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Review responses for "Hot Yoga" [Phineas and Ferb]


GeorgeGlass

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Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, it's me again,  I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I read your story, ''Dil-Drones', and in my opinion, I thought it was a very nice story, and I really liked the chracters, especially Oscar and Adale, I thought they were good characters, so anyway, hope your doing well and oh, and one question if your not still busy with your other stories, in your last comment,  you said that you were working a little bit of the outline for the story, perhaps, maybe if you want, when you have the time to reply to this comment, you can post some the outline you written, but the decision is yours to make if you want to post it or not, oh and you said that the 'Hot Yoga sequel ' is currently untitled, so if you want, I can help you think up a title, but the decision for the title is yours to make,  anyway, hope your doing well, and hope to hear from you again soon, bye and have a nice day.

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Glad you liked “Dil-Drones” and Oscar and Adele. I really enjoyed writing their dialogue. 

Here are a few pieces of the outline for the story—working title, “The More, the Merrier” (chosen because new people are being added to the group and because “merry” is an allusion to the Christmas special that Phineas and Ferb are shooting elsewhere). The first bit is a chart that I use to keep track of which characters already have an activity they’re involved in at each time point in the story. This helps me ensure that no characters are accidentally left out, or used in more than one activity at the same time. 

Below that are notes about what the characters are doing during the first 2 time points. A couple of things have been redacted to avoid spoilers.

CHAR

Start

1

2

3

4

Adyson

x

x

   

x

Balthazar

x

x

   

x

Coltrane

x

x

   

x

Dr Hirano

x

x

x

 

x

Ginger

n/a

n/a

x

   

Gretchen

x

x

   

x

Jenny

x

x

x

   

Melanie

x

x

x

   

Midas

x

~

     

Monty

n/a

x

x

x

 

Pedro

x

x

x

   

Roger

x

x

x

x

 

Sally

n/a

x

x

x

 

Stacy

x

x

x

   

Vanessa

x

x

x

x

 

  

Beginning

Dr. Hirano wears tight, sexy yoga pants; arrives with Stacy and Coltrane.

Adyson and Gretchen arrive together; mention that Ginger is running late because singing backup in Christmas special.

Vanessa arrives with Balthazar and Midas. Is giving Balthazar advice. Also says Monty is supposed to be bringing someone new tonight.

[Monty and Sally not there yet.]

Melanie brings Roger.

Jenny brings Pedro; has been tutoring him, or used to be his babysitter, or something.

 

“Class” opens with Jenny leading everyone through warmup stretches while the incense burns.

 

Time 1

[Ginger not there yet]

Monty arrives with Sally; “introduces” her to Vanessa; Vanessa says she’s going to make up to her for taking the Mindy McGuffin doll; Monty and Vanessa undress and play with Sally.

Gretchen services Adyson, ending with XXXX.

Balthazar and Melanie fuck while Roger watches.

Coltrane fucks Stacy; Dr. Hirano and Jenny watch and finger each other while Pedro watches. Dr. Hirano instructs him in the proper way to finger a girl’s pussy and tells him that she needs him to XXXX.

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Guest Star wars player 1

OK, I think that the working title 'The more, the Merrier' is a great title for the sequel and you should use it,  anyway thank you for showing me the outline of the sequel, and hope to hear from you gain soon, and  I also have a few questions for you about the sequel, 1. Since coltrane is the Hirano family's boyfriend, will he kiss Stacy, Dr.hirano, and Ginger during the time he's paired up with each of them, because I think this would be a nice touch to their relationship in the story, and I especially would like to see him and Dr.hirano kiss, because I did like they're pairing alot in the first story, but the decision is yours to make if you want this to happen in the story, and will he and Dr.hirano do the same position they did in the first story ? 2. Since Monty and Vannessa are boyfriend and girlfriend,  I recently noticed that they did not kiss in the first story, so maybe if you want, you can have them kiss in the sequel. Anyway, hope your doing well with the story, and let me know what you think about my questions whn you have the time, bye and have a nice night.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, it's me again,  I just wanted to say hi and see how your doing, and I also wanted to let you know that I read your new chapter for 'The Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant' story, and I really liked it, and I can't wait for the next chapter, anyway, how are you doing with your stories ?, and how are you doing with the sequel (p.s, if you haven't known,  I posted a comment a while ago, and I had a few questions in it and I also said that the title you choose for the sequel, 'The More, the Merrier', was a great title for the sequel, and I said that you should use it.) I hope to hear from you again soon and good luck with your stories and the sequel,  bye and have a good night.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Star wars player 1

Hi its me again, I just wanted to say hi and hope that you're having a nice spring break, and I've also been recently reading your story 'Multiversy' and I'm really enjoying it, and I also am excited for the next chapter of 'The Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant' story, anyway, good luck with your stories and hope to hear from yoo again soon, p.s I just wanted to ask you a question or two if you don't mind,  how long does it usually take a writer like you to make an entire chapter ? and how are you doing with the 'Hot Yoga sequel' or better known as 'The more, the Merrier' ? anyway, bye and hope you have a nice rest of the day and a nice week.

