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  1. Thank you for your interest in my story! I do not have a solid idea on when the next chapter of Bitched will be done as I have many ideas for other stories I am working on including a separate Naru/Hina femdom fic. Your suggestions are interesting, I hadn’t considered ass worship or power games- just straight-forward torture. This has given a few ideas I might put in this or another story, so thank you.
  2. Been a significant gap since I posted on this forum… Received some… mixed reviews on recent chapter of Bitched!, with Naruto being tortured in Tsukuyomi-esque world. Pms comment on preference for more of the femdom style from earlier in the story. As I dislike repeating story scenarios and prefer doing and trying new ideas I intend to continue the torture angle in Bitched for the time being but have been thinking about doing a separate, new fic with a NaruHina femdom theme; Bullet points are; · Au after kyuubi attack, far more destructive- inspired by the terrifyingly talented Logical Premise’s ‘The Consequences of Unyielding Will’ on Fan Fiction dot Net (you really need to read his excellent stories if you haven’t already). · Hyuga clan amongst many shinobi clans depopulated (spin on Clan Restoration Act) clan head wants to find outside suitor for Hinata to raise clan numbers. · Encounters Naruto, figures out he’s Yondaime’s son. · Adopts him into Hyuga branch clan as betrothed to hinata. · More au; different education setup for ninja, one of more relevant changes is that Hinata and Naruto have different senseis and therefore have personality shifts. · Thinking Naruto is assertive-submissive in this while Hinata is domineering and intense but not crazy, also both characters have a different skill set than canon. I’m interested in feedback on this and am open to suggestions on fighting styles, scenarios, etc. Stay safe!
  3. Upon rereading your excellent story, I noticed you had the doppelganger (the inhumanly strong, durable, yet still near perfect clone of Lara Croft) seemingly survive the events of the game Tomb Raider: Underworld. What happened to that... individual/creature, and will she/it appear in your story assuming it will continue. In addendum; with Lara in Saudi Arabia, an idea that occurred to me is Lara being humiliated by being forced to wear a burka OVER a series of bondage gear; a waist cincher, a hobble dress, breast harness, posture collar, arm bindings, etc.
  4. Done part of a draft for the next chapter of Bitched!; In Reality 2 AU!Tsunade tells AU!Hinata about the guests from the other dimension. Reality 1 Sakura told her Naruto was last seen with her. She tells the Hokage they are just training and sparring. Hinata’s reaction is wide-eyed Byakugan active horror. Tsunade leaves her knowing how volatile she is. Hinata goes back in to her house to confront Naruto/Menma. I am uncertain as to whether I should (a) have Naruto admit he’s not her Menma, but say he loves her anyway (in his malformed way he does). (b) have Hinata delude herself thinking that Naruto is Menma as only her Menma would allow her to do various unspeakable things to him to prove his love to her. Either way the early, rough sex scene that follows either scenario involves Hinata throwing Naruto to the floor and ass smothering him (giving him ample opportunity to escape despite nearly asphyxiating him). After she realises he won’t try to escape she yanks down his pants and grabs his dick squeezing, yanking and twisting it risking serious injury- still no escape attempt. She later shoves one hand under his backside and sticks her thumb up his ass (still face sitting/smothering him), with a Water Style hand sign atop his belly, the thumb up his ass erupts in water and gives a dangerously overpowered enema shunting water right up into his intestines, threatening to tear organs within while she is still ass-suffocating him. Probably going to put even more depraved acts in the upcoming chapter, but I am unable to currently decide which of option (a) or (b) to go with; they both have pros and cons, both have unique options to open up, some second opinions might be useful on this.
  5. Thanks! Menma can be called mostly Naruto personality swapped with canon Hinata, between a near-psychotic Hinata terrorizing him, no reason to act out like canon Naruto did as Menma has a family, higher levels of education and enough skill to not need the Kyuubi as a self-destructive crutch he is a very different person than his Reality 1 counterpart. I find canon Minato boring too; he seems to be a cipher- whatever the plot in that chapter of the manga needs, then he was for that chapter; they need a mysterious shadowy figure, feared by his enemies and spoken of by Konoha only distantly by titles like Yondaime and Fourth Hokage? Then he was. They need someone who was a genius, popular, charismatic, known and loved by everyone? Then he was. They need a down to earth human character who in many ways was identical to Naruto? Then he was. They needed someone who was an idiot who jabbered incessantly and forgot he had sage mode for a dozen chapters (and when Madara/Obito attacked the village)? Then he was. My idea for Naruto and AUHinata was for them to have two daughters; Himeko and Honoka, Himeko; the elder daughter who looks very similar to Hinata except for stripes across her cheeks (after an accident with her Byakugan while young) sees her parents engaged in freakish acts with Naruto groveling before Hinata, Himeko takes this as men are inferior and grows up engaging in similar extreme sadistic BDSM activities with a variety of men. She has a very close relationship with her mother but is on bad terms with her father. Honoka; the younger sister who resembles Naruto, has a similar experience but instead becomes enthralled with the concept of submission, and is the sub of a S/M relationship she has with the son of a cast member. She has a very good relationship with her father, slightly less so with her mother. I’m not bringing in Boruto and Himawari; the Boruto series had a chance to do something new with the franchise perhaps by moving away from the over the top Shonen-plot elements (ala dragonball) and return to the more grounded elements that the series did in the beginning (Zabuza was a far more intimidating opponent than Kaguya despite the ridiculous power gap due to Zabuza inhabiting a world where death actually was final and actions had irreparable consequences- something the later Naruto series and the Boruto series in general lacked).
