[The Direct Address Comma Rule]

The greatest gift we can give our children is the desire to learn, thereby improve, at every opportunity. This gift requires more time and attention than the majority, that I have been exposed to, of parents care to invest. I'm not saying this is your failure. I'm just commenting in general. Not all parents are capable of teaching their own kids, and as such, should be able to trust the educational system to help them. Epic fail, in most cases. -- fragment intended for emphasis.

I cannot comprehend how so many writers, fanfiction or not, can publish stuff that is so riddled with spelling, punctuation, capitalization and content errors and be praised for such stuff. Typos and blatant blah in published works -- actually paperbacks, etc., set my blood to boiling. No one is perfect. One or two mistakes, I can overlook. Folks eating grandma? No, I cannot bear the cannibalism.

I hear you, Pitt. In fact I can rant as loudly as you in this instance, only with a very diversified portfolio of complaints concerning grammar and modern educational laziness. For those who take writing seriously, it is an unavoidable fact that most do not care that they are writing cannibalism. Use of proper commas annoys the stubbornly blind and willfully ignorant. Sorry for ranting at everyone who reads this post. However, I am so righteously frustrated with each instance I come across that contains excuses for not trying to improve a story that I can't help but do a bit of spewing of my own.

I tried to teach my son proper grammar outside of school when I realized he knew nothing of genuine comma use, nor other grammar rules. You will be disturbed to learn that I got called into the school office more than once by by the principle for messing with my child's learning curriculum. I was told my interference would damage his future. The school bully Principle threatened me with getting my son removed on abuse charges. I was helping him with English because I was an employed Editor at the time. I knew grammar better than the stupid nitwits teaching English. I suppose that must have been threatening to said egotistic English Teachers. How's that sad fact grab you? I have been of the opinion that the modern education system has been set up to insure indoctrinated children, not fully capable adults who can function as successes since that series of power play episodes. My son is incapable of writing well due to the school's interference with my attempts to teach correct writing skills before my stroke.

You are correct when you say teachers were reduced to babysitting duties by the government's funding dole. I am also saddened that you were forced into such a hard spot by people you tried to help as a beta. I understand your decision to quit. I would do the same in your position since stubbornly ignorant do it for me types have become the majority in recent years. Reading over the beta offers here makes me cringe 95 percent of the time. The grammar is often a joke, and the spelling errors are worse than my sadly disturbing shout box typo terrorism mistakes. My misspelled words embarrass me greatly, but, I have pride which is always stinging due to my mistakes.

All too often, I think I am hitting the backspace button and hit the enter button instead. That is the visual aspect of the mess my brain has been trapped within for several years because of my stroke. However, I do not believe that excuses my horrible typos. I know the reason for the problem, yet have not found the way to overcome said embarrassing problem at this time. I am still searching for that answer and have all my determination involved with finding a working solution. I know the Dyslexia illness quite well, and I hate it when I cannot see mixed up letter orders that glare at others. Still, I refuse to accept it as a limitation, or use it as a convenient cop out to get out of revisions. Dyslexia is my personal battle to overcome no matter how long it takes to erase it from my own personality. Some days when I awaken, I am ashamed to know that I am less than I once was as a writer/editor. So why do so many use excuses for their lack of knowledge? Knowledge is only powerful if it gets used correctly. I do not understand the mind set of so many writers who post fan fiction and similar on free sites like AFFnet. I get livid with each excuse or deleted review that should have helped the writer to make a truly powerful and engrossing read.

Messed up as my recall has been since the stroke, I still retained far more grammar rules than most of the younger generation has ever tried to absorb. When I look at a sentence, I know it is off kilter. The knowledge that I should know the answer intimately makes for an unbearable sadness over how much damage my brain suffered when I had that stupid stroke. The words and rules are in there, but I cannot access them without a horrific battle. Some of the wrongs, I still cannot pinpoint with accuracy, so I look up rules and try to figure out why that sentence bugs me so deeply, and with good reason. Some grammar rules have been changed in recent decades to reflect the dumb it down mentality of the modern American education system. The new rules only get applied because I do wish to get back to the point where I can become a paid editor/author again. For now, I have to accept that I have a long road to continue walking if I want to get back to my former know how and English command's full glory.

Still, seeing so many excuses about bad grammar and spelling tend to really anger me because I am busting my ass to get back everything that I know I have lost. It hurts to have to admit that I am dyslexic and it affects my vision. I do not always see mistakes in spelling due to the letters looking correct in their order to my stupidly screwed up brain. However, I always correct things in my own stories once someone helps me find which word is the wrong word. So long as the paragraph number is provided and the sentence pinpointed, I do fix the mistake as a matter of personal pride. I correct grammar stage after stage as I relearn rules that were erased by the illness I suffered. Isn't that how every real writer should be?

Therefore, I can not understand the "poor, pitiful me" type author who has a knee jerk excuse for why they can't do something, or how they tried it once and it did not work out perfectly for them so why bother continuing to use the technique? The fact is, I quickly begin to doubt that such individuals ever actually tried to do anything toward correcting their writing problems. To my thinking, such writers are looking for pity pats on the head, not solutions that bring real growth as a writer. My dyslexia, and stroke recovery do not qualify me to be lazy about repairing my drafts with each rule I personally seek to relearn. I set aside time, and I do work to improve every chapter in manageable chunks while focusing upon a specific relearned rule. To my way of thinking, that is how all writers should act.

My personal stroke recovery has included studying grammar books that I buy to relearn the trade I adore with every fiber of my being. I spend time every week going over specific sections of the rules to relearn everything I lost. The Rules I can't quite recall how to use from explanations, I ship a detailed this is what the book says email to one of the friends that I know whom uses the rule correctly. I construct a couple example sentences and ask if I am on the right track. Once my friends get back to me, they explain where my damaged brain sector gets things backwards and offer corrections. Once I can get the actual rule structuring right in my brain, I do catch more of the mistakes in my own writing. I still have plenty of spots I am ashamed of within my own writing, but I take every concrit review I receive to revise, edit, and reload each chapter in slow but steady steps. I do not erase stories to revise them. Edit button works well for revising chapters as I get the chapters repaired. Only WIP stories, and the third novel in the series that I have posted here at AFFnet have yet to get overhauled. Trying to satisfy fans who constantly contact me seeking updates does slow my progress with the hard revisions I am determined to complete in stages. Yet, I do not believe I have the right to consider the grammatically messed up items acceptable. Correcting them is always on my mind.

