magicmau5

Off the Wall: Review Responses 'N Stuff

Recommended Posts

0b9ddc06a278c90c03a49742e8a677b0.jpg

Bienvenidos and Welcome

to

Off the Wall: Review Responses 'N Stuff

Off the Wall (OTW) is my latest and maybe-not-so-greatest addition to the magical wonderland of AFF. It's about a cubano skater boy, Fico, who tries to negotiate the trials of growing up Latino and gay while having an unrequited crush on the school's golden boy, Luke. It is set in present-day L.A., California, and begins in mid-August 2012 as Bishop Mora Salesian High School starts fall term. The story is peppered with words in regional Spanish dialects and a small amount of English skater slang.

I've tried to reply to reviews at the bottom of each chapter, but I also want to publish my Spotify playlist. So I moved the responses here, where I can add links and stuff...

The Spotify playlist containing the OTW soundtrack is available online here. Songs are added with each successive chapter. You can generally find the local files (files only available in my Spotify music library) at The Hype Machine.

The reviews for OTW are available for viewing here.

*****

Okay ladies and gents! I've compiled a few slang dictionaries and I'm adding them here in case you're interested or have trouble with reading the story.

You may find the dictionary at http://www.netlingo.com/index.php or http://transl8it.com useful with the SMS lingo.

[Terms updated for Ch 4 on 30-4-13]

Off the Wall Slang (Modismos) Dictionaries

Skater – English and Spanish

airfeet = feet coming off the board when ollying
ass knife = mess up trick and the board sticks in your butt
B.E.V. = bird’s eye view for taking vids
barrel = fat chick
bro = friend, dude
Chill sesh = hanging with friends
chode = derogatory term, dried poop on your butt
Cruising = travelling on the skateboard
dag = interjection
diamondz = perfectly executed trick
Ditch = leave
donut shop = the cops
down = I’m down with that
el ollie, etc. = all tricks are masc.
el truco = Spanish for a skateboard trick, plural los trucos
estilo libre = freestyle
fetus = “X is such a hamster fetus”
gnarly = sketchy, trick that needs work
hammer gloves = protective skater gloves that pansies wear
hamster = replace “fuck” around parents/cops, etc
ill = sick, cool. the same as sweet, tight, rad
kinked = rail with bumps on it
la tabla = Spanish slang word for skateboard
locals = kids who frequent a skate spot
los skatos = skater kids
Meh = whatever
mellow = calm
mobbed = bad trick
monopatín = official Spanish word for skateboard
noggles = lightly tap nuts with board
nups = someone outperforming your tricks
off the hook = cool
old school = old style of skateboarding
on the hook = lame
props = respect to someone
pusher = boastful skater
schralped = taken skin off
session, sesh = time you go and skate
set = set of stairs
sk8er boi = poser
sketchy = trick that needs work
sick = awesome, really cool
smooth = not quite as good as diamondz
suspect = a pic that looks like a trick wasn’t landed
technical = new skateboarding techniques
that’s sick = that is cool, awesome
trasera = tail of board
tricktionary = a bag of tricks so sick they need to be catalogued
trippy = messes with your head
trucos de piso = flat ground, flip tricks

