers who don't want writing advice from a complete stranger. I would have used a <SPOILER> tag if this forum had one, but alas it does not.

Edited September 24, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Joe Long]

And no, the red text in the other thread did not mean I was offended. I merely wanted to emphasize that critique was coming, to warn off readers who don't want writing advice from a complete stranger.

the red text said STOP RIGHT HERE which attracted my eyes and caused me to read it out of context!

I presented my sample to you because I was looking for an opinion. This is my first project, I'm learning, you had left a favorable review on ym story, and you seemed to know what you're doing!

Now question. You say of your story, "these novels are not erotica" which made me wonder, "just what is erotica?"

Different online encyclopedias had differing definitions which I believe are substantive.

1 literature or art dealing with sexual love.

2 explicitly sexual literature or art

3 Literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.

4 creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire

Romance novels could be covered by the first definition, while the fourth, to me, is a description of porn aka 'stroke stories.'

The first two chapters of your story describes sex fairly explicitly, but they are shown as acts of violence and not intended to arouse desire (among the vast majority of people.)

My story is explicit, is intended to arouse but certainly has literary and artistic value (IMHO) as it first a romance.

[Ariana_Pearce]

My comment on Unlikely Antichrist was that after I had read the blurb and then started in on the story, I realized that the first two chapters didn't seem to have anything to do with the story description. However, I had an 'uh-huh' moment when I realized what I had read was the backstory, the long slow buildup to the action that comes later.

In the other thread I did not want to harp on my own writing since it is self-aggrandizing. But this thread is in the "Promote a Story" forum, and this is my thread, so I guess it's okay to say a few things.

First of all, there is a lot of hotness in the books that I am beginning to post. Chapter-long sex scenes! And I'm told they don't suck. But that said, I am posting novels. Big novels. With lots of foregrounding and fully developed plots. So the narrative builds slowly.

Truth in Advertising: The summary is accurate. Nanotech and political intrigue are major themes in the books, but those motifs develop slowly, too. The books are actually classified in ISBN as a cross between contemporary romance and contemporary drama/near science fiction. (Think Crichton-- God rest his soul-- with sexually explicit romantic subthemes.)

A word about the pace: the first few chapters set the pace, and I try very hard to maintain narrative consistency. That is why the books are big. Not a single scene is rushed. My books do have explicit sex, and when you hit them, you'll read them twice, but I want you to give a damn about the characters before you see them in the bedroom.

The books do contain sex, but they are not erotica. They are dramatic pieces foremost. Are they literature? Not for me to decide, but I try to emulate the books that I like to read, because I am writing primarily for myself.

I like big books of the classic/contemporary mode. Faulkner. Marquez. Currently I am reading Gustav Flaubert. (No, not Bovary, but one of his less known works, A Sentimental Education.) One of the most striking aspects of Flaubert's style-- and he wrote in the mid-1800's, when the novel form was still new and fresh-- is his meticulous attention to the setting; not only the focus, but also the periphery. Flaubert painted the entire scene, including the background sights and sounds. This was before motion pictures of course. His work was colloquial and remarkably readable, because he wrote by and for the vernacular, as opposed to the Victorian/ aristocratic airs of others roughly in the same period, such as Austen. By contemporary standards not much happens in Sentimental Education, for a book that is roughly 400,000 words long, and the reason for the dearth of action is that so much attention is given to the depiction of the scene.

My own work has been described as lush, and I do confess that I employ a ponderous, sprawling narrative style. The reason for this is that I am striving for a balance. I want lots of action, as compared to a Flaubert or even a Faulkner, and I want rich settings. But unlike the classicists of the novel form, I live in a contemporary/post-modern age in which it is permissible to leave more to the imagination. I paint the focus and I give especially thoughtful attention to the subjectivity of the principals, but by and large I am content to let the reader fill in the periphery. I also try to impart a fresh perspective, and I am always looking for an innovative turn of phrase. Somewhere in the first few paragraphs of the book I find a shocking way to give color to a dry topic: math, and prime numbers: Atoms... were comprised of only one hundred six elements, counting the esoteric specimens that popped into existence in mushroom clouds and fizzled a zillionth of a second later, mixed with gaseous viscera. The elements that made numbers— the primes— went up and up forever and lasted for eternity. The books contain a lot of this sort of thing. It keeps one awake and makes for a fun read, but it also makes a longgggg book!

