Ghost-of-a-Chance
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So. Is it colder than a witch’s cunt where y’all are, too? No? Just us? Muh-zurr-uh’s done froze over, folks.
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Welp. It dipped to -7 last night. Thanks, I hate it. So does my arthritis.
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- BronxWench and Wilde_Guess
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So. Is it colder than a witch’s cunt where y’all are, too? No? Just us? Muh-zurr-uh’s done froze over, folks.
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Snow and ice aren’t the problem for once. (And even then, the issue is the repeated thawing and freezing making the roads unsafe.) The problem right now is the temperature and windchill. I can’t remember the last time we hit 2 degrees, let alone stayed there for several hours with a negative anything windchill. My friend Autumn’s windows apparently froze over on the inside earlier this week.
Like, when the frick did we move to Canada???
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Our cats have access to two cat beds, several chairs, a couch, a couple boxes, a footrest, a beanbag, countless pillows and blankets, a sunny windowsill with a blanket in it, our bed, and a cat tree. The cats are permitted to have a cuddle, nap, or lazy moment in all of these places. If we don’t catch them first, there’s even a couple baskets of clean laundry that might be comfy.
…and Woozle wants to sleep on top of a flat of toilet paper jammed into a storage shelf.
Cats, man. You just can’t make sense of them.-
Your cat(s?) must be so adorable. ❤️
Our older cat, Heifer, has two favorite spot – under a desk on top of feet, and a homemade cat bed fit for a pea-fearing princess. It has several blankets and a pillow, and in the winter, a heating pad. When she curls up under the desk, there’s usually a blanket and bare feet involved. Every now and then, she’ll send the owner of said feet through the roof by randomly creeper-licking said feet while said owner is focused on writing a tense scene.
Woozle is the oddball of the pair, bouncing between whatever place is closest to me – he has separation issues - and somewhere remote and cramped. Last night, he spent a couple hours in his box on the desk, then a couple more in the laundry after locking himself in the closet. The storage shelf is a new one, though.
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I’ve got another zinger from hubs to share! A few minutes ago, I was chatting with Cold about my plants in the window and I said, “I mean, those two need repotting already. They must really like this southern exposure!”This guy. This absolute smartass. He looked at me with a completely innocent face and said, “yeah, but I don’t know how they can stand the accent.”
…y’all. Cold has a southern accent.
Yes, I choked on my spit. That mouth of his makes me so stinking proud sometimes.-
I feel the same, always.
I’d never tell him, but I wish I were as skilled with on-the-fly wordplay as he is. I get to brag about him online, though, so I’m not disappointed. 
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I wanted to share a real zinger for anyone who needs a laugh today. For this to make sense, you need to know three things: 1, I'm bi with a very supportive straight husband; 2, I'm in the closet IRL because of homophobic loved ones, and 3, I'm "out" online under my pen name. Oh, and 4, my husband Cold is an adorable smartass.
I spent some time today working in our big hall closet, up on a stepladder. When I heard Cold come through the front door, I warned him to be careful coming through the hallway because "I'm kinda in the closet."
"Kinda?" he retorted. "You're entirely in the closet."
I could hear the unspoken bi joke like a cat hearing a can opener. "I'm only in the closet IRL," I reminded him, "online, everyone and their gay stepdog knows I'm bi."
Cold poked his head around the door. "Either you're in the closet or you're out of the closet," he teased me. "You can't be both. You're not Schrodinger's bi."And that's how I realized it is entirely possible to laugh yourself right off a ladder, and that, despite getting older, Cold IS still able to catch me before I can fall on my oversized rump. I'm still grinning about this, and it's been over an hour!
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Knock yourself out, @InvidiaRed! I told him I’m stealing it, too, so he’s been warned. @WillowDarkling and @BronxWench he is a hoot, let me tell you that! I’ve gotten some real tongue-choking jokes from him in our eleven years but Schrodinger’s bi may just top them.
Earlier this week, I complained about finding inch-worms destroying my plants. His response? Paraphrased, “I hate inchworms. They need to learn some assertiveness instead of always inching around like they’re expecting to get stepped on.” I. Just. About. Died.
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Porg-give me if this is out of line, but I wanted to show off the little buddy my hubby got me for Christmas last year. Folks, if you’re looking for love, find you someone who respects your nerdities and odditudes.
