How I met the Un-Mother

[Guest D-Strut-Man]

The plot is a random joe nobody, let’s call him Eddie for now, is driving home from another day in the office. Eddies life up to that point has been mediocre, but it’s been strange. Having to deal with the fact that superheroes constantly battle against power hungry megalomaniacs, mythical monsters, and galaxy destroying cosmic horrors for half an hour each week grew tiresome. That is until he met the Un-Mother of the universe, Lady Darkseid, on the way home after she just finished punching Superman halfway into the Earth’s mantle. It was love at first sight (for Eddie at least, LDS had to stop and make sure this feeling of compassion wasn’t the result of the Black Mercy) and the two hit it off with home dinner dates and galactic invasions. Now the Mistress of the universe and bringer of pain would feel absolute pleasure and bliss at the hands of a mortal with too much time on his hands and a dick that goes down to his knees. And a seemingly common nobody would slowly turn into the universe's greatest threat thanks to the mundane power of human common sense.

Some guidelines:

1. Darkseid is a woman (obviously.) For reference, I give you this link: https://redblacktac.deviantart.com/art/Lady-Darkseid-541471979
2. The main character is an average joe, but he’s smart enough to notice the trends that happen in the comic book world. Like the fact that two of the biggest heroes in the world look suspiciously like a certain billionaire playboy and a tall, accedental prone reporter.
3. While he has no powers to speak of, his abnormally long dick (14”-16”) and prowess in bed has made him the absolute best in bed LDS has had since before Kalibak was born.
4. This is a spoof/porn with (minimal)plot. There’s potential in having the notorious Goddess of Evil and an average human man in a “secret” relationship. For example, the justice league knowing about them and constantly keeping an eye on the two of them, even while they have sex. Or Eddie could give tips on better dealing with the JLA and conquering the universe like targeting their secret identities or making genetically specialized Parademons.