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Review responses for "Just One Rule" [The Loud House]


GeorgeGlass

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From Fairy-Slayer on October 12, 2020

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I know there are rules against commoditizing household sexual activity (apart from every married couple ever), but I think Lucy owes Lana big-time for instigating Lincoln's quickie call.

Well, Lucy was just the lucky beneficiary; it could just as easily have been Lana herself, or one of the others. But maybe the girls should get together in secret to devise other ways of getting Lincoln horny during the day and thereby raising the quickie rate. :)

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That was a pretty amazing double-whammy, and the hot super-incest talk and its effects made it powerfully satisfying. 

Thanks!

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(As he ran down the list of sisters I was reminded of an HFPS picture that you probably should not look up.) 

HFPS? Tell me more.

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Heh, Lincoln probably never expected that getting it off his chest would lead to Lucy revealing the pregnancy-craving beast within herself.

Indeed, I don't think Lincoln ever would have guessed Lucy would be into that.

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Speaking of impregnation though, Lincoln knows the deal with his sisters, but he hasn't pondered about Girl Jordan's fecundity or the small-but-non-zero risk with Stella. Oops…

Well, both of them are about eleven years old, so as you say, the risk is probably small. But, as you also say, it's not zero. :)

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In the end it was very sweet that he made known his appreciation in all the ways Lucy made him feel better. He couldn't ask for a better confidant. 

Hmm, or could he? *music sting*

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(And down the street Clyde just screamed out in unknown anguish.)

And then was suddenly silenced. I fear that something terrible has happened. :)

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BTW was it supposed to be, "his scent and body heat"? 

No, the use of "her" was deliberate. There's an episode in which Lucy complains that her pulse is too robust; she'd rather have a more undead-like physiology.

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However, “I love that about you,” was purely fantastic.

That's probably my favorite line from this chapter.

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Thanks for an extra-intense bit of incestuous fun and love.

Thanks for another day-making review!

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From DoctorYnot on October 24, 2020

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Sooo excited for the next chapter. It looks like it's going to be Miss Johnson, who I was seriously hoping you'd do. She presents such a delicious, erotic narrative opportunity. God I hope our kiddo impregnates that sexy pent-up fox, that womb of hers is just begging for a cute little white haired baby to be put inside it, and the idea of it being her own young student knocking her up is MADDENINGLY hot. I've always thought Agnes is legitimately one of the low key sexiest girls in the cast; her whole thing just does it for me, the done-up teacher's bun with a pencil through it, the stockings, the eyeshadow and, of course, those hips...There's a lot of passion seething within that chaste, frustrated older woman, if you ask me, and I think a chapter where we get to watch the normally mature, responsible Agnes fall for her cute little student's charm and it's all allowed to finally be released promises something very special. I'm really looking forward to it! Sorry about this not being a real review, I'll write one later, I just wanted to say this before anything else!

I don’t know what to say in response to this except “Stay tuned.”

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From Fairy-Slayer on October 30, 2020
 

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(Chapter 6) 

The sad fact is that Lincoln probably got a better workout disciplining the woman than he would have in gym class, though I'm sure that's not what he and Mrs. Johnson were thinking about.

 

Given Coach Pacowski’s use of barbed wire in his obstacle course, one could argue that sex with Mrs. Johnson was the less kinky activity of the two. :)

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I love how the teacher went from, "The girls have become very sexually inappropriate due to some influence," to "I want in!"

:)

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It was fun to see how she clued Lincoln in to what she wanted, and both funny & scary how quickly an eleven year old boy was able to read her.

By this point, he’s had quite a lot of practice. Which, really, is the thrust of this story (as it were): precociously horny boy with precocious sexual and interpersonal skills is turned loose on his elementary school, and wackiness ensues. 

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To be fair, the mature ones seem to know that the thought of impregnating them drives Lincoln wild, even if not consciously. Also interesting how her inhibitions switched completely off even as she thought about the consequences – especially if she had a white-haired baby. Oops. :)

My feeling is that Mrs. Johnson’s good judgment has an OFF button somewhere in there. 

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Thanks for another fun romp and even ever deepening thrusts mystery.

Thanks for another day-brightening review!

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From DoctorYnot on October 31, 2020

Rather than going paragraph by paragraph, I’m going to respond to your comments as a whole.