Hopefully you'll stick with it long enough to reach the hotness. It's worth the wait.

Okay. Is that enough self-promotion?

That's enough from me. To all those of you who were there when the plug was pulled on the other thread, come on back and tell me about what you're writing. I'll check in here every few days-- or more often, if this thread becomes hawt.

Edited September 24, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Ariana_Pearce]

...

Now question. You say of your story, "these novels are not erotica" which made me wonder, "just what is erotica?"

Different online encyclopedias had differing definitions which I believe are substantive.

1 literature or art dealing with sexual love.

2 explicitly sexual literature or art

3 Literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.

4 creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire

...

A justice of the U.S. Supreme Court is famous to have said, "I can't define porn, but I know it when I see it."

Similarly, erotica is a term fraught with confusion, though we all know what it is.

The dictionary definitions that you've given do not help much, do they?

Here is how I classify erotica.

First, let us set aside the matter or scholarly works or explanatory texts pertaining to sex, sexual love, sexual desire. The quintessential example would be the Kama Sutra. We understand that under a strict denotation such works are classified as erotica, but that is not the focus of debate. The real question at hand is, what constitutes erotica in the realm of fiction itself? Or, to put it another way, what makes a story erotica?

Take a story. Any story. Consider its theme. If its main thematical context or motif is to propel characters through a series of sexually situations and encounters for the express purpose of titillating the reader, then the work is erotica. We can all easily raise examples of such works in classical literature. The Story of O (Reage) is a work of erotica whose primary purpose is to depict the sexual submission of a character to dominant personalities in a progression of sexual encounters that culminate in her acquiescence to her own human sacrifice for the titillation of her master. Juliette (de Sade) is a fantastically carnal chronicle of the adventures of a French libertine in which progressively more ribald atrocities are piled one on top of another, culminating in the protagonist's slaughter of her own daughter to the accompaniment of her own orgasmic release and that of her savage lover. The work on one level is a lampoon of French aristocratic sensibilities and an expose of class hypocrisy, but it is foremost designed to titillate the reader. There are also examples to be found in Victorian and post-Victorian erotica (Birch in the Boudoir and so on), which take the reader through a dizzying and predictable rounding of the bases, from frottage to oral to vaginal to anal, with spankings and requisite molestation all along the way.

In all of these examples, the prime motif is the progression of sex from one act through to the next. If the works have a raison d'etre, it is this progression. They might have else to say, but whatever else they convey is a secondary consideration, a situational transport device that services to advance the progression.

Compare this, now, with works that have some other primary thematic motif, yet which contain explicit sex in the course of their action. Examples do not have to be high literature. A good popular example might be Jaws (Peter Benchley). That book contains some hot sex. But it is not a book about sex! It is a book about sharks, and killing sharks! It is a respinning of Moby Dick and the archetypal battle of wills between feeble impassioned man and cruelly efficient, dispassionate Nature.

There are endless other examples. Madame Bovary, for example, since I'm on Flaubert, was once condemned for its licentiousness. Lady Chatterley's Lover. On one level it is a fetishist's dream. The aristocrat screwing with the grounds crew. But is that really what the book is about? Certainly not! Let's see.... Steinbeck, East of Eden. And of course, since Gabriel Garcia Marquez is my favorite novelist, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Innocent Erendira, which on its most base superficial level would be burned as child pornography, yet on a deeper level is a virtuoso work of modern surrealist short fiction.