Finally, I am sorry for getting on such a snarling soap box such as I have in this post. My frustration with so many people who use Dyslexia as an excuse for failure and laziness has me insanely angry right now. A dozen such threads filled with excuses about the topic of why people think they are incapable of overcoming their flaws in writing has me seeing bright, neon, glowing embers of red today. Society does not seem inclined to self improvement of late. Society loves to wallow in poor, pitiful, victimized me syndrome which is one thing my blunt personality can never embrace.

[The Direct Address Comma Rule]

This has been driving me nuts in the Archive. I learned this rule as a ten year old kid so I now question WTH our kids are being taught. This comma makes all the difference in the world in a sentence. Let's demonstrate!

"Let's eat, Grandma!" means that we want Grandma to put the grub on the table.

"Let's eat Grandma!" means that we have suddenly become cannibals and Grandma IS the grub.

A lowly comma, long neglected by lazy writers, completely changes the context!

It also applies to terms of endearment or titles:

"Yes, Master," murmured the slave.

"Good night, my sweet," whispered the dom.

If even one person changes their evil ways, I shall rejoice with dancing, dearies!

I tend to agree with your feeling that the direct address comma is fast becoming a lost art. My younger son barely got any education about grammar at his public school to be blunt. He has recently turned twenty-one and can barely put together a simple letter. I think that contributes a lot to the problem you have in the archive. English is not about teaching the mechanics of writing if my son's education is any worthy measure of the modern "No Child Left Behind" laws governing our public schools.

I know I tend to forget the direct address comma in shout box which is bad form since I went to college to learn how to be an editor. However, for all my dastardly spelling, and grammar mistakes in shout box, I do endeavor to be more professional with my stories.

Plainly speaking, I would love to have a reliable beta whom was capable of working with my writing schedule. Unfortunately, nobody knowledgeable enough, and capable of giving a decent beta response has the time to give consistent grammatical feedback to me. Therefore, I have developed a jaded view of fan fiction betas who offer their services. Fan fiction is less important to those who have the actual grammar knowledge. They do not mind putting aside a fan fiction piece in favor of other, often important pursuits. I do get a few reviews that help me to go back and find mistakes which I correct in batches. Still, I have learned the hard way that my Initial D stories are not important enough to betas for them to catch my jaded eyes missed mistakes on a timely schedule. Therefore, in the fan fiction writing sector, I tend to relegate a beta as more of a sounding board when I am not certain I am evoking the emotions I intend. My personal experiences support this evolving ideology that fan fiction is not taken seriously by the vast majority.

The same jaded view has evolved toward giving other writers concrit reviews. I tone my reviews down drastically so as to be less offensive, however, the majority of reviews I have given are deleted because I point out the very worst of the grammar problems, while ignoring many other minor glitches. Honestly, if everything I say which might help the writer is going to get deleted, why should I continue? Lately, I am confining my reviews to writers who ask me directly for a read and review service. Without such an invitation, I assume that the review will be deleted post haste.

The direct Address comma, and many other grammatical punctuations, are lost to the modern world. Use of correct grammar often gets me yelled at by ignorant reviewers. They scream about my correct use of commas more than any other grammar rule. I stopped connecting dialog with extra sentence structure as one means of silencing the grammatically dim. I end every scrap of dialog now with a period. If I am going to designate a speaker, I do so in a separate sentence to keep morons from complaining.

The sad reality is that those who know are becoming a very rare minority. The last 5 books my son read contained such atrocities of language that I know full well reading books is no guarantee of teaching the modern hobbyist author anything remotely literary correct. Garbage is now the standard for success. Reality is a sorrowful dive into the cesspool of stupidity and laziness. I came to that conclusion with my younger son's English teacher as the foundation of how lazy society has become in the last 21 years.

[Compulsion to Review everything? Or is it just me?]

Chuckles as I read this thread. Raymy. You are putting way too much pressure on yourself to review every single chapter you have read for others. I don't know about other writers, but to me, a couple reviews spaced out after a few read chapters is quite sufficient for me to know I am on the right track. Hell, A review at the very end of the story that tells me the good, bad, and ugly is also great. To be blunt, emotional impact is one of the foundations of memorable characters and is vital to a decent review. The fact you analyze and express the emotional tones happens to be one of the most overlooked aspects of concrit reviews that are given by the majority. Most concrit reviews focus on writing mechanics instead of the emotional quality and tone of a story.

You've sent me a couple great PM's about messed up words my dyslexia misses because spell checker says the spelling is correct. How many times have you told me about how form should be from? You are appreciated very much as a reviewer and as a quasi sounding board when I am disgusted with my raw drafts because you understand character emotions contained within my writing style. :0 ) Much as people complain about the cruelties I have heaped upon Takumi through 4 stories so far, they keep reading because of people like yourself tell me that the emotions are consistent with the expected actions after each crisis. It helps immensely to stay in character when you do that for me.

However, I also think that you backlog yourself with giving reviews to avoid completing your own writing by piling something in front of it until it gets buried with to do lists. You put too much pressure on yourself to review other writer's efforts as a subconscious self sabotage to refrain from giving me more nutty professor chapters that I am squirming to read damitol!

You have a great grasp of actual characters in the fan fiction you write, so yes, I am going to send a big raspberry your way on this one. Review a couple select chapters in full novel length stories. A single review for every 8 to 10 chapters in a book sized tale is plenty to let the writer know the good, bad, and ugly of their work. Take a few notes while you read, and before you log off, shoot the review to the writer. That way you avoid getting backlogged so badly, and I can safely harass you for more nutty professor chapters in the future, cause you write him so very well. Okay I think that's enough of a lecture and sly plea for an update on your Bleach story.

[this site's on fire!]