Cuban Spanish

al retortero = abandoned, neglected, in chaos
ajustador = bra
aragán = lazy person
asere or socio = friend, mate, buddy
atrabancado = caught, arrested
bailar con los quince latinos = to masturbate
bajar al pozo = to eat pussy
bemba = lips
berreado = person that angers easily
bicho = penis
bodega = grocery store also -> resabioso
bollo = pussy
bollo = vulgar word for vagina
bonche = joke
bróder = friend (male)
bruja = broke also -> joda, trajín, vacilada
buscar flete = to hunt for pussy
cafre = stupid person
calientapigna = cockteaser
carro = car
chancletas = flipflops (also in Mex Span)
chao = bye
chavos = money
cherna = gay man (derogatory)
chicharrón = servile, fawning person
chivato = police informant
chola = head also -> jalaleva, sulatrán
chor = shorts
chupar = to suck
cinga = fucker (female)
cingao = fucker (male)
cojones = balls or ‘shit!’
come pinga = dick eater
comemierda = eat shit, bastard, stupid
comepinga = dick sucker
coño – shit!, or bastard, stupid
cuidate = take care
culilloso = impatient person (male)
curda = alchoholic
curralar = to work
dale = go for it, it’s ok
delgado =slim person
ecobio = close male friend
el chulo = pimp
en carne = without money, broke
eschar un palo = to fuck
ese huevo quiere sal = He wants sex
estas comiendo mierda = You’re eating shit
este de pinga = it’s shit
fiestear = partying, having a good time
filtro = smart person
flaquito = thin person, term of endearment
fosforera = lighter
frigi = fridge
fuki-fuki = having sex
gallego = bad lover or bad sex
gandición = greed
gandido = ambitious, greedy person
ganso = less perjorative term for gay man, maricon is like faggot
guagua = bus
guatacón = sycophant
guataquería = flattery
güiro = head
huevon = lazy
irse en pira = go away
jama = food
jamaliche = glutton
jediondo/a = stinky, smelly
jodete y aprieta el culo = go fuck yourself
jodido = fucked up
jodienda = nuisance, annoyance
jugar a los dos bandos = to swing both ways, to be bisexual
lague = beer
loco pinga = crazy dick
maceta = rich person
mamalon = male dick sucker
mamar = to suck
mami = mom
manganzón = lazy
mangon = guapo
maní = marijuana
maricon cingao = fucking faggot
mate = intense kiss w/ tongue
mi cariño = my dear one
mi vida = my love, my life
monado = police
moni or baro = money
mono = cute/pretty
morranga = big cock
naiclú = nightclub, bar
no es fácil = life is hard, a dicho
no me jodes = don’t fuck with me
no sé = I don’t know
Oye = hey, what’s up?
pachanga = party, celebration, fiesta
paja = male masturbation
paja mental = masturbate also -> rumba
pájaro = gay man
papi = dad
parejero = disrespectful
pargo = gay man
peste a culo = smelly ass
pioloto = disreputable bar
pincha = work, job
pinchar = to work
pincho = boss at work
pinga = fuck!
pinguero = male prostitute
pitirre = (male) an insistent, annoying person
por sí las moscas = as a precaution
pulover = t-shirt
Qué bola or Qué volá = what’s up?, reply is nada
Qué es la que hay? = What's up?
quimbar = to have sex
Radio Bemba = gossip
rascabuchador = peeping tom, voyeur
rebambaramba = a riot, or dispute between several different ppl, or groups of ppl
resiñate = fuck you (v rude)
reventado = lucky person
sambumbia = nasty drink or soup
ser un punto = being stupid, wierd
singa tu madre = fuck your mother
singao = motherfucker
singar = to have sex
singarte un caballo = go fuck a horse
suerte = good luck
tacho = hair
¿Te gustas? = you like it? (the taste of food, drink)
temba = over the hill
tenis = sneakers
titingó = a fight
toto = pussy
trago = a glass of an alcoholic drink
trajinado/a = derision/mockery disguised
¡Tumba! = get lost!
tortillera = a dyke, lesbian
tu tienes cojones = You’ve got balls/guts
vaciladera = lustful gaze
vandalaje = vandalism
vapor = anger
vejentud = old age
verdura = truth
verraco/a = naïve or an idiot
vete a cagar = go take a shit
vete a cingar = go fuck yourself
vete a tu pigna = fuck off
viejuco/a = term of endearment for a parent
viruta = coins
vistilla = perfect vision, or vanity/pride
vivir = to look at lustfully also -> virulilla
viyaya = naughty boy/child
vuele = "flying" - altered state due to drugs
yaya = small skin wound, or small imperfection (of anything)
yegua = gay man
yeguada = stupidity, nonsense
yin = jeans
yira = money
yuma = gringo, foreigner
yunta = close male friend
zangandongo = large
zanguango = silly, stupid
zanguanguería = silly, stupid (derogatory)
zicote = foot odor
zicotudo = person with smelly feet
zocotroco = stupid person
zoquetada = arrogance, pride
zoquete = haughty, presumptuous, arrogant
zunzún = zipper
zurdo = inept, clumsy
zusnar = to sleep

Mexican Spanish More at: http://www.mexicoguru.com/mexican-slang-english.php

al aparto = penis/cock
¡Aguas! = look out! Watch out!
Alíviate = chill out
Alucinante = amazing, mind-bending
ándale = come on, faster
Antro = dance club
apapachar = to cuddle
a todo dar = far out, fabulous, great
Ay Dios altísimo = oh god almighty
baboso = idiot
besa mi culo = kiss my ass
bicho = cock
bolillo = racial slur for white person
bolo = gig, concert
Bueno pues = Whatever
Cabron/a = bastard
caca pasa = shit happens
¡Cállate! = shut up!
carnal = close friend
carnalita = little sister
chale! = No way, give me a break
chamaco = vulgar word for young boy
chaqueta = male masturbation
Chécalo = check it out
chela = beer
chevre = beer
chido = cool
Chilito = little dick
chilpayate = young boy
¡Chin! = bummer!
Chingado/a = fucker
chingao = fuck!
Chingate = fuck you
chingón = awesome, cool guy, badass
chirula = cock
Chocho = cunt
Chupa mi pito = suck my cock/dick
Comprendes, mendes? = cute way of saying ‘understand me?’
cosito/a lindo/a = pretty little thing (masc. cosito, fem. cosita) Example: Mi cosito lindo means "my pretty little thing", and it refers to a man or boy.
cruda = hangover
culero = asshole
¡Dale a la madre! = fuck him up! (in a fight)
De nada, limonada = Cute way of saying ‘you’re welcome’
Dios mío = my god
Dios te bendiga = God bless you
Don Perfecto = Mr. Right
el mayate = faggot
el morrongo = penis/cock
el quebracho = faggot
el quebrachon = faggot
el retazo macizo = penis/cock
el rul = asshole
el rulacho = asshole
el zorrero = jerk, fool, dumbass
está de pelos! = that's hot! That's cool!
Estar flechado = to be love struck
este… = ummm….
Face = Facebook
gallito = tough guy
güero/a = blond, light colored person, a white person
Hablamos más tarde = talk to you later
Harto/harta = a lot, tons
hijo jesu = oh my god
híjole = Christ!
Idiota (only fem.) = idiot, stupid
jeta = face
jota = gay man
la reata = penis/cock
la riata = penis/cock
loco de remate = out of his/her mind
maleton = SOB
mande = what did you say? Pardon me?
maricon = faggot (also same in Cuban slang)
Menso/a = idiot
Me vale mierda = I don't give a shit
mi bien = my darling, my love
Mirón = an oggler, a person that stares
mocoso = a brat
¡Moles! = Oops!
mohadas = faggot??
muerdeal = faggot
Oiga = Listen
¡Órale! = right on! Cool!
Oye = hey! listen up!
naco = hick
nel = "no"
Niño Fresa/niña Fresa = rich kid, spoiled brat, preppie
¡No manches! = no way!
N'ombre = No way
No mames! = get outta here, no way! - same as 'no manches'
palo = sex
panzon = fatso
papi chulo =hot guy, hunk
para chuparse los dedos = finger-lickin good
parchar = to fuck
Pelón melón = bald guy
Pendejadas = nonsense, ridiculous actions
Pendejo/a = bastard
picaflor = faggot
pichi = baby
pinche = fucking ____
pinche cabron = fucking asshole
príncipe azul = Prince Charming
puñatero = masturbator
puta = fucking ____ , or whore
Puta barata = cheap whore (fem.)
Puta madre = motherfucker
puto = faggot
rata = thief
ratero = thief
sale = alright - used at the end of a thought
¡Salud! = cheers!
sancho = fuck buddy
sangrón = stuck up person
sepa = I don't know
sepa la sopa = I don't know (funny way of saying it)
simón, de la Rosa = yes, right on (you can also just say simón by itself to mean the same thing)
sueño erotico = erotic dream, wet dream
tarugo = stupid person
tatema = head
¿Qué chingados quierer? = WTF do you want?
Qué huele? = What's up?
Qué onda? = What's up?
Qué padre = That's tight
Qué pedo? = What's up?
Una Paliza = a thrashing, a beating
un chingo = a fuckload
un favorzote = a big favor
vale = yeah, alright, okay
¡Vamos de pinta! = let's ditch class
vete al carajo! = Go fuck yourself!
vete al infierno! = go to hell!
yesca = marijuana
¡zócalo! = OMG!
zurramato = dumbass

