Question for monogamous gay guys

[Haywire_Hakaze]

Time and time again, I've read stories where condoms aren't used in sex of any form, and I can understand not wanting to break up the flow of the story by having the characters stop to put them on, even if people would normally do so-- like during one-night stands and in instances where preventing pregnancy. But I prefer realism to what I read, even if I don't practice what I preach in my own writings, so sometimes it bothers me if no protection is used.

I'm a strange lady, haha.

Now, anal sex is not something I do often. In fact, I've tried it a few times, all unsuccessfully (because either the lube burned or I backed out, or something) except for my most recent go at it with my husband. And, for me, because it's something I do rarely, I find that I have this demanding need to be "clean" or-- more accurately-- "empty" before the act. I suppose it has to do with the stigma I have about it being "an exit, not an entrance", so I'm paranoid about my husband getting an infection or myself getting one by accident, even if he uses a condom and we change to a new one before vaginal sex. And I know there's no way for it to be 100-percent sanitary, and I'm not expecting that. I just prefer that there's nothing obstructing the path, as it were. Condoms are a no-go, because the rim of the condom can be felt if it goes inside and comes out during the thrusting. It's... weird.

I guess herein lies my question. Since using enemas beforehand can kill the spontaneity of sex, how do other people handle this issue? Is it simply a "mind over matter" issue, or are there alternative methods that work for you guys? And I mean this not just with anal sex, but rimming as well.

I suppose this could be seen as me just asking for advice, should I wish to try it again, but I'm also curious because it's never addressed in the stories on AFF and, as I said, I like ultra-realistic stuff and I like to improve my writing.