Y’all can keep y’all’s his and hers towels; in this home we have Pikachu and Porgs.
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You got very Southern there for a moment.
In my defense, I was born and raised in Missouri maybe an hour from the M’Arkansas border, and I still live in the same region. Missouri is Southern enough for the awkward stuff like accent but too far north for the sweet tea to taste good.
QuoteThat is a really sweet gift! I hope some day I can be married to someone like that!
It really was just the sweetest thing, really. I grew up in a family where fannish behavior was supposed to be kept secret and treated as an embarrassment. When Cold started bringing his Playstation and anime over for dates I knew I hit gold. Honey, if you can, try to find you a man (or woman, or both, or neither, or ancient eldritch entity, etc) who respects your inner nerd and lets theirs out around you. I hope you can find someone who appreciates you for who you are, too. It’s worth everything in the world when you can be dorks together.
By the way? We’ve been together 11 years this April, he regularly lets me pull the “rubber ducky” maneuver on him when I’m stumped on a scene, and I’ve taken up gaming with him on occasion. He’s my favorite dork and I’m his favorite nerd, and it’s just what we both needed.
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It's Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law invited herself over for dinner and will be here around five. I barely managed to get the place clean. My husband is cranky, I've got cooking left to do, and Woozle just tried to pee on his sister.
...at least the apartment smells like orange cupcakes.
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- JayDee and BronxWench
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Well, there go my after-dinner plans. I'd rather not get shanked.
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- JayDee and BronxWench
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So, it’s been a rough few days. My mom is in hospital with congestive heart failure, exacerbated by COPD, atrial fibrillation, and Parkinson’s. It’s been one step forward and two steps back for the past 4 days, but at least I’m allowed to see her for a couple of hours each day.
So, if I’m a bit more absent, or crankier than usual, I apologize in advance.-
Sorry to hear this, Hon.
I hope by now you’ve had some good news… For what it’s worth, you come across as a strong, capable, and patient person, and I know you can handle what’s thrown at you. Your mother is a lucky woman to have you at her side, even with the social distancing restrictions.
Take care, BronxWench; I wish you both the best, and hope for the same for you both.
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Things dog people should know about cats:
- They don’t hate everything – some of them just have resting bitch behavior.
- They don’t want to kill you in your sleep – they want to cuddle...your face.
- Some are picky about food. Others? “Feed me right now oR i WiLl ScReAm!!!”
- The fat ones are the cuddliest. The skinny ones make good parrots.
- They’re not lazy – they conserve energy for their one-am zoomies. No, they don’t care if that doesn’t work with your schedule.
- Hairballs...that’s really just a euphamism for “fur-filled barf-cigar.”
- If you treat them right, and don’t treat them like dogs, chances are they’ll love you for life. If you treat them like dogs, they’ll become assholes.
- On the other hand, some really are just assholes from the start. It’s a toss-up.
- Toe-beans. ‘nuff said.
Brought to you by my two babies, Heiferlump Chance and Woozle Thomas...one of whom is screaming for food right now. Cats.
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The title said cats annoying their owners, but most of what I saw was sweet neglected babies demanding (and some receiving) attention.
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I’m so ready for Fall.
...if I break my neck on the stairs tomorrow, that’s NOT what I meant.
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- JayDee and BronxWench
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YAS! I like your idea better. 2020 has been a nightmare from beginning to end...it’s gotten to the point where folks ask me “how’s life going?” and the only response I can think of is “it’s sharting blackbirds.”
But then people who’ve never acquainted themselves with Hieronymus Bosch’s work are totally lost and wonder if I’ve got a screw loose. It’s an accurate mental image, though.
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- BronxWench and JayDee
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The state of the world has finally convinced me: humans are too ridiculous for words.
From here on out, I choose to identify as a porg...
...because I, too, am small, awkward, chunky, incredibly useless, frequently in the way, and undeniably adorable, and I, too, make obnoxious sounds to communicate with others of my species.
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What can I say? Porgs make everything better.
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THIS is why I have no faith in Reverse Dictionary. Granted, I suck at summarizing phrases and that doesn’t help the AI anyway, but its best guess for “Someone who has had wrong done to them” is VIRGIN?!