Colombian Spanish

ala = jeez

a la verga = fuck or dammit
almacén = shop (store)
andén = pavement, sidewalk
arepera = lesbian
arrecho = turned on
avión = clever person
¡Ay güevón! = refer pitifly between guys, "Oh man!"
bacán, bacano/a = someone or something cool, kind, friendly
bareta = joint, blunt of weed
baúl = trunk of a car
berraco/a = someone awesome, hardcore, worthy of admiration, "the man"
birra = beer
bochinchero = rumormongerer, gossiper, makes up stories behind someone's back
bolqueta = drunk
bomba = balloon, or a fuel pump
buzo = turtleneck sweater
cabeciduro = stubborn person
cacorro = gay man
caliente = dangerous
camello = job, or heavy work
cana = jail
caneca = trash basket
cantaleta = repetitive scolding
caña = bluff, bragging, or rum
capar = to play truant
caspa/calilla = badly behaved person
catorce = a favor
chichipato = cheapskate
chito = prick
chino = child
chupa = police officer
cojo = someone weak or with lack of sense
colorete = rouge
comelon = glutton, pig
como fue que? = what up? what's going on?
cotejo = soccer match
culear = to have anal sex
culebra = debt
dormilon = sleepyhead, ppl that love to sleep
duro = skillful
embarrarla = to make a grave mistake
Eschemos un polvo = let’s have sex
esfero = pen
filo = hunger
flaquito = my little skinny one (? not sure if Cuban or Col.)
fresco = "be cool!"
gallina = coward
gonorrea = vile/disgusting person/thing
guayabo = hangover
güevón = dude, bro, lazy, or idiot depending on circumstances
hacerse el gringo = to feign ignorance
hembro = female or gay slang for handsome guy
hijueputa = SOB
hueco = pothole, or jail, or faggot
irrespeto = disrespect
jopo = ass
jincho or chapeto = drunk
jurgo = plethora, a lot
Le quiebro el culo = I'll kick his ass
levantar = to seduce, or to beat/thrash
listo = all right, something cool or okay
llave = friend
lobo = bad taste
lo pille = I caught you
maluco = bad
mamola = no way
mamón = boring, annoying
marica = dude, bro, or faggot
marimba = marijuana
maricondas = joking around
Me voy a echar un motoso = I am going to have a nap
mijo/mija = buddy, pal
mono = like güero - blond, fair-haired
no joda! = nuh- uh!, get outta here!, get lost!
no me joda! = Don't bother me!
nonas, nonos = no
No se haga el pendejo = don’t play stupid
ñero or mañé = ghetto, street, nasty
ni por el berraco = no way
no le pare bolas = don't pay attention to him/her
Ojo! = Be careful! Watch out!
paja = lie, falsehood, or masturbation
paila = bad luck, not good
pa las que sea! =I'm up for anything!
parar bolas = to pay attention
parche = band
pedo = a big problem
pichar or tirar = to have sex
piedra = anger
pilas! = be carful, wake up, watch out
pille eso = look at that
pilo = smart
pinga or verga = dick
pirovo or gorzovia = dumb
pochola = beer
pola = beer
Pollo/polla = boyfriend/gf
Poner los cachos = To cheat in a relationship
porfa = please
prendido = tipsy
Qué boleta = How embarrassing
Qué caspa = how bad
Qué hubo? = What's up?
Qué mamera = That's boring
Qué maricada = dammit/fuck
Qué mas? = What's up?
Qué soda = how cool also - > Qué chimba, Qué verraquera, Qué putería
rascando = drunk
remalparido/a = a big bastard (very rude)
rola/rolo = someone from the capital Bogotá
ruñidera or ruñiendo= to talk about people behind their backs
sapo = meddler
sisas = yes
storbar = to disturb
tinto = black coffee
tetra hijueputa = huge SOB
tomba = the police
tombo = police officer
tractocamión = truck
tragado = having a crush on someone
vallase al carajo = fuck off
vallase a la mierda = fuck off
venirse = to come, I’m going to come = voy a venirse
viejo = dude, friend, dad
¿vientos o maletas? = How are things?

