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pimp daddy dumbledore


Guest Forgetten_Prophet

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Guest Forgetten_Prophet

read a lot of so & so goes back in time after witnessing the 2nd blood war play out and decide to change the outcome to save everyone etc, havent found one yet with dumbles as the guy, btw this is most definitely meant to be a mashup of dark comedy & porn with plot

anyways setup is as follows:

dumbles is dying as per cannon and realises he has colossally fucked up due top his constant manipulations leaving the only hope of the wizarding world a broken shell of a man who barely has the will to to even get up each morning let alone fight for & potentially sacrifice himself for the good of the magical world, taking in the other burdens that the rest of the wizarding world have brought upon harry he becomes pretty pissed which is only compounded when snape comes to him begging for his help in rescuing several of his pureblood female students who have essentially been told they will be made into breeding stock and sex slaves for the death eaters in order to curry favour with voldemort

so pissed off and trying to work out how to amend things with harry and save his students he heads off to his brothers pub to get advice and to get sloshed and hopefully feel better in the morning….you can see where this is going

the following morning albus wakes up only to discover that somehow he has traveled back in time  to 3 years before harry enters hogwarts, his only recollections as to how involve blurry memories consisting of streaking through hogsmeade, breaking into the department of mysteries whilst dressed as santa claus for some reason, kicking minister fudge in the arse whilst disillusioned and taking a literal swim in a vat of liquid luck before diving headfirst through the veil of death and shouting “ fuck them all i’m getting him a harem” ….and for some reason he cant quite recall but sends shivers down his spine anyways, he is sure that something within the veil cheered loudly (death)

realising he now has an empty slate, he takes harry from the dursleys with the sole intention of removing the horcrux (death is more then happy to help her master & yes i know he hasnt got the hallows yet, but given death is an omniscient & omnipresent being if there is a master at one point in its timeline it would exist in all of its timeline, short answer, harry has always been and will always the master of death regardless of if one variation hasn't collected the hallows)

his second intention is to ensure harry’s happiness and to fuck the rest of the magical world over, and what better way then to get his favourite pseudo-grandson a harem of lovely ladies...and if some of them just happen to be the pureblood daughters of his enemies in the wizengamot then oh well...its not like they will need any convincing really what with their parents attitudes and greed

 

 

 

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I’ve never heard of anything like this before. I would literally read just for Dumbledore swimming in a vat of liquid luck and Death cheering him on as he gets Harry a harem. At nine, Harry doesn’t actually want a harem of pretty girls but he’s so happy at getting a present from his grandfather that he doesn’t want to hurt Dumbledore’s feelings by saying no. 

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Guest Forgetten_Prophet

agreed, tbh for the first few years of Dumbledore raising him he is just glad to feel wanted and have someone who cares, so when dumbles asks harry if he would like a big happy family of his own some day the poor kid is all for it without really understanding what dumbles means

as such it would just be friends and puppy crushes first for year 1-2
realizations that they are different genders and all the fun and awkward things like that come year 3 (or year 2 for the girls, harry is a bloke and therefore denser)
followed by moving into new unexplored stages by book 3/4
eventually by around book 5 the harem is a go with the full backing & protection of the trolling master dumbledore

and yeah, you read that right, dumbles finds his true calling, trolling the ever loving shite out of everyone bar harry and his harem and he loves it

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  • 2 years later...
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