magicmau5

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Fire_Demon 2013-05-26 id # 3000207408

Also Fico is such a housewife. :))) He should've gotten himself a frilly 'Kiss the Cook' apron,too!!Maybe a small flower,too.To stick it his hair…

Don't worry about the text language.Sure I have to read it at least twice to decode it(lol) but I like it.Although me and my friends text with mostly proper grammar,too.But that's mostly because our language can't really be shortened all that much.But we do use some of yours when we text in finglish!(That's when we write our language with English letters.You're free to guess what languages make that word! xD) Like the use of big letters and stuff…

'I'm singing Oah

'Cause I love you moah'!

@Fire_Demon: Finnish? Have you read Windrider Shiva's Finnish metal story, "Proof, Passion, Power"?

Haha you read my mind. In the next chapter, Fico makes dinner for Joaco, who can't cook :D. I've always wanted to date a guy who can cook.

I tend to text differently depending on the recipient. I shorten it as much as possible if I think they can understand it. If it's like my parents, or something, it's all correct spelling and grammar. I'm just a lazy texter. I'm not sure if you caught it, but when Fico texted his mom earlier in the story, he didn't use a lot of textese.

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Guest Fire Demon

Nope not Finnish!That would've been too easy now wouldn't it? :D (isn't Finnish mostly with English letters already?) Think more east...somewhere in Asia!(Haha your story is global!!:D)

I don't think I've read it but it does sound familiar...Is it a good one?Maybe I'll read it!

Can I even post here?This is awkward

-Fire_Demon

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Nope not Finnish!That would've been too easy now wouldn't it? :D (isn't Finnish mostly with English letters already?) Think more east...somewhere in Asia!(Haha your story is global!! :D)

I don't think I've read it but it does sound familiar...Is it a good one?Maybe I'll read it!

Can I even post here?This is awkward

-Fire_Demon

LOL yes of course! Hmmm I'm stumped and my brain is mushy (it's 1 am here, Pacific Northwest time). Yeah I think it's pretty good, if you like stories about musicians.

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Guest Fire Demon

Funny thing : It's 1 pm here!

Hmmmm*extreme thinking face*......Ok I tell you then!But be aware that I don't like judgmental people!You think any stereotypes and I'll turn you into cold blue oatmeal!Or something*evil laugh**glowing red eyes*

It's a combination of Farsi+English!Ok I admit it is a wee bit hard now that I look at itBut farsnglish doesn't have a nice ring to it I guess ( fartin' glish?xD)

I'm Persian!Told ya your story is globall!

-Fire Demon

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Funny thing : It's 1 pm here!

Hmmmm*extreme thinking face*......Ok I tell you then!But be aware that I don't like judgmental people!You think any stereotypes and I'll turn you into cold blue oatmeal!Or something*evil laugh**glowing red eyes*

It's a combination of Farsi+English!Ok I admit it is a wee bit hard now that I look at itBut farsnglish doesn't have a nice ring to it I guess ( fartin' glish?xD)

I'm Persian!Told ya your story is globall!

-Fire Demon

I knew it! I went to bed thinking, the only two languages I can think off the top of my head that start with F are Finnish and Farsi... But I thought you meant Asia as in East Asia. No I'm not judgemental that way! I'm just about the most liberal American you could talk to.

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Tahylor 2013-05-26 id # 3000207434

Heh heh Fico wearing clothes to bed lol but yeah I really hope Fico does the modelling job and the pictures are hot and Luke sees them and swoons (I'm a tad obsessed with Luke haha). Fico's mom had some nerve coming to his job like that. Yes I understand she did what she did for religious reasons but she just seems a bit crazy thinking Fico would talk to her so soon after she betrayed him. Oh and is Fico's blog public (I'm assuming it is)? Would be interesting to see if Joaco has or will read it and what his reaction will be especially with that comment about him being a jealous lover...until next chapter :-)

@Tahylor: I'm excited about the pics too, I mean, who could pass up an easy $1000? I really want one to be Fico and Joaco making out in the nude :D. I like your idea about Luke seeing the pics...maybe they pass the magazine around at school? But that's in chapter 10.