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Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, Happy Easter!  and good morning,  I just wanted to say hi and ask how your morning is going, hope your doing well with your stories and hope to hear from you soon, oh and by the way if you don't mind,  maybe when you have the time to reply to this comment, maybe you can post any news about the sequel or as you called it 'The More, The Merrier', but you don't have to if you don't want to, anyway hope you have a nice day and have a happy Easter!

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Hey there. Had a lot going on in RL lately, but I have finished outlining “The More, the Merrier” (except for some of the denouement, because I’d rather figure that stuff out while I’m writing the earlier parts). Will probably start working on this one regularly once I finish the next and final chapter of “Splinter.”

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Guest Star wars player 1

Okay, thank you for replying to my comment, and hope to hear from you again soon,  oh and I will also keep an eye out for the final chapter of your 'Splinter ' story,  oh and one question,  when you're working regularly on 'The More, the Merrier ' will you be leaving comments on how your doing with it ? the decision to do this is yours of course,  anyway, good luck with your stories and hope that you have a nice weekend, bye and have a nice rest of the day. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, it's me, I wanted to say good morning and ask how your doing with your stories ? I looked up the page where it says you have 20 active stories, I have a question about this, does active story mean a story you're currently working on like 'Multiversy', anyway, let me know as soon as you can and hope you have a nice day today, oh p.s. you said on your last comment that you were working on the 8th and final chapter of 'Multiversy', how long does it usually take a writer like you to make a whole chapter for one of your stories? anyway, let me know when you have the time and hope to hear from you again soon,  bye and have a nice day.

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12 hours ago, Guest Star wars player 1 said:

Hi, it's me, I wanted to say good morning and ask how your doing with your stories ? I looked up the page where it says you have 20 active stories, I have a question about this, does active story mean a story you're currently working on like 'Multiversy',

Hey there. I consider a story active if it has made it beyond the “idea” stage and has actually been outlined or written to any degree. Although some of these projects take years to finish, I plan to finish each of them eventually. 

Just for the heck of it, here is my list of currently active stories: 

In progress and partly posted (multi-chapter):
1.    Country Summer
2.    Delta Delta Delta
3.    Make It All Better
4.    Multiversity
5.    Splinter
6.    Auntie’s Home

7. The Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant

In progress, not yet posted (multi-chapter):
8.    Bad Mother
9.    Keene’s College Weekend
10.    Little Rose
11.    The Power Arcane: An Erotic Anthology
12.    The More, the Merrier
13.    Untitled dick girl story

In progress, not yet posted (one-shot):
14.    Goldilocked
15.    The Happiest Place
16.    Imaginary Tokyo
17.    Untitled sequel to “Miss Match”
18.    A Sweet Little Girl Like You (Raffle story)
19.    Apprentice

In progress, collaboration:
20.    Tales from the Glory Wormhole

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anyway, let me know as soon as you can and hope you have a nice day today, oh p.s. you said on your last comment that you were working on the 8th and final chapter of 'Multiversy',

Actually, it’s “Splinter” that I’m writing the final chapter of; “Multiversity” has 3 chapters left to go. The next thing I expect to post, though, is the next chapter of “Auntie’s Home,” which is currently in beta.

Quote

how long does it usually take a writer like you to make a whole chapter for one of your stories? anyway, let me know when you have the time and hope to hear from you again soon,  bye and have a nice day.

Sorry—I meant to answer that question the first time you asked it. The answer, though, is that it’s almost impossible for me to say how long it takes me to write a chapter, because I’m always jumping from one story to another. (I have ADHD, and that’s the only way I can manage to be consistently productive.) I even jump among chapters of the same story; for example, I’ve written at least a little bit of text for each chapter of “The More, the Merrier.” Of course, I preferentially work on earlier chapters, but if a scene in a later chapter has written itself out in detail in my head, I strike while the iron is hot and write it down.

Have a good one.

Edited by GeorgeGlass
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Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, it's me again, thank you for answering my questions and hope you're doing well with your stories, oh and by the way, in one of your latest comments you said that you would be working regularly on 'The More, the Merrier' once you've finished your 'Splinter' story,  does this mean you will be working on making the chapters, since you said you had finished outlining the 'The more, the Merrier ',  and you said that you consider a story active when it's been outlined and outside the idea stage, but if you're not planning on doing this yet and your still working on the story, then take your time, anyway thank you for answering my questions and have a good night.

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  • 2 months later...

Reply to Star wars player 1’s review:

Quote

Hi, it's me, I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I am going to give a full review of 'Hot Yoga' since I've been wanting to review this story for quite a while, so anyway,  I'm going to start the review so I hope you enjoy it, starting off with how I first read the story, I had begun to get really interested in phineas and ferb fanfiction stories on adultfanfiction, particularly 'Truth or Dare' and it's sequel 'Danville, we have a problem', which until recently a while ago, I didn't even know that you wrote those stories as well as 'Full Moon over Danville', Dark dreams, Forbbiden fantasies', and 'Sweet dreams', which are all really great stories in my opinion, 

Thank you!