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While I really liked this chapter, I did have some thoughts on it. I thought maybe I could go into them a little and perhaps you'd get something useful out of it. In any case, I say all of the following very humbly and with respect, I'm sure you know that. This is just my perspective on things.

I couldn't help but feel Agnes gave in too quickly. I know that women becoming subconsciously attracted to a male that has a lot of sexual partners is a real psychological phenomenon, but I think the chapter would have unfolded in a more satisfying way if that only opened the door and created the possibility for things to happen in Mrs. Johnson's case, rather than spurring the entire event on its own. I can't help but feel that this came off almost like mind control (I'm wondering if in fact that'll come up later, like maybe a side effect of this thing the Louds have is increased pheremone production in males). I think that perhaps it could have been more gradual, and made a little more use of the fact that Agnes has had such a long dry spell and is so repressed, to ease into everything psychologically. I mention this because all the stuff going on outside the Loud House with Lincoln, Jordan and Stella has come off pretty believably to me so far, and I think it's really valuable to maintain that if possible going forward because it helps immensely with immersion for things to feel so authentic even with such a sexual premise. In fact, kids ARE pretty reckless at that age, hormones raging and frenzied to try those things. At the very least I remember puberty being like that for me, that monkey is impossible to get off your back.

But for Agnes, an adult, I do feel that if it were presented a different way you could get more out of her by tapping into more stuff from her circumstances, to draw out that same authenticity except tailored to her own character. For instance, say she stumbles upon Lincoln and either Jordan or Stella having sex, but they don't catch her. She stands there, rooted the spot, and watches them do the whole deed. She's a mature, responsible woman, but there's also that wild side to her we sometimes see hints of. The older woman knows in her mind that she should report it, that that's what she's bound by the law and school policy to do, but for some reason she doesn't. Maybe she talks herself into believing that taking care of it on her own would be being a good teacher, avoiding getting their parents or the police involved and get Lincoln and the girl to put a stop to all of this before someone else catches them and they ruin their future. So, she resolves to talk to her student alone and calls him into her classroom after school one day. Like, initially, the whole thing could stem from concern, and her demeanor would be stern, and Lincoln could feel nervous and afraid. She'd tell him she knows what he's been up to, and stresses to him that he's in danger of wrecking his whole life. That there'll be plenty of time to do the stuff he's doing when he's grown up but right now isn't the proper time. She demands details from him, asks if there's anyone else or just GJ/Stella. Once Lincoln admits to GJ AND Stella, you could have Agnes, stunned, inevitably ask 'and what exactly did you do with them?' and as Lincoln starts describing it and getting more and more explicit, she subtly starts rubbing her legs together, pupils dilating as she can't help but imagine the whole thing in her head, her long unsatisfied libido keening and bubbling and boiling just beneath her skin. She slowly, without realizing it, starts getting more into it, finds herself asking things that are less pertinent to the issue at hand and more voyeuristic and for her own gratification, like 'how did it feel?' and 'was she tight?' 'have they given you head' etc. I personally feel Lincoln is better as a sub, but in this case just like you did you could have him begin to sense what's happening and then turn the tables on her, tentatively asking her if, well, maybe she'd like to do it too...? Maybe she sputters a bit in response, frozen at first, but when she tries to say no he stands up from his seat, advancing on her, and she turns to putty when he puts his hands on her body, all those long suppressed feelings coming up to the surface in this incredibly debauched scenario where she's about to get fucked by one of her own students. She throws posh to the wind and kisses him and then the whole sex scene could unfold from there as you wrote it, with possibly just her being a little bit more surprised, more giddy at what she's actually about to do with a child and her own student, but otherwise identical.

By tweaking the lead-up a little bit I think you could have gotten a little more bang for the buck and had it more, I guess, personalized to Mrs. Johnson as the responsible but repressed teacher, which I think would make it more satisfying in a narrower sense. But that's not to say the chapter was bad, I still liked it! It's just, like I said, another set of eyes that maybe could help look at things a different way. Anyway, I know it's incredibly presumptuous of me to even mention any of this, but you're an experienced writer so I thought that different perspective could help. Honestly, I'm not even sure I should bring it up since you do hint that maybe Ms. Dimartino is on the docket (REALLY pumped for that if true) and maybe you're saving that kind of approach for her, in which case I've just made a fool of myself...But, like I said, I feel the girls in this story have surprisingly behaved pretty realistically so far, so I thought it'd be wonderful if that mood was maintained. In any case, I hope you take this in the spirit in which its meant! I'm loving the story, and I'd like to thank you for sharing this new chapter. Like I said before, I'll try and write a better review when I can, I'm just a bit pulled apart at the moment. Wanted to get this down while I could!