My very first sale (coming out soon) is a slash story, and I have three more in the works. I'll write what sells. As Arlo Guthrie said, "I'm not proud. Or tired."

Very true that you do have to write what sells to break even eventually. I have learned to have the same theory since I stopped editing for the micro publishing industry. I may ignore some of the rules when writing my fan fiction, but I do know that my editor training comes out hard core when I work on an original story I started because slash is all that is selling. Whether "Wanted" ever gets to see the light of day as a fic here is debatable for the moment. Guess we shall see once I get to the point I am content with my own personal driven evisceration before sending it through email to a pal or two for feedback. Still, such is some time in the future because the tale is nowhere near complete at the moment.

[Mentality]

Violence is everywhere in the real world, so trying to avoid it is futile. In reality it is one of several silent epidemics that people try to ignore, alongside child molestation, rape and other torments that are not pleasant to look upon for the majority of polite society. I recall a professor telling me that "if it bleeds, or it pleads, then it leads" was the main motto of the News industry in the 80's. Human psychology in a nutshell is conveyed beautifully with that one phrase. Case in point, how many movies are promoted each weak that feature things blowing up, or blood, guts, and gore spraying everywhere? Media has driven violence a great deal because it sells.

Hence, violence can be written out to give cues about survival at all cost stakes, or to depict a character's out of control anger. Violence can be written to give people cathartic easing of their own painful pasts by putting a made up person in the same situations, or to shock and dismay those who have led sheltered lives. Some write violence to blow steam so they will not enact such cruelty in real life where it is forbidden. Others write violence because it sells so well in the media industry that lives to feed the human beast's basest nature.

Psychological triggers are known to exist in human instincts that are capable of unleashing dangerous levels of violence in the name of self preservation. Humanity has only marginally left violence behind in the last 100 years. Still, if you turn on the news at night, or read the newspaper, murders and other violent crimes are committed every single day. We like to believe that we have evolved away from being literal alpha predator animals over the centuries, yet evolution does not eradicate instincts completely. Deny it all we want, we shall never completely remove that element from our existence. People who ignore violence are often attempting to delude themselves that the world can become a peace loving place. Go out in nature for a week and live off the land, it will shock and dismay the average person with how violent this world is to the core of everything's existence.

For myself, violence is often an exercise in the cathartic realm. Since my childhood/teenaged years were so traumatic, I can not write happy or fluffy stories. I can not relate well to the happy or fluffy types of stories. They are too unrealistic when weighed against the vast majority of my personal life experiences. I also tackle the very same nightmare cruelties that I myself survived through learning how to become an expert in surviving violence. Nobody ever saved me from any of the grim nightmare I experienced as a teenager in the foster case system when the Black Market Baby Farming Scandals and child porn rings were overrunning foster homes in my state. Therefore I write about things that polite society loves to look away from because they can't handle the truth still happening to the weakest people in every society on this planet. All of my stories contain darkness and forbidden controversial topics that polite society tries to pretend have been eradicated despite there being people like myself who have survived such atrocities. Knowing that horrific crimes are swept under the rug because too much money gets made from human suffering, I will always write what I know best, the disgusting underbelly of human nature. Educating people is one of my agendas in my writing, even if I have to twist and distort anime stories to raise awareness.

People like to pretend that slavery no longer exists, but it actually does right here in the good Old USA, especially on the Mexican/American border. Teenagers go missing all the time in my area, with red head white girls being the number one targets. I still come across other survivors of the same sick and twisted people who took over the old guard I helped destroy through massive determination when I finally escaped the System. Even with the Feds now overseeing all the state's child protection divisions because of my core group, and groups who filed charges and got hard evidence from states like New York over 30 years, a few sick fucks still manage to set up short term sex/slavery rackets that use helpless children. Then again, "Human trafficking" is the nicer politically correct term for the ancient evil called "Slavery" that is still happening world wide.

Those who do not know violence and who were raised in proverbial bubble wrap worlds can fantasize about violence, but they are way too phony reading on the occasions I read other people's stories. I can tell within a few sentences who has ever had the unholy shit, bone busting beatings delivered to their own bodies, or have ever done any real hitting, and those who are full of bull. Different people may write violence for various reasons, yet violence remains a literal part of life that the squeamish, and the hardened alike must look upon at some point within their own lives. Better that it be contained in written words instead of faced in literal crisis situations within one's actual life is my motto. I've been there, done that, and am covered in the scars that prove it is not something a person undergoes without emotional and physical damage that can only be mitigated, yet never completely removed.

[No, seriously, WHAT is good writing?]

I was an actual editor for several years so I think I'll weigh in on this topic. I am not going to sugar coat the facts as I know them to be in the publishing industry because that would be a waste of everyone's time. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, however, these are genuine facts that need to be considered before dumping the day job. Many published writers still have real jobs because of these facts. Steven King class authors are exceptions to the rules. Celeb status is a different beast that only the delusional think is normal for authors to achieve.

Writers have to have very thick skin to survive in this business. If you think I am harsh, quit trying while you still can because I'm being much nicer than I ever considered being when I was an active duty editor. As Bronx said, you get eviscerated by editors to turn the weak spots into a tight action and quality read, or you get out. Whining is not allowed because the bottom line is the money shelled out and the profits that have to come in to keep the company alive. If you want to pay your bills as a writer, fair warning up front, you can forget it. the average author must publish 3 novels per year to pay their basic bills. Standard purchase contracts are around10 grand for a moderately well known author to get per book contract! Royalties are not big pay outs unless you have a mega hit novel and the sales far exceed expectation.

Do not quit your day job because very few authors ever make the kind of money Steven King and the other rare yet huge success story celeb authors can command!!! The average writer makes approximately 17 grand off of their books and royalties per year if they publish one book per year and have at least 6 selling books to their resume list. Some make more, but again, they also tend to have higher sales percentages over a stable period of a couple years to their credit also.

Good writing is actually a fairly simple matter. Give your main character(s) a root problem with high grade stakes to overcome. I can assure you that every single person I know working in the Publishing industry will throw the work out before they finish reading a full page if they do not see a stakes situation evolving fast for the main character. The same applies to settings and back story. Back story is a flavoring for the main course, not the meat, nor potatoes. If you waste time writing the back story before the first crisis is getting set up, you have a complete waste of paper on your hands because none of the still working editors I know will read past 3 paragraphs before dumping the story in the closest trashcan.