...I can’t. I just can’t even.
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- BronxWench and InBrightestDay
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Another recent flub from the Reverse Dictionary:
“frustration over a recurring unpleasant event.” Suggestion: Pantaloons.
I have a feeling that wouldn’t even make sense in the Matrix. I may never cease to be frustrated by my brain’s inability to find the words I need, but at least that makes sense. “Pantaloons,” however….
...nope.
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THIS is why I have no faith in Reverse Dictionary. Granted, I suck at summarizing phrases and that doesn’t help the AI anyway, but its best guess for “Someone who has had wrong done to them” is VIRGIN?!
...I can’t. I just can’t even.
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- BronxWench and InBrightestDay
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The idea behind the site is a good one but the execution...eh...well, it’s horribly lacking. I’ve never gotten a single good answer from the site no matter how many times I rephrase what I’m looking for.
Highly suggested. It’s more trouble than it’s worth unless you’re looking for a laugh.
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The difference between this site’s forums and FFnet’s forums is...uh...what’s a good solid word for “incredible?” There’s no doubt which of the two is better.
FFnet forums are plagued with simple, honest, non-aggressive questions which are subject to aggressive dogpiling, bullying, retributive reporting, and immaturity from users who don’t comprehend that you can disagree with someone without that disagreement making them a horribly nasty and evil person AND without being an utter dickbag about it. I’ve seen questions about site functions and guidelines turn into cyber-bullying sessions that have made people log off for weeks to recover; many of these times, I’ve given up on getting my answer to track the bullied user down and reassure them only to find out they were brought to tears and considering deleting their accounts entirely. The immaturity and bullying on that site is appalling, and even more so that it’s allowed to continue without repercussions.
AFF forums? I’m looking for a thread to get answers from; instead, I just found a topic titled “Uses for a pet demon” and sprayed hot tea out my nose. No attacks in the replies, just people having fun with the idea and being – GASP! – rational human beings! Even more, users replying are – if you can believe it – JOKING about it! I feel like a kid who heard “Detention” but instead wound up at Disney World for the week. Plus, I can say someone’s being a dickbag without being reported for profanity, and I can write “this hit me hard” without the censors leaving only “me hard.” That's always awkward.
I love this site, and I love its users. Y’all are awesome. If only the site was easier to navigate and use on my tablet and if only it had better log-in security, I’d love it twice as much. Either way, it’ll be a while before I bother with FFnet’s forums again.
Now I just need to find a thread for language research & resources...
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I think that’s the very place I wound up posting a new thread with my question, BronxWench.
Much appreciated!
Honestly, if I have to choose between people who have a sense of humor and people who clutch their pearls over someone saying butt in the forums when not referring to cigarettes or weapons...uh...I’ll go with fun people every time.
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I have received a final grade of 8 (out of 10) for my BA thesis in Japanese language and culture. So I will be graduating with a BA degree and a grade point average (is that what it’s called in English?) of 7,75.
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That’s some incredible work you’ve done – a round of applause from the US!
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I’m confused here. I got a ‘disclaimer’ review on one of my older stories (Denial) from mod PIPPYCHICK. It includes this text:
QuoteYour disclaimer doesn't have one of the two parts we need to see. It must say that no money/profit is made. Saying that it’s just for fun or just for entertainment purposes is not enough.
BUT! my disclaimer for that story states just that. I double-checked, and the disclaimer has these words exactly:
QuoteI do not own TMNT, Hellboy, or any mentioned music, movies, etc; I make no money from this. I DO own Alesha, Maggie, Dante, the Willows, and Amber...and coffee. LOTS of COFFEE.
This is the basic disclaimer format I used for that series of stories with the exception of the word “story.” (I think maybe I ran out of characters…? I dunno. It’s been a while since I even thought about that story or series. Anywho, I replied to the email immediately upon receipt of it but haven’t gotten any answer yet. (I can't recall if replying to the email will do any good. In my defense, I’ve been oscillating between fine and suddenly retching most of the day.)
Was this an error? Does acknowledging ownership of my OCs throw the rest of the disclaimer into question? Was my dorky joke about owning lots of coffee the problem? Or does “I make no money from this” translate to “Dude! I’m totally getting paid for writing this story!” and somehow, I’ve never noticed before?
