LadyXandra

Looking for Beta for Original Story

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I'm looking for a beta for my novel, Desire Never Dies. It is a vampire action/romance novel that revolved around a vampire by the name of Kieran as he battles the monster that he had become after losing his first wife centuries prior. In the novel he meets a woman named Lilith who looks just like his previous wife and instantly falls for her. However, there is more at work here when a mysterious cult calling themselves the "Fires of Purity" begans killing vampires and non humans enmasse and sets their sight on not just Kieran, but Lilith. In his quest to save Lilith, Kieran battles his inner nature and the beast he had become, as well as the creatures that the Family - the trio leading the cult - send after him.

What I am looking for is for someone to read over the text, catch misspellings and missing words (I tend to forget words sometimes), and check it for over all consistency. I'm fairly happy with the way the story is itself, and really am only interested in changing aspects of it if it conflicts with consistency.

My novel's tags are:

Angst, M/F, Violence, MC, OC, H/C, Oral, MiCD, Fingering, MCD, Rape, Tort, Inc, Abuse, Anal, CR, HJ, WAFF

It does contain sex, but I try to keep it "classy", and except for one scene near the end, the rape scenes are glossed over.

There is gore, violence, fight scenes, and even zombie like creatures in it, so there is also a horror aspect to my novel as well.

My story is also gay friendly, having gay characters shown in a positive light, although there is no sexual content involving the gay characters.

The longer description that I use for my novel is as follows:

Torn between the past and present, between monster and man, an ancient vampire must fight against not only the evil inside of him, but a rising evil that threatens the only hope he has left of salvation.

This isn't your typical vampire romance story.


Desire Never Dies is about the vampire Kieran and the only two women he has ever loved. Separated by centuries, Syeria and Lilith may look a like, but they are two very different people trapped in a deadly game based on revenge, fear, and old legends made real.

Kieran is a vampire who has lost everything, and has surrendered to the beast within him. Once a man who took pride in caring for others, that all changed the night he lost the woman he loved most. Since then, he had laid a swath of death and revenge on all humans he comes across for centuries.


Now old enemies return to finish what they started years ago, and Kieran is placed in a fight against something neither human nor vampire to save a woman who has against all odds rekindled the man within the monster.

Will he lose the woman he loves most for a second time to the fires of fate?

The story itself can be found here:

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107368&chapter=1

It is 37 chapters long, with a prologue and epilogue, making it 39. It has over 200,000 words.

Please let me know if you're interested.

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