"It's a Muggle Thing"

[Guest wanna_buy_a_car]

In a world where Vernon is a rather successful used car salesman instead of whatever he is in canon, Harry picks up on many of the finer points of manipulating people. Not long after he comes to the Wizarding World, he figures out that much of what he learned is useful but unnecessary, as he can effectively cover for almost anything that comes up with "It's a Muggle/Wizard thing," depending on who he's talking to. Nobody ever really questions him, from a combination of being who he is and the conviction with which he speaks. However ludicrous whatever Harry says may seem, he makes it believable.

So Harry, having the secrets to get people to do what he wants, uses it as any hormonal teenager would: to have all the sex he wants. From convincing the Patils that it's a very important part of the ritual to apologize for being a poor date, to convincing some muggleborn girl that it's very important they have sex for some magic rite, Harry lies and bullshits his way through the female population. And since he's the Boy-Who-Lived and the "Golden Boy," the idea that he's lying never really occurs to anyone except Hermione and Luna. Luna doesn't care because their friends regardless, and she thought he was cute anyway, so she was and is happy to sleep with him. Hermione knows he's full of shit, but can't bring herself to do anything since Harry lied his way into getting house elves exactly as much rights as they were willing to accept. When his con artistry led to curriculum updates at Hogwarts, he found her waiting for him in his bed.

Structurally, this would just be Harry lying and bullshitting his way to having sex with any and every female character possible, aside from Hermione and Luna. One suggestions for lies include citing "secret Parseltongue journals from Salazar Slytherin" that he "found." Another would be (for a post-Hogwarts, Weasley family ending) an "important magical rite" requiring that he have sex with all of the females of the Weasley family, including those who married into it, since by marrying Ginny, he effectively became the 7th son.

And for an extreme example, Harry tells someone about this "ancient law" that he knew about, that didn't reference him directly but used descriptions that only he fits (half-blood heir of 2 Ancient houses or something) that gives him absurd legal rights, saying he read about it in a letter from his parents. That his abusive relatives then burned. Of course, none of those things happened, so no record of the law can be found, but they can't imagine that the poor abused boy would lie about having found some remnant of his parents for personal gain, so the government retroactively passes the exact law Harry described, much to his shock.