Quote

now when I read the first chapter of 'Hot Yoga ', I found it quite interesting, but near the end of the first chapter, when Melanie was paired with Baltazar, that part hooked me even more and I found myself wondering how that story would continue. 

On the show, Melanie is generally portrayed as a bored office drone, and I thought it would be fun to write about what might lie beneath that blasé exterior. Then I decided that in her heart of hearts, she's into young boys (and, to a lesser extent, teenage girls), and that Jenny's special incense was going to set those impulses loose in a big way. 

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When I read the second chapter,  I was really hooked on the story, and I was now really anticipating the third chapter,  and then when the third chapter came, I even grew more fond of the story, and finally when I read the 4th chapter of 'Hot Yoga ' I thought it was a great way to end all the story. The beginning of 'Hot Yoga ' setted the story and as the more chapters came, the more the build up increased for the characters,  and I really enjoyed that, and I really liked the shifting perspectives of the characters as well. 

I hadn't used shifting perspectives much before then, so I thought that would be fun to try. Also, it would enable me to better describe what the characters were experiencing.

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So the story is a great, hot story and to me it is one of the very best stories you've written. 

Thanks!

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Now moving on to the characters,  I really love how they found their interest like Melanie interest in young boys, and Monty and Vannessa's interest in little girls, and Jenny interest in having sex with Midas, I thought that was a great way to tell the story. Now on to the pairings, I really love the pairings in the story, especially Coltrane and Dr. Hirano, when Coltrane got paired with Dr.hirano, I not only thought it very hot, but because of him becoming the Hirano family's boyfriend, and when Dr.hirano told him that he could be making Stacy and Ginger a another sibling, I really loved that part, because now Coltrane not only has become their boyfriend, but he realizes that he could become a dad to his girlfriends mom, and that of course makes him lose control and fuck her, and it is really a heartwarming touch their relationship an the story. 

Part of why I chose Dr. Hirano to include in the story was because of my "mother's duty" fetish (ie, I'm into moms who teach their kids first-hand about sex). She has a sultry voice (courtesy of Ming-Na Wen, who voices her), and I could easily imagine her using that voice to instruct her daughters and Coltrane in the finer points of lovemaking. And I wanted Coltrane to have a role because we don't see much of him on the show even though he is ostensibly Stacy's boyfriend.

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Another one of the things I loved about Coltrane and Dr.hirano's pairing is the sex position the do, I am a huge fan of stories that include doggy style, and this story just provides a great example of that. 

Yeah, I'm into that too. :)

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I had first heard of Dr.hirano when she aappeare breifly in 'Dark dreams, Forbbiden fantasies ' , where she was giving baljeet a hot blowjob ( p.s. I really liked that part, and sometimes I wondered if you were planning on making that part longer, beacause I really would like to see how that turned out), 

I don't have plans to continue with that, but there's a forthcoming scene in "Auntie's Home" that that brief scene with Dr. Hirano and Baljeet inspired. 

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then I heard of her again,  and soon after that, I looked her up and she is a beautiful, hot, character and a very loving mom to Stacy and Ginger, and when she had sex with Coltrane doggy style, I thought that was really hot. so I really enjoyed their pairing and I can't wait to see how their relationship has developed in 'The more, the Merrier '. 

Yes, we'll get a good look at the evolution of that four-way relationship in this story.

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Now into Jenny, I think that she is just such a great character, and I really love her development throughout the story, when she becomes interested in having sex with other species, which of course is Midas, 

I figured, this is the girl who went on a "Save the pigeons" campaign, so she's got to be an animal lover. Plus, she's a total granola with lots of far-out ideas, so it's pretty easy to take her in crazy directions sexually.

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I really can't wait to see who she pairs up with in 'The more, the Merrier ', so 'Hot Yoga ' is a great story with great characters and very hot sex scenes, I love this story and it will always be one of my favorite stories of yours, so this is my review of 'Hot Yoga ',  I really hope you enjoyed reading this review, and I hope to hear from you again soon, I hope you're doing well with 'the more, the Merrier ' , and I can't wait for chapter two, and I hope you're doing well with your other stories too, and I hope you're doing well, bye and have a good night. 

You too! And thanks for the review. 

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Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, it's me,  I just wanted to say hi and say thank you for replying and saying all those nice things about my review of 'Hot Yoga ',  anyway, hope you're doing well and hope to hear from you again soon, good luck with your stories, bye and have a good night. 

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Guest Star wars player 1

Hi, it's me, I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I have just read 'Auntie's Home' and I think it was a very good story, oh and one question, are there going to be more chapters to 'Auntie's Home' or is it just four chapters long ? Let me know when you have the time, hope you are doing well, good luck with your stories, bye and have a good night.

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20 hours ago, Guest Star wars player 1 said:

Hi, it's me, I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I have just read 'Auntie's Home' and I think it was a very good story, oh and one question, are there going to be more chapters to 'Auntie's Home' or is it just four chapters long ? Let me know when you have the time, hope you are doing well, good luck with your stories, bye and have a good night.

Glad you’re liking it. At this point, I’m planning to write 3 more chapters for “Auntie’s Home.” 

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