Guatemalan Spanish

hueco = gay man
huevón = lazy
coche = pig
chancuaco = cigarette
chito = kiss
waquear = to vomit

General Latin Amer. Spanish

a ver = let's see
aguafiesta = party pooper
almas gemelas = soulmates
atún = idiot
Ave María Purísima = for heaven's sake

¡Ay qué rico! = Wow that's delicious!

bárbaro = fantastic or hot man
bepi = little kid (boy)
bobo/a = fool
boite = nightclub
bombón = hot, sexy man
bromista = joker
cada hijo de vecino = everyone
calentar = to arouse
cañon = hot, sexy
caramba = you know, come on…
caray = jeez, damn
chévere = great, fantastic
chiquero = pig sty, dirty room
chupamedia = teacher's pet
cielos = gosh

cien por cien = precisely, 100%

¡Claro que sí! = Yes, of course!

cole = school

cuidado = be careful
culo = ass, butt
desa = breakfast
di que sí = go for it
Don Nadie = loser
el último grito = the latest thing
en cuerpo y alma = body and soul
en serio = seriously, really?
enamoradizo/a = someone that easily falls in love
epa = wow!
estar al palo = to have an erection
estar pedo = to be drunk
felices sueños = sweet dreams
finde = the weekend
gilí = silly, stupid
girafa = very tall person
hacer el amor con… = make love w/ someone
hacer toros = skip class
hacer un papelón = embarrass oneself
hijo de puta = SOB
hoy mismo = today
joraca = damn, shit
justo a tiempo = just in time
juerga = blast, good time
largate = go away
leche = cum
llevar juntos = to be together as a couple
lo antes possible = ASAP
lompas = pants
Loteria! = Bingo! Got it!
mamada = blow job
no mames = don't kid with me
mamonceta = bastard, little fuck
mas o menos = more or less
mate = mathematics
me la trae floja = I don't give a fuck
me vale verga = I don't give a fuck
metete un pelo en un culo = stick it up your ass
mira = look
momento = wait, wait a sec
morirse de rise = die laughing
nada del otro mundo = nothing special
nena = girl, chick
ni a palos = no way
ni en broma = no way
ni modo = no way
ni torta = no clue
ni verga = no fucking way, you've gotta be kidding
no pasa nada = no prob, no big deal
no tiene caso = it's a waste of time
otra vez = again, once more
painte = pain in the neck, nuisance
partirese en alma = make someone's heart bleed
peli = film, flick
perder la cabeza = fall madly in love with someone
picar = nibble on
mi pichón = my dear
pirado/a = crazy

pobrecito/a = poor baby, poor kid

por cierto = by the way

pura sabrosura = That's really tasty/yummy/juicy
qué lastima = what a shame
qué onda = what's up?
qué yo so = whatever
regla = period (menstruation)
resaca = hangover
sabelotodo = knowitall
sacar a algn de quicio = drive someone crazy
sangrón/sangrona = annoying, irritating (adj.)
ser al mando = be at someone's command
ser la monda = be a blast, be really funny
siete nueve = 69 (sexual position)
sin duda = w/o a doubt
subte = subway (train)
tacote = marijuana
tal vez = probably
tanque = fat person
tarde o temprano = sooner or later
tele = TV
venir = to come (sexually)
ya es hora = it's about time
yo que se = how would I know?

Edited by magicmau5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Faust 2013-03-20 id # 3000204862

I knew a guy in HS that was a lot like Fico. I loved him to bits. One question though, what the bloody hell kinda class is Christian Lifestyles?

@Faust: Christian Lifestyles is an actual class at Salesian High. It's about the New Testament and other Godly things. You can check out the school website for yourself. :D

Lisa 2013-03-20 id # 3000204887

Love, love, love this story so far! :) Love Fico's friends, but don't quiz me on their names, I'd fail!

Poor Fico, but just b/c Luke said something stupid, doesn't mean he's a homophobe. :)

I also love your username. I really like the group DeadMau5 also and immediately thought of them when I saw your name. =)

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

@Lisa: Thank you so much for the compliment! Fico is a little hot headed, I know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anon 2013-03-23 id # 3000204983

I absolutely love this story! Your style of writing is unique and it draws me in like a fly to a lamppost. I can't wait for more!

@Anon: Thank you so much! I like this story too. I was having trouble writing the 27th chapter of The Invasion of Ian, which is really gloom-and-doom, and I thought, it'd be nice to write an upbeat story. So Fico and Luke were born!

ger 2013-03-23 id # 3000205004

ok here is the hting i am half cuban and half of the slang you are using is mexican not cuben like cabron, singno, pendejo, and alot of the way that cubens act the first is that a cuben by them self my be quit but in a group they can get verey loud and thou they may care if you are gay on a whole they well just take it in yell and ether send you to a family membere or just excepet and the guy would just make a lot of gay jokes. Now if you need to use slang go for vete al carajo, hijueputa, come mierda, yanky, and serie when taking to a frind manly other cubens but you did use que bola correctly. I did not edit it so some thing are misspeled.