This is the publishing industry Laws within the USA Not one employed editor will care how much action, or perfected the grammar/spelling, nor how neat and pretty a tale's descriptions are if the story fails to deliver a memorable character. Flaws in the other areas can be fixed with editing and revision. Yet, if your character isn't getting emotionally pushed around from page one, you have zero chance of getting published unless you are a known celebrity like Steven King.

You can bitch, scream, whine, and cry all you like about this as currently unpublished authors, but this is one fact you will never get around while the publishing industry is still teetering so precariously on the edge of collapse. The recession recovery remains slow, and E-publishing by vanity presses continue cutting into the Publishing industry's wallets. If the story is very well written, you might find an agent willing to market the completed novel, but that is one of the very few ways to get published without shelling out hard cash right now. The buddy system is a known fact of life in the dog eat dog world of publishing.

If an unknown writer wants even a slim chance of getting published, keep certain things in mind; Plot and Character are always intertwined. Character can be compared to a car. Plot is the highway the car drives upon to get anywhere. You can not ignore either item and hope to win an agent, or get a book signing without having a blood relative if you screw up either aspect. In vanity publishing, expect to pay through the nose to get your story sold.

By the end of the plot trip, the car (character) should evolve and change right alongside the landscape that the character overcomes after screwing up a few times. Plot always has to challenge the very roots of the character's past and their honor/values as a human being, or it is not a plot and the story is a failure. I'll give you an extremely important example of what high level stakes mean in the publishing industry. Someone I respected since the 80's actually came up with this example, but it is a profound one to use so I am going to borrow a paraphrased version.

We'll use a big 20 car pile up. The character drives up to the wreck and there are cars on fire and people screaming. In this example being nice won't make this example book sell even if the character saves every single person involved in that wreck single handed.

Here's the catch to make this a working story an editor might consider; Without some type of root dilemma that creates a lot of high stake emotional pressure for the character to overcome through their own internal strength, no amount of action or description will keep the reader's attention! Without a genuine conflict for the characters, this example is a non selling idea.

You want to sell this book? Raise the stakes until the main character feels a huge amount of emotional pain and has to decide to take the easy road or the high road. While they are pulling people out of those cars, have them contemplating how they just got out of prison and are now getting stalled in their planned revenge against the real criminal who framed them a few years before. Have his/her law breaking, cheating con artist boss who implicated the innocent main character of fraud involved somehow. The new released con who did time in prison while the boss got away with the million dollars embezzled type of stakes works well because it means this character has flaws, and has a back story that you reveal with each person the main heroic action newly released convict saves.

How about an even bigger stake to confound our angry ex convict who was innocent? The ex con stumbles onto the ex boss's family in one of those cars. Make the character's hatred of their ex boss war with their original innocent belief in justice and goodness within humanity, or give up now. That is the industry expectation for making a book sell 90% of the time. The character has to decide that in spite of the crooked boss, the family deserves to be saved and do so while still hating the fact that they belong to an unsavory and crooked man. The main character needs to struggle with the idea of how nice it would be to let the crooked ex boss feel the hell of losing the people he should logically love the most. How should the main character respond? What does this angry, wrongfully ruined individual think and feel as he recognizes the trapped wife of the hated evil enemy? Will he/she save the family, or let them die being the real plot in this story that is filled with actions and has all four proverbial burners cooking on high. Either way, whether the convict saves or damns the family, you have a real plot that is driven by the main character.

By the time the rescues are all made, and the ambulances have all left the scene with the highway cleared, what changes did said main character make within themselves? That is the question most important to keep a reader hooked on your story. Fail to deliver, and the story is garbage material to use as kindling in the publishing industry standards.

[this site's on fire!]

I can tell you, as an author on the site, it's what "sells." My het work gets FAR less attention than my slash, and given that I don't write in anime-based fandoms, Twilight, or Harry Potter (eg, 90% of the readership base), it's very evident.

I'm not at all offended, but I can also say that statistically, in the romance ebook genre, it's slash that sells, be it M/M or F/F. And it's largely the influence of anime and manga based fandoms, with the emphasis on yaoi and yuri, that has made that trend take off. Add to that the preponderance of female writers on the site, and there you have it. We like to fantasize about two men having at it, just like many men find two women making love arousing. Think of it as a perfect storm.

As far as the advertisers, if you know of any straight publishers willing to buy some banners here, bring 'em on! We LOVE advertisers.

How very true, Bronx. All of my friends in the publishing industry told me to start focusing on writing Yaoi or Slash stories since they are the ones that do sell. I have been training to completely change genres to survive as a small fry writer at all.

With the current purchase trends and demand being so strong for gay erotica, the only way to survive at all within the industry is to write and sell gay or lesbian stories. Men buy girl on girl, and the female readership, which is the much larger purchasing base, for slash erotica is through the roof with no end in sight. The Hetero scene is almost non existent at the moment within the modern publishing world. Sorry , Aysha, but the reality is that gay or lesbian based fiction are all that sell for the moment, or I would not be writing it to learn the best techniques of the trade.

[Total/average votes]

I have no idea whether or not my vote rating is being dropped or not. Then again, I have yet to figure out the whole voting system so tend to ignore it personally. I don't really think about such items when I post my stories. Personally I have never seen a rating system that was fool poof, or completely reliable either. Fanpoodlers tend to overrate their pal's work to please the whiners, and the best writers can get ignored outright with such rating systems.

I like Bronx's idea about the referral style listing because if someone reads my work, I know they will tend to also tell their friends about my story. Word of mouth has always improved my following, so I like the idea of being able to get such a promotion by my readers. I know a couple dozen people who have sent their friends to my stories because I get told in PM's at FFnet that they refer my work to their pals.

Then again, some people won't be as quick to put up a personal referral for really controversial material. Too bad there isn't an anonymous setting where the referral for a story can be under ones pen name, or under an anonymous tag at the start of a category so to say. Then, if a story gets a lot of referrals, a check mark of some sort could be added beside the title to indicate that the story is liked a lot. If it is a very dark and controversial topic, people will not feel exposed in giving it a referral in such cases.