Yeah it's a public blog...I've been toying with the idea of Joaco discovering the blog as a bookmark on Fico's computer. Wait till Luke finds out about it! hehehe :shifty:.

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Guest Fire Demon

Ahhhh...*thinking hard and drooling*French?Filipino?Fishil?Frenchfry?....

Oh god now I understand you situation.It's half past 2 am here,I have Persian literature final exam tomorrow (or is it today? :) ) ,I'm keeping my eyes open with matches,the only word I really learned today was cumberbitch and I'm hungry...Maybe I'll just curl under the sheets and die.*hopeful glances at the pillow*

Oh thank god for that :D!!But trust me you'll get wary of saying your nationality if you saw the racist comments dancing around internet,too.

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@Fire_Demon:

Good luck on your exam! Cumberbitch? Now I'm going to have to look that up...

It sucks that we have that kind of bigotry running around on the net. People like to hide behind their keyboards and say vicious things to each other because they're cowards. I tried to post something on a blog a while back, and identified myself as a Chicana, and I got a ton of responses saying I was an idiot, easy, and all sort of nasty stuff.

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Guest Guest

Luckily I didn't fell sleep on my exam paper! :D

Cumberbitch is such an awesome word,isn't it?I think I'm gonna use it in every opportunity I get!

You'll find a pretty accurate definition of it on Urban Dictionary but you'll get some really amusing shit if you googled it!

You'll probably understand it better if you've watched Sherlock(bbc) series.If you've already seen it,then we can go ahead and squee over it together.'Cause it's one helluva random-squee worthy show!

But!If you haven't,then..."you’ve somehow been missing out on the biggest thing since Jesus."!(not my saying.All the glory goes to it's original writer for creating such fabulous statement!)

Oh my really?Such a thing happens about this stuff,too?I mean I think it's okay if you get a little bit territorial over some stuff but I thought Chicana/os were officially considered Americans?But even if they weren't,people still have no right to get judgmental and nasty about it.If someone is somewhere they're not originally from doesn't mean other people who think they're truly from that place have permission to get nasty and cruel about it.It's not like they own that place.Have they checked where they descend from?It actually does some good if you sometimes read history.

I can't believe people.Even in this age and time they still do the whole we-are-pure bloods-everyone-else-are-mud bloods-because-they're-not-snarky-and-they-don't-have-glorious-blonde-hair-and-their-fathers-aren't-wealthy-death eaters,our-clan-is-better-than-yours-because-we-hunt-bigger-bears bullshit.And they still hang too much on false streotypes which I hate with vengeance!

Oh well...I always did quite disliked the human race...Those puny self-centered mortals... :D

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Lol I don't even know who Benedict Cumberbatch is. I don't watch a lot of TV, I know I'm really lame. My free time is spent reading and writing! :blush: But Cumberbitch is really the best thing I've learned in a while.

....Ok I googled Cumberbatch and I don't think he's that hot...he's a little pale isn't he? :unsure:

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Guest Fire_Demon

Yes I do that,too.But the Sherlock series is Awesome.I've only watched it because a friend of mine suggested it and I've only wanted to take a quick look.It only took like,10-15 minutes,for me to go into a squealing fit over it;which is something I don't often do over some characters on tv(well except for when I'm watching X-Men movies...I go into all sort of swooning/fangirling/fangasming/squealing fits then....I digress.).And that was the beginning of the glorious days of Sherlock watching.

Admittedly I was really reluctant of watching it at first and actually one of the things putting me off was this cover image I had of the series featuring Sherlock and John and I thought 'they're not much of an eye-candy....I can't really feast my eyes on them while watching...'(yeah that shallow... ><:Banana: ).But then I watched it and This happened!And that's also how I jumped on the glorious ship of Johnlock.

It's not his face that holds the appeal(but you will inevitably reach the stage that it does as you continue seeing his awesomeness)it's the way he acts and sounds that hooks you at first.I dunno but there's something about the way he starts spouting analyses and you don't get a word he says and have to watch/pause the scene three times to get a hang of the subtitle but you're fascinated by the way he speaks so much that you don't really care...