In short, erotica is all about the sex, and the plot (such as it is) puts the characters together. Literature merely contains sex (or doesn't).

Edited September 25, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Joe Long]

I was working under a slightly different definition.

I use 'pornography' to describe works, written or film, that were primarily explicitly sexual, have the barest of plots, who's only existence is to arouse the reader/viewer.

I then use 'erotica' to describe regular works of literature in which portions describe explicit sex which is meant to arouse and titillate the readers, but is also meant to further the overall story line.

When writing fiction, we should only include the scenes and action that are necessary to the plot, which in my case the sex scenes are. It's then only a question of how explicitly the scenes are written. I've compromised on some of my word choices, in dialogue using what the characters realistically would have said, while the narrator tends towards more polite words, but not always - depending on the context. Even the level of explicitness - be it kissing, fondling, oral, intercourse - is necessary to the plot to develop the characters and their relationship. 'We went to the car and had sex' won't cut it. The details are important, all those motivations and reactions.

These details may be important if and when I try to get published on a place such as Amazon which his content rules. I'd have no problem labeling my story as 'Erotica' as it does include graphic descriptions of sex, but I fear they'd balk at underage sex - an nineteen year old guy and a thirteen year old girl. However, that's central to the story. The protagonist is looking for love and finds it in the wrong place. There wouldn't be much of a story without those complicating factors.

Edited September 25, 2015 by Joe Long

[Ariana_Pearce]

The lines between erotica and pornography have become so blurred, with the ubiquity of amateur authors and the ease of self-publishing online, that erotica is no longer permissible on mainstream e-book venues like Goodreads and the large commercial publishers such as Amazon. In both cases, contemporary fiction can contain explicit sex, but it cannot be classified by the author and/or publisher as erotica. By this I am referring to the "official" ISBN/ASIN classification.

Exceptions are made in most venues for classics, which must in the least be public domain.

Erotica and pornography are differentiated insofar as the relative degrees of artistic/literary merit. I would argue that Chatterley and Lolita have literary merit and are erotica. But those are also classics. New, contemporary work is harder to classify, because the demarcations between the two to a large extent are in the eye of the beholder.

I do not think that reader titillation (or lack thereof) is a reliable guide. The sex scenes in my books sure as hell titillate! But they are not gratuitous. They are cohesive to the plot. The plot is not merely a contrivance that propels characters into coitus.

Nor is nomenclature reliable. I rarely use invective. I am writing mainstream contemporary books. Fuck, cunt, pussy, cock, cum... yes, those words do occur. But they tend to appear in dialogue, and they tend to fit the context. I do not use them in narrative. The characters use them, when appropriate. I use them only when they are necessary, and as such they simply do not appear all that much. Nevertheless, as an author I am always striving to bring my readers to tears, or put them on their backs with laughter, or render them in dire need of a cold shower, as the situation warrants. Literature-- or in the case or my writing, trash that wishes it were literature-- is particularly challenged by its inherent constraints to induce tears, joy, laughter, and especially titillation.

Edited September 25, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Joe Long]

Sounds like we are in close agreement. I am trying to do what you have already done.

I have plot, a romance, that I am telling. There is sex, it will be described explicitly, and I intend to arouse the reader - but it only appears when it is necessary for the story.

When I was younger I rarely read fiction. I was more fascinated by scientific things, having read most of the astrology and cosmology books in the library by the time I was 12.

Now I'm in my 50's and what I know of how to write has mostly been gained by simply observing what I've been reading. In the last year I've been reading articles and subscribing to blogs, for the first time having structured lessons in what I was picking up in bits.

I do tend to be able to teach myself in this way. Maybe ten years ago I learned a good amount of the Excel spreadsheet over a year, followed up by Microsoft's Access database software. When my needs were to large, I switched to MySQL database, and now am getting rather good at the Python programming language. In some ways fiction writing is similar, except it's a subjective audience that is looking to be pleased, not a piece of software that says "Syntax error!"

