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Review responses for "Multiversity" [Gravity Falls]


GeorgeGlass

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From all_possible_worlds on July 25, 2017

> “Aww, you’re scared. I’m not gonna hurt you, hon.” The voice grew nearer to Dipper. A feminine form appeared in faint silhouette. “I’m here to teach you about girls.”

"Ooooh my..." - George Takei

The concept for this fic sounds really intriguing, and I love the rendition of Aphrodite as this sort of cougar / madame person.

We (Eh Steve and I) wanted her to be a low-rent version of Aphrodite in the way that Love God is a low-rent version of Eros.

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Even though no much happens on the first chapter, it sets up the series quite excellently. I already know this is going to be one of those works of yours that I look forward to, installment after installment.

Thank you! I hope that proves to be true.

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I only wonder how long it can truly be, is that one reality per girl and one chapter per reality? Or multiple ways it can go each?

One reality per girl, yes. But some realities will take two chapters to cover. And some will take less than one.

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I can think of three girls it would make sense to pair Dipper with, maybe four... unless... oh no.

Oh, yes. :)

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> “Let’s just say some universes are a bit too weird for the novice traveler like yourself.”

There is a pincest option, isn't there...? The worst thing is, if is you writing it, I would probably read it >.>

That's good news. :)

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From Edward_or_Ford on July 28, 2017

I'm pretty sure you already have an inkling of where I hope this is going …

 

And I’m pretty sure you have an inkling that that’s exactly where this is going. :)

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Regardless of where it leads, I'm certain I'll enjoy it. Looking forward to what is to come!

Thanks! I hope your hopes prove justified.

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From all_possible_worlds on August 02, 2017

Gotta hand it to old Aphrodite, she doesn't do things halfway. Giving the girl you like the right fetish so that she will go out with you is one thing, but giving that same fetish to the entire universe? Whoa! (and yes, I know she is just sending him to a pre-existing reality where that is the case already, infinite chickens crossing infinite roads and all that, but she could still have sent Dipper to a closer reality. You know, one in which his sister is not also creeping on little kids... ).

 

But what fun would that be? :)

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Speaking of which, creeper Mabel is just perfect! She is in-character-modulo-universe, since canon Mabel is the queen of creepy crushes. Is just that it becomes so much more disturbing in the "Straight 'Shooting'" reality (loved the pun when she mentioned it, and did a double take when I saw the Chapter title the second time and now got the joke).

I loved writing CreepyMabel. Especially because her creeping on nine-year-olds is more or less harmless because she's so bad at it.

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And, since we are talking about people who are in character, this is the first line in the chapter that made me laugh aloud: "and Thompson was…still Thompson, apparently." Poor Thompson. Not only is he still single in this reality, but his social situation is likely particularly awkward since it means he mostly hangs around boys much younger than him and their dates, rather than with guys his own age.

It's not easy being Thompson. In any reality.

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I also like that Dipper, despite his apparent good luck, is already suspicious of the Gravity Fall weirdness in question, even when it is benefiting him this time.

Dipper's proneness to anxiety and to overthinking everything does have an up side. He's not one to walk blindly into a trap (unless he really wants to believe that it isn't a trap).

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Third line that made me laugh aloud: "Spackler’s Underground Pest Poison: For Moles, Voles, or Whatever Lives in Holes.", specially when billed as gnome repellant. No big profound reason, it was just hilarious.

It's named for Carl Spackler, the gopher-hating groundskeeper played by Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

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The second line was Mabel's title drop, btw.

After I wrote the text of the chapter, I went through it looking for a line that would make a good title. That one won.

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Regarding the, right now very incipient, smut, I like how Dipper is super nervous, and apparently was super nervous too in the past of this reality.

We'll get more into the parallels between Dippers in the next chapter.

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I also enjoy how Wendy would be a pretty, well, gentlemanly?/romantic?/sweet?, in the more conventional case where the genders were reversed and the ages of both were bumped a bit higher, since she is taking care to make Dipper's first time special. In general, this chapter had me thinking about which social conventions would change and which would remain the same in a world were it was the norm for the girl to be the older one (ok, and fine, I am imaginning this stuff being more 15 to 17 than 12 to 15 because... eeh... despite the fact that I have both read and written worse :p). Does the change also make the girl the one who initiates/escalates by default? Does that make guys more wary about potentially pushy girls? (not just in the 'Mabel going after way-too-young kids' case, but also like, even Robbie and co. if their dates turn out to be less considerate than Wendy seems to be so far with Dipper...).

At least some of this will be addressed in the upcoming chapter. But yes, in the shotaverse, it's generally expected that the girl will make the first move.

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Also, Grunkle Stan's encounter with the Hand-Witch in this reality is something I am not sure if I am either curious about, or, more likely, really really don't want to know about ;)

Oh, you just HAD to put that in my head, didn't you? I am SO gonna get you back in chapter 4. :)

Thanks for the review!