 

Given that this was the longest chapter in the story so far, I wasn’t inclined to make it longer still by including more buildup. I’m weirdly anal about having some uniformity among chapters (except for the occasional one that just gets away from me and ends up being way longer than the others).

In hindsight, what I probably should have done is dropped some hints in chapters 2 and 4 (in which Lincoln is in school) that Mrs. Johnson sees that something is up with Lincoln, and that she at least might be a bit attracted to Lincoln herself. But when I write a story like this, I guess I have a tendency to choose a “model” and stick with it – in this case, making only Lincoln and his partner the only POV characters in each chapter. Again, me being too anal for my own good.

BTW, it was your previous comment that inspired me to throw the pregnancy bit in there. I hadn’t considered it before, but once you put it in my head, it seemed too exciting a bit to leave out. 

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Aegis999

FINALLY Lincoln fucked Agnes, I'm so happy that happened, and she loved it, I hope they make it a regular thing and she gets preggers. I mean I know he went against Rita’s one rule, but hey, what if they both become preggo friends, talking how much they love having sex with lincoln or even they can cook up a threesome with him. 

Random question: Is there a possibility lincoln ends fucking maria, RA’s mom? 

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5 hours ago, Guest Aegis999 said:

FINALLY Lincoln fucked Agnes, I'm so happy that happened, and she loved it, I hope they make it a regular thing and she gets preggers. 

Glad you enjoyed that. I wasn't sure at first whether I wanted to go there with Agnes, but I subsequently decided that Lincoln banging, not just a teacher, but HIS teacher, would be a real turn-on.

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I mean I know he went against Rita’s one rule, 

Oh, that horse has bolted. The barn is but a little red speck on the horizon.

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but hey, what if they both become preggo friends, talking how much they love having sex with lincoln or even they can cook up a threesome with him. 

Random question: Is there a possibility lincoln ends fucking maria, RA’s mom? 

Not in this story, no. But I am planning to make this a trilogy...

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Guest Aegis999
3 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said:

Glad you enjoyed that. I wasn't sure at first whether I wanted to go there with Agnes, but I subsequently decided that Lincoln banging, not just a teacher, but HIS teacher, would be a real turn-on.

Yeah I know again, she may not be pretty for the normal eyes, but for me, she is a very fine wine, matured by the years, and we know canon wise by the show she has a wild side. And those goddamn childbearing hips. I have always thought that she knows her internal clock is ticking. 

I do hope Rita and she becomes best friends. And that she will accept all the incest in the loud house. 

BTW I hope Rita’s kid will be a girl….so she, eventually, can join the family fun.

BTW 2.0…..will any sister want to have a kid (again given the family history it has to be a girl) with Lynn Sr? I mean the incest was very well implemented to all the characters, and he does have fun with the oldest sisters. 

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10 hours ago, neo4812 said:

nice to see the other loud sibs break the “the rule” but darcy was quick to fuck. not even questioning what sex was, what is her home life like? aw well it doesn’t mater another great ch!

Darcy was under the influence of the loudamine (just not to the degree Carol was), which made her a lot more accepting of all the sexy stuff than she would have been otherwise. 

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From Fairy-Slayer on December 20, 2020

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(Chapter 7) 

Wow, that was a lot!  Action, fun, and new developments. It seems that everyone is eager to break the rules.

 

Lincoln may have the worst case of the Loud-hormone-madness, but his sisters all have it, too.

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It makes sense that Lisa would have deduced Lincoln's violations – or even calculated how long it would take him to give in – but it was actually a bit disappointing that Lucy blabbed (even though the joke worked – and I could actually see it coming).

I should have guessed you would.

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Now I have to wonder if Lincoln feels the same way or will just shrug if off in service of, uhm, getting serviced. ;)

Boning remains Lincoln’s top priority, for better or worse.

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Either way, the more people who are in on the secrets the less it will matter in the end.