I’m so confused right now. (...or am I queasy? Or is it both? ...both. Both is good.)
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Hey, Folks! I’m not ignoring y’all like a brat. I’ve tried replying to this post several times but my tablet browser keeps eating the replies when I click ‘post.’
Pardon the mental image but Kindle’s “Silk” browser is about as useful as bollocks on a heifer.
Basically no worries because real life ALWAYS comes first and it always should come first, and I greatly appreciate the help.
WillowDarkling, thank you for posting that link – I couldn’t find it before I posted the original status, probably because I was stuck in a sick-fog. (I was worried I wouldn’t be able update fix the disclaimer within the time allotment on account of said sick-bug. It was doing its darndest to take me down and keep me there. Next time something like this comes up, I’ll be sure to follow that link.
BronxWench, very much appreciated! Also, you never fail to make me grin. You’re a hoot. Hope the jury duty went well!pippychick, eh, no worries. Mistakes happen, especially when you’re stressed and busy.
I spend half my days in a daze and I don’t have your excuse so you’re doing just fine. I hope the move is going well…?
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If stray cats were hot girls, my life would be a harem anime.
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- JayDee, BronxWench, Ghost-of-a-Chance and 1 other
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I LOVE this!
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It’s been over seven years since RUSH released Clockwork Angels, and nothing has changed. I still fall into an all-encompassing, skin-prickling, lung-stilling, and soul-rending state of ecstasy every time I hear “The Wreckers.” The problem? My hubby has crazy-narrow tastes in music and can’t comprehend how I can love that song so much. It’s true, but I feel like telling him “it makes my ears jizz themselves” would be poorly received by someone who only enjoys music with screaming in it.
Seriously. My ears need a smoke after the song’s over. It’s that freakin’ good.
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- BronxWench and JayDee
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BronxWench – you’ve had the honor of reading the book?!
OMG, I can barely contain my envy and the intensity of my geek-out! You lucky, lucky woman!
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It’s been over seven years since RUSH released Clockwork Angels, and nothing has changed. I still fall into an all-encompassing, skin-prickling, lung-stilling, and soul-rending state of ecstasy every time I hear “The Wreckers.” The problem? My hubby has crazy-narrow tastes in music and can’t comprehend how I can love that song so much. It’s true, but I feel like telling him “it makes my ears jizz themselves” would be poorly received by someone who only enjoys music with screaming in it.
Seriously. My ears need a smoke after the song’s over. It’s that freakin’ good.
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- BronxWench and JayDee
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JayDee – I’m happy to have introduced you, then!
As a Rusher it’s almost physically painful for me to admit it but I was overall disappointed with the music on Clockwork Angels. The lyrics ranged from “up to par” to “above average” and the concept was great but the sound...uh...yeah, it may just be my ears have gotten spoiled but most of the music came across poorly balanced and, on some tracks, borderline cacophonous. Despite a moment of excessive rhyming repetition at the climax The Wreckers is the only exception I’ve noted on the album. It’s everything I’ve come to expect from Rush and more. The rise and fall of the tempo and pitch, the melodic build and fade, it all evokes the scene being described perfectly. The first time I heard this song, I was so moved by it I cried; even after all this time, it never fails to send chills down my spine and goosebumps scattering over my arms and neck. It hits every single musical frisson trigger in my brain and in just the right order.
Also, for any uninitiated: Clockwork Angels is a concept album based on a steampunk reimagining of Voltaire’s Candide, and Rush’s FINAL studio album.
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- JayDee and BronxWench
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Oh this is hilarious. I’ve once again buggered the buzzard on posting chapters and have reached out for help...and the ad on the thread, last I checked, is for something called Ghost’s Dilemma.
My pen-name varies from site-to-site due to various site restrictions on logins, but the name I go by online is Ghost Chance. Thanks for the publicity but I kinda feel called out.
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Eh, no sweat if you do, BronxWench. I took my penname from a RUSH song so it’s not like I can copyright it.
I take it you’re the mysterious author? Kudos, Hon!
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Oh this is hilarious. I’ve once again buggered the buzzard on posting chapters and have reached out for help...and the ad on the thread, last I checked, is for something called Ghost’s Dilemma.