[Ariana_Pearce]

I have formal training in English grammar, poetry, literary criticism, theater, and the novel form. The written word is my first love.

However I write fiction primarily for myself. An outlet and avocation.

Professionally, I am in the fields of software architecture and computational neuroscience. My English background, oddly enough, provides a strong formative background for those fields (particularly my training in structural and transformational grammars). Incidentally I do make a good living through writing as well, but the production is entirely expository.

Although I have a formal education in Letters, I do not place too much credence in it. I am of the opinion that the most effective way to learn to write is to read.

Edited September 26, 2015 by Ariana_Pearce

[Joe Long]

I am of the opinion that the most effective way to learn to write is to read.

I agree that is very important. I think I do better than most by being an observant reader, but it also helps to have things pointed out.

The two things I remembered most when writing was to be concise and not repeat words. You made mention of 'action verbs', and as you said I was likely unaware when I made my edit. I knew the sentence read better, but I didn't know why, which makes it more difficult for me to continue the practice.

So not just reading, but discussing it as well.

I do data science type of work for a geospatial data company, and in my spare time create more data science apps that allow me to sell sports data and analysis as a growing home based business. Then I got caught up in writing, as I can be obsessive/compulsive.

[Ariana_Pearce]

Posted another chapter.

I agree that is very important. I think I do better than most by being an observant reader, but it also helps to have things pointed out.

The two things I remembered most when writing was to be concise and not repeat words. You made mention of 'action verbs', and as you said I was likely unaware when I made my edit. I knew the sentence read better, but I didn't know why, which makes it more difficult for me to continue the practice.

So not just reading, but discussing it as well.

I do data science type of work for a geospatial data company, and in my spare time create more data science apps that allow me to sell sports data and analysis as a growing home based business. Then I got caught up in writing, as I can be obsessive/compulsive.

Discussion is valuable, but it can become dicey. It works best in classrooms, where participants are motivated by proximity and courtesy to measure their thoughts and remarks. Remote discussions of this kind can get out of hand.

I always get a chuckle out of the "anti-flame" and "anti-troll" threads that I find in forums of this kind. One unfailingly finds threads in which writers lament the paucity of quality reviews and the apparently gratuitous down-voting of stories. They make impassioned and apparently sincere appeals for constructive criticism. Yet all too often, when they receive exactly that, they go into conniptions and lash out in response, having forgotten the old adage, "Watch out what you wish for!"

[Joe Long]

I always get a chuckle out of the "anti-flame" and "anti-troll" threads that I find in forums of this kind. One unfailingly finds threads in which writers lament the paucity of quality reviews and the apparently gratuitous down-voting of stories. They make impassioned and apparently sincere appeals for constructive criticism. Yet all too often, when they receive exactly that, they go into conniptions and lash out in response, having forgotten the old adage, "Watch out what you wish for!"

I'm fine as long as it's not mean spirited.

The times I've offered criticisms of stories I strive to explain why and stick to the 'facts.' In once case, there was a popular series on another site where I left some negative remarks, although I pointed out that overall I liked the story. He replied in a PM, I sent him detailed remarks, and he followed up with a new chapter that expressed some of my concerns with character growth.

Perhaps some people struggle to criticize without doing it harshly.

[Ariana_Pearce]

I'm most entertained by the people who go ad hominem, tear my heart out, rip me a new butt hole and top it off by kindly advising me not to quit my day job. At least I have gotten their attention. Masochistic? I don't think so. It's more that when I am reading a review of someone else's work, I can't stand the obvious falsity of that unctuous kid-gloves treatment with which some reviewers so delicately tip-toe around the hard cold fact that the writing made them puke. Scathing reviews are more fun to read. Moreover, when I say that critical review and discussion works better in a classroom, I am not suggesting that the critics are more likely to think twice with their words before getting punched in the teeth. What I mean is that the writers are there to face the abuse. They grow thick skin by taking it. They learn by taking it. No one ever learns anything of value from praise.