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GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread


GrayNeko

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Chapter 3 (SPOILERS):

Not only was this every bit the Luz/Amity chapter I've been hoping for, but you made it extra-awesome by showing us that Amity has a submissive side. Not only does this make sense within the context of the story, but it also could explain why canon-Amity has been so conflicted about whether to show or hide her attraction to Luz. For a girl who feels the need to show strength at all times, the desire to give herself over completely to someone else would be anathema.

The ending is quite a cliffhanger. The situation has really escalated now. Looking forward to more!

George, you hit the nail on the head exactly with where I was going with Amity. There was another piece I’ve read over on AO3 that explores the idea of Amity having a sweat kink so I paid a little tribute to that piece in this chapter while also thinking about the greater implications. With Luz being so aggressive and making the first move Amity was allowed to be vulnerable and she embraced it completely. I’m glad people have enjoyed the steaminess of this chapter, I figured it was time to really get the ball rolling and it’s only going to snowball from here. 

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From GeorgeGlass on April 25, 2021
 

Chapter 4 (SPOILERS):

Interesting that Luz can't bring herself to make Eda her thrall the way she did Amity -- not because Eda isn't willing (unlike Amity), but because Luz thinks of Eda as her mentor. Which makes a lot of sense, really, because whereas Luz and Amity's relationship has evolved substantially over time (from enemies to frenemies to friends and now to lovers), Luz and Eda have had a consistent mentee/mentor relationship from the beginning.

I'll be interested to see whom they draw into the fold next. 

Luz couldn’t at first and you’re right as to the reason why, but I think I found a pretty good middle ground by the end of the chapter since she did begin manipulating Eda’s mind. I often find that in these hypnotizing stories, there’s a little in the way of moral dilemma about what they do so I hope I could convey Luz’s struggle at least halfway decently. Now it’s safe to say she’s embraced her desires and won’t be nearly as hesitant anymore. As to who, I mentioned to my readers on AO3 that the next chapter might upset some of them since this story has been fem focused so far. I wouldn’t be doing Luz justice if I ignored her full sexuality.

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22 hours ago, GrayNeko said:

As to who, I mentioned to my readers on AO3 that the next chapter might upset some of them since this story has been fem focused so far. I wouldn’t be doing Luz justice if I ignored her full sexuality.

Ah, so Luz is finally gonna try the sausage? I’m all for that. 

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Review for Ears to You, Luz Noceda

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From GeorgeGlass on October 06, 2021
 

As Fairy Slayer would say, I betaed this chapter, so any typos are my fault.

(SPOILERS below)

Okay, when you said there was going to be some dick in this chapter, I kind of assumed you were talking about Gus. But involving the Blight twins is even better. 

Two things about this chapter are particularly striking. The first is the emotional intensity of it. You really sell Ed and Em’s forbidden love effectively, particularly in terms of how it affects and is affected by their other family relationships. The same goes for the twins’ powerful envy of Amity’s status as their mother’s Chosen One.

The second thing -- and this applies to other parts of the story, too -- is that it’s not merely compatible with canon but actually explains things in canon that haven’t really been explained on the show. In this chapter, it’s Ed and Em’s penchant for picking on Amity. It’s great to see that they don’t do this because they’re intrinsically assholes (any more than Amity was during her early bullying of Willow and Luz) but because they have a really solid reason to resent Amity. You also explained very nicely why their mom lets the twins get away with so much while so often coming down hard on Amity.

Looking forward to what's next.

 

Thanks again for the beta, George. It was nice to have someone else’s perspective.

The fact that Gus is stated to be younger than the others is the reason he hasn’t been included yet. The way I am developing the lore for how ears work means that at this point in his life, he hasn’t reached the stage where he would be susceptible to the effects. Doesn’t mean we won’t see him included somewhere down the line.

I’m glad the intensity of this chapter hit the way I wanted it to. The twins are very interesting characters and it was fun putting a spicy spin on their dynamics.

I love extrapolating ideas and expanding on details that aren’t fully explored in the show. It’s so nice when others appreciate my efforts to “color inside the lines” so to say, when it comes to making porn out of non-porn material. That said, in future chapters I might diverge from the established storyline more than a little because of an idea I have for Lilith.

Looking forward to working with you again.

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I have actually finished a new chapter for A Charmed Life. It can be found on AO3 but I, as others have pointed out, thought it would in poor taste to post a link to it from here. I look forward to updating it here once the site finishes emerging from its chrysalis.

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Guest Love this story

I'm absolutely loving this story it was a emotional rollercoaster and I can't wait to see where it goes next(no rush). I hope to see Stevonne in the future.

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On 2/5/2024 at 4:26 AM, king said:

I'm absolutely loving this story it was a emotional rollercoaster and I can't wait to see where it goes next(no rush). I hope to see Stevonne in the future.

Glad you like it. Not sure when me and Swindle will get back to it but we do have several more ideas for it.

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