 

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Well, that’s probably where the fic ends for me. Wonderful chapter, even though Wendy’s conclusion didn’t make that much sense. I wish we could see more than just one act as well. Although let’s face it, it’s probably deliberate to steer the story into the direction of your ship, so it’s quite clearly my stop. Thanks again, your fics are great.

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Well, that’s probably where the fic ends for me. Wonderful chapter, even though Wendy’s conclusion didn’t make that much sense.

That depends on your POV, I suppose. I've never seen anything on the show to suggest that Wendy has any romantic interest in Dipper; she just likes him and Mabel as friends (which is pretty nice in and of itself, given that a lot of fifteen-year-olds would probably consider themselves too cool to hang around with a pair of preteens). So even in the shotaverse, she's dating him because she enjoys hanging out with him (and fooling around with him), not because she thinks he's Mr. Right.

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I wish we could see more than just one act as well. Although let’s face it, it’s probably deliberate to steer the story into the direction of your ship, so it’s quite clearly my stop.

That's fine. As for the ship...no spoilers, but this story may not take the direction you expect.

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Thanks again, your fics are great.

Thanks!

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From shadowmaster on August 09, 2017

Hey, pretty cool chapter.

 

Thanks!

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Thanks for making a fanfic that includes Dipper (as we know him) with Wendy.

Certainly. It didn't even seem possible to begin Dipper’s tour of romantic possibilities without putting Wendy first on the list.

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Very in character everything (Dipper behavior, Wendy's, etc).

I can never hear that enough. :)

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Also, meanwhile tragic the ending for any fan of DipperxWendy, it is believable that even with that little change (girls liking younger boys) Wendy would reject Dipper. I mean, this is not because of age (three years is not that much of a difference nowadays).

I would guess that even these days, 3 years is a big difference when you're talking about a 12-year-old and a 15-year-old. Even in canon, Wendy once told Dipper that she's too old for him, which is how I got the idea to send Dipper to a world where their age difference wasn't a barrier to dating.

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Wendy likes Dipper, but I think that unless some changes (for any author), it would be difficult to find a reason for her loving him like that.....

Exactly. That's another reason why Wendy comes first in the order of alternate romantic partners: Understanding that Wendy doesn't love him helps Dipper deal with his tendency to hold on to what he wants to believe despite the evidence against it.

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I know that this is too much to ask, but could you make a long omake (I know they are short, but I am already asking, so why not asking for longer) of a threesome between Dipper with Tambry and Wendy..... XD

What's an omake?

In any case, I'm not planning any additional Gravity Falls stories at this point. But if you want to read a hot Wendy/Tambry scene (with Dipper watching), check out Fairy Slayer's “The Secrets of My Sis.”

 

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From all_possible_worlds on August 11, 2017

*massive spoilers for Chapter 3*

Poor Dipper. Anyone else would be pretty happy with being friends with benefits with Wendy Corduroy for two summers, but Dipper is not just hot for her, he is truly and well in love, and unfortunately, she is not, in any universe. I like how his memories of that reality really didn't help him realize that was the catch, mostly because alter-Dipper also didn't realize, and was willfully deceiving himself.

Exactly. And that’s a good observation to make, because the similarity among Dippers will continue to be important to the plot.

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The foreshadowing with the soda gesture was brilliant.

Thank you!

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I sort of intuited it might be heading that way when she didn't remember the detail that had so much significance to Dipper, although one could also interpret it as Dipper being in general more given to notice details than Wendy. Actually, I kinda expected a worse outcome. Something like Wendy being the type of girl to never call after they have done it and Dipper feeling used. Your version still paints Wendy a lot more sympathetically. At worst, she let Dipper deceive himself. At best, she honestly thought he knew what the deal was. Which makes sense, if she is roughly the same character as in cannon, modulo the werid world-wide fetish.

She may not be in love with Dipper, but she certainly likes him, so she wouldn't just use him and cast him aside. She just assumed that Dipper was operating on the same set of assumptions that she was, and that after a couple more years of fooling around together, they would amicably break it off, and Dipper would go find himself a Mrs. Robinson. She didn't count on Dipper actually being in love with her.

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The sex scene was both pretty darn hot and super fun in how it plays around with the usual expectations.

One thing I especially enjoyed in planning the shotaverse chapters was figuring out how social norms would differ if it was usual for older girls to date younger boys. Basically, it gives girls both more power and more responsibility. (For example, as we saw with Tambry and Chez, it's the girl's responsibility to make sure the boy is home by curfew.) And I really liked the idea that in the shotaverse, losing your virginity is a bigger deal for boys than for girls.

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For example, Wendy being turned on by Dipper exaggerating his age... downwards, and this gem of a line: "Yes, baby, keep sucking, suck them for me, it feels so good..." Somehow Wendy sounds like a male pornstar there, and since it is Wendy Corduroy we are talking about, I am not 100% sure that's due to the shotaverse.