[Special Announcement: Welcome FanFiction.Net Users]

To be honest, I have to say that FFNet has devolved into the internet's largest porn shop of all. AFFnet is not as raunchy if you count the flat out masses of homo/lesbian/heterosexual/bestiality stories housed in the FFnet's archives. Very few stories on FFnet lack for groping, pawing, and sloppy sex material that I have read. Now on to a couple of post responses.

I strongly disagree that it isn't in part a parenting issue. Fanfiction.net is not a kiddie site and it never has been. It's a general fanfiction site, and if it were only meant for children then they would not allow a huge chunk of the fandoms they host in the first place. It's not unreasonable to suggest that a site which seems not to want mature content to simply REMOVE the "M" rating and thus eliminate any confusion over such things. Hosting Mature rated content but expecting people not to upload mature content is two-faced, at best. They're best off just dropping the rating system down to teen and lower, if they need to devise a different standard for what "M" ratings actually mean.

It's not an adult website either. If it were, then membership would be 18+, not 13+. The issue is that it's against the law to allow minors to join a site that allows adult content. This is an old law, not something new. Adult content has never been allowed on sites that allow minors to join. It's illegal and since ff.net allows membership down to 13 years of age, then no, they can't legally host adult content on that site. And it's been in their ToS for ten years that MA content is not allowed. It's plainly there that explicit sexual content, violence, or language isn't allowed. I agree with you that they shouldn't have hosted it if it was a problem. I personally feel it was pretty irresponsible of the mods not to enforce their own ToS or explain it better to people. But just because they never enforced their ToS doesn't mean people are right or not responsible for complying with it. I get that a lot of people are mad, but it was their choice to ignore the ToS in the first place. Just because you don't agree with a site's ToS doesn't mean you don't have to comply with their rules. Or just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you should too. FF.net isn't doing anything illegal by pulling content down they feel doesn't belong on their site. They have a right to do that without warning or reason. Doesn't mean they should, but it's their right to do so, especially since it's a ToS violation.

All of these thoughts contain very good points. It is a legal issue, however, the problem remains that FFNet has put up homoerotic and lesbian cannon stories categories for people to write about without paying attention to the actual known content of the shows they added to their acceptable categories listings. Bellyaching, threatening retaliation lazy parents also need to monitor their teenagers in case they are ignoring the laws and putting up sexual content stories.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolpinchefsky/2013/05/22/fan-fiction-is-finally-legitimized-with-kindle-worlds/%C2'>Taken from the previous linked article. Some writers starting out in their careers will see this as an opportunity. After all, when you publish in someone else’s universe, a lot of the “heavy lifting” of writing (establishing the characters and the world itself) has been done for you. Also, fans of these shows have already written the stories and posted them to fanfiction.net (where you can find 4,000 Pretty Little Liars stories, 10,000 Gossip Girl stories, and 25,000 Vampire Diaries stories), so publishing on Kindle Worlds is no extra work but 35% of royalties in their pockets. Others see this as cause for concern. Unlike the “real” world of fanfiction, where imaginations are completely unfettered, Kindle Worlds has limits, such as no cross-overs…and no pornography. And yes, quite a few fan fiction stories are pornographic.

Having this article written about the Amazon site's eBooks decision to produce fan fiction for sale led to some very telling statements aboutthe many pornographic tales littering the FFnet archives which because of the lack in Adult Only status is against the law. Such articles led to a huge uproar legally so the Mods are now doing the job they were always supposed to do for their paychecks. They probably do not wish to pay fines, or see their employer go to prison, so they are doing their jobs until all the hoopla caused by Amazon's new eBooks division for publishing and paying for fan fiction dies down considerably.

Because it is listed as a site that allows membership for children, Shonen Ai and Yaoi based animes like Gravitation, KiriPapa, Gakuen Heaven, and Mirage of Blaze should not be listed anywhere on FFnet. In this argument you are correct that FFnet is at fault for putting up such adult themed categories without giving express and maintained guidelines for the content that can be placed upon their site. FFNet was wrong to list animes and television shows which showcase sex, violence and the rest of the Mature rated themes. Having put up such categories as acceptable does imply that FFnet moderators and administration are either very careless, or contemptuous of their own rating system.

Something both posters have ignored is the biggest problem with FFnet's policies. There is an overwhelming number of teenagers or UNDERAGE individuals posting tons of the Pornographic/Gory stories housed at FFnet. I recently pulled almost everything from my list of published stories at FFnet. I only left a single sample chapter of each story up, and have added redirection information to this site for anyone who happens to be old enough to find me again. I was purged the very first time FFnet did this when everything was html manual additions to post anything, so was cautious about returning. I was purged for writing fight scenes and having realistic dialog that included words like bastard.

When I returned to FFnet, I was actually shocked when I started reading fanfiction after a 10 year hiatus. I noticed immediately that tons of the pornography was obviously written by teenagers and even younger sounding children. There are obvious clues when you read an immature person's sexual stories where context and lack of understanding comes across very clearly. Parents do need to be responsible for monitoring their children since their children are posting the most brutal, and smuttiest sexuality I've ever read.

Far too many children are raised by televisions more than by human beings. I know this is a fact because I have been raising other people's children for 20 some odd years as the only mom around that bothers to deal with the teenagers who look for guidance. I think in part their writing is a reflection of their curiosity about adult behaviors, or a sad sign of their premature hard gained knowledge of such topics.

However, I can agree that FFnet only upholds legal rules when they are forced to do so. Signing petitions will not change the legal issues caused by being a site which has members in the 13 age and up range. Deviant Art has several fan fiction groups putting out petitions left and right, yet the laws will not change, so FFnet has to finally clean up it's collective act or get closed permanently by the laws of the world, not just of USA. They are in trouble at this time for allowing their teenaged members to post mature or graphic content stories.