My pen-name varies from site-to-site due to various site restrictions on logins, but the name I go by online is Ghost Chance. Thanks for the publicity but I kinda feel called out.
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Hey, there’s no shame in publicizing good writing.
My mistake for assuming the sarcasm was missed. Perhaps I’ve been associating too much with non-sarcasm-fluent persons lately…? It’s become strange to have it recognized instead of taken at face value.
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Oh this is hilarious. I’ve once again buggered the buzzard on posting chapters and have reached out for help...and the ad on the thread, last I checked, is for something called Ghost’s Dilemma.
My pen-name varies from site-to-site due to various site restrictions on logins, but the name I go by online is Ghost Chance. Thanks for the publicity but I kinda feel called out.
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I was being sarcastic there, but thanks for the reading recc anyway. I just found it funny that I’m dealing with a dilemma of my own and found an ad with my ‘codename’ and ‘dilemma’ in the title on the page where I’ve been seeking help. Heckuvan ironic coincidence, IMO.
Well, my usual go-to is het fiction but when I get bitten by the M/M bug next, I might just have to check that out. Grats to the writer, either way!
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Things which literally never happen to me:
- Hearing Nuvole Bianche without mentally melting into a blissful rapturous puddle
- Seeing “Woozle” snoring with his mouth open and his little tongue hanging out without snickering
- Smelling an old book without the urge to huff it like a lunatic regardless of who’s watching
- Tasting a well-prepared quality tea without being thankful for life in general
- Feeling Heiferlump step on me with her pointy little toes without shrieking in pain then apologizing for startling her.
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InBrightestDay, I regularly argue with my older cat...and lose. She can’t speak English but I still lose. Compared to that, demanding bugs stay out or pay rent isn’t that weird.
Also, libraries always smell DIVINE to me. Or, at least, OTHER libraries smell divine to me. Our local library stank of dirty feet and unwashed underwear for the last few years; now that it’s moved into the new building it just smells like paper and fuckboy. Fit to make a body cry, it is. The college library, though...WHEW! It’s a book-huffer’s dream come true – one step through those doors and your nose needs an after-fun cigarette.
First rule of Book-Huffing Club: You don’t talk about Book-Huffing Club.
Second Rule of Book-Huffing Club: There is no Book-Huffing Club.
Third rule: If you find a good one, don’t be greedy - SHARE IT with fellow Book-Huffers.
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Things which literally never happen to me:
- Hearing Nuvole Bianche without mentally melting into a blissful rapturous puddle
- Seeing “Woozle” snoring with his mouth open and his little tongue hanging out without snickering
- Smelling an old book without the urge to huff it like a lunatic regardless of who’s watching
- Tasting a well-prepared quality tea without being thankful for life in general
- Feeling Heiferlump step on me with her pointy little toes without shrieking in pain then apologizing for startling her.
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I had no idea this had any replies!
OOPS.
BronxWench – Happy to oblige! It’s one of my favorite classical pieces, modern or traditional. First time I watched Insidious I literally girly-squealed with joy when I heard this song playing in one of the scenes. I’m glad to hear your pup’s doing alright after her ordeal! Were they able to find and correct the cause, or is it a chronic condition for her? Poor little gal...
InBrightestDay – I did, indeed, share this precisely to share the wonders of Ludovico Einaudi. ...aaaand because I spent that entire week with Nuvole Bianche stuck in my head playing on repeat. Considering what usually gets stuck in there, I consider myself lucky for that one. What an incredible composer!
CloverReef – Heiferlump and Woozle are my two cats.
Woozle is a Mama’s boy (and currently trying to wedge himself between the keyboard and my chest) who loves nothing more than curling up on me and conking out...and snoring. Heiferlump is his ginormous but sweet-as-sugar ‘sister,’ who has been known to leave bruises after stepping on people.
Book-huffers unite! My personal favorite is an old and age-stained copy of Victor Hugo by Leopold Mabilleau; this French relic was bound in 1939 and spent the majority of the time since in a college library. By now it has a delightful aroma of dust, aged paper, sweet wood, pipe tobacco, and oddly enough, vanilla. I suspect this might be a result of the same kind of college kids who smoked catnip in hopes of getting high. My French has never been good enough to read this book; I keep it around purely for book-huffing purposes.
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