@ger: Thanks for the review, I really appreciate a cubano's input. First of all, this is a fictional world, where Fico's friends are accepting of him being gay (which is really unlikely IRL). I'm using a lot of literary license in that respect. Second of all, most of Fico's friends are mexicanos (and the majority of Hispanics in Cali are mexicanos), so they share a lot of slang. I haven't given a lot of details about his friends yet, but I will in later chapters. Lastly, I am a mexicana, and we don't use the verb singar. Yes, we use carnalita (little sister), menso/a (idiot), jodar (to fuck), pendejo/a (bastard), cabron/a (bastard, or between friends, dude), guapo (hot, cute), chulo/a (pretty; in Cuban slang it means pimp), chisme (gossip), Dios mio (my God), etc., but definitely not singar, asere, yuma, or chao. We prefer the verb chingar over singar. Like, fuck you is chingate, and fucker is chingado/a.

Jade 2013-04-04 id # 3000205460

Oooooooh-want more! I am very much enjoying this story-can't wait fot the next update (:

@Jade - Thanks :D It takes a while for me to write this because I'm doing a shitload of research for it. I keep trying to write, but I have a ton of RW distractions. Blast that real world!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lisa 2013-04-04 id # 3000205471

I don't know what rock I was hiding under that I missed this update!

I went back to the first chapter to reread it to re-familiarize myself with the story and saw your reviewer responses and got confused b/c it was the first chapter. I kept going back to see if there was a prologue and I missed something. Then I realized that you just put the responses there instead of at the bottom of chapter two.

Anyway...terrific chapter! I laughed about the Ivies, b/c Stanford is considered "Ivy Plus", along with Duke, U of Chicago, and some others. And the eight Ivies are all on the east coast, so if he gets in, he'll have to travel. :)

I loved the line: 100% Grade-A-gay; that was hysterical! Loved that thing about having an owner's manual for straight people, gay, etc. Great idea, right? But I was confused: if he has a blog and he talks about other guys, and people read his blog, wouldn't they already know about him?

How does Luke know Fico's Twitter name if moved there so recently? I'm sorry if it's a stupid question. I can't figure out Twitter for the life of me, tried to tweet something and then never saw it again. lol So I don't know...

Ok, on to chapter three! :)

Oh, and I love the slang and the Spanish words you put in there. A couple of years ago there was this terrific story on here and it centered around a high school kid in LA and he was Latino and she peppered every chapter with these great Spanish words and I just think they add so much to the story. =)

Lisa 2013-04-04 id # 3000205480

What an awesome chapter Magic! My mouth fell open when Jose was making out with that other dude. Man, was that rude! lol

I have a feeling that Fico is going to claim Joaco (is that the way it's spelled?) heart the same way Luke claimed his. And Luke was flirting with him earlier. Fico may just get what he wished for. lol

Is there really such a site as taxifare.com? That's a pretty convenient thing to know. :)

I know exactly how Fico feels when people screw up his name. Happens to me all the time, which is why I take the first letter off.

Oh, I had a question: you mention all these songs at the beginning of the chapter, but they're nowhere in the chapter. I was looking forward to "hearing" MCR's Teenagers. Awesome song. All the others, never heard of before. lol Oh! Are they just suggested songs to listen to while reading? You know, I can never concentrate on the story if there's music that I'm singing to. ;)

@Lisa:

a) Ficos's blog is under a pseudonym and written in Spanish - which you would have found out later but who cares right?

b) Tweets spread like wildfire, and if anyone in a gossip-prone school finds out juicy info on someone, they share it with everyone they know. Twitter and Facebook are really just gossip (chisme in Mexican Spanish or Radio Bemba in Cuban Spanish) machines.

c) Oooh I want to read that story! If you remember it, tell me please!

d) Yeah that website is real. How do you think I know it takes $19.14 to get to Rage from the office? lol

e) Fico is like me in that respect too. I hate my name!

f) The songs are suggestions to listen to while you are reading, before, after, or while you're wishing I'd update ASAP. :P

Anon 2013-04-05 id # 3000205502

well god luck to him. he's gonna need it. luke is a bit 2d, you should make him more 3d carachter.

and fico should use a condom. for his own good.

other then that I'm enjoying this story very much:D

@Anon: More about Luke in the next chapter :). Don't worry about Fico, he's got a good head on his shoulders.

Edited by magicmau5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lisa 2013-04-28 id # 3000206482

I kept thinking about this story every day wondering when it would be updated. I'm so glad you're continuing with it. :)

I think Joaco (damn, I probably spelled that wrong. Sorry), is such a nice guy. He would be good for Fico, despite the six year age difference.

But then again, on the other hand there's Luke...and we don't know much about him.

Anxiously awaiting the next chapter. :)

@Lisa: Thanks for the review! I keep thinking about it every day too, I just don't always get the chance to write. I've done maybe too much research for it, and not enough writing. Sometimes I just have no creativity in me :(. I had more for this chapter, but I felt bad that I hadn't updated it in a while, so I split it up in two parts. I promise the next chapter has lots of Luke in it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Angela 2013-04-30 id # 3000206526

Hi !! I am currently reading your story and i really like it !! It really nice seeing fanfiction with spanish some of the things are not correct but still is really amusing :D i wanted to tell you that if you need any help you can ask me if you want to !!!:Dkeep it going !!