…except with Darcy: Lisa should have known better than to let Darcy hear that conversation, but it's clear Lisa has a girlboner for her and it's making her a bit stupid. All in all I'm NOT complaining though. 

I should think not. :) But I think Lisa’s initial motives were to satisfy her scientific curiosity and to see Lincoln get it on with Darcy. Only when Carol rendered Lincoln unavailable did Lisa realize how much she wanted to fool around with Darcy. 

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I also have to wonder if Lori suspected something was off about Lincoln's tea party for the megalomaniac instead of the egomaniac and that's why she got Carol to join in. (Lincoln being so conscientious about proper preparation fit both the mood and made a nice opening for Lori's maneuver, IMO.) Considering how much more Lori was able to let go during and after Carol got a hearty dose of The Log was quite a breakthrough.

No, Lori had no clue, or she never would have drunk the tea or let Carol drink it. But once she had that exogenous loudamine in her system, she got a lot more open-minded (to speak only of her mind) about a lot of things.

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Oh, and would Lori really be affected so much by the Loudamine, or was it just an excuse to get in ahead of Lisa, plus maybe have an excuse for being bolder? I have to wonder. (Or maybe I'm just reading way too much into it.)

Maybe, maybe not. The placebo effect can still occur even when what you’ve taken isn’t a placebo.

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Darcy was wonderfully adorable with her eagerness to participate, even a bit giddy before the special tea, and great job keeping her child-like innocent intact (like starting to cry because her hymen wouldn't).

Darcy is so cute and sweet and emotionally intelligent in her own way that, it turns out, she’s pretty fun to write.

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Great job following the action around the room without losing momentum or your place with any of them.

Thanks! Let’s see if I can manage that when...well, no spoilers. :)

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Thanks for letting us watch as Carol and Darcy become ever Kinky for Linky. (…Agog for the Log… Delight for the White, etc. etc.)

Thanks for the review!

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From DoctorYnot on December 22, 2020

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Truly excellent chapter, I honestly believe it's the best one of the whole story so far.

Wow.

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Did an amazing job at capturing the feel of the show and all the characters, which is especially impressive since it featured such an eclectic cast that you wouldn't figure could believably have reason to interact at length or have any chemistry with each other, but they totally did, not to mention being breathtakingly fun and erotic.

When I was planning this story, I decided that the various non-Louds with whom Lincoln gets it on should include one very young girl and one teenage girl. Darcy seemed like the ideal choice for the very young girl, and her being Lisa’s friend created an opportunity to add some mad science to the mix and thus have a mechanism for including basically any teenage girl I chose. So I chose Carol because she’s hot. :)

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I'll write a more comprehensive review later, but for now, I just wanted to say I loved it! I know I sat this a lot but as always, the greatest virtue of your work, numerous and varied as those virtues are, is just how perfectly you duplicate the atmosphere of the cartoon and the real essence of the characters. They really feel like themselves, even in such an erotic, depraved context. What an outstanding piece of work.

Thank you! That, as you know, is always my goal.

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  • 1 month later...

From Maxsteele1986 on February 07, 2021

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I enjoyed the story so far.

Thanks!

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I hope you release chapter 8 soon.

It’s in progress, but there’s still plenty more work to be done. I’ll probably finish the next chapter of “Biological Imperative” first.

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8 hours ago, neo4812 said:

love the new ch! had to look up Christina. nice use of a very obscure girl

Thanks! I found the episode in which Lincoln flirts with Cristina’s picture quite memorable, and I thought it would be fun to have the new-and-improved Lincoln make a comeback with a girl with whom he was very much on the outs.

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From Fairy-Slayer on March 28, 2021

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(Chapter 8)

So Cristina found Lincoln too creepy before (even if reasonably so)… but she's the one so horny that she can come up with such an elaborate plan to take his dick "around the world"? and managed to be reasonably casual as she reeled him in? :D You go girl!  She (and you) did an excellent job bringing it all together. 

 

Thanks!

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I'd also like to thank Casey personally, but I guess her calendar is pretty full already. 

Yep. Plus, do you really want to bang an OC? 

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Lincoln's anxiety dream was also pretty fun, even if obviously a dream it did a great job showing his concerns about being caught – even if it also suggested he didn't think too highly of his male friends. (Zach could so date a mammal if he wanted to! ;) )

I had so much fun writing that. Honestly, it's the main reason why I started the "the other guys start to envy Lincoln" storyline.

