Barbayat

It's been a long time since I written anything with someone - but I liked it and I thought why not try again? The plot is already quite detailed in some places but there is still a lot of room for a co-writer to get their own ideas in. The story is set a couple of years after the movies. Zion is gone again after the human's broke the peace again, the stability of the Matrix is secured by different means. Shortly put Agents work together with a group of humans. Agent Smith is ressurected from a back up copy from about the time he shot Neo in the first movie. Part of the fun for me is to see him deal with the changed situation. Not long after he is back, a virus targets the group of humans working with the Agents, as a side effect plugged in humans who got affected are turning into zombies. The virus spreads fast. Smith and the other Agents have to protect the remaining humans, figure out where the virus comes from, as well as purge it from the Matrix and they need to do it before it spreads to far or has affected the plugged in humans for too long. They also need to do all of this while being cut off, meaning the Agents can not jump into a new body. I also have a few original characters running around. One of the humans working with the Agents is assigned to Agent Smith to help adjusting and she on top (much to Smith dislike) has an affair with Agent Johnson. Which is also the reason why she survived the attack of the virus unlike many of her "co-workers" : she was with Johnson at the time of the attack. For a time they believe she is the only survivor but a few of the others, who are more talented than her, have managed to hide or find protection elsewhere. For example, two of them turn up later on at the Merovingian. Sex scenes will not occur very often, mainly one with my OFC/Johnson and then one with the Twins and another OC. But from the feeling, the violence and other factors I think it is definitely an adult story, even though it might not get deleted from ff.net. If you are interested, you can contact me via aim - Barbayat or e-mail me at my gmail (same name)

Did you even attempt to understand what I was talking about? Your reply has nothing to do with what I am talking about. And your added insults on top of that, makes it pretty clear you are not seriously looking for advice. So nevermind ...

Megan Fox said her character in Transformers is an extremly strong, well-written female lead (in case you haven't seen it, she is mostly a sex object). That statement does not make sense in context of the movie. She clearly can not do anything. She is supposedly a strong character. That scene you mention with the car is if you look at it for what is actually happening a good example how pathetic that character is written. Yeah, she might have shot the guy in the car - however, she would have been dead or at least really badly injured if the Captain had not pushed her out of the way. Cause the car would still have run her over. Shooting the guy would not have also stopped the car. Unless of course we find out she is super girl in disguise. But I doubt she is, even if the actress desperately wants to feed in that oh my aren't I playing such a strong female character delusion. Peggy tries to come off as cool, but she really is acting insecure, stupid and while she does not get called out every instance, she does get called out. When she does something risky or dumb, she is saved by Captain America. Don't be blinded by the "Oh cool she shot the guy and told the cap off for saving life" school of distraction. She is a sue if you define a sue as a badly written character. Not that I find her that annoying, I just don't really care about her and she has not that much of presence.

She might have some sue characteristics but a lot less than Captain America or his friend, if you think about it. She does not get away with everything, while she is attractive and assigned to special project, she has not a military rank, she is an agent and she obviously has not much authority. Yes, considering that time it is unlikely she is there but that is about the extent of special privileges she has. Peggy gets flag from that guy who sexually harrasses her, Tommy Lee Jones characters immediately insuniates that she did what she did because she had a crush, she only gets more respect from him afterwards. Even then she still gets promoted as the insecure wanna be girlfriend. Yes, she gets some action scenes and cheap one liners "You are late" but if she is one thing is weak character presented as a supposedly strong female lead. So honestly, how is she a sue? Because she is good looking and the Captain has her eyes on her and Bucky is heading for the whambulance as she is the first woman to not look at him?

I am currently writing a horror/angst fanfic featuring the Red Skull (strictly Avengers Reboot based, no comics other movies). It was supposed to be short pwp but somehow it got longer and creepier. This story is not supposed to be romantic, apart from the unhealty relationship between the OFC and Johann Schmidt, I want to include a bit more about what is going behind the scenes of Hydra. I just started (3000 + words), but I think I could use someone to look at what I have done so far. Honest feedback on the pacing and how convincing I am writing Schmidt's motivation. Then of course also the effect of what he is doing to her has on my OFC. Short info on the OFC and plot, her brother is an important member of the French underground and the Gestapo caught her and uses her to black mail him to provide information. After her second escape attempt she is transfered to the Hydra base. Upset with the Gestapo interfering in his business (it's still pre-Tesseract area) and her defiant attitude, he is out to teach her a lesson after another escape attempt. This idea formed for a while in my mind and it seems short of writing it - there is no getting rid of it. Let me know if you are interested, I don't mind harsh criticism - but please don't waste both our times complaining about the non-con or basic idea itself, focus on criticising the execution of it ...