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I admit I do watch So You Think You Can Dance, The Voice, La Voz Kids (in Spanish on Telemundo), Mr. Selfridge (On PBS) and sometimes Elementary (a Sherlock Holmes with Holmes as a chick, Lucy Liu). The Voice is my guilty pleasure. ^_^ I think I can get Sherlock on PBS here...

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Guest Fire Demon

I LOVE So You Think You Can Dance!But I'm always one or two seasons behind because,well,we don't have access to the channel that originally airs it so we have to wait until they start airing it on one of the channels we can get here....

Ahhh...I'm not sure if any channel still shows Sherlock.It's been like one or two years since the Reichenbach Fall(that's the last episode of season 2) first aired.And season 3 comes out next year.:(.But I think you can find online ones?I've heard Netflix has them?

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Ah man yeah I just ran out of Netflix, I had a gift subscription. I hardly used it at all :(. In other news, I've written about two and a half pages of Ch 9. Every time I start a chapter it feels awkward, and I can't quite find the right words. Then the rest all comes pouring out like...well I'm not going to say that metaphor. :blush: Just thought I'd give you impatient types an update as to my progress. I've done all the research I need, now I just need to sit down and write.

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Guest Fire Demon

Wow that's unfortunate!...I can upload them for you or find a link you can download them from if you like.Would that be a problem for you?

Alright!:DThat leaves only two and a half more pages to go!

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Guest kellankyle

@kellankyle: Thanks for the review, I appreciate the honesty. I'm sorry you think the texts and Spanish are distracting. The problem is, even if I were to change my writing style in the way you suggest, I have already set a precedent for that style and other readers have come to expect it. Some other readers have said they liked the addition of Spanish and the use of texts and tweets, and I think it's just different for each person. I personally can easily read the texts, and they seem fairly obvious to me, but that's because I tend to text that way. I would like to text with proper grammar, etc but I get impatient. Maybe it's different with you and your friends/family, but we do flip back and forth into Spanish, especially when we just can't remember the word in English!. There are also some things that sound better in Spanish, or have a meaning that isn't easily translated. I will continue to write the same way, so I suggest that if you don't like reading the story, maybe move onto a different one that you feel more comfortable with. That said, thank you so much for the concrit, and I wish you happy reading!

I never said that I "don't like reading the story". What I did say was "I really like this story and I hope you continue. I love Luke and cannot wait for him and Fico to get together. It will happen eventually, right?

If I didn't like the story, I wouldn't have taken the time to review it at all. For you to tell a reader who is giving honest feedback, "I will continue to write the same way, so I suggest that if you don't like reading the story, maybe move onto a different one that you feel more comfortable with." is actually pretty rude. I hope that people will want to give constructive feedback without worrying that they will be told, if you don't like it...don't read it.

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Wow that's unfortunate!...I can upload them for you or find a link you can download them from if you like.Would that be a problem for you?

Alright!:DThat leaves only two and a half more pages to go!

Don't worry about it Fire Demon, I can get it at the library I'm pretty sure. This chapter is going to be at least 11 pages long though. The last chapter was 11 pages with the margins and font I was using.

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I never said that I "don't like reading the story". What I did say was "I really like this story and I hope you continue. I love Luke and cannot wait for him and Fico to get together. It will happen eventually, right?

If I didn't like the story, I wouldn't have taken the time to review it at all. For you to tell a reader who is giving honest feedback, "I will continue to write the same way, so I suggest that if you don't like reading the story, maybe move onto a different one that you feel more comfortable with." is actually pretty rude. I hope that people will want to give constructive feedback without worrying that they will be told, if you don't like it...don't read it.

