FairySlayer

As we traveled to my brother's place this morning for Thanksgiving, my wife said to every shuttle driver and airport worker, "Thank you for working today."
She's awesome.

My wife euphemistically refers to “Mia: Confessions of a Dickgirl” as my “detective story” because it’s about someone with a private dick.

Words I would like to see less often in headlines: “blasts,” “slams,” and “outrages.”
Words I would like to see more often in headlines: “twerks,” “flashes,” and “humps.”
Of course, I realize that more articles in the second category would probably lead to more in the first. 

FYI, googling “Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them” garners 11,500 hits.

What happens when I make my grocery list in Google Docs on my phone:
I start typing “bread”; phone suggests “breasts.”
I start typing “half-and-half”; phone suggests “half-assed.”
Have I mentioned that no one should ever borrow my phone?

Spent 45 minutes hanging out under a bridge today. Note to self: Check the friggin’ forecast before you decide to take your bike to work. 

I love my pets, but I think it's creepy when people start acting like their pets are their children. On my commute this morning, I saw a car with a sticker that read, “My child has four paws.” I found myself wondering, if this person were in a burning building and had to choose between rescuing their dachshund or a neighbor's child, which one would they save?

So I had 400 words to go on NaNoWriMo, and I couldn’t think of what else to write. Then my wife says, “Write a sex scene. You might as well play to your strengths.”
There is now a sex scene. And I’m at 50,000!

I had an MRI on my shoulder today, and I have to say, there is nothing like being held motionless in a tube for 35 minutes to get you doing serious mental work on your writing projects. Among other things, I figured out what the first scene of my next novel will be, and I worked out the details of the sex scene in the upcoming chapter of “Multiversity.” I should spend more time in tubes.

I start typing: "see you soon" -- phone suggests: "see you naked"
I start typing "baby carrots" -- phone suggests: "babymaker"
Never, ever borrow my phone.

I’m trying to fill a position at work, and today someone named Marcia Brady applied. Kismet?

Eddie Forever is finished! 177 manuscript pages, 64,000 words. Whew!

Maine lawmakers’ not using the Oxford (serial) comma cost a dairy company $10 million.
Honestly, I don’t see why every style guide doesn’t recommend using the Oxford comma. What’s the down side?

Latest sign that I’m too often using my phone to write porn: The first suggestion after I type “big” is “melons.”

“Comfort and Joy” is finally done! And only 8 days after Christmas.

And to all a good night!

For once, I’m kind of glad that I live in a US state where the presidential candidates don’t bother to campaign.