Too many people ignore terms of Service rules. It is a socially condoned flaw that crosses all age ranges/races and both genders. Contempt for law is a real problem across the board and in every nation. FFnet got their fingers burned thanks in part to to the above article so are now having to cover their collective butts. The kids who never should have been writing smut to begin with are losing their easy access for a short time. It will simply mean that they will find other places to put up their infantile rebellious attempts at literature. However, I foresee some of those sites also getting in trouble and having to revise their rules at some point to stay out of trouble with the old laws already on the books in many countries.

[How long do you prefer chapters?]

As a reader, it depends on how the chapter flows. I've read very long chapters, and liked them just fine, and the same goes for short chapters. It really depends on how the chapter itself READS overall.

Very true, DG. Some writers spend time with additional elements outside of dialog and basic actions so require more room for their writing to flow well. I tend toward longer chapters, and yet I have a strong group of followers because of my descriptions and emotional keys. Without such keys, the stories I write would be very lame reading. Style and syntax play an important role in any story chapter written. The best styles for one writer do not transfer well to another writer's style. With that being said, a short story writer does well with a few words to bring out the most of those few words actions and impacts. Longer novel writers need more room to create complex woven descriptions and very realistic characters. It really does come down tot he flow and harmonics of a story and the requirements to pull off the most powerful and enjoyable form.

[Driven Heart - Initial D Yaoi]

I made revisions to chapters 14 and 15 which I did replace today. Chapter 16 is also freshly posted to the story. I also have 3 pages of chapter 17 roughed out as I update here.

[Driven Heart - Initial D Yaoi]

Chapter 15 is up for Driven Heart. Same warnings as normal such as spoiler heavy for Stage 2 anime. Hope everyone enjoys the latest chapter. I decided to add a Takumi P.O.V. chapter for a change. Anyone who has not seen the series should watch stage 2 to see Keisuke go mildly psychotic when Takumi shows up at Akagi, Keisuke's home course to battle Sudo the night before Keisuke battles the Emperors himself. Man those scenes really spark my plot bunnies of yaoi yumminess. Chapter 16 is almost complete also. I have a few more things to add, and the the revision to do. Should be up before the end of the week. Crossing my fingers that it will be ready in a day or two to share.

[Initial D Yaoi Keisuke x Takumi- Rivalry Revealed Series]

Chapter 15 is up for Driven Heart. Same warnings as normal such as spoiler heavy for Stage 2 anime. Hope everyone enjoys the latest chapter. I decided to add a Takumi P.O.V. chapter for a change.

[Reviews anyone?]

Most serious writers will welcome reviews of all types. I'd give my eyeteeth for a concrit review but don't beg or whore out for reviews. It is a part of the writing process to find your own voice, a voice that is completely independent from the reviews.

I agree, Pittwitch. However, it is difficult to weed out those who wish real concrit from those who want ego strokes, or simply desire attention for all the wrong reasons. I see please read and review and I take those writers seriously. I review. I am not all love it vagueness oriented reviewer. I am a to the point and bunt reviewer if there is a very big writing problem, such as run on sentences. I tell the writer what strengths I see, the good points of plot, and other things also. Some stories have very little good to point out also, another problem I run into while reading. I have to refrain from reviewing the really bad fics, because at best I have an abrasive personality and know this well enough. ROFl.

When I write, it is to entertain any who choose to read the things I post. If I do a decent job, both the positive, and negative feedback equally feeds my muse. Both help me to expand as a writer, and revise so that my stories get better with each weakness discovered. I know that I get too close to my own writing, so the feedback with concrit allows me to see things that I miss even after 4 read thorough combs, and corrections done. Like Bronx elegantly put it, I make infantile mistakes in my own writing. It is a normal glitch for any writer to commit. I do edit for a couple of people, yet, I make the dumbest goofs in my own writing. I find most of them once I get through pounding the rough out, but not always.

I get very confused when I see people delete their reviews if anything less than glowing was mentioned. You simply can't improve the stories and the pleasure gained in the work process when that happens. As DemonGoddess said, it is the younger generation doing the review deletes as a matter of course. The same younger generation can not handle any form of input that is less than pedestal placement worthy of them I begin the think. Makes reviewing a real nuisance at times, but I will persevere because a few people do like real reviews.

[Reviews anyone?]

I just reviewed Almost home. I added both of my email addy's if you wish to contact me. Chuckles. I liked your writing style since you did not bog me down with insane bore-fest setup. It was a pleasure to read your short story original. I am not a gamer fan, so I would likely be lost in that sector. Chuckles@myself. Hope that my review helps you to further improve as you continue you writing journey. Who knows, I might even put up a couple sample chapters of some of my original work at some point.

Then again, I used to be at Urbis and was horrified to realize how few people understood real grammar that were giving me feedback at the time. ROFL. It may only be fan fiction I have posted for now, with its own share of dyslexia moments, but I am slowly clearing up problems with my series. But. . . my work tends to psychology heavy. I also write a lot of angst/darker themes so my writing is sometimes abrasive feeling. I do that on purpose though. If you don't mind tat writing style, feel free to check out a page or two of my initial d some day. I would love to know how many glitches others have missed. I'm sure I have a few. Chuckles@ myself. I am way too close to my own writing some days.

[Reviews anyone?]

Actually I pulled up your page today cause DemonGoddess said you like real reviews. She gave me a list of writers who are fine with getting reviews that point out passive voice and similar problems along with the strengths list.

[Reviews anyone?]

Got it. I'll keep that in mind for future reference as to whom I do leave reviews for in the future. I truly appreciate the information from you Demon. I was thinking it was a bad case of people can't handle an ex editor for a magazine giving them feedback despite my attempts to tone down the critical analysis. I'm also prone to think it is the word "revision" included within the reviews that are getting my reviews deleted the most. ROFL. Chalk it up to laziness is one of my stronger opinions at this time.

[Reviews anyone?]

Thanks for the heads up. I was wondering if I was losing my mind when I double checked a couple unfinished stories I decided to read, and have reviewed which were very light on reviews given. Seeing that the reviews were deleted shocked me with the number of people crying for reviews in their A/N sections. A person in shoutbox this morning was complaining about getting lots of positive reviews instead of trolls. When I asked why, they said they were purposefully writing as badly as possible. I do not get the ideology at all. Shaking my head. They got mad at me for telling them, along with others in shoutbox, that they should be grateful that they are getting reviews as feedback at all. Overall, it makes me wonder about whether leaving reviews is worth the hassle of fighting to get the captcha correctly typed in the box some days.