Hi kellankyle,

I'm really sorry if you took that post as offensive. What I should have said, is that the texts often contain information vital to the story line, and if you skip them, you miss out on a significant portion of the story itself. Also, I don't understand why someone would read only portions of a story. That would get boring or annoying pretty fast. But like I said, I really do appreciate the concrit, and I apologize!

xoxo,

mm

Edited by magicmau5

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@kellankyle:

I've had two long nights of insomnia (in which I get my best writing done, ironically) and I think I agree with you on the texts. They are pretty cryptic for those who don't text that way. I'm the kind of person that enjoys puzzles (actually I get obsessed with one once I start it) but I can't expect every person to be that way. I took a lit class in college that praised authors like Gloria Anzaldua for "challenging" the reader to read in both Spanish and English without explanation, as a way to challenge the norm of monolingualism in America. But this is just a fun story, not meant for college-level analysis, and I think I understand where you're coming from. So, I've decided not to get rid of the texts but to cut down the SMS acronyms and textese to a minimum. I'm so thankful for your feedback; it really caused me to think, and that is the best kind of review. Your review is in my #2 spot after one I got writing the Invasion of Ian.

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Lisa 2013-06-02 id # 3000207703 Oh Magic, I can only see heartache written on Joaco's walls. His and Fico's.

Fico is thinking so much about how he wishes he was with Luke, but then on the other hand, he's threatening to leave Joaco is he finds out Joaco's been cheating. I can only see one way out of this: Joaco said he's not good with monogomy, so maybe he'll fuck up and Fico will leave him. That will free him up to go after Luke. lol But...he can't be a hypocrite now and cheat on Joaco. Someone (or more than one person), is going to get hurt, I can just feel it. :(

Oh, and Fico's grandmother Inez: Inez is the American way to spell it. Isn't the true Spanish way Ines with the accent over the 'e'? My bff's name is Ines with the accent over the 'e'. She was born in the Basque region of Spain and that's how she spells it.

Anyway...great chapter! I'm looking forward (not really, hahah), to Joaco and Luke meeting. I have a feeling Joaco's gonna notice the way Fico looks at Luke and vice-versa.

@Lisa: You're the bomb. I'm probably too old to be using this term, but you're also awesomesauce. :D :D

You're so right about Inez/Inés! I mean, I should effing know, that's the name of my grand-aunt. I've been having issues throughout the story with diacritical marks. I re-read the whole story last night while being OCD about editing, and I found several mistakes of that nature. So kudos to you on your close reading!

Yeah, I love the star-crossed love cliche. It's both funny and touching at the same time, am I right? I have a slightly different ending for the story than what I think you're anticipating, so hopefully you'll enjoy that too. Do you remember the kids books Choose Your Own Adventure? I wish I could write one of those.

----

I should add that there are a few different ways of spelling Inez/Inés...my grand-aunt spelled it with the z (but she's from Mexico). Also, the Basque region of Spain is completely different ethnically and linguistically from Spain and Latin America. It has its own dialect and they are always trying to become their own nation, a bit like Scotland vs Britain.

But I'm going to go with Inés like you suggest just cuz you're cool in the gang (and the characters in question aren't Mexican!)

Edited by magicmau5

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Hi all you lovely readers,

I have been seriously considering deleting my author profile on AFF and removing myself from the AFF forum indefinitely. I feel like I'm spending too much time on AFF writing. I have other obligations that I need to work on, including some writing where I actually get paid :) and therapy-related work for my bipolar/bulimia issues. So if you have been enjoying this story, maybe you can archive it by saving it as an html file (which is what I'm going to do) or saving the text as a Word (or other wordprocessing program) file.

Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and encouragement.

Sincerely,

magicmau5

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Sigh. More melodrama from magicmau5? So I just added the following to my A/N on OTW:

6-4-13: I was previously planning on deleting my stories and AFF profile, but who am I kidding? I'm so obsessed with this story and addicted to writing this kind of stuff. I have a tendency to make split-second decisions when I'm manic (I'm bipolar). I had to analyze myself today and I realized that I've been manic for the past week (my mood swings are so unpredictable it's literally crazy). If I delete these stories, I'll be disappointing some lovely folks out there, and I don't want to let you down. I'll try to manage my time better, so I can get everything done that needs to be done, without sacrificing all my sleep... I'd like to thank everyone who has taken the time to give me feedback. It's all been extremely helpful.

I get a bit insane in the membrane when I'm manic, but it's also when I'm most creative and get the most writing done.