@Angela: Oh thanks I would LOVE some help! I'll take you up on that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Raven 2013-04-30 id # 3000206542

HELLO I just wanted to let you know that I adored your story and the way you put your words onto paper. (or the internet)lol

@Raven: :D :D That's really sweet of you to say! I'm trying to get better, I know I have a long ways to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade 2013-05-15 id # 3000207020

Aww-I didn't want to like Joaco and now I do-darn it I'm invested. Please update sooooooon!

@Jade: :D I know, neither did I. I was going to make this chapter pretty long, but I broke down and thought of you poor readers who need regular updates. I took a while this time because I was away from home for a week visiting my sister and then I got sick :(.

Edited by magicmau5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lividfire 2013-05-15 id # 3000207023

this was a well balanced chapter. very funny and slice of life.

And fyi in my country we only get to drive cars wih sticks ahahaha;)

@lividfire: Thanks for the compliment! I was aiming for funny but I was afraid it would just be really lame. I just learned how to drive stick and it's so much more fun. It's makes you feel a lot more confident on the road - and I wanted Luke to be a cool drink of water that can take command of any situation with ease. Please tell me if the jokes become lame!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Misakixusagi 2013-05-16 id # 3000207082

Oooo i love this story, its sometimes frustrating not knowing the translations, but i thinki can work it lol cant wait for more, i like fico hehe

@Misakixusagi: I'm sorry it's frustrating for you! If you have a Mac, use Command F to find the word here on this page in the dictionaries section. I'm glad you like Fico, he's probably my fave MC that I've written so far.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fire_Demon 2013-05-17 id # 3000207096

Oh wow!This is one fluffy romantic story here!Me likie!

I love how you use texts and twits to move the story on and involve minor characters more!

Lol!In the bar scene I was all but nagging out loud :'Really Fico?You go home with a perfect stranger whose ride (which supposedly is a taxi) is a creepy black car with tinted windows?Seriously has your mom thought you nothing?You don't go with strangers even if they say they'll give you candy and sex in the car!'

And the whole car ride I was like:'This is really suspicious.But the guy is cute...It's really suspicious and creepy...but it's soooo cute...this is probably how Jack the Ripper lured his victims...but it's so goddamn CUTE!'Glad nothing happened.Though I still have a little suspicion.I mean the guy appears to be a hot,gorgeous,kin,gentleman MODEL but he is insecure enough to 'spy' on his crush instead of just charming his way and confronting him directly.But!he's still very cute!Fico is one lucky bastard!This Joaquín fellow seems to really like nicknames!First it's going to be Sugar Pumpkin and Fico-kins then it'll be Fico-poo and honey muffin and Fico-boo-bear...

Fico...dear...you go out with your crush and you probably have to sit next to him for maybe hours and you go commando???Really?With skinny jeans no less....You said you had an accident right?One starts to wonder...

So I guess Fico is really really hot and gorgeous?Judging by how everyone seem to have a crush on him…

I'd say Luke is one closeted hotie if not actually out.I mean he could've wanted to say:'You seem so normal.Finally!A normal gay guy!let's go out!' but they interrupted him and the Fico went and sent that twit,leading everyone to believe he's gay.

I don't get it...Is Quique gay?He appears to be but there's no mention...

Come on!Update soon!

@Fire_Demon: I'm glad you like the use of texts and tweets, I wasn't sure if people would think it's stupid or juvenile. I'm not sure about the formatting of the texts, but I haven't read that many stories that involve them so I wasn't sure how to format it. I don't think Joaco will say "Fico-poo" or the like, but he is fond of nicknames, isn't he? I was even going to have Fico comment on that, but I think I forgot about it. I like to think of Fico as really hot, but he thinks he's more on the average side. I won't say anything about Luke's sexual orientation here because you'll find out later :). Quique isn't gay, but he does like to talk about sex a lot and tease Fico. I'm working on the next chapter right now, I have about 2 pages, and I try to publish at least 5 in each chapter. I'll try to get this one out faster than last time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fire_Demon 2013-05-18 id # 3000207113

When everything is solved and stuff can you please write the first chapter from Luke's point of view?Pleeeaaasseee?*batting eyelashes**puppy dog eyes*It'd be legen-wait for it...wait for it...-DARY!

*In the last review I meant to say "...and leading everyone to believe he's straight."But it came out wrong!I guess even in my subconscious I believe Luke is gay!

@Fire_Demon: Haha that's an interesting idea. I'll think about it. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jade 2013-05-20 id # 3000207198

Aaaaah! The build up's slow-but good! Def. keep reading.

@Jade: For some reason I feel like the build up is too fast, but glad to hear you think it's slow. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lisa 2013-05-21 id # 3000207211

I was cracking up at the Twitter conversation. It took me awhile to get thru every line. I can't imagine how long it took YOU to write it. lol Although if you are proficient in it, then it didn't take you any time at all. :)

I thought Joaco was so cute in this chapter. Awwww, he's had a crush on Fico for awhile now, huh? He's so sweet. Now I don't want Fico to upset him and break his heart. lol

Ok, on to the next chapter.