  6. Once again posting to ask if your incredible story; Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles has; made any progress or if you are willing to release further plot ideas, outlines or synopsis of the intended plot, so everyone can see ideas on how your story may continue (hopefully) for a long time to come!
  7. As this fanfiction has gone on and become more complicated (convoluted), I would like readers opinions on what they would like to see next; (a) More Yandere!Hinata and Naruto (b) Menma and CanonHinata (c) Minato and Kushina (considered that Kushina is the breadwinner and Minato’s a housewife) (d) Elder Toad Sage or other being dreaming the future and seeing possible future of Naruto and YandereHinata’s kids (not Boruto and Himewari- I find them boring and uninspiring). (e) Other characters.
  8. In the chapter ‘Nightmares at home’ you had a part of Lara’s home (beneath it) turned into a sex dungeon and presumably a domicile for Kitty’s ‘sisters’- I assume this place was the Croft Family crypt seen in Tomb Raider Underworld (please tell me if I am wrong)? I’m surprised you didn’t do more with it- like ripping out the graves of Lara’s ancestors and replacing them with fetishized coffins that Lara was put into or other family heirlooms having sex equipment mounted onto them or being supplanted by them. You actually didn’t say much about the sex dungeon beneath Lara’s home. What were you thinking when you thought of it; Like how big is it. What features does it have. How many people can fit in and how do people get in and out of it? Are there any other modifications to Croft manor? Like hidden cameras or passageways? Another question I’ve been wondering about is whether Samantha Nishimura is going to show up in this; I’m sure you could think of perverseness for her. Hope things are working out for the author both personally and professionally and that we see another chapter of Fanfiction soon!
  9. Finally updated Bitched, apologies for the ridiculous delays between updating! Answers to questions that the newest chapter brought up; 1/ The combat library; the clones in the library were given stabilization seals by Hinata; a failed attempt by another ninja to make clones take more than one hit, they do however work to protect them from dispelling if their creator takes a hit- so the clones are still functioning when Naruto blacks out and didn’t pop during any of the rough stuff in the sex scenes. They will run out of chakra (Naruto gave them a limited supply) and then dispel transferring all their information to Naruto in his dreams which will the enter his conscious mind when he wakes up. I was vague on what information the clones picked up deliberately- it can be anything from elemental ninjutsu to kinjutsu. While I hated the shadow clone time chamber gimmick in canon, I really wanted a way to make Naruto much stronger, quickly. If anyone thinks this is a handwave… then they’re right. 2/ Naruto getting beat up; there is a general belief among Naruto fans that Naruto left the academy with little training or skill- some say this was because he didn’t pay attention and goofed off, others say he was sabotaged, I’m going with a bit of both. Add this to the fact that Kakashi never did his job and Jiraiya obsessed with trying to get Naruto to weaponise the Kyuubi causing Naruto came back from the timeskip with nothing except basic improvement- he’s chunin level in my opinion until the Senjutsu powerup. Conversely Chisha (and Menma) have been trained from birth by their parents. So the question is not ‘how did Naruto get beat by a girl’ but ‘why should you believe that Naruto’s (at most) 3 years of half assed training by people who weren’t doing their jobs right trumps Chisha’s 8 years of training from two very dedicated and very skilled ninja’? 3/ Hinata being crazy; one of the reasons this story took so long is that I originally wanted it to go back and forth between Naruto in reality 2 being disgraced and debased to Menma in reality 1 becoming ‘greatest hero ever’ by defeating Pain and doing many things Naruto couldn’t and doing a contrast between the two. I abandoned that idea and split the chapter into two with much of Menma’s parts being done already- amongst the things is that he will talk to reality 1 Hinata and tell her why AU!Hinata is the way she is.