She is kinda butch. The word Mabel uses to describe her, “lumbersexual,” is typically used for men.

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Also, remember how you always get your protagonists ridiculously in character even as you are making children cartoon characters star in a porno? Well...

> Jeez, he thought. I’m second guessing my second guessing. I’m third guessing myself.

That, right there, is Dipper in a nutshell! Kudos.

Thanks! Being on a journey of self-discovery, Dipper is going to be doing a lot of introspection in the course of this story, which provides plenty of opportunities for bits like that.

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And, of course, similarly:

> “State law says I have to give you thirty minutes,” the old man replied. “So I’ll give ya fifteen. I call that a reasonable compromise.”

Is the most Grunkle-stanish thing I can imagine.

I love writing Grunkle Stan's dialogue.

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By the way, I thought we both agreed Grunkle Stan's sex life in the shotaverse was something no one should have to think about. The idea of Stan getting it on with catheterized nonagenarians is definitely not a mental picture I needed.

My bad. :) I totally forgot about that line. Although, as you point out, it does rather concisely illustrate one of the down sides of life in the shotaverse.

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And I am already bracing myself for dreaded Chapter 4... "Oh boy" indeed. But if it is this early in the line-up, then it cannot be the fic's conclusion (my money is on Dipcifica only because you brought her up on Chapter 1, then again, I know that's what you want us to think... Mmmm... plots within plots).

No spoilers. :)

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Also, I kind of imagine your Aphrodite singing this when she answers the phone, but in a bored nasal tone: https://www.youtube.com/embed/XmdJcOI5YLQ?start=35&end=44

Yeah, I could see that. Except she’d probably break into a hacking cough halfway through the first line. :)

Thanks for the review!

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From shadowmaster on August 16, 2017

Not what I expected..... *cringe* But if you like it like that, I will respect your decision.....

 

Thank you. And we'll be on to other universes after the next chapter.

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But really, I want to see a Tambry x Wendy x Dipper (very explicit..... XD)

Did you check out that Fairy Slayer story I mentioned?

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From all_possible_worlds on August 16, 2017

*chapter 4 review, spoilers up to that point*

The dreaded Chapter 4. Incestverse? Pinecestverse?... the Lannisters send their congrats?

I call it the Incestverse. Pincestverse is good too, though, because as they say, Pinecest is finecest. (I’m sure someone says that.)

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Well, to be fair, I planned to spend this chapter uncomfortably teetering at the edge between disgust and fascination at the particular sub-genre in question. And, don't get me wrong, there was plenty of that, particularly at the end. To your credit as a writer, you gave cannon-Dipper pretty much the only motivation I would believe to overcome his reservations: his desire to protect/help out his sister.

Thanks. I wanted readers to appreciate Dipper's discomfort, so...mission accomplished, I guess. :)

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Of course, he is also clearly turned on by the situation himself on some level, and I suppose only chapter 5 will tell if those feelings are his own or alt-Dipper's.

We will definitely be exploring that, as well as the reasons why Aphrodite sent Dipper to this universe in the first place.

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That said, what I didn't expect, was to spend so much of this chapter laughing my ass off, and not only at Dipper's confusion. The whole Pacifica digression was hilarious, of course, but it was this exchange that truly killed me:

> Soos piped up, “Good thing I’m an only child, huh, Mr. Pines? You don’t have to worry about me getting distracted by the opposite sex.”

> “I don’t worry about that ever,” Stan replied

Perfect, for both of them.

 

I was going to end that scene with Wendy's comment about her brothers keeping her up all night, but then that bit of dialogue just popped into my head.

What's really fun about writing this story is getting to put familiar characters in, not one, but a whole series of new situations. That creates a lot of opportunities to write funny dialogue.

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Also, I got why they were the power couple as soon as you begun hinting at it, with the magazine clippings. Like Dipper says, the deduction is fairly easy: the closer the family relation the more popular in the incestverse, same as the younger the guy the more popular in the shotaverse. I recognize that you were guiding the reader to that conclusion way before you put it explicitly in Dipper's thoughts, but you still managed to make me feel smart when you confirmed the obvious suspicions. Like you said one time "One of the signs of a good writer is the ability to subtly get you thinking in a certain direction and then, while you're still thinking, take you in that direction.", so, in that regard at least, masterfully done! ;)

Thank you! I suppose you could call this approach “show and tell” (rather than “show, don’t tell”): Show some hints first, then explain the situation explicitly later on.

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Now, can we please learn whichever life lesson this universe is supposed to teach Dipper, so that we can get to sex scenes that do *not* end in "Thanks, Bro-Bro."

Don't worry, we'll wrap up the Incestverse in the next chapter -- and move on to even more bizarre things. :)

Thanks for the review!

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