['Women can't write male sex scenes...']

Please no spankings for using necromancy on this thread.

I've been writing slash for a long time now and I am female. Honestly, I don't think it's gender that's the problem but inexperience. Especially where it concerns slash writers who read yaoi/shounen-ai manga as gospel. Many of those comics are poor examples of the male perspective as well as sexuality. I think a lot of slash writers need to put down the manga, close their fanfic book marks, and do some research. There is endless amounts of info on the Internet if you look for it.

...and just an addendum for the sake of being ever so slightly snotty and pretentious: Maybe it's not a matter of women not being able to write from a male perspective. Perhaps it's just a matter of not being able to write from any perspective but their own narrow one. When I write, the gender is always secondary to the character's personality.

Agreed. I did research before touching the slash realm. I've read a few yaoi mangas and to be honest, they are always pairing a man with the equivalent of a dick girl. In real sexual encounters, male and female sexuality includes several levels of foreplay, communication, and other attributes often ignored within hetero, yuri, and slash writing. It is not a case of purely poor slash authors being lazy about telling the story. The problem actually goes across the spectrum I have discovered. Men also are prone to write horrible sex scenes based upon their mind set, the same as the fluffy female perspective of guy with girl in disguise tales.

Fortunately, I know a number of gay men who were willing to discuss things with me when I asked them questions. They all had a similar view: have a deep amount of emotions when they love their partners. Be a bit cavalier when they are in a one night stand, or convenience style relationship. Men have very distinctive perspectives and expectations in sexual encounters. So to do women in most cases. Women seek acceptance/ closeness/attention/ concessions and, or pleasure. Society has a hand in the female and male sexuality roles.

To write well is not a gender specific issue. Writing well requires dedication, research, and discipline. Remaining true to a characterization that is realistic and believable is another facet to creating beautiful sex scenes. Human flaws can spice a scene so that you are drawn deeper into the connection between characters if well portrayed. The character emotions and motivations shift with every specific encounter.

I do not believe it is a lack of ability to write the opposite gender's perspectives that causes writing problems. As other posts have said, research is a key factor in producing a well written sex scene. Likewise, a strong understanding of different points of view, and staying grounded in a single character's experience can make a better reading sexual encounter. Different people have diverse emotional depths which need to be considered to design a well written scene. Syntax, character motivation, and other elements need to be considered to create a realistic, and delicious story.

Most authors who write poor male/female perspective sexuality are too lazy to do research, or write in passive voice prose is my experience with reading fan fiction, or original fiction. Action can convey many subtleties of emotion, yet the bulk of poorly written sex is hackle raising telling me what I am supposed to notice about the scene, instead of allowing me to use my intelligence while reading. Such prose becomes insulting, or empty of all emotional content which distances the reader from the characters. Having character points of view switching rapid fire between characters, especially mid paragraph, is another off putting difficulty for myself as a reader. Sorry if this came off as a rant. Bad writing drives me up the proverbial cliched wall.

[Reviews anyone?]

I am noticing a very strange phenomena among those who ask for reviews. If you give them concrits with real thought, they seem inclined to delete the review. Not sure what to make of this strange conundrum. Then again, even if you point out the strengths, and the good stuff, simply by saying this would read better if you put it in active voice and avoid tense/character P.O.V. shifts every few paragraphs, you get the review deleted. I begin to think people actually only want fanpoodles as reviews. Stranger yet, I was in shout box and a writer was complaining about getting positive feedback in reviews. I totally am confused by this whole nonsense concerning the whole realm of reviewing now.

[So How About A Review Exchange Thread?]

SkyaraSnow, I posted your review. I was an actual editor for a few years in the real world, so I hope my thoughts do not come off as being hurtful. I tend to say things directly, since I used to get paid to be blunt to the writers I worked with; back in the day. Good luck in your writing endeavor. I know you can make a great reading tale with a bit of polishing for the main bulk readers of the fandom. You have an interesting idea and I hope you do very well with the suggestions I gave you in the review so you can increase reviews you receive. Over all, I do see a lot of potential in your story, if you can accept good intentions of the review I gave you for your story.

I write Initial D Yaoi stories. I clearly mark all chapters with sexual content so those who do not like Yaoi as a whole can skip those troublesome moments. My work is geared toward psychological issues with this story. I am putting up the prequel for review since it is hinted at, but not actual sex outside of a few wet dreams. Nothing too graphic is involved since this is not a thread for the mega graphic pornographic gay romance stuff I am prone to write. I know there are mistakes I have still missed. I deeply appreciate having those brought to my attention. I have a touch of dyslexia, so if you see a mixed up, yet correct word, like form instead of From, please let me know. I do not always see that specific typo no matter how often I revise. Thanks so very much for any concrit reviews in advance.

Author: kurahieiritrJio
Title: Driven Heart; Prequel to A Rivalry Revealed Series

Summary: Determined to put his gangster past behind him, Keisuke joined the Red Suns with a dream of becoming a professional race car driver. Yet everything Keisuke has planned for his future starts collapsing when Ryosuke sets his sites on conquering the Akina Speed Stars where Keisuke faces an unforgettable opponent.

Feedback: I adore receiving concrete feedback that lets me know specific repairable story problems. I interact with reviewers in my review reply thread for all my series posted in the Initial D archive, or in PM when reviewers prefer to contact me in that way. I am doing revisions on the rest of the series and replacing chapters because of previous reviews I have received. I have put the URL to the review replies and chapter updates at the bottom.

