hitagashi

Life does suck when you grow up....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QYDg3PoS3I

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
I hate to bug you but I once again need your help.
Last night, just as I was about to go to sleep, I heard a tapping noise at my window. Now at first I passed it off as nothing. And then suddenly it became a pounding. At. My. Window. Now I don't know about you but I would think it was rude to damn near break a window in the middle of the night. At any other time of day I'm fine with it, my windows and doors get broken in a lot. Stupid do-gooders trying to stop me from doing what I do.
Anyway, I went to the window and opened it only to find a damn package on my balcony. Now normally, I would take the package inside to check it but it was three o'clock in the damn morning, I was tired and I didn't want to wait. So I opened it and as I was about to take off the lid it fucking exploded. My balcony rail is missing a good chunk (because even at three a.m. I am nowhere near stupid enough to actually hold a damn mysterious package) and my favorite suit (because I had yet to change) is practically ruined.
By the way, have you any idea how hard it is to use a machine to petrify wood? It's not easy and all my hand rails and banisters and the like are made of wood I petrified myself. Now I have to tear down that entire hand rail to rebuild the damn thing.
To put it simply, not long after, I got a note saying:
Not only is that an English teacher's worst nightmare, but I must say I actually am kind of frightened. I've never... been bombed in the middle of the night before. Evil Stepmothers be willing, I would hope this was a mistake... or I might have to ask... the good guys. -shudders-
Please tell me you can help,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
I hate to bug you but I once again need your help.
Last night, just as I was about to go to sleep, I heard a tapping noise at my window. Now at first I passed it off as nothing. And then suddenly it became a pounding. At. My. Window. Now I don't know about you but I would think it was rude to damn near break a window in the middle of the night. At any other time of day I'm fine with it, my windows and doors get broken in a lot. Stupid do-gooders trying to stop me from doing what I do.
Anyway, I went to the window and opened it only to find a damn package on my balcony. Now normally, I would take the package inside to check it but it was three o'clock in the damn morning, I was tired and I didn't want to wait. So I opened it and as I was about to take off the lid it fucking exploded. My balcony rail is missing a good chunk (because even at three a.m. I am nowhere near stupid enough to actually hold a damn mysterious package) and my favorite suit (because I had yet to change) is practically ruined.
By the way, have you any idea how hard it is to use a machine to petrify wood? It's not easy and all my hand rails and banisters and the like are made of wood I petrified myself. Now I have to tear down that entire hand rail to rebuild the damn thing.
To put it simply, not long after, I got a note saying:
Not only is that an English teacher's worst nightmare, but I must say I actually am kind of frightened. I've never... been bombed in the middle of the night before. Evil Stepmothers be willing, I would hope this was a mistake... or I might have to ask... the good guys. -shudders-
Please tell me you can help,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.

This song is so fecking catchy.

"I am the man who arranges the blocks that continue to fall from up above."

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
IT WORKED! She's going for it as we speak. I think she just likes the taste of cat and snake... I have a camera showing her movements.
As for her being a Sue, I looked up what you were talking about and finally pinpointed exactly what type she is. I have a fear that she might be a Black Hole Sue and... dear sweet poison apples, SHE'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.
I feel so very happy. I'm actually tearing up. I can see her twitching too....
I should drop some acid on her... just to be sure.
Never mind, Sebastien did it for me. Her eyes even melted. I'm... rather happy now. I think I should celebrate by making the Jabberwocky. That would be good. Set it on the people in her home town. Make them leave me alone.
I've sent you her eyes, they should be there shortly. I hope you don't mind my finding where you lived on my own to send it but I'm very thankful for all your advice.
Hoping this is the end,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
IT WORKED! She's going for it as we speak. I think she just likes the taste of cat and snake... I have a camera showing her movements.
As for her being a Sue, I looked up what you were talking about and finally pinpointed exactly what type she is. I have a fear that she might be a Black Hole Sue and... dear sweet poison apples, SHE'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.
I feel so very happy. I'm actually tearing up. I can see her twitching too....
I should drop some acid on her... just to be sure.
Never mind, Sebastien did it for me. Her eyes even melted. I'm... rather happy now. I think I should celebrate by making the Jabberwocky. That would be good. Set it on the people in her home town. Make them leave me alone.
I've sent you her eyes, they should be there shortly. I hope you don't mind my finding where you lived on my own to send it but I'm very thankful for all your advice.
Hoping this is the end,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
I am currently writing this from the safety of my lab, more specifically, my chemical lab. I can here that woman pounding on my door and trying to get in but it's failing. But before I continue I have a bit of a story for you.
Earlier today I was out and gathering some of my plants needed for the new acid I developed in my garden and all of a sudden I heard Sasha screeching. My cat doesn't screech. He thinks it's rude. Or so he says on a thrice daily basis. So for a second I thought I was hearing things and then he comes racing past me with my snake Sebastien in tow. For a second I was confused until that damned woman came running over the hill I have my garden hidden behind with a fork and knife in hand.
Now I'm sure she's just a bit mess up in the head but when a woman chases a damn anaconda and a cat that can talk (one of my favorite technological advances as of yet) while sparkling and trespassing all at once I become disturbed.
I haven't talked of her father for the most of this thing because... he fell into an acid vat all on his own. It wasn't even satisfying! He didn't even let me have the joy of pushing him in myself!
As for where I found her, I'm not quite sure. I think I was shopping for groceries and she found me. At first she was actually interesting. But then she followed me home.
Followed me home.
Hoping you can tell me why this woman isn't falling into my acid vats or into my trap doors,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.
P.S. Sasha told me to tell you this: If you help me out of this situation, you will officially be his best friend.

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
I had to resort to killing her in an acid vat. She was immune to the god damn fire. IMMUNE. Somehow her eyes didn't melt but the brain's gone and her eyes are beneath quite a few others in one of my many jars of dark blue eyes. One day I might send them to you as a souvenir and as thanks, but maybe after I finish writing my porn.
But now I have a problem for you once again: her parents are coming after me and wondering where she is. I've tried blowing them off and tried being cross with them but it's not working. I'm once again at my wit's end and need your help with this most troubling case. Her father's even begun to sneak into my room at night to do something though I'm not sure what and his mother won't leave my front door. She tried to break in to kill and eat one of my cats earlier and the only reason Sasha's safe is because he doesn't appreciate even me touching him.
Please tell me you have advice for getting rid of these people,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.
P.S. Did I forget to mention her mother sparkles? It's fucking disturbing.

Dear Mrs. Tightbottom,
I probably forgot to say it but I did refer them to 4chan. And they keep talking to me in a mix of Japanese and English. Their weeaboo speech is driving me insane. They keep calling me things like "sugoi desu ne" and telling me "aishiteru". What am I supposed to do? They keep trying to tell me they love me too much.
They've said they're going to marry me someday and that they're waiting expectantly for their ring even! It's terrifying!
This is getting out of hand,
Evil Genius Larry, M.D.

While DG has posted 2 Star Trekkin' videos, I felt I had to add my own.
Ah KH fandom, how you never cease to amuse me. Probably because of Xemnas' rape face.


Oh and just because I HAVE to....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mylvquqGSrI

One of the worst fanfics ever made into a video

YGOTAS
Click it....you know you wanna.....

Of course, any of us who are owned by the feline evil overlords, all KNOW why this cat is having a hissy..

With a name like that, of COURSE he's ...testy!

Monster Mash

Halloween Light-O-Rama
Link to his profile
My favorites:

Oh, and something else.
Cause French is hilarious when it's YGOTAS.