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Now I do have to say that the set-up for this chapter doesn't seem as polished as your usual writing: It felt like the situation from "Making the Case" came up more than it needed to, and the conversation in the car seems awkward to me. To be fair, both views are necessary exposition, and maybe I just can't "hear" the cartoon style of the show in my head after not having watched it for years.

Or you may be right. My original plan with this chapter was to make it about Lincoln's (relatively) new crush, Paige. Then I switched gears when I decided it would be more fun to make it about Lincoln's former, utterly alienated crush instead. But I might have overdone it in showing what a 180 Cristina was making. 

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(I actually held onto this review for two weeks while going over the story again, but I still can't nail down why the opening of this chapter drags a bit for me.) 

There's a lot that had to happen in this chapter before the sex could actually work. Plus I added the dream sequence in there. So there was a lot of non-sex stuff at the front end.

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You did a fantastic job on their hat-trick escapades, plus Cristina's submission fetish – plus a feverish eagerness – made each round even steamier. 

Thanks!

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It was also funny how Cristina could be pleasuring him wonderfully (especially for a novice) and Lincoln couldn't help but compare her to his sisters too. 

Part of the challenge of writing this chapter was finding a way to make Cristina different -- sexually -- from the other girls Lincoln has banged so far. The whole thing with Casey and her collections of sex toys and porn were aimed at that.

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I wouldn't be surprised if that made him even hornier. Good thing that he didn't accidentally moan or otherwise let slip that her blowjob was on par with Lily's.

Even worse, he could have let it slip that Cristina's blowjob ISN'T on par with Lily's.

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Now I just wonder if Chuck kept a camera running to make sure they didn't break or steal anything… or because Casey wanted to examine and critique her sister's technique. 

Casey does not want to watch her little sister have sex. And Chuck doesn't want to go to jail for making child porn. :)

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Thanks for another fun romp.

Thanks for the review!

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From Fairy-Slayer on April 29, 2021

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(Chapter 9)

What's the reverse gender of a "Wham bam thank you ma'am!" :)

 

An excellent question, whose answer may be beyond my capacity for rhyme.

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I guess I can't blame her for wanting to make sure he was cleaned up and out of there quickly enough to avoid suspicion. After all, you did a lovely job setting up her worries and desires as the encounter approached. 

 

Thank you! I didn't think this chapter would work without Ana having some serious internal conflict to deal with before the sex (as with Cristina in chapter 8).

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Her pre-coital giddiness plus a touch of paranoia fits nicely with what she forgot to, uhm, fit in before Lincoln entered. ("She forgot to pay him to keep up the ruse, but she may really pay for it later"? ;) )

I thought about having her pay him afterward for that very reason, but since Lincoln didn't actually tell anyone where he was going, it didn't seem necessary from a plot standpoint. Plus, I didn't want to put Lincoln in the position of feeling like a boy-whore.

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Meanwhile Lincoln was quite the wonderful gentleman all the way through the encounter, and he probably doesn't mind since he's positive that he'll be "helping her again." And wow was that wonderfully intense help.

Thank you! Lincoln's crush on Ms. DiMartino was the main reason why I wanted to include her in this story (along with her general hotness, of course). In the other chapters, Lincoln is driven mainly by horniness; I wanted one chapter in which he had another motivation, too, one which would make the sex scene different from the others. 

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Afterwards, it's interesting to see Lincoln's fears catching up with him more and more. Puberty messes with emotions enough for normal people, so for a Loud boy it could be literal agony at times. Heck, imagine when all these white-haired babies start popping up all over town. Thank goodness Clyde is so understanding… at least until he sees Lori in that infamous HFPS picture.

"Psst! Nobody tell Clyde about Rule 34!"

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Also, much as I worry about Mrs. Johnston's loose lips (when they're not some part of Lincoln's body) it was a fun little scene when she brought her colleague in on the secret. Besides the risk of getting caught, she should be careful that Lincoln will always have room in his schedule to fit her in (or, you know, vice-versa).

She's definitely not as cautious as she should be. Agnes strikes me as one of those adults who never decided that the time for youthful wildness was over. 

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Thanks for this delicious 4A foray into Miss DiMartino's depths.