Fandom: Anime- Initial D
Pairing: Keisuke Takahashi x Takumi Fujiwara
Warnings: Angst, Bi , solo, M/M W/D & WIP
Chaptered story: 14 chapters posted as of 7/4/2013. More coming soon.
URL: http://anime.adultfa...hp?no=600054011

My main Stories list: The below link has the full series, three of which are complete, and one that is also near completion. For those who are not into plots, Romp For Perverts is a "PLot What PLot" -sex only- trimmed highlights- and deleted scenes from the opposite character's point of view taken out of the complete Rivalry Revealed Series to date. It remains a WIP until such time as I stop writing Takumi x Keisuke romances in honor of my bisexual son. I started this series because of his struggles in coping with his own life. I hope that the stories are well received, and enjoyed by all.

http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296925546&view=story&zone=anime

Review thread: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/48277-initial-d-yaoi-keisuke-x-takumi-rivalry-revealed-series/

[So How About A Review Exchange Thread?]

Um...I'd like to get some reviews for my only fic I currently have posted, Wouldn't Trade It For The World, in the Yu Yu Hakusho fandom.....I'm not sure why it hasn't gotten any yet, but I think it's for two reasons.

It's not Yaoi, and there's no sex in first chapter....

Or I blew people out of the water and they had nothing to say.

I dunno. But....I'd like some reviews for it....even if it just says "Great fic, keep up the good work." I just like to know that my work is worth reviewing.

Link:

http://yuyu.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600200485

Yeah, finally a fandom I know so I can do a read and review. I am not into vampires and similar topics, so the vast majority of the threads I have seen for review exchange totally do not work for me as a reader. However, I do know Yu Yu Hakusho, and will be happy to read this piece. I'll read and review ASAP.

[Explain Your Avatar]

I am classic car fanatic and the barracuda is my number one fave of all time. I love the AAR style cuda, and I write fanfiction for Initial D street racing anime. Because of my auto mechanic knowledge, and my love of classic muscle cars, I gave an OC character the wet dream car I lost when I got divorced in the 90's. My self inserts in the series truly is the car I lost which was a primer coated AAR Cuda. If I had been able to keep my beloved muscle car, I would have painted it green just like my pic.

[Writing a pregnancy TBBT story and need advice from mothers!]

Pregnancy food cravings: To be honest even I do not understand the twisted foods I was eating, or why I could not do the reasonable swap outs over the course of the day. I was driven batty until I ate these really revolting combinations. My now ex hubby would be the one running most often to the bathroom with the fits of nausea over the bizarre foods I was chowing down on incessantly. I've been told by other moms that I craved really strange food combinations, and I am not talking the often mentioned pickles and ice cream status quot. I did have the morning sickness, usually after the sun went down which tapered off around 3 am most nights.

I was strangely obsessed with BBQ potato chips, licorice candy, and spaghetti sauce on ice cream. (yes at the same exact time as toppings for Butter pecan ice cream no less-Revolted yet?) I ate garlic pickles with berry flavored yogurt and peperchinis and funions brand chips (SP?) when not cramming the other down my throat as if my life depended upon it. The two biggest and weirdest food combo's never coincided for which I remain very grateful to this day. Another strange food combo I ate often was kippered snacks with mustard and orange marmalade on rye bread. Just typing that out is making me shudder.

To this day, after my second son was born, I can not stomach BBQ flavored Potato Chips, and rarely can handle more than a coupe bites of BBQ smothered meat before I gag. Same goes with Butter pecan ice cream. Even spaghetti sauce is a very rare edible because I ate so much of it when I was pregnant both times. I had to switch out ice cream favorites and a lot of other items after my second son. ROFL. Both of my living children were discovered before I had any clue I was pregnant. I went in for regular medical check ups because I was on birth control. I have had seven miscarriages because of not having a medical check up. My second was discovered at 5 weeks, so I had to have medications changed. Luckily I was on a drug that required blood tests to make sure levels were fine.

Like everyone else that has ever given birth is saying, each birth is a unique process. Some of us have nightmare labors, yet we do it all over again because we love our children so much that the temporary downsides can't possibly overcome the joys of watching our little ones grow, learn and change into remarkable human beings.

The pregnancy & birth ordeal: I was completely bed ridden for seven months with my second child. He was mercifully smaller than the first. My first was 10 pounds 11 and 1/2 oz and a C section because my right hip was pinned together a year before, after a riding accident where the 1900 pound horse fell on top of me. The horse went down so fast I could not escape the saddle so his weight falling on top of me crushed a big chunk of my body.

Both times I gave birth, I was over 4 weeks late for delivery, and had aged placenta break away before the actual births happened. One son was 10 and 1/2 months, the other a week shy of 11 months. My water never broke because the embryonic fluid bag was way too thick also. It was miserable being in active labor so long and the water not breaking to allow for the birthing process to progress. My second son was 6 pounds and 12 oz, so he was reasonable for natural birth once they managed to get my water bag busted and the birth progressed over many hours. Both labors wiped me out because I was in active for an insane number of hours. My first was 3 days of harder level labor pains without result, the second was 39 hours which ended with a baby in my arms. I had an epidural because they assumed I would need a second c section, but the hip had healed enough that it unlocked so I could have natural birth the second time around. I was one of those who showed nothing at all, not even a missed period until the 5th month with either pregnancy. I carried against my spine though. Having the babies against the spine can be difficult when they start kicking. If they are in the wrong position, you find yourself on the ground cause the spine gets hit and that can make a mess of your stride as I found out the hard way. Both my sons were football and soccer stars before birth. They kept me from sleeping for 4 months. I would sit in a rocking chair to get relief since the motion soothed them enough that they would sleep, even if I could not.

I hear folks say that I am lucky to have survived either birth, and they are probably correct. However, I would not change anything I went through when I look at both my grown sons. Despite their flaws, they remain my greatest pride, joy, and heart break because they are both my precious babies. They grew up to be strong men. It was all worth it even if I do still have moments where I wonder how nuts I was to go through it twice. Chukles@myself.

[Driven Heart - Initial D Yaoi]

Although semi raw, I posted Chapter 14 of Driven Heart. I am having to learn a new writing program since the old version is no longer compatible with Windows 7 even using the compatibility wizard. As of yesterday, grammar and other tool checkers flat stopped working. I apologize for any awkward sentences or run ons that might be found in the text for the moment. Once I get a better handle on the new program, I will be sure to revise and replace the Chapter 14 section. Thanks for everyone's patience.