  10. Thanks for the post! ​ For a long time I’ve been split on whether to do Menma fighting with a style based on his parents or a version of the masked beasts- you’ve helped me decide on the beasts; What I’ve been thinking of for a while is that Kushina’s chain binding technique was Ying/Yang- something created by imagination and made animate by physical energy- my first idea was that by merging this with the basics of the shadow clone jutsu, Menma can create animate beings that manifest like clones but have unique powers and don’t dispel when struck (at the cost of requiring massive amounts of chakra). I’ve further added to this by stating that Uzushiogakure, the village the Uzumaki came from, received assistance from Konoha when it was attacked in the ‘AU’, when in the ‘Prime Dimension’ it was left to die. While the village still fell, more people made it out alive as well as many fuuinjutsu weapons that made the Uzumaki so feared, including devices that when empowered by massive chakra can manifest the users will and imagination. Menma uses these weapons due to an incident when he was very young when he badly wounded a fellow academy student who made a comment about Hinata- he spent some time paralysed by guilt, unable to fight anyone and still goes to almost any length to avoid physical confrontation of any kind despite being vastly stronger than canon Naruto at this point. As for the Hinata/Naruto dynamic AU!Hinata has a traumatic past (an mirror universe version of the Uchiha massacre) and has the twisted idea that only people who totally submit and welcome her abuse actually care about her. Naruto is just as bad as he will accept this (a normal person wouldn’t) as he doesn’t know what love is. As for specific content there’s definitely going to be more pegging, extremely violent training both sexually and combat oriented and humiliation including a lot of verbal stuff like Hinata doling out instructions to Naruto and he has to obey them (like Hinata showing Naruto various sex toys like clamps and ordering him to put them on himself while she watches). I don’t like repeating myself with stories so this one will likely be based on humiliation and warped psychology rather than ‘breaking boundaries’ like in Rego Corruptus. I keep reminding myself that the Narutoverse’s rather twisted idea of love is for people to ignore a person’s many faults and wrongdoings and obsess over an often distorted or completely false premise (canon Naruto thinking a few months as team mates with Sasuke trumps his years as an accomplice of traitor Orochimaru, his further betrayal of joining Akatsuki, the completely random terrorist actions at the Gokage summit and trying to murder him multiple times and Sakura and Kakashi- simply because he could in the latter cases). There’s not really any limit to how far Naruto can go to please Hinata in that regard.
  11. I was reading through the older posts on this forum and I noticed something; Whatever happened to the idea for “Contractually Indentured”- it was stated as serving as a repository for chapters that you felt fits into the FMC story universe but doesn’t fit into the main narrative. Eventually include extra sex scenes the author wrote that are only referred to in one or two sentences in the main piece. These stories may or may not occur at the same time as the main FMC story, and may even represent things that happen in the future. You even gave spoilers for CI Chapter 1: Looking at three specific scenarios in the contract Lara signed that she must always be part of; 1/ Days working only as a sexual object: How much sex is required, and in what way does the contract's wording affect how Lara conducts her sexual services. 2/ Days working as an archaeologist/consultant: How Lara balances sex with real work, when can she work, and how much autonomy does she have regarding choosing work over sex. 3/ Days off: When can Lara have a little time to herself and how can she earn these free time. You went on to state that in all three scenarios, the contract has been worded in a way that can be liberally "reinterpreted" by Lara's handlers in order to maximize their use of Lara against her will. It's also geared to give minuscule rewards for Lara's humiliating cooperation while levying heavy penalties for her using the contract's own words to her benefit (e.g. asking for time off, bargaining for various changes/rights, etc). Your later claim that the first chapter would have been largely “kinky legal text and not too much plot” doesn’t bother me, in fact it only made me more interested since it makes the story more unique as most stories on this site are just sex scenes with minimal plot surrounding them. I really hope this idea comes to fruition as it sounds fascinating and unique. ​
  12. I'm very interested in what will happen between Lara and Mark. If you do decide to gag her, might i suggest a BDSM setting to cut off her other senses as well; earplugs to deafen her, noseplugs to remove her smell, blindfold or mask to cut off sight and only breathing through a ring gag or similar. Also very interested in your allusions to ramping up the stones power- my first thought is that the stone transmogrifying people surrounding Lara as outlandish as that may sound. Overall relieved to hear this unique story isn't dead.
  13. I have decided I'd create this thread to share thoughts and ideas about the story (Link below) and maybe bounce ideas off people. On the topic of trolling; I have no problem with 'constructive criticism' that means give a reason why you don't like something. If someone just says that something sucks I'll ignore it/delete it/report it. An example of constructive criticism is; imagine you ask someone what they thought of Mass Effect 3, they say it's good except for the ending which is crap- that's meaningless. ME3 having a lousy ending has become a cultural meme at this point and saying the ending is crap tells you nothing about the gameplay, the characters, the story or the plot. Why do you hate the ending? Is it because the synthetics vs organics spiel comes completely out of left field and was already invalidated in ME2? Is it because Shepard is just standing there listening to the Starkid babble on without even attempting a counterstatement? Is it the fact that the ending (and ME3 in general actually) makes most of the choices you've made in the trilogy completely worthless? It's not difficult to come up with a reason for why you hate something if you actually try. If you say something I do is shit without giving a reason i'll assume you're not trying, just trolling/flaming. I am interested in feedback though and I even seriously consider suggestions that are good. Example; in the next chapter would everyone prefer that Menma fight Pain with an original fighting style, one based off his parents (both would take more time to come up with) or a modification of the Masked Beasts he uses in canon? The idea I'm going for with this is for Menma to become 'The hero of Konoha' in Naruto's place and take the canon universe seriously AU.
  14. I was very impressed with the updates; the humiliation is powerful, the plot imaginative, the characters compelling, a lot of spelling errors and a paragraph or so seems to repeat several times in chapter 34 but the story is as far as I can tell original; the seeing the situation from two perspectives as you have done with Lara and Mark is a brilliant stroke and the mental and emotional components of the story are powerful. Overall I look forward (or at least hope) for more of your work.