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Cloudbringer

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    Cloudbringer
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    Flordia
  • Interests
    Screenwriting:Drama, sci-fi, fantasy
    Novel writing:Sci-fi, Fantasy
    The Potterverse, Star Wars Extended Universe novels, any RPG game, Anime(subtitled preferred), anything Fantasy based in general or action based.

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  1. Working on the next chapter and I went through and read 1&2 over again. Now that I see it from a distance, I’m not sure it lines up or can be misinterpreted. I never clarified their age. I think canon, the Goblet of Fire fourth year students are 14/15. Since some scenes and content are going to be a little intense, (as you can see in chapter 3&4) I was thinking 15/16/or even 17. Chapter 1 made them sound too young from what my goal is. I’ll probably re-work some of their conversations to make it match but still try to find a middle ground where they are a bit innocent but yet very curious about sexuality and maybe even through in a line or something to clarify their age so people don’t get scared off and re-post and updated version of 1&2 before I continue with Chapter 5. Any feedback on this is appreciated. This is my first time at this so I just need some guidance on staying within the guidelines (am i doing a good job or if things need adjusting) and not destroying the story or the readers. Thanks. Oh, I could just add something as simple as “It was already getting old for Hermione, the small restroom big enough for two sixteen year olds to share.” At the very beginning so people don’t think all the characters are 13 or something.
  2. LOL, I guess that’s what I get for not signing in before posting. What I said above…
  3. Thanks. It sounds interesting. I’ve just added it to my reading list.
  4. Congrats. I actually started out with fanfic also, waaay back. Then I decided to take it serious and moved on to get some professional development. I first dabbled in some Writer’s workshop classes online to get a better understanding on story structure and hone my skills. I then transitioned over to college and screen writing. I recently found this AFF and started FanFic again as a way to stay busy between my original projects or combat writers block. I figured I can do stuff here to test things or just to to keep my fingers busy as my mind figures out the next step of my real stories. Here, I don’t have to take anything too seriously and just be relax with my writing. Wish all the best to you. If you need any information or tips, just hit up my inbox. Keep writing, no matter what.
  5. LOL, yes, pretty much what the comments are talking about. Except it is Hermione that acquires a sexual voodoo doll that can be used against anyone, not just FEM!Harry, but focuses it on her.
  6. Interested in seeing what you have, but I see that the story is not in the AFF archive so I assume it is a story you were working on but never posted. I also see you are still a guest user so I couldn’t message you directly. Hopefully your account has been approved by now. Can you fill out the information with the content Melrick linked to? Thanks.
  7. I got it. I’m still a bit lost trying to navigate and figure out the forum ins and outs. I think this should be correct. Challenge accepted: Hermione Owns Fem!Harry by Dory Project Title: Hermione and the Juju of Pleasure Story link: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100047 Reviews, Replies, Comments, and discussions:
  8. Reserved workspace to discuss and address reviews for Hermione and the Juju of Pleasure This project was taken on as a challenge from Dory, titled: Hermione Owns Fem!Harry. See link Below. Please keep critiques, comments, and reviews to this thread NOT the challenge thread Challenger has final say as to which direction the story should go if I end up veering a different direction than they envisioned. All reviews and critics will be welcome and taken into account and possibly integrated if it helps stay on track with intended concept. I will be publishing this a chapter at a time and I have no issues with completely redoing a chapter if there are critical issue that need to be addressed. Summary: A re-telling of A Goblet of Fire. Fem!Harry,Harriett. She believes being the "Chosen One" grants her special privileges. Harriett begins to antagonize and manipulate the sexual desires of boys to propel her to the top of the class. Hermione must pull out her own tricks to stay on top, even if it means utilizing and ancient fetish doll called the Juju of Pleasure. With this fetish, Hermione can target anyone and make them succumb to their hidden desires or even bring them to orgasm from a distance. -I'll adjust the tags as more chapters introduce such content. Enjoy. All feedback appreciated. Link to Hermione and the Juju of Pleasure http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100047
  9. I thought this challenge forum was for bouncing ideas back and forth between the challengers and the accepting writers to collaborate in. As long as no one hijacks the story or something. If anyone is going with the shapeshifter idea, you can try a Jeckal and Hyde type scenario, or werewolf. Depends how you want the “trigger” of transformation to happen. Is it base on the moon, a scent, or sexual arousal. Maybe it’s not even Harry’s arousal that triggers it but the hormones of the girls, like if someone is masturbating nearby or making out, or just thinking of someone. It could be a curse that Dumbledore put on Harry. Is Harry trying to stop his alter ego or is he helping it by setting up the prey? Like they are supposed to meet Harry somewhere for a make out session but end up being attacked by the other Harry. Or does he transform in the middle of sex? Also, what hatches? Are they creatures like Harry’s alter ego? Or are they clones of the girls? That could be cool, sort of like a pod people take on it. They mature really really fast and can be full grown in a week. Just spitting ideas out for anyone going for it. I would try but I’m working on another challenge. I’ll definitely follow this one and give feedback when I can. Especially if you are trying to get 3 different versions.
  10. Shortening this to just after the Tournament choosing makes it easier. But when you mention bringing in other characters from Order of the Phoenix makes this much larger I would think. If it supposed to continue and stretch on. But I do enjoy the idea of... Since the story wouldn’t begin until the choosing, there would be room to expand the tournament. One could make 7 events. That way each of the Weasley girls would have to contribute in their own way, or have some kind of secret or knowledge for that task. Or help him practice, or a special power to pass onto him… sexually of course. I’m new and there are some things I don’t know what they mean. 3) Lemons, Lemons, Lemons & 1) Slash/Het Mixing  Does Slash mean gay and het means hetero? So that means no Bi characters? Like all the sisters are into Harry, but not each other or into Hermione also?
  11. Yeah, I got it uploaded. Story ID=600100047, or click my profile. I didn’t make Hermione a DOM right off the bat, I wanted to build up to it through the story. Kind of after she’s had enough of Harriett’s shenanigans. But at the same time, Harriett being as bold as I’m making her, it also brings Hermione in too, and she begins to feel the power of sexuality. And as she watches Harriett use it to her benefit, Hermione decides to do the same, but also targets Harriett who is taking her spot as top of the class, and getting all the guy’s attention. I think this first chapter is a little on the softer side, but it felt weird if I dove straight into it without setting up either character. Let me know what you think.
  12. Trying to get the 1st chapter posted but it keeps refreshing the same screen to input everything over and over. I’ll let you know when I get it up. Might have to try a different browser or something.
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