I'm going to try and set a time schedule for myself so that I don't spend entire nights filled with research, writing, and editing. It's hard, because once I get into a groove, I don't want to stop. What if the ideas dry up, or I forget that perfect phrase? Sometimes at night when I'm desperately trying to sleep, I have to turn the light on and write down a couple words just to make sure I won't forget. And that goes on throughout the night, until I give up and just go sit in front of my laptop, listen to music and write. I always seem to get that perfect idea just as I'm about to fall asleep.
I was thinking, maybe if I stopped writing AFF stories, I'd get more sleep. But in all honesty, I'd just be doing one of the following: at the 24-hour gym, pedalling madly in place like a lunatic; in front of a lamp, crocheting a doily or a miniature stuffed chihuahua for one of my countless neices and nephews; worrying about something irrelevant; staring into the mirror, trying to figure out who I am and why the person in the mirror doesn't seem to make any visual sense; watching the Colbert Report; or reading some kind of mindless scifi/fantasy novel.
I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update OTW. I've been rushing to finish each chapter, but I'm going to try and slow it down in order to get a higher quality product.

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Fire_Demon 2013-06-05 id # 3000207809 Beh~Let's imagine this great,sophisticated totally constructive review that I intended to write but forgot it as time passed,shall we?'Cause that's totally what happened!But no matter.Just fill in the blanks with the most awesome review you can imagine.It's probably what I had in mind anyway! :D

.......it.......

.......was.......

.......totally.......

....great.....

.....but......

.....here......

.....i......

......was.....

.....preparing.....

.....myself.....

.....for.....

......the.....

......concert.....

.....then.....

.....nothing......

.....you're.....

.....mean.....

Haha~50 shade of blue,huh?Personally I think all shades of blue are intriguing but that's probably because we don't get a lot of blues here.We have all kinds of greens,browns,blacks and everything in between but no blues...so yeah...something about love of exotic shit.

Gawd!I can't shake that bad feeling I have about Joaco and with every chapter it's only getting stronger...

Update asap pleeeeaaase?

@FD: Actually LOL. muahahahaha *diabolical laughter* Yes, I am an evil, evil author, aren't I? *rubs hands in glee* I have a reason for that chapter, it sets up a crucial scene later in the story that will blow your effing socks off. I cooked it up last night during another insomnia episode. I'm soooooo excited about it that I'm grinning from ear to ear. There's so much about Joaco that is effing awesome, in a not-so-healthy way. :shifty: What do you think Fico will find under his bed? hahahahahahahahaha so excited... Man, I am so effing glad I introduced Joaco's character. Much better than Luke. Although, Luke has some pretty interesting clandestine activities himself. :shifty: So excited. Did I mention I'm excited? :D :D

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Wow!It could be just me but you seem really excited!

Haha-I suddenly had this image of a witch dancing around her cauldron and stirring the glowing substance inside,singing about what she's gonna do with the poor children that are gonna pass her land later that day...

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Yeah. Warning, rant about to start: Not so much today...I drove 3 hrs over the mountain (the equivalent of $30 USD in gas roundtrip) to see my primo (cousin) graduate from high school and he was like, meh. He wouldn't even smile in a pic I took with him. He was looking the other way. Man, I wanted to smack the little shit. I even gave myself a pedicure, put on heels and wore a dress for godssake. Which is not something I do every day. Tia, this is what you get for sending your kids to private Catholic school: they feel entitled. Spoiled little brat. :dualpistols: At least my tia gave me some rings, lol. I was about to drive home today and she ran out of her bedroom with this gift for me - three silver rings: one jade, one amethyst, another opal I think (they own a rock shop). She's so sweet.

Well, back to OTW. I got that frawesome, amazing idea just when I was going to sleep. It has a lot to do with the story ending, some major heartbreak, betrayal, lies, etc. I'm almost done with the Troubadour chapter - I have the beginning and ending done, now I need to fill in the middle. I'm introducing a couple new characters and I have to figure out how they fit into the plot. One is this awesome bouncer and another is the lead singer of the band. I'm not sure if I'm going to introduce an old friend of Luke's. We'll see!

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