@Lisa: I've been biting my nails hoping you'd post a review again. Thanks! Yeah, I'm not exactly proficient at SMS/textese, so it did take me like a day or two to piece it all together. I had to read it over and over again to make sure it made sense. FYI, sometimes I use transl8it.com for help with that. It actually takes me quite a while to write the whole thing, because I go through it several times to make sure I don't reuse adjectives and phrases. I honestly don't know how some AFF writers churn out a chapter every few days, and still manage to create a great story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lisa 2013-05-21 id # 3000207212

Mio Dios! Hahah, ok, maybe it's Dios Mio? Ok, I admit, I don't know Spanish, but I want to say OMFG Fico!!!!! You idiot!!!!! I want to smack him upside his head!!!! He's crushing on Luke, he'd LOVE to get with Luke, but he's flaunting Joaco in front of Luke's face. He noticed when Luke started driving fast right after he mentioned Joaco, he noticed Luke tensing up after Fico mentioned Joaco AGAIN, and he even answered JOACO'S call, what the hell's up with that???? You NEVER do that if you're interesting in someone, especially someone who's giving off all sorts of 'not-so-straight' vibes. lol

And then to top it all off HE MENTIONS RIPPING CLOTHES OFF AND TALKING TO JOACO EARLY THAT MORNING AND HOW HE CAN'T SLEEP OVER, OMFG FICO!!!! Stop!!!!!! lol Luke's gonna have an aneurysm!

This is such an awesome story Magic! I just wish I heard of 1/4 of the songs mentioned. haha :)

@Lisa: It's Dios mio - Spanish does it backwards. Yeah Fico is so effing clueless. He's totally convinced that Luke is straight, and naive enough to believe Luke's word, so he doesn't understand the signals Luke is sending. I'm so happy you like the story, it's really hard to produce, and I get down comparing myself to other, better writers here. If you have some concrit too that'd be wonderful to hear. Last.fm, Spotify, and YouTube are great sources to hear the music for free.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lisa 2013-05-21 id # 3000207213

Oh, and I meant to mention in my last review: about the wrestlers: my middle son is captain of the varsity team and NONE of them, as far as I know, wear jock straps under their singlets. And come to think of it, on the cover of the USA Wrestler magazine, they always show a college wrestler and none of them have jocks on either. I don't know, would a jock even FIT under those tight singlets comfortably anyway? Hmmm

Anyway, thought I'd mention it. :)

@Lisa: Good to know! I'll try to fix it, maybe just cut the jock strap bit out entirely.

Update: I took out the bit, no mention of j straps at all. Thanks so much!

Edited by magicmau5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ds 2013-05-21 id # 3000207215

I just wanted to say I love your story! I can't wait for Luke to fall for Fico...they're so cute.

@ds: Wow here I was feeling sorry for myself that I wasn't getting reviews for this chapter, and then like four fall in my lap all at once! Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad that some people enjoy the story. I'll keep trying my best to make it worth your while.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fire_Demon 2013-05-22 id # 3000207229

Great chapter!

Ohdear god…now I know some people are really modest and some others don't want to have false hope for it to only be crushed and take them with them but not to this degree!!! I mean even if you were one of Oggy's cockroaches you would realize when someone clearly had a thing for you!And Fico is definitely not a cockroach!(he isn't...right?)

Luke is so obviously taken by him he can't even walk right!!(every pun intended!)He's singing him songs and stares at him and is getting jealous over him!...Come to think of it....I wonder if he goes out with Fico and the others next week,is he going to get into a fight with Joaco over something ridiculous?He seems like the type…

I need some!Give me some!

@Fire_Demon: I'm so glad you liked the chapter, I was thinking it was kind of lackluster. I mean, there wasn't a lot of action in it. I tried to flesh out Luke's character, and wasn't sure I was successful or not. I know, Fico is kind of an idiot, isn't he? He's really stuck on the idea that Luke is straight, and can't see past that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tahylor 2013-05-22 id # 3000207242

I really love this story and I'm looking forward to seeing Luke and Fico's relationship develop. I hope Fico doesn't remain a blind idiot for too much longer because Fico and Luke seem like they will be seriously hot together and I want a Fico/Luke sexplosion!!! I also hope that Luke goes to Rage with Fico and his friends. I would love to see Luke and Fico dance and/or some drama between Luke and Joaco! Still not sure how I feel about Joaco though. For some reason he strikes me as being really weird/shady but I'm not exactly sure why...oh well. Waiting patiently for the next chapter :-)

@Tahylor: Wow yet another review! I feel like dancing and eating lots of chocolate all at once. Yeah I'm not sure what's going to happen b/w Luke & Joaco. I'm just on the first page of Ch7 now and I've moved the weekend shindig to a different location, they still may or may not go to Rage. Sexplosion - good word! You may be feeling off about Joaco b/c he took Fico home in a shady car. I think Joaco may have some secrets he hasn't shared with his friend! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tes 2013-05-23 id # 3000207268

Thank you for writing this story..I really like it. I am guessing Fico's lover is going to turn into psyco when he finds out that Fico is in love with Luke . I dont understand how can a mom be so stupid and cold hearted! I am a mother of a girl and a boy.. i cannot imagine kicking them out of the home becausee of their sexuallity preference...Love should be unconditional! Stupid woman!