Ooooohhhh, that was...clever, I will grudgingly admit. :)

Thanks for the review!

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  • 1 month later...

Author notes [SPOILERS]

As in “Enter the Sandboy,” most of the chapter titles are meant to provide a small hint as to which character(s) Lincoln will have sex with in that chapter.

Lincoln and his friends returning to the 5th grade when the new school year starts is a joke about -- and an exploitation of -- the inconsistent passage of time on the show. The Louds had at least two Halloweens, two Christmases, and three April Fools’ Days without any of the kids having a birthday or moving on to the next grade. Of course, now they’ve actually aged everyone up a year, probably just to screw with me because they know I don’t have cable anymore and can't watch the new episodes.

Lola and Lucy each get a full sex scene with Lincoln in this story because they were the only sisters who didn’t have full intercourse with him in “Enter the Sandboy.”

Lynn's line "If you don't squeeze that butt, nobody else will!" was said by a substitute instructor in my morning exercise class. She immediately followed with, "Oooh, that was inappropriate."

The scissors trick that Stella uses to unlock the door of the empty classroom in chapter 4 was one that worked on the faculty elevator at my elementary school. :)

Elizabeth’s Mystery -- a Loud-world analogue of Victoria’s Secret -- was mentioned before in my story “The Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant.” Reusing it in this story was kind of a cheat, because the two stories are not canon with each other.

The hardest chapters to write were chapters 7, 8, and 10. Chapters 7 and 10 were difficult because orgy scenes are always complicated; you have to keep track of what everyone’s doing and what state of dress (or undress) they’re in, making sure not to completely neglect any character. Chapter 8 was difficult because it had to follow the orgy scene in chapter 7, and because I had to find a way to make it different from all the previous one-on-one sex scenes with Lincoln and a same-age girl.

For chapter 8 (“Crushing It”), my original idea was for Lincoln to get busy with Paige, the girl he crushes on in the episode “L is for Love.” But then I decided that it would be more fun if Lincoln did it with Cristina, a girl who was repulsed by him after seeing him flirt with a picture of her on video in “Making the Case.”

Cristina’s slip of the tongue when she says “Can I talk to you for a sex- I mean, a sec?” is the result of a typo I made while writing that line (the x and the c being next to each other on the keyboard). I thought it was funny and decided to just go with it.

Cristina’s older sister Casey is not canon. I made her up for the sake of this story.

“Fritz Sabatino,” the disgraced founder of Royal Woods Community College, is an allusion to Chris Savino, who created The Loud House but is no longer associated with it because of multiple accusations of sexual harassment.

Lily's outfit in chapter 10 was inspired by a piece of fanart I saw that shows Lily in fishnet stockings.

There will be one more story in this series, making it a trilogy. The third story has no title as yet, but I have begun outlining it.
 

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6 hours ago, neo4812 said:

fuck damn this was a good series! i cant wait for the 3 instalment. hope there’s a birth scene as well as getting some of the sisters pregers

Glad you liked it! 

I’ll just tell you right now: There will not be any birth scenes in the third story. Not my cup of tea. Sisters getting pregnant, on the other hand...

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From Fairy-Slayer on June 07, 2021

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(Chapter 10)

Pretty slick that Lincoln inadvertently nullified his parents' biggest concern about his extra-domiciliary dickings. 

 

Wow, try saying THAT five times fast.

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Also, making the celebration even more special with Lily's inaugural lovemaking was extra sweet. (It's a far cry from her moment with the pacifier in "Oops.")

With “Whoops,” I decided early on that it wasn’t going to be that kind of story. This story, on the other hand…

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I'm also very glad that the girls made sure to recognize that Rita deserved at least as much love (of all kinds) too.

That idea came to me kind of late, but then once I had it, I realized that I should have thought of it from the beginning.

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As for your notes, I wonder if that the picture of Lily you mention was inspired by that infamous fanfic, "Lily is a Baby Slut" by Outcast – though it's just as likely that many artists wanted to put her in fishnets on their own.

That’s quite possible.

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BTW I could have sworn that "4A" was intentional too.

Not that I’m consciously aware of.

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Thanks for this huge does of family fun and Lincoln's efforts to share that with many more. With how good he has it now I can only wonder how he'll get himself into a real jam in the third installment.

From here, things in the Loud house can only get crazier. Especially if they have visitors...

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