@Tes: You're welcome :) and thank you for writing a review. I'm kind of a review junkie. I know, his mom seems pretty cold-hearted but in her mind, she is doing what's best for him. A lot of Catholics think that homosexuality is a choice, and therefore something that can be overcome with prayer and/or willpower. She thinks that given enough "tough love", Fico will see the error of his ways and "repent". Obviously, she's pretty misguided and living in an alternate reality...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fire_Demon 2013-05-23 id # 3000207269

Oh wow...Really?Wow...wow....WOW!

How could his mother possibly do that?I mean Fico was the perfect son!How could she possibly reach to the decision that she should kick him out?!That's just...so...cruel!

Thank god then that he had Joaco!And that he's 18 and working so he can like rent a place or something...

I think she deserved what Fico said.What she did was down right cruel that shouldn't be done to anyone much less her only son and the only man of the house...

Can't wait for more!

@Fire_Demon: Sadly, it's actually a pretty common phenomenon for parents to kick out their gay teens. He's really lucky he had somewhere to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tahylor 2013-05-23 id # 3000207293

Well...didn't expect that lol. I feel terrible for Fico. I just don't understand how his mother (or any parent!) could do that to her child. Just awful and I'm glad he at least has somewhere to go. Interested to see how living with Joaco goes. Hopefully he doesn't suck Fico's nipples straight off his body in his sleep...

@Tahylor: I didn't really plan on this turn of events - my brain hijacked my fingers and typed it out for me. There's a little explanation above re: his mom's motivations. Fico's going to wear some pajamas to bed lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kellankyle 2013-05-24 id # 3000207310

The positive is...I really like this story and I hope you continue. I love Luke and cannot wait for him and Fico to get together. It will happen eventually, right?

Now this is my opinion: The text language is annoying and distracting. I find myself skipping over it because I cannot decipher what the characters are saying. I text, my kids text, their friends text, my friends text and we ALWAYS use proper grammar and punctuation. Do people really text like this anymore?

Also, the flipping into Spanish is also very distracting. I AM Cuban (American) and we never flip like that, not to mention that Cuban, Mexican and Columbian are completely unique conversationally.

I just wish you would just plainly tell the story. We know their nationalities. That should really be enough. I really want to get to the hearts of these people. It's a great story with wonderful characters. It doesn't need all of the embellishments.

Please know that this is JMO.

@kellankyle: Thanks for the review, I appreciate the honesty. I'm sorry you think the texts and Spanish are distracting. The problem is, even if I were to change my writing style in the way you suggest, I have already set a precedent for that style and other readers have come to expect it. Some other readers have said they liked the addition of Spanish and the use of texts and tweets, and I think it's just different for each person. I personally can easily read the texts, and they seem fairly obvious to me, but that's because I tend to text that way. I would like to text with proper grammar, etc but I get impatient. Maybe it's different with you and your friends/family, but we do flip back and forth into Spanish, especially when we just can't remember the word in English!. There are also some things that sound better in Spanish, or have a meaning that isn't easily translated. I will continue to write the same way, so I suggest that if you don't like reading the story, maybe move onto a different one that you feel more comfortable with. That said, thank you so much for the concrit, and I wish you happy reading!

Edited by magicmau5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fire_Demon 2013-05-26 id # 3000207404

The title is nice.I mean it's far better than 'chapter one' right? :)

God I sure hope Fico doesn't cheat on Joaco.The guy's too nice for something like that to happen ro him.But oddly enough I'm still suspicious of him…I dunno…

Cutting his mother of completely doesn't sound like a really good ideq.I mean he could have a mother complex for ever.js.

Duuude!Can't wait for the weekend to roll around!Luke and Joaquín's introduction to each other is bound to be amusing!

@Fire_Demon: Thanks. I don't like stories without chapter names - it bugs me. That is, unless the author is super awesome amazing.

I don't think Fico will cheat on Joaco, but we'll see ;).

Fico is so hot headed, he makes decisions without a clear head. At this point, he's steaming angry at his mother, and can't think beyond that feeling of betrayal, which is why he misses Joaco so much. Joaco at this point is turning into a father-figure.

Yeah I'm going to take a wee break before starting in on The Troubadour chapter, but I think it'll be fun!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lisa 2013-05-26 id # 3000207405

That whole scene with Fico and his mother was really sad. It's so obvious she loves him and wants him to be safe. But she should never have "chosen" her religious beliefs (ridiculous as they are in today's day and time), over her son, her own flesh and blood. I just hope that their relationship is salvagable.

Joaco is such a doll. I'm really wary though b/c he already made Fico promise he'd never cheat on him or shut him out of his life like he did his mother. I'm wary b/c Fico is still infatuated with Luke and who knows where that will go.

Awesome chapter, as always Magic. And thanks for the quick updates! :)

Have a great Memorial Day.

@Lisa: My whole family are very strict Roman Catholics, and although none are homosexual (at least none are out) I know that if they did come out to our parents, they would be in effect excommunicated. My parents are too soft-hearted to throw their kids out, but I know for a fact that many Catholic parents aren't so kind. Either that, or they make their child's life such a living hell that they are forced to flee. It's pretty sad, I know. I hope that some Catholic parents today aren't as hardline as Rosalia.

Yeah I hope you picked up on the "I tend to be a jealous lover" clue.

I've had some extra time lately and motivation to write, which is why the past two chapters have been published relatively fast. I might be slower in future but this is your Memorial Day gift.

Thanks and I hope your weekend is fantastico!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.